<p>We had this type of discussion with a out-of-town family member over the weekend (he has three kids, now in grade school). We mentioned that, although WE preferred some of the smaller schools on our son's list, it was ultimately his choice. He chose big.
Now, this family member said he couldn't see that happening in his house - after all - he's paying the tuition. Hmmm.. .actually, I think he'll learn when he crosses that bridge.<br>
I can't see forcing my kid to attend the school that WE feel is a good match. Unless perhaps there were serious money concerns. In our case, our son's top choice was also the cheapest choice. Good in his major too. We tried to influence (small classes, going out to dinner at professors houses, yada, yada) - but his mind was set. And he's thriving now, so I guess he knows what's good for him.</p>
<p>I actually agree a bit with almost everyone. I raised my S to aim high, so I don't want to limit his college choices. However, we do not have the financial resources to pay for anything except an in-state public school. He has known since early childhood that if he decided to go elsewhere and the costs were higher, he would have to come up with a plan to fund it. He understands that, and as it turns out, he will probably go to GA Tech -- out of state. This adds $20K per year to HIS tab. He will probably do the coop route to help fund it, plus take out some loans and dip into the small amount of savings that he has. I think he can do it. The point is, it was HIS choice, not mine. When I was growing up, I had no choices when it came to college. My parents pretty much made me go to the closest school, where I was very unhappy. I don't want that to happen to my S. So he gets to make the choice, but he also has to take responsibility. We will support him as much as we can.</p>
<p>My parents had a great perspective on this. Even though we don't qualify for aid, and some loans will be involved, they felt that giving to me, what had been given them by their parents was their duty and obligation as a parent. The also felt they were raised by their parents to make their own decisions so they felt it their obligation to let me make mine, once they had helped to show me all the alternatives, big, small, private, state, rural, urban ...you get the picture. So after providing all the right tools, they felt it was up to me to make the decision. They did, however, put a special spin on it. They know I have it in me to succeed, and they also know I can sometimes procrastinate, so we agreed that at the end of the four years, I would pay $4k for any grade I receive lower than a B. I think it is a great idea because it will keep me on track and at the end will make me appreciate the sarifices they are making to provide me with what I want, not what they want.</p>
<p>"Thankfully, none of our children are, or have been, interested in "some useless program at some throwaway school." Then again, I can't think of many programs or schools I'd describe in those terms."</p>
<p>I know some girls who chose to major in Hanging On To Your Man at the University of Wherever-He-Decides-To-Go. It'd be a dark day before I'd pay my imaginary daughter's tuition at that school.</p>
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we agreed that at the end of the four years, I would pay $4k for any grade I receive lower than a B.
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That's something I've never considered. I've heard about parents on this board enforcing a 3.0 average requirement or pulling the money if the student isn't getting high enough grades, but this approach is new for me. It's kind of nice. The problem, though, would be a student deciding not to challenge himself for fear of getting a B- or C+, which may be perfectly fine grades for that particular class. I'd like my future kid to try out Honors O-Chem if that's what he wants to do, even if he may end up with a B- (which I would be proud of him for getting because in that particular class it's not a bad grade at all).</p>
<p>I meant to say that any grade below the B range I'd pay for. SO, C+ and less is on me. They figure with tuition only (excluding room and board) around $32k at teh school I am going to attend (Colorado College) that works out to about $4k per class. Since Colorado is on a block plan where you only take one course at a time for 3 1/2 weeks, I should be able to do this. Even with the toughest class I can imagine, I will not have any other academic classes competing for my attention. I think it is fair and a creative way to support me, but also indicate they expect decent results.</p>
<p>Yeah, that sounds as if it should work out fine. Good luck!</p>