<p>@Kualakoala, how old are you? I’d put Duke and Emory in different tiers myself (close to each other) but consider both to be good schools, and in the real world, you’ll find that almost no one (outside of maybe the Northeast, where Duke has a much stronger alumni presence) would think more or less of someone if they came from Duke or Emory (or vice versa).</p>
<p>In this case (for a pre-dent), the difference between Duke and Emory is immaterial. The difference in cost, however, between UF and Duke/Emory would be large and material.</p>
I know some parents are this as well. Also, if the kid is in some competitive program/major and does not do well, some parents may regret the decision to shell out so much money.</p>
<p>I always think that if a student likely does not have what it takes to “succeed” at, say, one of HPYS and he or she will be, say, premed or prelaw, it is better not to attend such a school. It may be fine if the kid’s goal is to get a degree in any major and he does not care much about the grades (like some of the “rich” kids may do.)</p>
<p>The problem is that often there are so many other opportunities and activities beyond just the sticker price – son wants to go on some sort of service trip abroad over spring break; daughter wants to take extra courses during the summer that are not offered during the school year, etc. </p>
<p>I make a big deal out of pointing out these extra programs while touring the affordable schools. Pointing to the poster of the summer program at the university-owned villa in Italy: “You know, if you went here, we could probably afford to send you on that. . …” etc. My kids are very well aware of the ways in which life at an affordable school and life at a really expensive school will be different. (Kiddo is having roommate issues and my husband says, “You know, I think we could probably swing a single room next year if you’re really having a hard time with this,” etc.)</p>
<p>Agree 100% momzoe. D wanted to go to large oos school that would have cost me an extra 30k plus per year over her instate option. She also wants to join a sorority and spend a year abroad. When I made it clear that oos mean no sorority and no year abroad, she quickly became satisfied with the instate option. I’m happy to spend the money for the extra stuff. She will grow as a person. What I cannot stomach is paying 10 times more for history 101 than I need pay if she stays instate.</p>
<p>I think it also depends on the kid and what type of trade- offs they are willing to make. My D isn’t a bloom where planted type of kid so fit, not prestige, was the driving factor in college selection. We both felt she should attend a small LAC. For various reasons, I had little saved for her college. And because of a step parent situation, she wasn’t getting FinAid. The only way I could make it work was if she got a certain amount of merit aid and we sold our house. I planned to downsize anyway after she finished college (she’s the baby) so it was simply a matter of moving it up a few years. I wasn’t willing to give up our retirement savings, nor incur a lot of debt. I laid out the options and what would be required of her (maintaining scholarship, earning her spending money, fewer extras etc, and not coming home to the “home” she knows). Both of us were willing to make the necessary sacrifices. But if her dream school had cost us 50k or 60k a year, it would have been off the table. Each family needs to set their own priorities and determine the level of sacrifice with which they’re comfortable. Sometimes one has to adjust the “dream.” </p>
<p>@Overtheedge, the good news is that New College of Florida is pretty affordable even OOS and there are a decent number of LACs that will give good merit to a kid with the right attributes. </p>
<p>@PurpleTitan - She never looked at New College - but good to know. And yes, her college list was largely structured around the likelihood of her receiving merit. It is fortunate that a lot of LACs offer merit aid! I think the difficulty sometimes comes in getting enough merit to fill the gap. The full tuition/full ride awards are pretty competitive. There are lot of schools that offer smaller merit awards. The key for us was finding schools she loved with enough merit to bring the annual COA under 30-35k. Of course, for each family and student it’s a balancing act - what one is looking for in a school vs the net cost to that student and ability to pay. </p>
<p>Yes. We also told her that while undergrad would be primarily picked up by us, that she was on her own for grad school, since we’d be putting her brother through undergrad.</p>