Are they asking for advice on this, or trying to fend off unsolicited advice from well meaning family members?
My initial reaction is that if they are asking for advice, they are too young. People who are ready to get married don’t start asking other people if they think it’s a good idea or not. If they are asking, they aren’t ready.
If they aren’t asking, then people offering advice should keep it to themselves.
A. They had two years of friendship and dating, one more to go before boy graduates so plenty of time together before engagement or marriage.
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All true. I think they’ll find their own way.
I think boy wanted to go for masters right away but putting it off for few years to start earning, his or gf’s parents may pitch in for dental school or masters but they want to be as independent as possible.
They are in love and want to build a life together.
They aren’t asking for advice, only informed family and friends what they are planning to do but getting advice anyways. Everyone gives advice from their own experiences and personal perspective so it’s of little use to them. There are no right or wrong decisions. Every decision has different set of pros and cons.
Both of them have their own apartments and part time jobs and scholarships so they are practically living on their own.
To state the obvious:
A concern is that both individuals will be experiencing significant life events as young adults while apart from each other.
Do you think that both would agree to visit with a qualified marriage counselor for advice ?
It will come down to the two people involved and their commitment to each other.
DH and I dated long distance for the 3 years I was in law school and he was working in Boston. We also lived apart while he attended business school during our engagement and first year of marriage and we just celebrated our 29th anniversary. I have many nephews and nieces that are maintaining long distance relationships with their SOs while they’re pursuing grad school and career opportunities.
The questions/considerations listed by @Publisher are absolutely worth addressing. I know a number of people who have successful marriages that dealt with long distance relationships during dating and their marriage. Some people can do it, some people can’t. Often people don’t find out if they can until they have to do it.
I’d recommend they continue pursuing their respective personal and career goals, support each other but hold off on marriage.
Their parents may arrange counseling but in the end, it all comes down to individuals, their commitment and their circumstances. You can’t plan or predict human lives.
I’ve seen too many well timed and well planned marriages dissolve where marriage counseling (professional and communal) was done before and after marriages so personally have little faith in relationship counselors.
I have 7 psychologists and psychiatrists in my circle and 4 of them are divorced, 1 divorced 4 times and other 3 times, two one time each so far. These are really bad stats for experts dishing out advice to others.
I still shake my head when I think of my sister; she married at the start of her college career (February of freshman year) at 18 1/2 to a man 10 years older!!! My father introduced them and I still think ‘WTH was he thinking?’ Anyway, she did finish college and had her first child in her early 20s. Almost 45 years later, they are still married; he’s retired and she retires next year. It can work.
These two are only one year apart and relationship grew from friendship not arranged by parents or Tinder but any type of marriage can work or fail. It’s hard to predict.
Hmmm, my opinion if this were my child.
Trust yourself and wait. I know it sounds like you want/need to marry but it will still be there once schooling is finish.
If this was my child, I would want them to live out their dream, which is graduate school and careers. I’d rather they make the decision that they can make the relationship last and still follow what they want to achieve.
But that’s me, others have their own ideas. And they work also.
CJ McCollum plays for the Portland Trailblazers. He met his wife in college. I follow him on Instagram so this is only what I know from his Instagram lol! Met in college, I think he left after 3 years to the NBA but graduated. She went to dental school at Columbia. Did her residency and then they married. Each have very successful careers but both followed their dreams. Definitely high powered careers lol and definitely long distance. They figured out a way to make it work.
My sentiments exactly but on other side, life is tough and sometimes having a supportive partner makes it easy to navigate the world.
In my opinion no one should marry before 30 but being alone and navigating dating is not easy nowadays and a significant source of mental health issues. You loose 10 good years of youth in these post grad pursuits, success has value but how much value? Even if they don’t do professional schools, they’ll be fine. Anyone attending an Ivy is already among 1% in the world.
They can have both in my opinion. You can have a supportive partner and pursue your dreams. It isn’t about either or
You edited your post so I’ll add to what you said.
My daughter’s boyfriend just finished professional schooling and the associated path afterwards. She had graduated, was working but is pursuing graduate school of her own. They are still young, still committed. They still have plenty of time left to pursue life together. Not married, yet. On a dream vacation as I write.
I’m going to say it again. You can have both a committed relationship and pursue your career dreams without marriage if that is what you choose.
There really are no rules for these things.
I think Publisher’s list of questions are a good starting place.
My kid met spouse in high school, dated long distance through college. One graduated early and took a job requiring long distance to continue. This created some tension. The other graduated and started grad school, which would have required a second year of long distance or a job change but for the pandemic and remote work saving the day, lol. They got married. The other stops work and starts grad school soon. The second grad school choice was certainly constrained by the location of the first. This was known but reality is, well, real. Letting go of the dream of a top grad school for the second person was at least a little bit hard.
Since both these young adults are planning on grad school, these kinds of things need to be discussed. When you’re married, there will always be that other person to consider and sometimes that involves sacrifices. It’s good to think that through ahead of time.
Not that our opinion matters, but if this was my child I would suggest waiting a bit. You can still support each other without being married. I met DH my freshman year college. He was a year older so we had a year apart. And guess what - we did end up breaking up for a bit! But we got back together and supported each other through grad school. After dating for years then living together for a year we got married. And just like @ChaosParent23 we also had our 22nd anniversary yesterday. 
I get that they are nervous about being apart, but rushing into marriage because of that doesn’t seem like the best idea to me.
I’m happy for your kid. Every happy individual or couple adds happiness to the society at large. There is no one set path to find happiness.
It brings us to the question of why can’t engagement or marriage be one path? Obviously not for everyone but for ones who feel committed enough?
Ones who doesn’t feel ready or doesn’t believe in marriage, for them it’s of no value but couples who want it but doesn’t feel committed enough to marry someone after several years and no hurdle, they may be looking for someone better to come before they settle for the person they have?
I would be very careful interfering into young adults relationship unless there are obvious red flags. Only two in relationship know what is best for them. Marriage is not going to hold unstable relationship and there’s no reason to rush.
That’s my advice to parents to let them decide without pressure.
It makes little sense to advise them to wait 7-10 years so both can finish their education & residency to find dream jobs in same town even though soon they’ll have 2 Ivy degrees, one good income and no debt after undergrad.