<p>My first practice try at an SAT essay, actually done in 25 minutes. I'm pasting my handwritten manuscript below. If you find my handwriting prohibitively terrible, please tell me b/c it will be helpful to know. Thanks!</p>
<p>Prompt: What motivates people to change?</p>
<p>Page one:
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<p>Page two:
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<p>If the links are slow or you simply cannot read words on the images, tell me and I'll just retype.</p>
<p>id say 3-4. The handwriting is somewhat legible. I suggest you go slower next time to improve the legibility. </p>
<p>Also, you dont have a conclusion. Try to make your examples more concise. You tend to be a little(not much.. just a little) bit redundant. </p>
<p>Better transitions between paragraphs( dont do simple ones like First and second..) could help your essay a lot more clear.</p>
<p>Also, the main thing is to always relate your detail back to your thesis. Those supporting details in your essay need to be related back to thesis.</p>
<p>Overall, its a good start. I think if you follow the above and read some examples of essays, you should reach your goal!</p>
<p>Good Luck!</p>
<p>Write two full pages.</p>
<p>I would score it in the 3-4 range as well.</p>
<p>If your thesis is that people are motivated to change to restore homeostasis, you have not provided any examples. Your examples, both of the them personal, support the thesis that people change to receive a reward or avoid punishment.</p>
<p>Either change your thesis or your examples. To keep your thesis, first give a historical example of the lengths people go to to avoid change and maintain the status quo, such as neighborhood opposition to "different" people moving in, or the resistance of Americans to the metric system. A second example should show how a major change occurred to restore homeostasis, rather than to obtain a reward or avoid pleasure, such as the waves of immigration to the US, moving from a place that was life-threatening (definitely not in homeostasis), to a place that promised not a specific reward, but the opportunity to live life safely, fed, and healthy (definitely homeostasis).</p>
<p>Worry first about what you are saying and make sure it ties together. Don't worry about length, worry about completeness. I could probably write an essay in a page and a half, but I'm good :). You'll probably need about two pages to cover everything.</p>
<p>You seem to have a good handle on paragraph structure and transition. Don't worry about pulling in a bunch of fancy words and such.</p>
