Would you restrict your child from going to a school because of distance from home?

Parents Forum
241

<p>BTW, the school does also send kids to the military academies. This may be yet another bad example (as apparently I didn't explain well before) but you might compare the school to some of the strong NE college prep academies. I doubt too many kids from Exeter or Andover go to a community college.</p>

<p>And given the strength of the college admissions dept at our kids school, each kid is going to be helped to find schools that are good fits for them. They do such a good job of helping to hone in on the best blend of "reaches","likelies" and "fits", that it has, fortunately, never yet happened that someone didn't get into any school.</p>

242

<p>I ended up roughly 4,000 miles from home and I couldn't be happier with my choice. I am sure my parents have had to adjust but they are also happy with my choice. They never put distance limitations on me.</p>

243

<p>


But apparently not a pre-professional arts program? I say that because my daughter graduated from an arts high school, and one aspect of the excellent arts-oriented advising they had there was an ability to explore other avenues of entry into a chosen art than college. A kid who is serious about performing arts might do better to try to develop their talent professionally immediately upon high school graduation, or to hone their talent in a career-oriented program rather than college. My daughter attended a pre-professional ballet studio when she was younger, and so we are very aware that a prospective ballerina who goes to college is pretty much giving up hope of a ballet career; one reason that colleges tend to focus on modern dance rather than ballet is that professional female ballet dancers usually apprentice to top companies in their late teens -- the 22 year old just starting out is at a distinct disadvantage. No one cares whether an actor or filmmaker has a college degree or where they got it from. Of course there are also excellent college theater and film-making programs -- but they aren't the only option that the arts student has.</p>

<p>I realize that your kids' school may very well have weeded out the pre-professional types of students before they even applied -- that is, if the kid's dream is to be on Broadway, maybe they don't enroll in a college prep academy in the first place. But the point is... the kid whose next stop after high school is a series of auditions may be doing exactly the right thing at the right time for their career.</p>

244

<p>
[quote]
But apparently not a pre-professional arts program?

[/quote]
Is this a question or a statement? It is too early in the morning for me to tell...
If you are interested in reading about what programs and courses the school offers, calmom, plese feel free to PM me and I will send you the link to the school's website. I am not an expert in the arts, so I cannot say whether their program is "preprofessional". But if your intent is only to attack or criticize without sufficient information to so do, please direct your comments elsewhere.
and this
[quote]
No one cares whether an actor or filmmaker has a college degree or where they got it from

[/quote]
is an overgeneralization. Not completely accurate. Again, it is early in the morning so maybe I am misreading the tone. It sounds a tad mean-spirited to me. Just my opinion.</p>

245

<p>calmom-
I am still trying to figure out your statement about actors or filmmakers. If by the statement "no one cares.." you mean the general population of theater-goers and movie-goers, perhaps the audience doesn't care <em>as much</em> where the actor or filmmaker trained (though many people do read the bios in the back of the theater playbills to see just this info - like, for eg. that Meryl Streep trained at Vassar and Yale Drama school). If you are referring in the statement "no one cares" to the people in the industry who help launch the budding actors/fimmmakers careers, then I don't think your statement is accurate. I agree with your statement that there are other avenues to take, but to say that "no one cares" is a bit extreme, IMO.</p>

<p>I am glad your son went to work for several years before he returned to college. That sounds like that was a good option for him. And I am glad your dau explored her dance options. Here, if someone was truly going to pursue a career as a professional dancer, in addition to participating in the many theater opportunities in this large metropolitan area, they might choose insead of a liberal arts college prep school to attend one of the magnet programs available in the city that specializes in training of the performing arts. And fwiw, I think a lot of the kids from one of our local performing arts magnet high schools go to.. is it Oklahoma, I think, for college?? If I am remembering correctly, it is a college with an excellent performing arts 4 year fine arts/performing arts program. So even though they come from a specialized "preprofessional" arts high school, they go on to college. Not everyone makes it big in the theater and becomes a star. Its a good idea to have that degree. Just my opinion. (Well, I guess Kenan Thompson made the right choice to leave our HS many yrs ago and head to NYC. He succeeded. )</p>

246

<p>To Calmom...not entirely true....</p>

<p>While it is true that a number of musicians, artists or actors go straight into the professional world without college, most realize the imporance of a college education, and will put their professional aspirations on hold for this sole purpose.</p>

247

<p>I'm going on a 12000 mile trip accross continents to go to college, I'd say my parents set no distinctions.</p>

248

<p>karan</p>

<p>Where are you going?</p>

249

<p>From Hong Kong to Emory in Atlanta.</p>

<p>PS: I meant to say restrictions not distinctions lol.</p>

250

<p>Congratulations and good luck! I've heard great things about Emory.</p>

251

<p>karan-
Congrats! PM me if you have q's about Emory or Atlanta.</p>

252

<p>
[quote]
It was a BIG deal a few yrs ago when one girl wanted to go into the Americorps program and not to college. It was the year my older s graduated. The school does NOT want to lose its reputation of getting 100% of its students into 4 yr colleges.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>jym, you are correct that we really know nothing about this school, other than what you've told us, and therefore have no basis to judge it.</p>

<p>It seems clear that all of us are very protective of our own kids, and even all kids in general. Look how people immediately questioned parents who they thought were 'too involved' and defended the rights of the kids to decide for themselves where they want to go to school and what they want to do with their lives.</p>

<p>So, it's understandable that your above statement would raise some concerns among us concerned parents.</p>

<p>If I were paying big bucks to send my son to some high school that boasted 100% acceptance rates, I sure would want them to deliver on their promise and get him prepared.</p>

<p>However, if my son decided, upon graduation of said school, that he had changed his mind and didn't want to go to college after all, then I would want that school to respect his decision.</p>

<p>So what it boils down to is:</p>

<p>There is a difference between preparing students to attend college to the point that they are guaranteed acceptance</p>

<p>and</p>

<p>insisting that they do go to college.</p>

<p>I think it's fine to boast 100% acceptance OF THOSE WHO APPLY. But those who choose to not apply to a college should be respected.</p>

<p>Maybe they are. You did say that you don't really know about those who didn't go on to college.</p>

<p>I'm just trying to explain why some comments were made that might have appeared judgmental. I think they were based on your above statement which seemed to indicate that this student was really given a hard time about her choice.</p>

253

<p>I realize that my using capital letters in a previous post may have given the wrong impression. My error. And the words "dictum" and "policy" were also mine, as I couldn't think of other words to better describe the school's procedures. But obviously it sent the wrong message. The school is structured, but nurturing and caring. It is proud that 100% of its graduating srs are accepted to 4 yr institutions. Why shouldn't they be? Again, the kids may choose not to go, but they are sitting with acceptances. I for one prefer that the kids are expected to apply to colleges of their ability level in their senior year. I'd think it would be much worse if a kid who, at the outset of their senior yr, thought they wanted to move to NY or LA to follow their dream, and then later in the year changed their minds... after it was too late to apply to college for the coming fall. These are big life decisions being made by teenagers. They often change their minds. At least this way their options are open, not closed. </p>

<p>Again, the school DOES NOT insist that a student GO to college. They expect them to APPLY to at most 4-6 colleges, that include schools that they are likely to be accepted to. No one can MAKE someone go to college. They can expect students to follow the procedures. The issue of college is first broached with the kids early in their HS career. The school procedures are no "news" to a rising senior. If a student is ambivalent about their post HS plans, there is ample time to address this with the school counselors. I for one find myself fortunate that the kids attend a school where the counselors (grade counselors and college counselors) are so available and supportive in each student's HS and post HS journey. I've been reading other threads where the counselors have been replaced 2 and 3 times in a year, and the kids have no continuity, and no one who knows them writing their letters of recc. That is a true shame, IMO. Glad not to have to deal with that.</p>

254

<p>Thanks for the clarification. I figured it was something like that. It does sound like a wonderful school and your kids are fortunate to be able to go there. I'm also glad to hear that if a student were to change his/her mind, for whatever reason and at whatever point, his/her decision will be respected.</p>

<p>
[quote]
I for one prefer that the kids are expected to apply to colleges of their ability level in their senior year. I'd think it would be much worse if a kid who, at the outset of their senior yr, thought they wanted to move to NY or LA to follow their dream, and then later in the year changed their minds... after it was too late to apply to college for the coming fall. These are big life decisions being made by teenagers. They often change their minds. At least this way their options are open, not closed.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I totally agree with this. In fact, that is EXACTLY what I told my own son. I will not insist he go to college, but I DID insist that he APPLY to college. (Well actually, he wanted to anyway so it wasn't an issue in his case. But I would have insisted that he at least apply even if he had thought he didn't want to go. No way would I let him make such an irrevocable decision at 17. It's not pushy to make sure your kid has OPTIONS. It's only pushy to insist on WHICH option he takes.) That way, he can always change his mind and not go, but will have the option of going. Whereas if he didn't apply at all, it would be too late if he changed his mind. I want him to keep his options open. He knows full well that, even if he were to win a full ride scholarship to an awesome school, he could still opt out if that's what he wanted to do. I can't imagine him doing that, but it's important that he know the freedom is there.</p>

255

<p>Exactly, Lealdragon. Glad I was able to clarify. You are saying EXACTLY what the school's philosophy is. In fact they just emailed us with a reminder of the upcoming local CACAC national college fair and the upcoming spring fair at one of the other local private schools (not to be confused with the one the school itself hosts every fall).</p>

<p>So now perhaps we should redirect the topic to one I brought up indirectly-- should parents (or schools) limit the number of schools a student applies to? State of Calif. schools aside, (where one application blitzes virtually all the UC schools), exactly how many schools should a student apply to? If a student does his/her HW correctly, they should be able to narrow it down. Again, our school helps the kids target appropriate (and of course reach) schools, and gets all students in with kids applying to no more than 6. It works. Is this reasonable? Is it a good idea? Are parents the ones encouraging/requiring/pushing/allowing (fill in the adjective) their kids to apply to a gazillion schools? Would this whole process be a <em>little</em> less crazy if we could limit the # of schools a student applies to? Should we? This is a hypothetical q, but it is actually possible to do, if only CollegeBoard or ACT would limit the # of schools they release scores to (HAHAHAHAHA). I guess we could let students apply to a ton of schools that don't require standardized test scores, but if we are looking predominantly at the schools that do require them, how many is too many? Would we reduce the stress these kids are putting on themselves, and reduce the competition if we limited the # of schools? I am not proposing a specific #. Any suggestions? Our schools 4-6 rule works for this population. It might not work for all. That said, not all the students are strong students. My s's list is currently at about 10 or so. He will, by next August, be expected to get it down to 4-6.</p>

256

<p>I would have hated it if my son was limited by his school in number of apps. He is applying to 10 from an original list of 20. I would not have had a problem with his public HS charging a fee per app over a certain limit.</p>

257

<p>bethievt-
Actually, our school does allow that, but to discourage excessive apps, they charge $50 per app. for any over 6. As I mentioned above, the first 4 are guaranteed to be complete and out the door w/in 30 days of submitting the materials to the college counselors. If a student wants to apply to 5 or 6, these last 1-2 are (supposedly.. I always wondered if they really adhered to this or just scared us with this ) completed after everyones' apps (up to 4) have been completed and sent out. I assume any beyond 6 would be handled in a similar fashion.</p>

258

<p>re. 4 applicatons or less ... I have posted my view many times that for kids applying to top 20 type schools that submitting 10-12 applications may be a good strategy ... and therefor I believe limiting applications to 4-6 greatly reducing the odds that they actually get into a top 20 shool. A 6-7 application limit policy might make sense to me for for all the kids other than those shooting for the top 20 type schools; espcecially with the workaround for those apply to more (we'll process your application but it will get down last (but on-time)). To me the 4 application limit is HUGE diservice to the top students in the class.</p>

259

<p>Whereas I question the blind goal of getting into a Top 20 school unless one is looking for a label instead of something approximating a good fit. Might half a dozen schools in the Top 20 be a good fit? Very likely. Would all 20 schools in the Top 20 be good fits? Exceedingly unlikely...just as it's exceedingly likely that there would be good fits that, heaven forfend, are not "Top 20." Feh.</p>

<p>I'd be interested in meeting the student who was a good match for Duke, MIT, Yale, Cornell, and U/Chicago.</p>

260

<p>For me ... it's pretty easy to get to 10-12 schools; it's pretty hard to end up at 4. </p>

<p>First, 2 safeties and 2 matches ... whoops I already blew my limit of 4 applications. After 4 safties and matches it's not hard to find 6-8 top 20 type schools to which to apply. I'm not a big fan of cutting off options early in the application process; I'd prefer to let the student have until spring of their senior year to make final decisions on things like big/small or college town/or city if they are not sure earlier in the application process.</p>

<p>So hypothetically if I was applying to school now ... top 20 material interested in math, physics, and engineering ... the goal wasn't to get into a "top 20 school" ... but I was interested in going to school with the highest academic cohort group and where it would be harder for me to slack off. So my list might be something like this ...<br>
1) safety #1
2) safety #2
3) match #1
4) match #2
--- now I'm into the tough admits ---
5) MIT
6) Caltech
7) Cornell
8) Penn
9) UMich (out of state)
10) Columbia</p>

<p>I can't imagine this list being 4 schools long and possibly looking like a list I'd recommend to anyone applying to MIT and Caltech ... it would be way too short.</p>

<p>(One final thought ... for my family we could afford one car trip for visits ... which came after I knew to which schools I had been accepted. Then is when I was ready to really apply "fit" to shrink my list).</p>