<p>Andi, this other kid, not your son, just spent 2 % of his remaining time on this planet repeating his senior year so that he can go to a name brand school. His problem is that what happens from here on out depends upon the student and not the school. Your son is in the passing lane, has caught this kid that he used to be trailing by a year, and in a good LAC is going to leave him behind. Your son is the kind that LACs love to teach. I would work on Oberlin and Swat WLs.</p>
<p>Or to feel that he was somehow more entitled to the place at Yale than this other child. Sorry, but that's what I'm hearing here. That an achievement in academics or music is more deserving than one in athletics. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an athlete nor or my children. I am just a realist who understands what these schools must do to keep the balance. I also believe that being great at a sport requires exceptional effort on the part of most and can be a very good indication of future success, something the ivies look for.</p>
<p>Lots of kids work really hard all of their livies and don't get into an ivy. To be bitter about an athlete or a URM or development candidate is just self defeating.</p>
<p>The Yale wasn't good enough comments are just pathetic. Let's be adults!</p>
<p>College acceptance of athletes with lower stats over vals, sals, etc. has been happening for years now. About ten years ago, 3 top students and one athlete (without many honors or APs) from our high school applied EA to a HYPS. The 3 top students grumbled about how they'd feel if the athlete were accepted over them. The 3 top students were accepted EA and the athlete denied but later accepted to a different HYPS for his sport. However, the end of the story is that academically it did not work out so well for this student as professional school plans did not work out. Many of us speculate the school was a fit for athletics but definitely not for this student academically. Who would've predicted this ending??</p>
<p>"Yahoo, everyone stands a chance now"<br>
Are you serious???? This kid is not in the least interested in learning. All he wants to do is play his sport. It's his parents who have the $$ to send him off to a private school and who are only interested in the prestige of the university name. They couldn't stand the thought of him going to an average university. It wouldn't be so bad if the school didn't have the reputation of being an institution that portrayed itself as accepting students with a high degree of intellect. Let's cut the hypocrisy. I bet there are "adequate" athletes in his sport that have intelligence who were rejected because Yale wanted this top athlete from a moneyed family. </p>
<p>"Besides, knowledge isn't in just grades and standardized tests, awards; it's what other peopler don't know about. For me, learning is seeing or hearing things I've never had the chance to experience. Students that make Ds or are brats yet can run a football field or hit home runs are just other fascinating facets of life to discover."
Oh really?? I'd be very curious to see what type of classes this kid takes. Do you really think that he's suddenly going to be interested in academics? Even John MacEnroe joked about himself taking "underwater basket weaving" while at Stanford.</p>
<p>The Yale wasn't good enough comments are just pathetic. Let's be adults!</p>
<p>I'm trying to be optimistic about it. It's not that big of a deal, really, and the best way to approach it is to maintain self-composure and look at alternatives. He'll be just fine.</p>
<p>"Oh really?? I'd be very curious to see what type of classes this kid takes. Do you really think that he's suddenly going to be interested in academics? Even John MacEnroe joked about himself taking "underwater basket weaving" while at Stanford."</p>
<p>Regardless of what classes he takes, you can still draw information from his background and extracurriculars. I think John McEnroe is fascinating. However, aside from his temper and personality, I think you could learn a lot about tennis and determination in that area.</p>
<p>UCLAri, the best way to look at it is based on reality. </p>
<p>Andi, Yale would have not accepted this student if they were worried about his ability to make it through. Given their graduation stats, they guess right almost every time. They are not expecting him to be one of the most intellectual contributors and they don''t care if he takes every gut offered. Contributions to any institution come in all different forms. </p>
<p>Would Stanford accept McEnroe again? You betcha!!</p>
<p>Andi, there is a lot of this going on. My son sort of falls in this example. He spent 2 years at a prep school as a C student. We moved, couldn't get him into an equivalent school which was upsetting and he ended up at a grade inflated school where he got straight A's doing little work. He ended up with options that his peers from the old prep school did not get with their grades. And some are still sore about it. Yeah, it was unfair, but it was also unfair to him to be torn from his old school and having to go to a high school he hated. The outcome could have been very different too, there was no guarantee. There are some very bitter folks who sent their kids for PG at prep schools who lost the gamble as well. But sometimes you hit the jackpot as that kid did. And there are courses at any school where there is this athletic component where he could get through and, yes, he will learn something. He may even end up getting better and more interesting job offers that pay a lot more than his academic peers. My son, an athlete who just got through college as an English major with mainly C's has a better job than most of his peers because of athletic ties. Very unfair. But that was where he spent his time and it paid off. He could just as easily be cleaning locker rooms though as some of his athletic peers are. It is a chance to take and sometimes it pays off. But I can tell you the odds are not good. It is not a venue that I would pick. It generally picks you. I have one little one who is clearly a standout athlete, and though I well know the up side of nurturing and supporting this talent, I know that it is a crapshoot and the time and headache that it involves makes me hesitate, having gone through this once already. Many families got little out of this investment. The time spent on academic pursuits has a much safer and surer return, and I would pick it every time. But, yes, certain specialty skills are valued and rewarded. </p>
<p>When my brother was at Duke, there was a brougha (which comes up regularly) about the lack of academic qualities in the basketball players. A campus group did a very thorough poll in hopes of getting a vote to eliminate the high powered program. And they were very biased as to what they wanted as the results. To their chagrin, even the current students like the idea of a national level basketball team despite the academic concessions necessary to have those students. MUch of Duke's allure is based on that team's success. Most of the most highly desired school have strong sports programs that they support. If the highly academic minds started to eschew the schools that did this, it would start a revolution/evolution that might eliminate some of the sports impact.</p>
<p>Swarthmore got rid of their football program a few years ago and is still going strong, but did pay for it in a drop in male applicants and certain type of candidates. Still a top school, and there are a number of school that have made this decision as well. For those who don't believe in this athlete favoritsm, I suggest they avoid these schools that give such preference. You do know that at HPY, the hardest thing about the school is getting in, which is NOT the case with some other colleges?</p>
<p>They might indeed accept him again....he still has two years more to graduate.</p>
<p>*UCLAri, the best way to look at it is based on reality. *</p>
<p>The reality of the fact is that he didn't get in. What are you going to do? That's the way the cookie crumbles.</p>
<p>What you shouldn't do is tear yourself apart with counterfactuals and "what ifs." The point is moot. Fin. </p>
<p>Now he just needs to figure out his alternatives, weigh them all, and see what's the best one. Pining over Yale isn't going to get you through college.</p>
<p>Andi, if he is dead set on Yale, he ought to work his butt off at his soon-to-be-enrolled-in undergraduate institution and transfer. </p>
<p>Who knows, he might find out that [insert school here] is actually a better fit.<br>
And if so, good! Yale is not the alpha and the omega in the world of education.</p>
<p>Andi, to be honest, your plight (really your son's) is a testament to the fact that you are not dealing with reality. I am so sorry that this has happened to you both, but to recover, reality must be faced! Most excellent, high achieving students (who are non athletes, legacies,URM, development, first generation, low income) do not get into top 10 colleges. So many are also impressive in various arts. There are just so many of them that it's simply not possible. In an ideal world every hard working kid would be rewarded by being admitted to his dream school, but it just can't happen. There would be no dream schools without these special populations. It's pretty basic.</p>
<p>He's not dead set on Yale. He's going to find someplace else to go. He's basically disillusioned and disgusted that this kid he's known since about 2nd grade, who has never exhibited one iota of interest in his classes has gotten into this 'institution of higher learning.' It seems to me that our universities would do well to encourage and support the students who are truly desirous of learning and have shown more than 'one year' of proof of this. Maybe that's why our country is in the shape it's in today.</p>
<p>In the great words of Forrest Gump..."It happens."</p>
<p>There are unfair facets to the process, but at least it's not the 1950s where Harvard and Yale were full of WASPs who didn't have to bother.</p>
<p>Andi, there's something more important than GETTING in....there's also the matter of STAYING in. Don't feel bad about that kid - chances are he is going to have a heck of a time staying in at Yale.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, your son is going to find his niche and blow the socks off of that other kid. Just hang in there.</p>
<p>It's so un PC on my count, but really Andi, you're not helping your son by not helping him understand the reality of what happened here. If he believes that admissions is based on academic and musical talent, he will have to believe he's a loser!! Clearly, he's not. But he is a victim of believing that that's the case.</p>
<p>Andi, I'm skeptical. Remember Casper's mom, in another thread - Casper is the girl going to UC Irvine, but her mom is running around and telling all her friends that she's going to UCLA. Unless this kid is exceptional in a sport that is very important to Yale, it is very possible that the mom has just sold you a bill of goods... and son just hasn't been accepted anywhere that the family is willing to brag about. </p>
<p>I don't know how you could check on this -- but it is definitely one of those claims I'd check out before repeating. I'm not saying it can't be true... just that the kid's parent is a casual acquaintance, and I've run into a lot of people in my life who lied about where they or their children went to school. Wishful thinking sometimes gets the better of people. </p>
<p>I don't doubt that prep school kids have an advantage over public school kids at Yale, or that kids who are recruited for athletics are also favored -- and I have no idea whether this friend is a legacy or has a rich uncle underwriting the cost of a new building at Yale -- but I don't think that Yale is going to overlook a high school record - and I kind of doubt that prep school college counselors and coaches are going out on a limb for a kid who has only been there a year. So just check this one out, carefully........</p>
<p>Carolyn, while I think most of your posts are right on, you could not be more wrong here. This kid will get through Yale just fine along with almost every one of their other athletes. Almost no one Yale takes flunks out, they're not stupid. Will he get into Harvard B School? Probably not. Nor is it likely he'll be Phi Beta Kappa. But he'll graduate and be recruited by one of the many companies that believe a winning athlete is an asset. </p>
<p>Get a grip here!! There is a reason schools and then companies want these kids, they are achievers whether you personally value their achievements or not.</p>
<p>The next shock will be who companies hire during on campus recruitment. Star athletes get amazing jobs!!</p>
<p>Zagat, you know, I think you are saying something very true and very important. It is hard enough on our kids when they face disappointment. As parents, it is important that we put our own feelings of disappointment (and yes, sometimes, anger) aside and help them come to terms with what has happened and move on. Perhaps, in the end, that really is what good parenting is all about.</p>