Hypothetical Worst First Line for an application essay

Parents Forum Parent Cafe
1

For a little bit of stress relief for those of us who are parents of seniors looking at the clock counting down to EA deadlines, and inspired by a recent discussion of cliched essay topics in the class of 2019 thread, I challenge you to come up with the worst first line for an essay.

I’m thinking something like,

“I went on a mission trip to Haiti and I will never see the world the same way again.”

But I’m the currently brain dead parent of a senior so I’m sure the rest of you can be much more entertaining.

Give me your best worst first line.

2

“I am only applying here because my parents forced me to, so please reject me.”

3

I stole money ten years ago, but circumstances rather demanded it and here’s my story…

4

I like beer.

5

“After I buried the body I considered carefully how to sterilize my car. I decided on fire.”

6

Let me tell you what I learned about people from running a lemonade stand when I was ten to fund my first trip to see FC Barcelona play in Barcelona…

(I actually passed that lemonade stand…)

7

It’s really not about that new wing of the library Daddy’s buying; it’s about what’s inside that counts.

8

I feel bad for the kids who have gone on mission trips to Haiti, had their world change, and can’t use that in an essay for fear of seeming cliche.

That’s not a first line but a comment.

Hopefully I will come up with a clever first line but I don’t think I’ll beat @greenwitch 's

9

When I woke up the day of the big game, I couldn’t believe it was overcast out. This was going to really mess up my recruitment videos.

10

“I like beer.” =D> ^:)^

11

Travel broadens the mind - in actually speaking to a hotel gardener, I came to realize that some of these people do have some degree of humanity.

12

This topic was written about in the CC cafe 14 years ago, and has some of the absolutely funniest posts I have ever read on CC. PLEASE, if you need a good laugh, read it!! http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-confidential-cafe/19427-worst-titles-for-college-essays-p1.html Love the witty, clever, hilarious responses.

13

A big obstacle I had to overcome was the three hours my iPhone stopped working…

14

In these days of the “sharing economy”, can anything really be called “plagiarism” anymore?

15

LOL #13!

16

I’ll stop now (that’s me, not an essay line. :slight_smile: )

17

Here are a few from the thread I linked above:

18

While some people have told me that it’s impossible for me to attend Stanford while at Folsom Prison, I aim to prove them wrong. I never let anything stand in my way, not 12-foot-thick safe between me and the diamonds and not the 12-foot-high walls between me and Stanford’s Taco Bell architecture.

19

I had spent a lot of time imagining my first kiss…

It hadn’t been my intention to kill him, but…

20

Please disregard my transcript’s apparent lack of rigor. The truth is all of the AP teachers at my school are horrible people who irrationally dislike me, and everyone knows that becoming a teacher’s assistant is extremely competitive here.