<p>A “scathing letter” is not a reasonable inquiry. If your H had tried a reasonable inquiry, perhaps the results would have been different. I’m just not surprised that the President of a university would decide that alum is more trouble than they are worth. </p>
<p>Further more, if I found out that the President of a university I was supporting was spending their time placating every parent who was angry that their legacy status did not pay off as they had hoped, I’d seriously consider dropping it.</p>
<p>Many Us (including my H’s alma mater) specifically state that legacy or “alumni relations” is a factor that is considered in admissions. We did not have extraordinary expectations. I’m surprised you don’t know this, pug.</p>
<p>I do know it. I do not respect or admire it which is why I do not sympathize with it. Especially not for the kind of alum that writes the President a scathing letter.</p>
<p>This gave me a good chuckle. I just happen to know a Stanford alum who went a bit nuts when his kid was rejected by Stanford, demanded an explanation, was extremely dissatisfied with it and tried to get the officers of the alumni association involved in having the decision reviewed because in his opinion his kid was clearly qualified to get into Stanford. Oh, and of course, he never gave another cent to Stanford.</p>
<p>jonri,
I have also heard of a Stanford All-American athlete alum whose kid was rejected. He was so mad, he mailed all of his Stanford trophies, awards and “stuff” to the Admissions Office and told them to keep it.</p>
<p>This is hilarious. Do you mean to tell me you don’t go back to businesses that treat you well? You don’t go back to the same hairdresser who squeezes you in when you’re a little late? You don’t go to the same car dealer or dry cleaner or butcher because you don’t care if they remember you or not? Every successful business in America is desperate for loyal customers, they go out of their way to promote the idea of loyalty. Why should colleges be any different?</p>
<p>This isn’t about buying your way into a school, this is about acknowledging loyalty and support. If my alma mater can fill up its entire class with qualified legacy applicants, I say great, go for it. If colleges and universities want to turn this into transactional business, “you give us tuition money-we give you access to an education”, fine, but don’t send me glossy brochures talking about tradition and family. </p>
<p>As far as my not being able to qualify for admission based on today’s academic standards, oddly enough that NEVER comes up during the annual fund phone calls.</p>
<p>*“Hi Mr H., this is Suzy Sorority from good old Whatsamatta U calling for the annual fund. Our records show that even though you clearly aren’t bright enough to get into WhatU today, we’re hoping you’re dull enough to agree to increase your donation this year.”</p>
<p>“Why of course Suzy. My mommy wrote out my credit card number in crayon. I hope I don’t mess up reading them. Take as much as you want.”*</p>
<p>The more I think about it, the smarter my neighbor gets. (see post 24)</p>
<p>I believe that alma maters give serious consideration to alumni children from families that give considerable support to the college or that have important prestige. Those kids might not have to live up to the exact same standards as the average applicant, though I know that schools won’t take a child that they think will not be able to keep up no matter what the circumstances since that’s a real disservice to everyone. After that, I think that all other alumni children are put into the general pool and if that child has what the college wants, he or she will get in. I wouldn’t be upset if my child didn’t get in because I think it’s important that your child go to a school where he or she is wanted and where he or she is a good fit.</p>
<p>Since H and I went to a mid-range public - had our kids applied and not been accepted we would have been shocked. Their stats would have put them in the top 5% of applicants. It was a perfectly fine place to go back in the day, in state, but not worth even considering for out of state.
What got us to cut off our regular contributions had to do with changes in our department at our alma mater, not who got in. H wrote a large check to the parallel department at the school where our D does attend, and forwarded a copy to the dean of arts and sciences at our alma mater (where he was on an alumni board). Don’t call us, we’ll call you from now on…</p>
<p>And every kid applying believes their application efforts, qualifications and fees entitle them to a personal response too. Cut to the chase – how much “alumni monetary support” have you given? Look, my kids will be double legacy (and my MIL too) at a top 20, but I’m only the typical alum who coughs up a few hundred bucks every now and then. Why would I delude myself that I’m “important” to my alma mater? If I were donating six- and seven-figures regularly, then I might expect a little you-scratch-my-back-and-I’ll-scratch-yours – but an everyday alum such as myself? They aren’t “obligated” to admit my kids.</p>
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<p>That would be too homogenous for my taste. I couldn’t support that. I want a school that exposes my kids to all kinds of diversity, not just upper-middle-class suburban kids whose parents went here too. Their job, IMO, is to find and nurture new talent, not perpetuate a certain pool who hit the jackpot X years ago.</p>
<p>I’d never have given a penny to my alma mater if it did that. I’m proud to say that both my Top 20 school and my son’s SLAC work hard to find and admit first generation college students.</p>
<p>I’m sorry to read the posters who think their alumni donations entitle their child a place in a college. If some kids with similar stats get accepted, and many kids with similar stats get rejected, then your kid is not entitled to an acceptance just because you give a few hundred bucks every year.</p>
<p>H’s letter was scathing, I won’t deny it. Actually, it was a heartfelt masterpiece, written by a doting father who was crushed by the fact that his (qualified) pride and joy and her full-pay tuition check were deemed unworthy by his beloved alma mater. I hardly think his response was unusual, however, nor would it, along with 80 years of alumni giving (yes, grandma and grandpa are alums,too) consitute enough “trouble” to warrant a brush-off by the President. Any President who cannot handle this situation with a little empathy and politics is not worth his pay-check, imo.</p>
<p>Lots of parents are crushed that their qualified pride and joy don’t get into a given college. I fully expect to be What makes your situation so different? </p>
<p>If you were a big-time alumni donor (by big I mean your name is on the science building), then that’s one thing. But just a regular, everyday alum? I don’t know about you, but my acceptance letter to my top 20 said “congratulations on your acceptance.” It didn’t say “congratulations on your future children’s acceptance.”</p>
<p>Unless the college explicitly promised that legacies had a 100% acceptance rate, then I don’t think they owe you a thing. I’d love to leverage our legacy if our kids so desire, but I don’t think I’m entitled or owed. And yes, even with MIL, H, and myself (both undergrad and part of grad) fully paid.</p>
<p>I don’t donate to my college now, so there’s nothing to stop giving. I was angry with the 2 schools that rejected my D, and I didn’t have any connection with them. So yes, I would be angry. How could any school reject my wonderful child? She of course is very happy where she is and can’t picture herself anywhere else, and may end up at one of the 2 rejectors for grad school. I’m the one with the grudge!</p>
<p>Our D’s situation is no different than any other double legacy applicant at a U which specifically uses legacy status as a criterion, and is more than qualified statistically, and has two generations of alums who donated several thousands of dollars per year. I am quite confident that all other applicants and their parents who were in the same position as we are, were just as crushed. Why do you find our reaction surprising? I don’t think it is unreasonable for us to expect a brief explanation under our circumstances, that is all.</p>
What makes your situation so different? </p>