@soozievt the baby needs to be where the mother is…because the mother is breastfeeding. If I’m reading this correctly, the baby can’t stay home with dad.
We also had no children at DDs wedding, as well as our own back in the Stone Age. BUT a nursing mother would have been allowed to bring a baby. We also had one two year old…and the whole family would not have been able to come if he hadn’t been allowed to come (immediate family of the groom). We had a play room area set up, with some new toys, and a place to sleep upstairs at our reception place. The parents (and grandparents) took turns watching the little one play and then sleep.
@oldfort…would that be an option? Is there a place at the reception where the baby and relatives could watch the baby?
@thumper1 I did not see any mention that @oldfort’s daughter is breastfeeding. Maybe she is but I didn’t read that in her post. If so, husband and baby could go on the trip and mom attends wedding and dad stays in their hotel room or rental house with baby. No need for in-laws to travel to this location.
Also, extended family members can meet the new baby over the weekend outside of the wedding itself.
S and DIL welcomed friends/family with infants (especially those still nursing) at their wedding even though children were otherwise not invited (except for the flower girls, so not a blanket ban). To be honest, we didn’t even know they were there. When one became fussy during the outdoor ceremony I’m told the mom took the baby out of earshot. I mean I was up front standing under the chuppah and didn’t even hear her.
Since, if I am reading correctly, the wedding is all at the hotel where guests are staying, and if your niece doesn’t change her mind, perhaps your D and her husband could have a room at the hotel (even if they rent a house) the day of the wedding and take turns or alternatively, hire a sitter and your D can go up when needed to nurse, assuming they are comfortable with Covid precautions at that time.
My sister went to Germany on a 3 day business trip when her daughter was 3 months old. She was breastfeeding and just saved up a lot of milk and had formula if there was an emergency. People make it work.
If your daughter doesn’t want to stay at the hotel, will she be ready to have relatives around her new baby? Maybe that’s hard to know right now. Ask the cousin what she wants and what she expects. If daughter doesn’t like the rules, she’ll have to skip this wedding.
My DS is finally going to have a wedding next month. They have been rescheduling it for a year now. Here in CA they still only allow 3 households for outdoor wedding so we are going to have a small group of about 23 people. The biggest challenge is to find a rabbi to officiate the wedding. We don’t belong to any congregation and I have been calling our local temples. The asking price for a 25 minute ceremony is anywhere from $800 to $2000. It’s way above their budget and it doesn’t include $250 to rent chuppah.
Some graduates of a Divinity school are able to marry people. Also, my kids built there own Chupah. Their close friend was making them a quilt, so they used what would be the top for the chupah.
@seal16, if someone in the family has a tallit, just tie the 4 corners to any type of pole and ask four people to hold it. That’s what we did for my S’s backyard wedding last August. The couple’s four siblings held the chuppah and I actually strung twinkle lights from the poles since it was an evening ceremony under the stars. As for an officiant, have you considered asking at a local Chabad, or perhaps a Hillel if there is a university nearby?
DS and FDIL got engaged in January 2020, when their April 2021 wedding date seemed very far away, and there was no pandemic.
Well we made it to April and the wedding is going ahead, but drastically scaled back. Instead of 170 guests, we are allowed 50 at the church and 57 (???) at the country club. This is upstate NY. Most unfortunate is that the US-Canada border remains closed, so none of our Canadian friends and relatives can attend. DS has also had to replace two of his groomsmen, when the original guys couldn’t make it. The best man will give his toast at the reception from the UK via Zoom.
Update: found a rabbi that fits the budget. DD created amazing wedding invitations and Ketubah. She will also be in charge of creating slides about the couple they are going to play at the wedding and putting a life stream of the ceremony for those who can’t attend. And she will be baking large challah for the ceremony.
The wedding happened last Saturday! Beautiful ceremony, fun reception, all went great–but very, very scaled down from the original plans.
The church had quite stringent protocols–four official “wedding greeters” met guests at the church entrances and filled out a two-page questionnaire for each of us. Two out of every three pews were roped off to provide social distancing. The priest allowed members of the wedding party to participate without masks, though she wore one herself for much of the service. Communion was with bread only–wafers (and gluten-free wafers) in individual paper cups.
There was no comparable screening at the reception (country club), but the staff reminded guests that masks were required except when sitting at a table and eating.
All in all, very different from what we expected last January when they got engaged. But DS and DIL were beaming the whole time–and we all felt their happiness.
It’s been awhile since I visited this thread. My oldest recently got engaged. They don’t want to wait long and have begun looking into venues. Prices have jumped in the last few years and everything local is pretty booked for the rest of the year.
Any opinions on a Sept 11 wedding day? Several venues have that date available.
My H’s birthday is that day. We have never associated it with bad things, because that was just one 9/11 out of so many in history that are associated with happier things. Every date has the possibility of carrying sad memories for someone. My grandfather died on Christmas Day, and while my mom was devastated, she continued to celebrate 12/25 as a happy day.
I think this is a new way to make positive associations. The only wrinkle I could see is that some people still refuse to fly on that date. I say go for it!
Had a funeral to go to - mom was only 57 and her sons got married in Oct 2020 and Nov 2020 (so all kids married; daughter married for a few years) - I imagine one of the weddings was delayed with Covid. The mom was healthy then; recent surprise cancer DX and cancer already spread all over. I think it is a comfort for the family that she was present for the weddings in happy times.
This funeral hit home for me as I survived aggressive stage III cancer that was misdiagnosed and went from stage I to stage III in 10 weeks. I am cancer free for over 10 years now, and only residual is my chemo brain - spotty memory, and weight gain. Happy to be here and hope to continue to be healthy if and when DD2 decides to get married - long time BF (they just ‘celebrated’ their 2 year anniversary of dating) but they are not ready yet as they are not currently even working in the same city, and are waiting for more stability and also being under one roof. DD2 is definitely thinking about the kind of wedding she wants.
DD1’s former room-mate is getting married 9/19 with a wedding group of 75. DD1, Bride to Be, and DD2 discussed hair and make up. The friend’s wedding is outdoor Alabama - so concern about hair and make up holding up.
DD1’s wedding was in July (Alabama indoor church wedding and reception in church hall) - limited wedding size to what hall could hold (150). DD had a pre-wedding hair style and hair done by professional on the wedding morning, with make up done by her sister, and sister may have done the other bridesmaid’s make up or fine tuned it - but DD1 didn’t pay a big price for pre-wedding and reasonable for wedding date hair. Styled beautifully with pearl like beads in the braided areas around her face, and styled with the veil in mind and w/o the veil during the reception. Bridesmaids could choose to pay to have hair/make up; DD2 did her own hair and make up, the bride’s make up, and with whatever touch up on the other bridesmaids, they all looked looked great. I did my own make up; I had my hair done on Thursday – I had a short-ish hair style and it looked fine on the wedding day/evening. I had H’s family at my home since they arrived Thursday afternoon and had all the duties for meals and hosting guests, and had made Friday morning hair appointments for MIL and GF of my BIL before Friday travel 100 miles to hotel and rehearsal/rehearsal dinner and festivities. Oh and FIL had forgotten to pack a white shirt so had to send DH over to Kohl’s on Friday morning to procure a shirt for his dad.
So DD2 has been in two other weddings; the first she paid for hair and make up. DD2 has long curly hair which is thick and gorgeous - the hair style held up for the wedding but was falling shortly after the wedding, so DD decided for wedding #2 she could do it herself and save $90. She paid for the professional make up job at both of these other weddings as all the gals were having it done. IDK what she paid on the professional make up at either wedding.
My daughter got married on Sat. 5/1 at the Old South Meeting House in Boston. It was a very small wedding (15 people) but very lovely. It was the first wedding at the venue since Covid lockdown. The people at the OSMH were great and helpful. The reception was at the Mooo Restaurant at the Beacon XV Hotel. We had a cocktail hour on the roofdeck and a wonderful dinner in the Wine Cellar. Flowers were from Kinship Floral, and they were great. We were so lucky to have a dear friend of ours play piano during the ceremony. It’s not what we originally envisioned (much smaller) but honestly the lack of stress was wonderful and everyone had a great time.