<p>anneroku, what a fabulous idea! I will do just that. Thanks for the tip!</p>
<p>Stupid question: What’s a NECSAC school?</p>
<p>It refers to the New England Small College Athletic conference. These are the schools- <a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NESCAC[/url]”>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NESCAC</a></p>
<p>Even though I believe a reasonable public education is a fantastic thing and that’s what I had and I’m proud of it, we’re sending DS1 to Swarthmore. Why? It will completely suit him, in every fibre of his being. He really responds to a great deal of personal attention and nurturing, at a school with 1400 kids, he’s definitely going to get it. He loves the whole Quaker thing. He loves to yak yak yak in a highly abstract and cerebral manner, and I think Swat is full of his tribe. He’s just a very particular kid of person, and all his life he’s had to be this kind of person in a more general kind of world. I think that they will understand him there and help him find parts of himself that he doesn’t know yet, whereas in another kind of school, he might be kind of lost. He loved it so much from the very first moment he looked as if he were floating. He also works very, very hard and seriously and I think he’ll just be in complete heaven. Second son will probably go public. But son 1 was one of those people who were born to love their college years with a red hot passion. Guess we’ll be buying the store-brand gruel for the next four years, though!</p>
<p>Endicott, Swarthmore is such a wonderful place for the right match…and that is in no way a statement that a public college is not also a great jumpstart in life. Goes without saying that he will have four years that will be extremely meaningful for him on every level, congrats!</p>
<p>Thank you, Faline!</p>
<p>In regard to OP, “We have the money for all these schools but are these highly selective schools worth the money” - well, if you have the money, then there is no question about what worth it or not, the kid goe where he wants to go. For example, our D is planning to go to Grad school. We have decided that UG was not worth it ot spend $$, but we never felt that we have money. I am telling my D to apply to ANY Graduate school, including the most expensive ones, but I told her to apply to only UG that she had a chance to get Merit $$, that logic was based on fact that we never felt that we have the money. We are planning to support her financiallly thru Med. School and encourage her to apply anywhere she wishes.</p>
<p>Endicott, from the description of your S I think you are on track as to his goodness of fit with Swarthmore. A friend of mine has a S, now graduated from Swat, that sounds just like yours! It seems as though he had waited his entire life to be in a place like Swat, that suited him. What great fortune that your S is finally on the verge of “finding his people!” </p>
<p>Best to him and you.</p>
<p>Thank you, Patc. It does seem that certain colleges fit certain kinds of individuals, doesn’t it? Although, many times people also find their niche in a college where they didn’t expect they would.</p>
<p>We know families who have sent their kids to public flagship schools when they could have easily afforded to sent them anywhere. The kids wanted the Penn State, or other big school. I know a family that has sent everyone to UNCChapel Hill. </p>
<p>These days, OOS publics are really getting up there in cost. The question I have heard now being asked is whether it is worth it to send a student to one of such schools over a much less expensive in state school that is not as well known as the Indiana U, Georgia Tech, UMD, Penn State, etc.</p>
<p>Endicott, as the mother of a Swat '07 graduate, I wish your family the best. My S truly “found his people” there. If a $50K education can ever be “worth it,” I think your S will find it there.</p>
<p>50K a year. >200k over four years. Wow. That must be some kind of education. Of course, I’m from the poor side of town. :)</p>
<p>cptofthehouse, so many kids I know go to an out of state university just because they want to get out of state, not because that univ. is objectively better than their own in-state. Here in NJ, many kids have an extreme bias against Rutgers for some reason (my own S practically shouted at me, 'There’s no way I’m going THERE! Half the school is going there!" He refused to budge even when I explained to him that a) Rutgers is huge and it’s not like he would bump into high school kids there from his hometown on a daily basis and b) actually, only a handful of kids were going; not half, because everyone felt the same as him.) Many kids here in S. Jersey go to Delaware State or Penn State just because. Of course, Delaware and Penn State are fine schools, but I think if you decide to go out of state to a university, you need to carefully consider whether the extra, say $80K for four years is worth it. </p>
<p>Now some in-states, as you say, are less well known. In that case you have to decide what your child is likely to be interested in. Some schools that are less well known offer excellent programs in a specific department. For instance, Michigan State, which I"m familiar with, is not particularly well known. However, its Hotel Restaurant Management, agriculture and teaching departments - to name just three - are very well regarded. This is likely to be the case in any state univ. Even if your child attends a state school that is not particularly well known, he/she is MUCH more likely to get an excellent education than in a small, private, not particularly well known liberal arts college. (In my opinion.) I see many parents send their kids to unknown liberal arts colleges and pay $50K per year when they could send their kids to a decent public state univ. for a quarter of the price. All state univ have the capacity to offer far more than a small unknown lac. However, for some parents, money is not an object and also they are concerned that their child will get swallowed up in a big state univ. Only you and your child can tell what is probably best for him/her.</p>
<p>Hoveringmom, we are from NJ too. I think that a lot of students in NJ leave the state because Rutgers-NB is expensive and is a research focused university. Rutgers instate COA is not cheap. If one has an EFC that is few thousand higher or lower than the COA for Rutgers, it might cost a similar amount to go somewhere else. There is another poster who is sending her D to a state school in FLA because the OOS sticker price was just a little bit higher than Rutgers and it would be a better fit. As far as the LACs, I think that students that elect to go there are looking for a different environment than what Rutgers has to offer. A large research focused university won’t be able to offer the individual attention and small classes for the first 2 years of college (intro level classes) that an LAC can offer. Some students want or need that, and some don’t. Also, getting back to the EFC, if one’s efc is within striking distance of the COA at Rutgers, the cost might be equal to the family even if the sticker price is 50k.</p>
<p>Endicott,</p>
<p>Another parent of Swarthmore alum wishing you and your son all the best.</p>
<p>RISD graduates: [List</a> of Rhode Island School of Design people - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Rhode_Island_School_of_Design_people]List”>List of Rhode Island School of Design people - Wikipedia) Check out the list of MacArthur fellows and the illustrators.</p>
<p>RISD is a fabulous school, but I just want to point out that the linked list is neither better nor worse than any similar caliber art school. In fact, in several categories, the alumni on these lists might be considered more impressive:
[List</a> of California Institute of the Arts people - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_California_Institute_of_the_Arts_people]List”>List of California Institute of the Arts people - Wikipedia)
[School</a> of the Art Institute of Chicago - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/School_of_the_Art_Institute_of_Chicago]School”>School of the Art Institute of Chicago - Wikipedia)
I want to assure the mother posting earlier who was regretting her inability to afford RISD that it simply is not the case that any single art school is considered “the best” in this country. And if you look at the graduate students who are currently enrolled in the most prestigious art programs, you will find that most did not attend a “top” art school for their undergraduate degree.</p>
<p>I’ve been reading with interest this entire thread. My S has had his sites set on attending college on the West coast for at least two years. We live on the East coast.</p>
<p>He applied to several of the OOS schools and our state flagship university. The state flagship university has offered him their highest level, 4 yr scholarship. The OOS university has offered him a $2,000/semester work study program, which will bring the OOS tuition “down” to $41,000 per year. If the OOS university had offered him a decent financial aid package we might have been in a position to help him a little.</p>
<p>He has worked extremely hard in high school, scoring 4s and 5s on over 10 AP classes and doing quite well on the SATs. I believe our state university has rewarded him quite nicely for his hard work.</p>
<p>His father and I are asking him to “follow the money”. We are not rich. I’ll be the first to admit that we have not handled our finances to the best of our abilities and have recently lost $$ in the stock market (who hasn’t been affected?).</p>
<p>We think it is extremely important, especially now, that he graduates from college debt-free. We don’t want him to become “us”. He does not seem to think it is a big deal to go $100,000s into debt for an “undergraduate experience of a lifetime”, as he says it would be.</p>
<p>We cannot in good conscience co-sign or take out PLUS loans just so he can be “happy” at an OOS college. We know that in his area of study that our state university ranks very high and is somewhat comparable.</p>
<p>He is being very unreasonable and even immature about our decision. We can’t even be in the same room without an arguement about this. I even dread going home after work-that’s sad :-(</p>
<p>The deadlines are fast approaching (May 1) and we are weary.</p>
<p>Has anyone else experienced this situation? Any advice? I feel like we are all alone…</p>
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<p>Did you spell out for him how much money the OOS would have to offer to make it possible for him to attend? What a decent financial aid package need to be and what “help a little” meant in dollars and cents?</p>
<p>TAke him to see a financial planner.</p>
<p>I’m serious. If he wants to take on adult debt, take him to see a professional adult, ASAP, and to talk over his adult options and his adult responsibilities and the long term ramifications of his actions. Don’t even go in with him. Tell him you are taking him to explore his adult options, as an adult, and that he should dress appropriately. Take yourself out of the equation (pun intended).</p>
<p>With you it’s an argument. With a financial planner, it’s just facts.</p>
<p>After that, just love him and support his decisions and his freedom to make his own mistakes.</p>