<p>How many nice cars would he miss out on buying after graduation because he’s got to pay student loans? PLUS loans require payment of interest while a student is in school, so unless he’s making those payments, the interest gets added to the principal. Since he is unlikely to have sufficient credit history to take out PLUS loans himself, that leaves you and DH to cosign. Are you willing to take on that responsibility?</p>
<p>$100k in loans plus capitalized interest during school plus interest after graduation = several nice cars. That doesn’t even count grad school, if he has that in mind.</p>
<p>poetgrl,
That is a really good idea. The local bank probably works, too. It would have a more immediate impact than running a debt calculator online.</p>
<p>Suggest to him that he enroll in flagship U & consider going to grad school of his dreams or perhaps transferring after he has gotten basic requirements out of the way so he’s only at expensive U for two years instead of four. It truly is CRUSHING debt to graduate owing 6 figures and does no one any favors but tremendously limits options.</p>
<p>Another thing to note is that some states have excellent LAC-like smaller public colleges that might be of interest to some kinds of students who wouldn’t fare well in a big public university. Some examples are TCNJ in New Jersey (almost all classes under 25 kids); SUNY Geneseo; College of William and Mary, etc., etc. </p>
<p>Heartbroken Mom, I think you are making the right decision. I understand your son’s mourning, but if you don’t have the money in the bank, and would have to take out loans, how can you retire? This is not an era where people can even SAY they’re going to keep working when they’re old–there are so many unemployed people in their 50s that nobody wants to hire. It’s a terrible time right now!! I read somewhere else on CC that 1 out of 6 kids are changing their college plans for financial reasons this year. It’s unfortunate that your son did not get more scholarship, but it sounds as if he has a fine alternative. If he doesn’t want to go to your in-state school, he doesn’t have to, but I agree that you have every right in the world not to pay for the out-of-state one either.</p>
<p>It is true that many state Us have smaller experiences especially avaiable to high-achievers. Many of them pretty readily accept APs with high scores for credit, which may also enable your student to have more time to explore at his U, travel, do a term abroad or at a cooperating U, etc. Have your child explore some of these options which should be available at state U – I did a year at another OOS U & liked it so much the U gave me lots of money to stay so it was nearly the same as in-state U. These are much lest costly ways of exploring and stretching which are mindful of financial realities.</p>
<p>You can call the in-state U & ask as well–maybe get some brochures about these programs so both of you can talk about how thru in-state U he can travel much more than if he went elsewhere, etc.</p>
<p>“Caving in” due to a kid’s surley attitude is really a pretty awful message to give your kid. You do the kids and family NO favors if you are trying to do something that is fiscally irresponsible. If your kiddo believes so much in the value of OOS schools, when he is 24 and legally an adult under FAFSA, he can apply and pay for everytning on his own.</p>
<p>northeastmom, yes, you’re absolutely right. I had been thinking of my own situation–low EFC and high test scores for kids. Rutgers offers a phenominal merit scholarship if your kid happens to be good at the SATs–If they have 1500 SAT (two tests) and are top 5%, they get a free ride. But you’re right that Rutgers isn’t as good a deal if your EFC is high. However,I don’t think it’s just that Rutgers is a good research univ only–some of its undergrad programs are top ranked. For instance, the Mason Gross school (theatre ) is among the top in the country. And their honors college program is amazing (so I hear). Also, many universities have their focus more on the grad than undergrad. When my ex was a PhD candidate at MIT, for instance, the received wisdom among the grad students and faculty was that the undergrad was sub-par. Harvard is another top school that has a bad reputation for undergrad. For large schools, it’s more what you make it, and whether your child can handle being independent and not having his/her hand held (my own oldest S has great difficulty with this, and really belongs in a LAC, but refuses to see this and instead insists on NYU. Sigh.) I brought up Rutgers because I think that most people don’t make the informed decision you are obviously making–they just don’t want to go to Rutgers because it’s viewed as ‘bad’ in NJ. Not outside NJ.</p>
<p>heartbrokenmom, I second everyone’s responses. It would be a terrible thing for your son to be saddled with that much debt, particularly when he has a great option in state. May I ask what sort of community do you live in? Is your son around a lot of kids whose parents can afford to write a $50K check every year? If so, that would make it easier for him to feel ‘deprived.’ I used to live in Ann Arbor, and even this year, all my friends from there are just letting their kids choose a school–money is no object. When I talk to my dear friends there, it’s REALLY hard for me, and I’m an adult, not to feel ‘deprived.’ Also, does your son understand your financial situation? He may be under the impression that you have a lot more money than you do, and think you’re being stingy. While you certainly should not show him your assets etc., perhaps you can tell him as an adult that you simply do not have the money. Finally, show him what he needs to pay per month when he graduates if he takes out a $100K loan. Show him what rent is. Show him what food costs. In my experience, kids who have never had to pay for these items have really no concept at all of what it really means to take out such a loan. For my own S., it wasn’t until he was handling his own food budget his second year in college, that he suddenly realized how expensive food was. Good luck. Do not feel guilty. Stand by your ground–you are definitely not alone!!</p>
<p>Hoveringmom, I do agree with you about Rutgers. It has a very good national reputation, and has some excellent undergraduate programs. I say research focus because I don’t feel the focus is on undergraduate teaching overall, but there is a focus on research. </p>
<p>If your EFC is higher than COA at Rutgers (30,000+), then Rutgers becomes a very good buy again. It is for instate students with an EFC in the 21-27k range, that it is not a great deal. As you point out, if you have very high stats and can get into their honors program and earn a scholarship then family income is not as relevant. I was think about the average Rutgers student when I made my comments.</p>
<p>Best of luck with your oldest son. Perhaps you can reach a compromise!</p>
<p>Rationalizing these sorts of difficult decisions is a process of give and take. </p>
<p>“” When my ex was a PhD candidate at MIT, for instance, the received wisdom among the grad students and faculty was that the undergrad was sub-par. Harvard is another top school that has a bad reputation for undergrad""</p>
<p>Grad students sometimes did not get in to the same instution as an undergrad. Consoling parents might have said something like ‘you’ll show them later on.’ Parents of a child disappointed by the economic realities might also suggest the same, ‘you can go as a grad student.’ </p>
<p>It is ridiculous to call an MIT education or a Harvard education at any level subpar, however, and any student capable of getting in to these schools as an undergrad deserves to be given a more legitimate understanding of their situation.</p>
<p>robyrm2, I wasn’t rationalizing anything; I think you’re quoting me out of context. I certainly don’t mean to put down kids who choose Harvard or MIT undergrad. It’s wonderful. I meant that quote in context of another conversation about Rutgers and its reputation in NJ as good for grad and not good for undergrad. I brought up Harvard and MIT as two fine schools with the same sort of reputation among many people. I didn’t mean that the reputation was necessarily true. I meant that there are many schools with different reputations, that these reputations may or may not be true, and that the student has to find what works best for him/her. Reputation is not the same thing as fact; and anyway, it doesn’t really matter what the reputation is; what matters is what’s best for the individual student and the parents if they’re supporting the student.</p>
<p>On our income, my husband and I could not afford to send S2 to the wonderful LACs that admitted him. Even with the financial aid offered the cost would have crippled us and indebted him to an unreasonable degree. Luckily…amazingly… he was admitted to Harvard, with an incredible financial aid package.We’re thrilled, despite the comment from hovering mom that Harvard’s undergrad is subpar. (!)
That said, college is a moot point for our significantly learning disabled S1 and our D will probably land at our state school without any kind of merit aid. So while my heart goes out to all who are weighing private school/full-tuition vs. OOS or in-state university/full-ride, I realize it’s tough but there is still much for you to celebrate. Your children are blessed with ability. They will have wonderful opportunities, no matter what choice you make now.
I wish you all the best with your decision.</p>
<p>I am flabbergasted with some schools expecting 200K+ for a undergrad degree. We lost one of our jobs & our new family income is approx 60K a year but JHU/Duke/Northwestern/WashU expect us to cough up 50K+ a year on a negative cash flow on our monthly expenses. D1 is salutatorian with 35 ACT score and got into top schools. Unfortunately did not apply to Ivy who have much better endowments. Now just considering Case and Carnegie as options both who offered merit scholarships.</p>
<p>Bottom line: Set the expectation for your kids - getting into colleges does not guarantee that they will be sympathetic to your financial situation.</p>
<p>Another option that might be good to consider is a gap year & reapply next year to schools that give better merit awards like University of Southern California, ivys, etc. CMU is not as generous with merit awards as some of other Us.</p>
<p>Here’s something to think about…I was attending an award ceremony for students who had been recognized as potential Princeton candidates by the state Princeton alumni association. One of the Princeton alums and I were having a conversation about public high schools. My comment was that I thought that kids who were at the top of large suburban high schools would be at the top of any school in the country. He agreed and said that that was why his company recruits at Penn State: he added that anyone who as at the top in a school with 40,000 students is at the top. </p>
<p>It’s a bit sad when kids work so hard to get that letter of acceptance and can’t go to their first choice. But not everybody does. As a hiring manager, I would think that a student who chose the more practical path and came out with no debt might be the person you want working in the company.</p>
<p>$200,000----to $240,000 for an undergrad degree</p>
<p>we had the same discussion tonight…still not decided.</p>
<p>wash u costs 225,000…no guarantee of med school. no scholarship</p>
<p>med scholar program …guarantee of med school with a GPA of 3.6…Costs 95000</p>
<p>6 year med school…US med school…costs 236 K</p>
<p>He wants georgetown…240 k …undergrad
Next in the list is 230k…Northwestern undergrad
Next …EMORY 230K…undergrad.</p>
<p>advising him if he wants …he can take 95 K med scholar program
or go to 6 year med school for 240k.
Life starts once u become a doctor…Internist…find your own path & specialize in any field &shine.</p>
<p>I am ready to finance the last 2 options…</p>
<p>I am not willing to spend 240 K for an undergrad degree.in a dream school…+250 for med school.</p>