<p>Was there any aspect of your child's college search processs that you now feel was excessive, unnecessary, or counterproductive? If so, what would you do differently the next time around?</p>
<p>Thank you very much.</p>
<p>Yes:</p>
<p>Worrying too much about the outcome.</p>
<p>M D thinks we visited too many schools.</p>
<p>It was very hard to ignore the ill informed input of friends, family and acquaintences. It seems everyone has an opinion about everything, usually dated or erroneous.</p>
<p>What will I do differently? Relax.</p>
<p>I'll have confidence in our ability to pick the right schools for son #2 and know that he will have many to choose from come April 2007. :)</p>
<p>Well I would say we under did it.
I only visited 4 schools total with my daughter and she visited 6 schools with a section of her junior class- two of those schools she applied to with my urging.
She applied to 5 schools total and was accepted to all- but from hearing stories that was a risky way to do it- and we really should have had more of an idea of what the schools were like and what would have been a good fit. It was sheer luck that she had so many acceptances.</p>
<p>The only thing I really wish I would have had been more aware of is CC and the advise of some of the pro's-- and also some of the neophytes-- here. There is an organic perspective in this forum that is simply unavailable anywhere else.</p>
<p>The people here have read almost all the relevant books and can easily paraphrase the important aspects of them--there are people here who I believe may have written books on the subject. There is a veritable plethora of statistics posted on a daily basis that you would never come across yourself (Mini, Xiggi, Northstarmom, Sybbie, etc) and many fascinating stories and trials transcended wherein any one post can be an epiphany.</p>
<p>I wish I had also known a little earlier that there were plenty of people out there doing exactly what we were doingonly doing it better or with more élan. Often, the contentious and disputed points are the ones you will get the freshest information from; especially if you find your own view to be the one needing mending, as I have repeatedly.</p>
<p>READ-READ-READ, and occasionally post your uncooked thoughts! </p>
<p>Step lightly.</p>
<p>I think we did our college search fairly well. We were very realistic and well versed about each school we considered - haha - lots of on-line time - and NO thanks to a GC!!! We started our college search at the beginning of our DD's junior year - and whittled things down as we went thru the process. Yes it was a bit stressful at times - but we were also able to enjoy the very well planned trip that we took at the beginning or DD's senior year- which actually was a great bonding experience for us - was fast and furious - it covered a multitude of schools - all with different personalities and locations - and the 'right fit' jumped right out at us - it was also the one school my DD was not going to visit - almost kept going right by the exit one - for some reason - but it came out #1 hands down.</p>
<p>For our DS - he had had several opportunities to 'see' several schools on his list thru sport he was involved in - but he basically took the reigns for his own college experience - got an invite from a coach to the dream school - took the look see trip on his own - and on his arrival home announced 'that is it!!!' - and application for ED is due in 1 week!!!!! Only school he applied to and was accepted ED - He made it very easy for us haha - no swet on that one lol - except he had to be ready just in case the ED didn't work out - and he was - he had 4 other apps ready for mailing by the time the ED came in. We know it was a gamble for him to only apply to one school - but he took that leap all on his own - and landed quite nicely. </p>
<p>Our experience was really a family thing - we were all involved in the process - had to keep the communication lines open at every step - and I think that was the key factor. Organization - I think - was key to keeping things in the right perspective - to prevent the overwhemling part of sooooo much input during that period of time - as it tends to take on a life of its own and can overtake a family in many ways. THE FILE was started in September of DDs junior year - kept in the corner and utilized frequently as things started happening in and info was collected - got that hint from an old pal of mine - as it grew - it was also weeded out - til finally 25 schools remained and we set a deadline of when it had to be down to 6-8 - then the trip was planned based on those results - worked like a charm for us.</p>
<p>My only regret - they both went south - far from home - missed them alot but in the long run we all knew/know it was the absolute best for both of them - and we got to take vaca's to go see them - so that was great!!</p>
<p>Would I change anything - NO i don't think so - I think we approached the challange in a realistic and organized way for us - and have no regrets in that respect.</p>
<p>The main things we would have done better are, with #1, getting in more pre-application visits rather than waiting as long as we did; and with #1 and #2 managed the cash savings better from the start (had the money in accounts in our names, not theirs).</p>
<p>What we (and the kids) did right, I think, was in shooting for a good mix of schools, up and down the "degree of difficulty" ladder, and not getting fixated on getting into just one particular school. So in the end they both had good choices and that part of the process was very straightforward.</p>
<p>A few of the posters have regretted not doing more pre-app visits, but I've also read some well-reasoned posts that argue against this, and instead suggest that almost all visits take place after acceptance. Thoughts as to a happy medium?</p>
<p>Re: school visits. The available time for visiting is so limited due to geography and complications of everyone's lives, that it seems to me you have to fit them in in a variety of ways. If you can, plan a big trip over spring break of junior year (a la Curmudgeon) that covers the schools of interest in a region. I found that at the very beginning (junior year for us) we needed to see an urban university and a rural LAC so that we would know where to focus. If you live in an area with colleges, start on those campuses to get a feel for things. I don't think most h.s. sophmores are really able to project what kind of environment they want. I think it's too far in the future for them to realize it's a choice they can make. I'm sure there are exceptions. During the high school years, it's good to at least drive by campuses while on family vacations or trips so that at least you have a visual if those schools turn up when you start searching. </p>
<p>There is so little time to fit pre-application visits in, but I do think they're critical (and it can be logistically impossible to visit every school a kid gets accepted to in the month of April). I think you have to narrow it down to 'types' - make sure you visit an urban university, rural LAC, Catholic college, public university, engineering school, etc. depending on where your student's interests lie.</p>
<p>I would also talk to kids by junior year about what the family is willing to pay for education. We always knew we'd do anything to enable our kids to attend any school they were accepted to. We also chose schools that guaranteed to meet demonstrated need or had merit money. Not every family is willing to forego vacations, larger house, etc. to do this and I feel for kids who find out at the last minute (usually after they've been given everything they've asked for or could want) that the money isn't there for college. It's not so much of a blow if kids know before they get emotionally attached to a school that cost will be a factor.</p>
<p>"I think you have to narrow it down to 'types' - make sure you visit an urban university, rural LAC, Catholic college, public university, engineering school, etc. depending on where your student's interests lie."</p>
<p>I totally agree with this. </p>
<p>I also think the need, or lack of, pre-app visits, depends on the kid. For my D, it was important to test the ambiance of the campus and surrounds. Prior to visits, her "dreams" were Stanford and Columbia. After, her "dreams" were Yale and Chicago. Why? I have no idea.</p>
<p>In retrospect, we did a WHOLE lot of research and musing and thinking and talking about schools, and it probably wasn't all necessary. But it sure was fun! And the college visits were also really good bonding time.<br>
I think it was unnecessary for DD to have filled out one of the colleges individual apps when they accept the common app - but we were wavering about whether it mattered or not. For my next kid it will be common app online all the way. It simplified things a whole lot!</p>
<p>I think that college visits, prior to notification of an actual decision, are of limited value and can actually be counter-productive. My sister was totally put off UVA because the student conducting the orientation was a bit of a flake. It affected her opinion of the school - not logical but that is what happened. She loved Johns Hopkins - again, it was because the student who did the orientation was a highly motivated and impressive guide.</p>
<p>One can get a pretty good sense of a school based on the profile that is available. Then once one knows where one has been accepted, pay a visit to the campus of the schools that one is interested in and make a decision.</p>
<p>The process can be SO stressful, one thing I'd do differently is set up family time when conversations about college/future/applications is completely off limits.</p>
<p>I don't agree with the after-acceptance visits - for alot of reasons - tho for some it is probably ok - (or for that far away school that may not be an easy visit - you apply unseen and IF accepted you take a shot at trying to see it in a short time span in the spring) - but for many that pre-visit says alot - and can actually give you points with the adcom - seeing as you took the time and energy to stand on their campus - can be considered also as that maybe over the top thing - cuz you showed them interest - many schools give you credit for doing that.</p>
<p>For my own kiddos - they are the ''feel'' types - if it didn't ''feel'' right/good - they wanted nothing to do with it - no matter what school is was or even what the $$ incentive could have been. When we traveled in general we did do the drive thru of many schools - some we actually stopped and took a stroll or visited the admissions office to request info - others we drove right thru - cuz that ''feel thing'' just wasn't there - no sense stopping if was not a place that they felt would not be a ''happy'' place for them to spend 4 years of their lives at.</p>
<p>My best example was - my DD thought she liked school #1 as her top of the list school - we arrived there for a special visit - and it immediately went off the list completely!!!!! On paper it sounded perfect for what and where she wanted to be - in person - it failed her ''feel'' test completely. School #6 was almost a drive by - not even a drive thru - but last second she decided - ok - we need lunch - we can drive into town at least - hahaha - as we drive into town - she perked up big time - by the time we got to the campus - she was excited and wanted to take a tour - unplanned of course - the school was awesome - they treated us fantastic - she found it had EVERYthing she wanted and more - and it immediately went to the #1 spot on her list - she would end up comparing that school to all the others we saw and it remained her #1 choice - and that is where she is not - that 'feel thing' was right on for her - and also for my DS when he was going thru that process.</p>
<p>There is something to said for that ''feel'' thing - and I have 2 very happy campers at this point. Thank goodness!!!!!!!</p>
<p>jeepmom, I am glad that it worked out for your children with the visits to colleges prior to application. I guess like everything else, there is no set formula.</p>
<p>I have applied to 7 colleges - and have actually visited just one and that was really not even a planned visit. I was in CA and Stanford was close by and so we drove to the campus and walked around.</p>
<p>I have been accepted into UVA and William and Mary and was deferred by Stanford. My parents suggested that we go this weekend - I live in Northern VA - and check out UVA and W&M. I said that I would wait to hear from the other colleges and then decide which ones I want to visit.</p>
<p>I am very clear as to the course of action that I intend to pursue depending on which colleges offer me admission. It is highly unlikely that a visit to a campus will result in a make or break decision for me.</p>
<p>I'm reiterating Woodwork's statement about how important CC is to the process. It's ever-changing, and after reading this great info online we were able to think outside the box, visiting out-of state (and area) colleges at a time during 2nd semester junior year, when we really didn't have much of a clue but D said she wanted to attend a far-away school. We weren't thrilled with that prospect (her being so far away) but just in case we made D visit State U. and a couple next-state schools as well.</p>
<p>And what do you know? D will begin to make a decision next week once her last acceptance/deferral/rejection comes in, and I think she's going to pick State U. or Next-state U., after thinking about her family, friends, costs, etc. No pressure from us at all (OK, maybe a little from Mom...)</p>
<p>My point is, if it turns out that way, I believe that we had to go through the far-away school visits to make the closer ones that much more desirable.</p>
<p>jnm123, your D's experience brings to mind how my thinking has evolved.</p>
<p>I applied EA to Stanford because I was fairly convinced that it would be a good fit for me. I got deferred.</p>
<p>Since then, the idea of moving that far out has become less appealing. If I were finally left with the choice of Stanford or UVA, I may well choose UVA. The geographical closeness of UVA and it being a top-notch school are important factors. The clincher for me could end up being the fact that I was selected to be an Echols Scholar at UVA which offers certain benefits.</p>
<p>I am very guilty of worrying too much...the process is LONG and culminates during these final months in an emotional standstill waiting for the final information to make decisions...it really takes off starting with your Junior year when you take your final SAT/ACT (or next to final),planning college days,job shadowing....it goes by soooo quickly! I feel we were a little lagging on assisting D with deadlines. If we would have supported her in scheduling in the ACT/SAT studying,college days,etc. I feel she could have been a little less stressed... but it all worked out.
I would say that the student's preparation is important...but if they aren't ready to write essays,narrow down school choices,etc...I think you must wait as long as possible to give them the time. D was accepted and received merit awards from all seven-but going thru the application process for seven was hard on her...and still is with the waiting for final financial aid packages. Five would have been plenty for us.....but you never know which one will be able to help your student more...I am so grateful for this site. It has made the process less stressful with good information and support!</p>
<p>JeepMom - It's amazing how much your experiences paralleled ours. And lefthand, we did much the same as you, starting early (soph. year) to look at TYPES of schools large, small, urban, rural environments, and so on, just as part of family vacations and road trips. Many of there we little more than drive-bys; we'd park, walk the campus, go in several buildings, check out the student union/center and so on. Sometimes we'd sign up for a tour (invariably boring).</p>
<p>When it came time during his junior year to start getting serious, we were lucky in that he had specific interests in mind that greatly narrowed the list. We planned our visit into three stages: midwest (to correspond with a convention trip we had), California, and East Coast (only to be done if there was no interest in the first two trips). Then, like JeepMom's daughter's experience, when the right one was visited - boom! - that was it. Then others would be compared to that and we ended up not only NOT doing the East Coast trip, we never got around to the California trip either!</p>
<p>WouldbeMD - you have some great opportunities ahead of you - and I really wish you well. The schools you mention are unique in their own ways and I am sure you will be happy where ever you decide to go. The VA schools - for us - are good 'feel' schools also lol.</p>
<p>I have been flamed for the mention of this in the past - but the biggest 'thing' considered by our kiddos - was being HAPPY where ever they landed - HAPPY being the key word here - but the positive ''feel'' thing is very entrenched in this whole family - we really do feel strongly that if we have to spend a certain amount of time someplace - we want to ''feel'' good about it - be happy there - HAPPY being a very huge key factor. There were several great schools that crossed that paths of our kiddos - but if that ''feel'' wasn't there - it was off the list - never to be reserected again. And I have to admit that they both went to schools that had that certain ''feel'' for the whole family as well - not just for them.</p>
<p>Neither could imagine applying to any school sight unseen - that does not fit their personalities - tho I imagine for others it is an ok thing. But they also said that they would not spend the $ involved applying somewhere they had no clue about. They both ended up in places that FIT them to a T - totally. Altho our DS did go to an elite LAC - it fit like a glove for him and for our DD at an OOS Univ - same thing. Somehow it does all work out the way it should - for most at least.</p>