Would you be angry if your alma mater rejected your DS or DD?

Parents Corner
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<p>I didn’t read all of the responses so I don’t know if this point has been made but it is a lot harder to get into college these days than it was 30 years ago. My daughter applied this year and I was shocked by some of the rejections and waitlist offers. I’m convinced if this was 30 years ago her results would have been much different.</p>

<p>You’re taking this personally and it isn’t. It’s tough because we and our kids have an emotional attachment to some prospective colleges and for the colleges this is a business. But I think it is fine if you want to stop donating money.</p>

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<p>Bay, he did owe your husband the courtesy of looking at your daughter’s file. You would have thougoht that sheer curiousity over your D’s acceptance would have propelled him to look. Shame on him.</p>

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<p>Angry is too strong a word. We make token contributions to the school that rejected my kids - enough to cover the cost of postage and 10 minutes of the phone solicitor’s time ($10). On the other hand, I LOVE the schools that admitted my kids -because they saw the best in them, as I do. Alma mater moves on, and so do I. We’ll still attend events at the school that are of interest to us, but in a way they’ve done us a favor by providing us the opportunity to learn about and love a couple other schools, whose events we attend and where most of our money goes. </p>

<p>It’s possible the prez at Bay’s H’s alma mater did look into the file and couldn’t report what he’d found. Just because you didn’t hear (and I don’t think anyone is going to give you specific reasons, before or after) doesn’t mean you didn’t draw his attention to something. It’s good to let them know how their policies affect alums.</p>

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<p>I was furious and confused when my daughter was waitlisted by my alma mater. What stung the very most was seeing who from her class was admitted. </p>

<p>On objective, irrefutable measures to which I was privy [GPA (known through Cum Laude honor society), other honor society memberships/scholastic awards, National Merit, AP Scholar awards, ECs, athletic/service involvement etc.) my daughter was undeniably superior to several classmates who were admitted. One girl in particular was downright dull. We could not for the life of us figure out why she was admitted to this selective university, and freshman year was given a SINGLE dorm room (unheard of at this particular place) until we learned her mother works for the university (accounting) and reports directly to the president. </p>

<p>Four or five other lesser-qualified students from her class were also admitted and enrolled. All were full-pay; we needed financial aid. </p>

<p>Strangely, though, my daughter subsequently received a letter from them, encouraging her to consider transferring to their school if she was not happy at the college she chose to attend. I thought that was really odd. How exactly would she be more acceptable to them later on? Given all she had achieved, if she hadn’t impressed them coming from HS, I can’t imagine what she could do freshman year in college that would be any more impressive to the admissions committee. </p>

<p>So, yes, I was angry and I moped. I called the admissions office for an explanation. I was told I would be contacted, and wasn’t. I called back, was told the same thing, and was never called. I emailed the admissions director for my region, never got a reply. </p>

<p>Until these experiences, I had felt a warm tie to my college, wore my sweatshirt proudly, treasured my memories and educational experiences. After the way we were treated, I was just not feeling the love anymore. No, I won’t ever give them another penny of my money.</p>

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<p>Most parents would not get into their alma mater today either. Think about that before going mental over it. And support your school.</p>

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<p>my brother in law was when Georgetown rejected his daughter, thus ending his financial support</p>

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<p>That’s right barrons, it’s not the same situation as it was when we parents were applying to college. These decisions are not personal and je<em>ne</em>sais_quoi, in your case it sounds like it was about financial aid. The amount of aid you needed is also taken into account. This year Reed College had to change their admissions decisions for 100 applicants over the issue of financial aid.</p>

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<p>So what?!</p>

<p>The fact is that parents did get into these schools and over the years the schools have made a point of telling us how we’re all part of the Whatsamatta U “family”. Then we’re told how are donations will insure that good old WhatU will stay a leader for future generations. Of course they fail to mention that it may not include our future generation.</p>

<p>S1 didn’t apply to my alma mater but S2 may. The fact is that the colleges make a real effort to promote a sense of continuity with alums, present students and future endeavors. I am all in favor of rejecting students who aren’t qualified, but if a legacy’s child is in the 50th%-tile statistically and applies ED, frankly they have some explaining to do if they reject that candidate. </p>

<p>They aren’t compelled to take my kid, but neither am I compelled to keep on giving.</p>

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You are joking, right? You really think the President of the college has the time to read the files of all the legacy kids that do not get accepted? Obviously you do not realize how busy college presidents are, and the letter that you got assuredly did NOT come from the president, but from some assistant or aid (and probably a standard form reply). Listen, colleges - especially selective colleges- are trying to build a strong class and increase their applications and climb the rankings (along with educating students ;)) How many NON-LEGACY kids do you think would apply to these top colleges if it was known that 85% of the college slots would go to legacy kids??? Probably not so many - applications would drop and ranking would go down… so highly-selective colleges CAN’T accept all the legacy kids that apply.</p>

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<p>S4 elected not to apply to my alma mater. In any case, they kind of discouraged applicants in OOS when we went on the tour. If he did apply and was rejected, I’d be a little upset because he exceeded their requirements, but I really wouldn’t care about it.</p>

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<p>I completely agree with vinceh. Schools aren’t compelled to take a legacy applicant, but nor is that parent compelled to donate. How about the nerve of an alma mater that refuses merit aid for a qualified legacy applicant, and then calls shortly thereafter to ask for donations to assist with student scholarships? Pah-ha-ha! Not likely.</p>

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<p>Great post anxiousmom.</p>

<p>I also agree with the last sentence made by vinceh. Don’t give to your alma mater if you don’t feel like it. I quit giving to mine because they started publishing the amounts of the alumni donations and it made me mad that people saw how little I could give. They also were in the habit of profiling some of the rich successful alumni so I decided they could go to them for donations. Years later one of the professor wrote an eloquent letter about how the alumni who can only contribute a small amout are very important to the health of the school’s endowment so I started contributing a small amount again.</p>

<p>Being legacy is one factor in admissions decisions that works in an applicant’s favor. The fact is that this year the top schools had way more qualified applicants than they could accept, it was an issue of space. The qualified legacies were rejected and wait listed just like everyone else. If the original poster’s kid got into an Ivy League school but not his or her alma mater all that proves is that there was an element of arbitrariness in the admissions decisions this year.</p>

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<p>No, H was inquiring only about our D. </p>

<p>We didn’t care whether the President himself responded or not, we would have been happy hearing from a delegated peon who looked at D’s file. The rejection seemed like it must have been a mistake, given the circumstances. [btw, I emailed an inquiry to the head of Admissions at Stanford about my other D’s rejection (where we are not alums and for reasons I will not elaborate on due to privacy reasons) and received a reply specific to her file the next day from the regional officer. I was very impressed and quite satisfied.]</p>

<p>I believe my kids’ application efforts, qualifications and fees, as well as two generations of alumni monetary support, entitle them to a personal response that would have taken the President’s peons probably 5 extra minutes. We were surprised at his failure to show any alumni “love,” which bodes badly for the Development Office. Seems like bad business form to me.</p>

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<p>Bay – you already know what the answer is. Your daughter was qualified but there wasn’t enough room for her. This year the top schools had to reject qualified applicants that they would have accepted two years ago. When they were trying to decided which of the qualified applicants they would accept and which would be waitlisted they couldn’t just take the group that were legacies. It would give too much weight to the one factor of being a legacy.</p>

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<p>Our Dentists daughter was rejected from his Alma Mater a few years ago. As she had high enough stats to be accepted into a couple of ivies, and the Alma mater was not an Ivy, he was surprised and did ask why. Was asked if she had any native Indian blood as then they had a spot for her. She went to another school and the alma mater tried to talk her into coming as a transfer the next year. She was very happy at the school she ended up in so did did not take them up on it.</p>

<p>I don’t think he was angry, just disappointed. But I believe he did choose not to donate any more to the school.</p>

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<p>You thought the President of the University should spend time looking at a rejected student’s file so as to reply to a “scathing” letter? </p>

<p>I admire that President for not being bullied into wasting his time.</p>

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<p>What does this part have to do with legacy admits?</p>

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<p>Ah, here we go. You were under the impression that you were purchasing special privledges. How noble.</p>

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<p>Well, Pea, sounds like H’s alma mater ought to hire you. How long did it take you to come up with that response? 10 seconds? case closed.</p>

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<p>I agree with this, Bay. Obviously one doesn’t expect the president to do anything, but I would expect someone at the school to take a few minute’s interest.</p>

<p>I would have been very upset if our son had been rejected from his Dad’s alma mater. He was in the top of stats and Ecs for everything and yet the development officer who has cultivated us for years couldn’t give an encouraging word. So our kid applied to 10 schools to have all kinds of safety. Maybe they have to do this. Our kid was admitted there with a nice merit scholarship, but we had no idea what to expect.</p>

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<p>You’re right, pug., apparently that U must be bucks-up and can afford blow-off every reasonable inquiry from its regular donors.</p>

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<p>I’m a mom. I am wildly biased towards my kid. I’m truly surprised by the number of parents who truly believe they can fairly judge their child against another.</p>

<p>If college admissions was a matter of every applicant with Xgpa and Ytest scores were put in a hat and then randomly selected, I’d sympathize that your kid did not pull a lucky number. However, not only is not that way, those of you counting on legacy as a plus don’t want it that way! Well, you didn’t want it that way until your kid got rejected. </p>

<p>I feel for people who wanted their kid to have the same wonderful experience they had. I really do. But the entitlement? No.</p>