Would you be willing to critique my college essay?

<p>Hi, I will PM the essay to you if you agree to edit it. </p>

<p>The prompt that I used was "Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family."</p>

<p>I wrote about my Ebay business that I started when I was 12. My application isn't all that impressive so I need a killer essay. Thank you!</p>

<p>I’ll help you with yours if you’ll read mine?:)</p>

<p>Lostinmymind, sorry I am not comfortable with a student reading my essay but I would be happy to critique yours. PM me.</p>

<p>Anyone else?</p>