<p>But really…some kids do not want to do a sport for multiple seasons. Why is this being pushed? </p>
<p>I’m not a soccer parent but this summer I had a discussion with my niece who was a huge soccer player from a young age. She has now graduated from pharmacy school. She quit in 11th grade and she said that it was such a great decision. She could finally do all the things that she had wanted to try or expand on but couldn’t have done previously because of the arduous soccer time commitments. It was the best decision for her. It was tough for her dad who used to coach the the team, though.</p>
<p>The OP has made it clear that the ultimate decision will be the son’s so all those that comment as if these parents will FORCE the kid to continue to play are off the mark… The parents just want to be sure he is making the decision once he is rested up from HS season and stops because he no longer enjoys the sport, not due to anxiety about game performance or school work. And the OP said her son thought running was boring, so unlikely that cross-country or track are a good option (although many kids find these to be great sports). OP, if you are still reading, note that many posts seem to be about their own issues and pretty far off the mark. </p>
<p>At our largish (by East Coast standards) High School, it is very hard to play soccer for the HS without playing on a competitive Club team in the off-season. As I said before, there are options for kids that don’t make the HS team, but still want to play soccer. This is also true for most sports at our HS including swimming (better swim in the winter and not just on the summer pool team), lacrosse (need summer team) etc. It is also true for being in theater (vocal coach, acting classes, summer theater) and don’t try out for jazz band or higher level orchestra without private lessons and lots of practice. It is just not enough in most “competitive” ECs (or classes for music) in many high schools to not have outside training. Yes, there are kids that manage, but still pretty unusual. </p>
<p>We, too, have been lucky on our club team with really nice parents and supportive coaches. A few kids left for teams that promised more exposure or higher level competition, but most kids that left have either come back, left soccer, or moved to still other teams looking for the best potion. Most of the kids on son’s team play because they love the game: none expect a college scholarship. A this point, most are looking at either D3 schools, playing at the Club level or not at all. My son also played in a winter indoor league with his friends, with very limited adult involvement. The club team has indoor futsal in the winter, which is not “required” and yet most of the boys show up every week because they find it fun. </p>
<p>Of course there area concerns among some parents and players on occasion about playing time or about the team not wining enough, but for the most part it has been a great experience. </p>
<p>Sports are as good an EC as many others showing commitment and requiring time management. Top colleges are also not that excited about admitting straight A students that spend all their time studying. </p>
<p>Too many responses here but I’ll put in one also even though it’ll not mean much.</p>
<p>I was in your son’s situation as well with Cross Country and Track & Field and I decided to quit, mainly because I wanted to focus on academics more. BUT, you should still do other ECs too so that your son could live life and enjoy his only high school experience; admittedly my life has been a bit more dim since I quit (not by a lot though, BUT THIS IS ME). I still do other manageable ECs however that I like. Sports aren’t an impressive EC unless if you are prospective on D1/D2 league play (INCLUDING SCHOLARSHIPS) and a projected athlete in professional league, seriously - out of the top of my head Sports and Music are the most overrated ECs out there. The majority of high school athletes who are seniors QUIT before college (and oh, they regret continuing the sport too besides enriching their high school memories).</p>
<p>Your son needs to make this decision, not you - you’re the only one to persuade him. If you think he makes the wrong choice, he will learn (trust me I’m sure every child has learned by not listening to their actual parents or guardians including me). </p>
<p>Make him do ECs that he LOVES TO DO. This is what pisses me off; colleges want to know the real you, not owner of 50 clubs, 1000+ community hours, 2400 SAT, 5.0 W GPA. Just stop, really. If he is unhappy about being in soccer, oh boy he will have a heck of a time in high school and college admissions. If he’s undecided (which most freshman are sadly), then let him explore of what he’s interested in and go from there. </p>
<p>Seriously, I’ve realized all of this after all of my mistakes in freshman and sophomore year and now everything is falling into my hands since I’m making decisions that I want to do and my life is ∞x better than sophomore year AND me and my mom are now both proud of what’s going on now. The only time you should stop him is if he doing something obviously ludicrous (do I really need to give examples?).</p>
<p>Good luck. I am sure your son will turn out fine. :)</p>
<p>What is your basis for saying sports and music are the most over-rated ECs? Just curious. I agree that people over-estimate the value of various ECs, but not sure that math league is necessarily a better EC than a sports league. </p>
<p>Way off topic… start a Chances thread instead. </p>
<p>I think any EC can be well respected in the college admissions process if the student shows commitment, accomplishment, and leadership (although accomplishment can be a kind of leadership in its own right without a formal leadership title).</p>
<p>Math League is a much better EC than athletic league especially if you can win some competitions because math is an academic subject and colleges are academic institutions. It will help you with SAT and math grades. Math skills are valuable in college and in the workplace. Recreational soccer - not so much.</p>
<p>Rather than get into a debate about which is the best EC, I think we can all agree that the point of ECs is to learn some or all of these things: how to set goals, work towards them, fulfill a role within a group, manage a group, persevere when things do not work the first time, keeping a commitment, etc. I suspect this was really what OP was most concerned about–the things her DS might learn from staying vs stopping. </p>
<p>OP here! Yes, I am still reading! I do appreciate everyone’s input. Never expected this thread to blow up, but then again I didn’t expect it to be featured on the site. Fear not–our son was never thinking of soccer as a route to college. He has no interest in playing in college. I have learned a little more this week: He has performance anxiety related to games. They completely stress him out to the point where he dreads them. He would be happy simply going to practices with his friends. He sees doctors regularly. He is healthy. He is tired because he puts in a long day at school, taking four honors classes, and then puts in two hours of soccer. An early dinner revives him sufficiently to tackle his homework.</p>
<p>As someone who prefers solitary exercise to competition, I am not going to try to convince him to get over this competition anxiety. As long as he keeps up a fitness routine, he’s free to join chess club, biology club, and anything else along those lines that interests him. </p>
<p>^I understand completely. Have seen kids throw up before their race. It is common and the strange thing, that was always a boy, not a girl. Interesting…but the thing is, if he goes thru exercise of building skill to control his emotions now, then he will be better off for the rest of his life. I can see many things in D’s sport that has helped her a lot, she does not realize that, but I do. But she was involved from the age of 5 all thru freshman year at college, involved heavily. And again, she absolutely loved it, including the social part. Competition was a big social event, bonding. And it took about 3 hours every day, including many weekends, competitions were several days and many with prelims and finals. I would never ever go back and erase this part of our lives, it was huge and very rewarding. However, she never neglected her academics, music, art, writing (newspaper editor),.etc. And her stomach was more sensitive during competitions, we had to be very careful about her food and timing of it.<br>
I would not convince anybody one way or another. I am happy for you and your S. that he identified what he likes and not about his sport. I agree, he should stick to his own plan.</p>
<p>Lauriejgs, love your last post. I agree, there’s no point in “making” him want to be competitive in sports. The whole point of sports is the fitness, and as long as he is getting regular healthful activity from some source, that’s what counts. </p>
<p>My older brother loved basketball but hated competition. He simply couldn’t enjoy it because of the pressure, and so he never played in high school. However, there’s no reason to worry that his fitness will decline. My older brother still played basketball all the time, and once he was in college there were tons of guys ready for a pick-up game at the co-rec. </p>
<p>I was in musicals when I was in high school, and I remember how stressful the weeks leading up to show were: at school from 6:30 am to 9:30 pm, never seeing the sun, doing homework in between scenes, being completely unable to study for exams, etc. I can’t imagine having that sort of pressure all musical season long (which is pretty much how sports go these days.) I would of course hope that he chooses some extracurriculars to keep up his resume. Actually, I think that people that aren’t involved in heavy commitment sports are able to join a larger variety of small commitment clubs, which can actually help to beef up a college app and show a well-rounded personality.</p>
<p>I’m glad you’re being supportive of your son! It was probably hard for him to articulate his wishes knowing that his father might be opposed. </p>
<p>Believe it or not, my son manages to work up a sweat on a regular basis by running and jumping around our family room with a soft soccer ball (in the off season). He will sit there and do his homework, taking frequent five- and 10-minute breaks to leap around. It’s probably not great for the floor, but it all adds up to some good cardio. Call him inventive, call him restless, call him what you will–I’ll take it!!!</p>
<p>A few more thoughts:
- For teenaged players, club soccer is from the end of the fall season (if the HS soccer season is fall) until the summer. Most players commit and pay around August. The “season” is from November to June usually, so yes, if you quit after you signed up, you are leaving the team in the lurch possibly. You don’t sign up for fall and spring separately for a club level team.
- Freshman soccer is usually terrible, and in case it isn’t obvious, often gets the worst coach available. HS soccer in general tends to focus on athleticism and size more than soccer skill, and usually has NO impact on whether a player gets recruited in college (not that the OP has that as an issue, but just an indication of the level).</p>
<p>In light of that, I wonder if the freshman soccer is the issue more than the club soccer. Has he given the club soccer a chance this year?</p>
<p>If the money is already gone, I’d suggest that he at least try it. In addition to the sport itself, the camaraderie of being on a team can be a great thing. The freshman team consists of a bunch of players trying to outdo each other to get on the JV team and a bunch of players who just learned how to play. That is not a good environment.</p>
<p>I do agree with the posts about other sports, anything that can be tried through lessons or rec leve.</p>
<p>I don’t really agree with the advice to urge him to do one more season. It’s my observation (from painful experience) that when the time to drop an activity has come, and the family really knows this in its gut, it’s a mistake to continue it. Nobody will be happy about it. I agree about not quitting in midseason (usually), but I’d eat the $1400 rather than spend a season in an activity that has expired for the kid.</p>
<p>I didn’t read ALL the posts on this thread 
so someone may have suggested this already, but TRACK is such a good low stress activity to stay in shape. Every runner is competing against their own best time and the friendships are a big part of the fun. Just a thought. Good luck with your sweet son who wants to do well and his mom and dad who love him so much!</p>
<p>^Yes, if one can run at all. I suppose that soccer player can run. But many out there (including my kid and myself, she is better than me, but I can run exactly 10 steps) simply are not capapble of running. And it is an injury high sport also.<br>
My family is in love with swimming. But it is the most time consumming, I believe that there are 2/day at college (I may be wrong). In club, they start them around 10 y o to have 2/day in summers. I do not know about HS. Maybe 2/day on some days. 2.5 hours daily pracice is a norm at about 10+ if one wants to get results. But everbody wans to swim relay, so it is up to a kid if he gets selected, got to get very fast for that. Very democratic sport as every single team member swims at competitions, including those with some degree of disabilities and those who happen to love it at the tender age of 3.<br>
And the best part - this smell of chlorine, always puts me in the best mood…looking forward every day…</p>
<p>If you can play soccer you can run.</p>
<p>I have to say that I was disappointed when my son gave up cross country and track to concentrate just on soccer. I might even have been guilty of asking him if he didn’t want to reconsider several times, with only my interest in mind (j/k) I found high school XC and track to be the most refreshing activity. Especially in XC, I saw a camaraderie that is just amazing to experience. As runners from different schools and areas crossed the finish, EVERYONE cheered them on regardless of allegiance. People shouted encouraging remarks to kids who were struggling and it didn’t matter where they were from. I even saw a kid who was already done running let a kid from a different school use his shoes and the sole tore off the shoBoth sports are able to accomodate everyone, even those kids who are not athletically gifted, and I have never seen a nicer and more positive group of kids and adults. I ran the snack bar for both sports and loved every minute. When our son made the tough decision to give both up, I admit I was a little sad. </p>
<p>It sounds like the OP has resolved this situation and is probably no longer reading all of our input. Rhandco- soccer seasons depend on location in the country. Here in So. Calif., the club soccer is just ending. High school starts next month and then spring club season starts in Feb/March. It sounds like the OP’s son is just finishing his club season, so probably does not start the spring season for a few months, which is plenty of notice for the team.</p>
<p>Sorry, but those who say track or XC is not competitive has not run it. My son quit track in middle school because “teammates” would shoulder him and other kids to the ground and laugh about it. The coaches couldn’t monitor the entire track.</p>
<p>It has been somewhat different in high school, but the coaches need to hand down the rules.</p>