If I did not have skin in the game at Cornell, I would report this 100%. Yale is small enough and the number of internationals even smaller so they could cross check for sure. Hopefully the other schools will do it or at least be alerted to it. With so few internationals accepted, it isn’t hard to isolate that group and check the names anyway.
2 Likes
Relax. They do cross check. The applicant will be rescinded if admitted. And black listed. They compare databases all the time.
2 Likes
@srparent15 same here.
Sorry about your son! While my son did not apply to Yale, he did apply to a different Ivy and I have one at an Ivy already. We didn’t use a college counselor or anything like that but we did a ton of research. I also have 4 kids and he is my youngest. I learned a lot after my first kid who also didn’t get into his ED school which was Carnegie Mellon but still got into a top 5 CS program. I laugh when I look back at his Common App though when we had no idea what we were doing.
Unfortunately, while it’s great that our kids have opportunities to take AP classes etc., they also want to see 5’s on those tests. I have one kid at UT (I assume you’re from the Austin area) and she is amazed at how many kids there have great GPAs and SAT or ACT but not great AP scores. A friend of hers had a 100% in a class but a 1 on the AP test. There is some disconnect there. Colleges outside of Texas may be well aware of that too. Second, the writing. I don’t trust high school teachers at all for essay writing for colleges. They are not college admissions officers. They don’t know what a great essay for college is. Afterall, and no offense, they’re just English teachers. (I’m a teacher too, I don’t mind saying that). They aren’t college Professors and they have no idea what Yale or any other college is truly looking for. My husband, an attorney is a phenomenal writer, but I would absolutely never have him advise my kids on their college essays because while they would be grammatically correct, he just doesn’t know what the colleges today want to see. That may have been one of the issues with your son. Additionally, there are thousands of well qualified students applying to all of these schools. It is a crapshoot. We all think our kids are the best and that doesn’t mean they aren’t, but when looking at 8,000 kids something needs to stand out that is different than the next. My daughters had something specifically unique about them that they did outside of school. They didn’t start a charity or do a million volunteer hours. Most kids have the latter and I don’t think that’s so vital to being accepted, but they did find something they could do. This kid, my 4th, I’m not sure he necessarily has that extra thing. He has his own small business, so maybe that will be it and he has great thoughtful essays because what you think he is writing about when you begin them, is not at all what he is writing about and it’s the job of the reader to get the theme of his essays and a good essay usually makes it easy to do so.
Your son will find the right place for him and truly be happy and know it. Trust me it will all work out, it usually does. Not that it’s any consolation but my husband was also rejected from Yale, but accepted to 2 (maybe 3 I can’t remember) Ivy Leagues and then went on to go to one of the top law schools in the country having the choice between Stanford or U-Chicago. So it does all work out. He is still a little pissy even today at Yale though all these years later, but your son will find his place and 3 months from now, he will be excited for what his future holds!
4 Likes
@atxmomof4 I’m sorry about your son. @Mwfan1921 has shared valuable advice. I would recommend that you post in this thread for those who have been denied or deferred ED/EA Were You EA/ED Denied or Deferred? Get All Your Admissions Questions: ASK ANYTHING! - #3 by honesttalks Questions are being answered by experienced college admissions coaches from @IvyScholars
Also, unlike Ivy League schools, many small liberal arts colleges do not require additional essays or have minimal supplements that shouldn’t be too time-intensive. Added plus for your son: almost all small colleges have far fewer male applicants, so the acceptance rates are higher for male applicants, e.g., Vassar’s recent male acceptance rate has been around 30% vs. 20% or lower for female applicants.
4 Likes
Same here. My daughter was rejected and applied rest optional. Top of her class. Strong EC’s. Very strong art portfolio. I think the decision stung me but she wasn’t phased. She’s already been accepted into her #2 with a scholarship. Good luck to your daughter!
2 Likes
I’m sorry you don’t understand my post. I’m sorry you don’t know that Yale does indeed have access to verify all self-reported scores with the appropriate testing agencies (self reporting is your permission for their access at any time to your scores, if Yale wishes to take time to confirm these on their own). Perhaps read the Yale website for accurate information before you make untrue statements as though you know something to be fact. In my son’s case, Yale did request and obtain his scores themselves (thus he would not have had to officially submit them because Yale took the time and effort to confirm his scores for themselves). I am also sorry for your rudeness. My post was not rude to you. Please know 7,939 is not, in fact, “tens of thousands.” And of this number, roughly 61% were either accepted or granted deferment. (61% is not “very few” as you insist). It is, instead, “most.” Most EA applicants were either accepted or deferred. This is a fact…it is not my “feelings.” Your comment is altogether unnecessary and insensitive. You distorted my post, were dramatic and unkind - and you’ve entirely missed my point. My exhaustion and worry I expressed was specifically that I do not have the energy to go through 10 more rounds of similar rejection from similar schools in this questionable process for many months to come of RD - not that I can’t “get over” or “move on” about Yale. We might lose our house we couldn’t yet sell and our good credit if we don’t get jobs again soon after already having to relocate our family for a needed career move that was lost almost immediately due to Covid - in less than one year of having to relocate our family. Pardon me if I’m struggling here to “move on” in a way you’d like best. In general I am forced to focus on other things and my 4 kids than guiding my son through many months to come of this process of begging colleges. Its not a matter of me not being willing to support my son. Take your rudeness and please go away.
1 Like
was anyone else deferred/rejected as a legacy? my family is a little unhappy with me 
1 Like
Friend’s legacy son was deferred last year and accepted RD. Sorry that your family isn’t being understanding.
3 Likes
I am surprised by the number of people here (mainly parents) who are surprised and upset that their awesome kid got rejected or deferred, and are now looking for alternate schools. That’s crazy. The first thing you should know when applying to Ivys is that they reject perfect candidates all the time. You definitely need backup options when applying to Ivys.
29 Likes
I am sure your son is disappointed but he should not give up hope. This is just one application. Schools with single digit acceptance rates like Yale will reject many more qualified students than they accept. There simply isn’t room for them all. You shouldn’t assume that your son made any mistakes in how he presented himself in his application. Nobody really knows why a student might be rejected at one highly competitive school and accepted by another. There is no harm in trying for other reaches if your son has a balanced list and is willing to try.
You asked for suggestions of schools where your child might have more predictable outcomes. I recommend that you start a new thread that describes his academic and extracurricular interests, possible major, his GPA/scores, budget restrictions, geographical preferences, etc. People here are very knowledgable and many are eager to help.
Best of luck to you and your family.
4 Likes
Wow so sorry. Did not mean to offend or to minimize your feelings. Truly. This is a stressful process for everyone. But yes tens of thousands apply across the board (was not referring to only EA). And vast majority will be rejected. It stinks. But it is the reality. My sister works for Yale admissions. Self reporting is self reporting. It is not giving permission and requests for score reporting can only come from the student. So unless they asked him to provide the official score report they won’t see it. Only the student can grant permission to obtain official reports from college board. Perhaps they reached out to his counselor to confirm? She says they do this often. My mom has stage 4 cancer diagnosed two months ago and cant afford the treatment she needs so I understand how hard times are. I wish she could care about my situation like you do for your kid, but she is only focused on seeing me graduate high school. Your son is lucky to have a healthy caring family. Did not mean to be rude as you say. Was Just trying to provide a reality and facts. Good luck to your amazing son and God bless.
25 Likes
I do not think you came off rude at all. So sorry about your mom.
17 Likes
You guys are all so salty. Congrats on Yale!
4 Likes
Thank you. I re-read what I wrote and I’m not sure what I said that was bad, but I guess parents can be very sensitive during this stressful time. The son sounds great and hopefully the parent isn’t conveying that same anger in front of him because he would feel horrible for disappointing his parents. I know I would. Times are so hard, we should all be kind to each other! And perspective is so important…it has been for me these last 2 months.
11 Likes
So sorry to hear about your mother. Praying for your family. I wish you well in your college journey.
1 Like
As a parent myself, I do not think you were insensitive. I think it is just hard for us parents sometimes to think no kid can hold a candle to our kid, and that this place may want them, only to see them shot down. Not saying her, but a lot of people have unrealistic expectations or are just built up to no end by teachers or parents and then never experience failure, so that when that rejection comes, it stings and hurts, a lot. I’m sure many people on these pages have dealt with those saying “you’re for sure going to get in”. While that’s great for the ego, no one needs to hear that just to hear that. To me it just makes things more anxiety ridden. I would much rather someone be honest than not.
It’s a hard pill to swallow as a parent to see our kids actually be human and not be perfect. But, it also makes them normal. There are great schools for everyone and trust me, it does not have to be an Ivy. An Ivy is not always the be all to end all and it doesn’t necessarily make you successful in life either. There are tons of fabulous schools her son can end up at as well as every fantastic applicant that didn’t get into Yale, or Penn, Dartmouth, Brown, Harvard/Cornell (later tonight), or Columbia this week but that doesn’t make them any less of a rockstar in our eyes than they already are.
12 Likes
So very sorry to hear about your Mom.
3 Likes
Thank you. 
1 Like
I’ve been following this thread for a few days and am grateful for all of your company over this very stressful time. My daughter applied and got deferred as an international student from the UK. I am far from rich and need financial aid for these eye watering fees. I have spent the majority of 2020 on a virtual college tour of the US and wow was I amazed. I have learnt so much and stand in awe of the students and their parents who have to go through the application process and then the college supplementals (UK don’t have supplementals), I am dreading Christmas and the work needed for RD, and my daughter also has school exams in January.
If you didn’t get in or have been deferred and don’t fancy your chances in RD then be proud of yourself for having the balls to apply in the first place. This decision does not define you. Move on to greater things.
Good wishes for you all and good luck in the next round.
Merry Christmas
9 Likes