<p>In this first college search experience in our home, I approached it like I do buying a car or appliance, with maybe a little too much research. I didn't think it was too overboard until other parents at work or in my area, looked at me oddly when I mentioned buying or borrowing review books, finding review sites, this site, and visiting colleges if not in person, by video. (okay, maybe that one seemed odd) The looks and disinterest a lot of families had made me think, a site like this gives you a feeling of "normalcy" that might not be the norm. My intensity seemed to ebb after a few months, but the memory lingers. I had to laugh when my younger daughter caught me looking at a mulit-college bumpersticker on a car next to ours a while back,at the grocery store. It had Columbia, Drew and Univ. of Rochester on the window, and the owner was just about to open her door, when my child said, "Don't even think about it". I wasn't going to say anything to the woman, but it made me realize I had to reel it in a bit. Anyone have any stories where they felt they were maybe too caught up in the process?</p>
<p>No. What amazes me is that so many parents are willing to without virtually any research invest so much much money plus their precious children in a college. Doesn't make sense to me.</p>
<p>My mother & I have spent countless hours in Borders reading US News & World Report and Princeton Review books. I agree with the post above, far too many parents are absolutely indifferent and empathetic to the entire admissions process. It is difficult enough for a student who has no idea what they want to do with the rest of their life, but when their parent doesn't have a clue about any colleges, it is doubly tough. This website gives everyone a false sense of normalcy (stop by the student pages- you'd think that a 2200 SAT was average, while it is certainly far above). As a rising senior, I can say that I (now) appreciate my parents being a bit obsessive during the search (I have now narrowed my choices down to 5 that I will be applying to). I'm sure your child(ren) appreciated it as well! :)</p>
<p>Northstarmom, I agree. There are so many ppl I know who just apply to large Universities to get a name (25,000+ students) and expect it all to work out. A person I know in the education business had a discussion w me and said that most parents simply do little research and want a name school.</p>
<p>I had poor advice and was in the wrong major at the wrong school for me. I don't want to do that to my son. I chose my school bcs it was in a city. That sounded exciting and my mother thought I should become worldly and experience culture (theatre, museums were her idea of culture). I did not understand that I would hate a research focused school that teaches freshman by microphone to a group of 100+. I did not understand that my teachers would not be excited to teach a freshman class (that was what I experienced in several classes). I did not understand that I would not understand my TAs bcs of their thick foreign accents and fast pace of speaking.</p>
<p>Good luck to the kids who have little guidance and are treated as a number. I know that situation would not work for my son.</p>
<p>I don't care what others think.</p>
<p>I agree...the apathy seems so predominate sometimes and it doesn't seem to matter on the type of student involved. Many in my area will say they haven't looked or investigated any colleges, because UConn is "fine". Well, UConn shouldn't be the only option for a lot of these students and I've heard so many parents tell me later, their children hated the large class's and felt overwhelmed. I was also surprised that some parents thought their state university could be their only application. My son's head GC tries to tell parents that private could be cheaper than public,isn't always a given and gives them examples comparing packages,etc. He said when you see the "glazed look", you know you lost them. I guess, I'll take my glazed look at the bookstore. I think my son appreciates it because he feels overwhelmed too and helping him come up with options, reduce his list, helped him stay focused. And I promised not to ask strangers about their kids schools! (at least with them): )</p>
<p>What amazed me is how all those "Baby on Board" window stickers in the grocery store parking lot became college stickers overnight! I read them all and wonder how the kids and parents ever got through the maze and came out on the other side. When I realized a state school wasn't right for DS and that colleges were not going to come looking for him, I went into high gear to try to help him find schools that would be a good fit. It does get obsessive. Whenever senior parents gathered it would be the topic of conversation. At least among some senior parents -- there were truly two groups. One was us
crazed, research-happy, "into" the whole thing group, and the other was the truly clueless. If there were middle ground people, they met elsewhere. I believe parents know their kids and need to be part of the search, at least where GC help is nonexistant or doesn't go beyond the state schools. I don't regret my time and energy spent on the task, and seeing my child happy and settled is a big reward. Now where do I get the energy to start all over with child #2 who simply could not be more different from #1?</p>
<p>I suppose you could have called me an apathetic parent, letting our son do all the college research for himself. However, his hs friends were primarily the better students where it was assumed that college options were wide open. Most applied to a mix of private and public colleges and our public hs guidance staff was excellent, giving them good advice on oos colleges, finaid and the like. Also, living in a college town, a significant %age of the students were children of college faculty.</p>
<p>Did we talk about college options with him? Of course. Did we offer suggestions? When asked. But he dug most of the info out for himself and from his friends who were in the same boat.</p>
<p>He decided to take a more laid back approach than most, but ended up with a fine final list-Case, Rensselaer, Oberlin, Allegheny, Wooster, state flagship university. We were able to sit back and be interested observers as things unfolded for him. Quite a nice experience for our family.</p>
<p>I have run into quite a few parents who just can't be bothered. My former boss, while having lunch with me and another colleague last summer (that colleague's son was applying to the same schools as my own son) at work even said "I'm so glad my own kids just wanted to go to the local state school down the road". For him, the idea of having to reasearch schools, visit, maneuver through the admissions game and eventually pay a hefty sum was something to dread, not enjoy. He will never understand our pleasure in all of this, and we'll never understand his. </p>
<p>To each his own. For the sake of our children, I'm glad we're all on this side of the fence!</p>
<p>Momsdream, I think your boss has typical involvement from what I have experienced. One of my son's friends is a rising senior, has not taken an sat yet, nor has he studied for them. His mother's attitude is "all kids get there, and find their way". This boy does not even know if he wants a 4 year college or a trade school (and if he wants a cooking school or auto mechanic school). The parents have not sat with gc, career counselor, or anyone.</p>
<p>Pretty often it blows me away how little parents know. Maybe we on cc are a bit overboard, but I can't help asking a few basic questions when I encounter parents of hs juniors and seniors and get huh??.</p>
<p>A recent example: their child is applying ED to Swarthmore, and test scores are a little low for the school. I suggested to dad (a lawyer) the child might want to try the ACT. He had never heard of the ACT (I guess that is partly the gc's doing).</p>
<p>I found that too 2331clk. In CT, the ACT is becoming pretty popular, my son said it was as crowded as the SAT class. When I ask in college conversations, if a kid is trying the ACT, many say, What's that? or show no interest in learning about it. It's just "one more thing".
Last night my son had a friends over and one boy said he was going to apply to a few schools, two that I knew needed SAT ll's. I asked him if he took them yet and and said No. I suggested he sign up soon and consider the ACT. It didn't seem like anyone checked to see what was needed, they just assumed the schools were alike. (I wish they were!)</p>
<p>School talked me out of the act for S. When I inquired they said that coming from a state where sats are the usual, it would look odd submitting the act.</p>
<p>I now know that is not correct, but son took sats and it was fine.</p>
<p>That's funny, because in my neck of the woods, they really push it. I guess at my son's school, they found a lot of the kids scored higher on it and got into more selective schools. I think if the ACT test centers are any indication, it wont be less popular for long, although the SAT will always be first.
And only on this board will you read about students going to another state to take the ACT in September because it isn't offered in their state that month. That I admit, to me, is a bit much, but I suppose it beats complete apathy. : )</p>
<p>Listen, I know a girl who flew to another country to take the ACT because it wasn't offered locally!</p>
<p>My D. made a great match with her University and I give a lot of credit to the US NEWS AND WORLD REPORT College edition. We were able to quickly and easily get a list of colleges that met what she thought she would like. For example she knew she wanted east coast, co-ed, large etc. Flipping through the pages..we made a big general list and then narrowed it down. Visited the top choices....and she loves where she landed!
The magazine really was an incredible help.</p>
<p>The kids I feel for are the ones whose parents just don't understand college or the application process at all. I've had two encounters in the past week that brought this home to me. Both involved friends of my daughter - they are both very bright girls who have done well at our local public high school. College counselling at the school is non-existent - only 15% of kids go on to 4 year colleges, the rest stumble into jobs or attend the local community college.</p>
<p>The first girl has been talking about college since middle school. She's bright but on the shy side, did reasonably well on her SATs, has excellent grades. Her parents are divorced, she lives with her grandparents. No one in her immediate family has ever gone to college. She and I have had several talks over the past year about college and I've given her some schools to look into where I thought she'd get the type of financial aid she'll need. This week, my daughter talked to her and she said, "I've decided not to go to college. My Mom said that if I don't know what I want to major in or do for a job that college will just be a waste. I may take some courses at the community college or I may move to Colorado with my grandparents. I'm not sure."</p>
<p>The other girl comes from a very nice, very religious family. Both parents attended Christian colleges but dropped out without graduating when they got married. Their daughter has been rebelling against their conservative religious beliefs for quite some time now. Ran into her mother at the post office who told me "J. is definitely going to college. She's going to Liberty University!" (For those that don't know, Liberty is an extremely conservative evangelical school in Virginia founded by Jerry Falwell) When I suggested that there might be other, slightly more....flexible....Christian and non-Christian schools for her to consider, her mom said, "Well, Her father and I have decided on Liberty. If she wants to go to college, that's where she'll go." </p>
<p>Sigh.</p>
<p>Debruns - lol the bumper stickers! I look at those, too, but have yet to ask! I do keep my ears open for discussions of particular colleges at the gym, running into neighbors, etc. :)</p>
<p>What surprises me is when parents hate visiting colleges. I've had more than one express surprise when I say I enjoy them. We love visiting different areas and the college road trips have allowed us to see areas that we have never seen before. And eating out at a local favorite beats cooking at home!</p>
<p>We all know the college process is serendipitous, but it is sad when it does not come out well due to lack of knowledge - applying to all reaches, missing deadlines, etc. It happens all the time, even in otherwise well-informed families. Some people I have spoken with assume their child will always get into our state flagship, but many students with decent stats were surprised to be rejected in the past few years. </p>
<p>Lalady - I'm in the same boat. S2 is soooo different from S1. We are looking at a whole new set of colleges!</p>
<p>carolyn, I think the first young lady has a chance. If she goes to community college and takes a couple of classes and has a college advisor/counselor to direct her, she may end up in a 4 year college. </p>
<p>I learned something new. I never heard of Liberty College. I guess this young lady has no options right now.</p>
<p>Guilty as charged Debruns. My D is insistent on taking the ACT again before SCEA/ED deadline, which means September since she wants to take her last SAT II (which she'll need to study for since she hasn't taken the class in over a year) in October. Thus, we are driving to Indiana the night before the ACT since it is not offered in our state in September. It's a 3 hr drive.</p>
<p>My son wants to go to Philly to visit someone and mentioned, with a smile,taking the ACT in Philly that weekend as an excuse in Sept. (It didn't work)
Blizzard, I'll admit it here, I have some regret not asking about Drew after viewing the b.sticker, because I don't meet many kids that went there, but will also will keep open ears. : )</p>
<p>I meet a lot of parents that don't want to visit schools, but wouldn't buy a house without seeing it first. I'm lucky the schools my son likes are close,within 3 hours, but I also got some collegiate videos to watch also. Some were AWFUL, like Clark, (he shouldn't of sold that) and I'm glad we saw it in person with a great guide, but others gave us a good idea whether to go ourselves or not. I'm going to loan them to my son's friends and then give them to his GC for next years bunch. I know I was pretty clueless about a lot of things, but when I hear the parents say they wont look into schools, think their kids are "too average", wont try to get aid, they wont visit, it makes me sad. One young man I know wants to be a vet, researched the schools, etc. and they keep telling him to go to UConn or another state school. He's always thrived on a smaller teacher/student ratio, so a teacher is actually bringing him and another kid to visit a school one fall weekend. Last year, another student at graduation thanked a teacher for bringing him to a school he is now attending. That is unexpected, but very gratifying to hear. Above and beyond.</p>