<p>My youngest went through almost this exact scenario last year in 9th grade with his spring sport - lacrosse. He is an excellent athlete, varsity starter as a 9th grader, projectibility to college lacrosse, but also a highly academic STEM kid and did not really fit in well with the general lacrosse crowd. His coach went to Cal Tech so they got along pretty well. We told him in November that he had until winter break to come up with an alternate plan for exercise during the spring, and “work out on my own” is not good enough. It would have to be structured and scheduled or else he would not follow through (different discussion, not applicable here). He hemmed and hawed and did nothing until we finally signed him up to play.</p>
<p>Anyway, it was terrible. Practices 3:30 to 6:00 five days/week, practice or game Saturday, games often on Sunday. With 5 Honors and 1 college class, bed time was never before midnight. He was tired, miserable and sore for four months. He had no time for any other ECs or time with his school friends. He stuck it out, got in great shape and had a stellar season, managed to hold his grades, but life was not good during the time.</p>
<p>This year, it is rec soccer (he had been playing club) in the fall, winter skiing, then spring coed rec soccer. It is a little different for us to see him playing such low level sports, but life is much better for him. Our older two managed their competitive sports, including XC, through the end of HS (S1 had signed to play in college but got a career-ending injury) and that was their choice. With our youngest, despite his athleticism, his ambitions are purely academic and he is now much happier.</p>
<p>The caveats: monitor him and make sure he stays somewhat busy as kids who are used to structured time can flounder with choices for unstructured time; make sure he stays physically active in some way; gauge his moods as there is often a funk they go through after giving up a lifelong sport. Good luck to that boy of yours.</p>
<p>Thanks Lauriejgs for the elaboration ,which makes sense. I would have LOVED my middle son to be more academically focused when he was in high school (sigh). Glad my post about art schools and interior design programs helped. I am thinking of writing a book about art schools and discussing them in more depth regarding admission, portfolio tips, comparative strengths and weaknesses and even pictures of the schools. It is a big commitment,which I am not sure I am able to handle now.</p>
<p>As I said above, I am a high believer in the life-long benefits of sports. You want to encourage BOTH the strong mind and the strong body. I also believe parents need to think independently about what is best for their own kids in both college and sports. It is really easy to get swayed by the groupthink here that only 3 colleges matter and only certain sports are legit. The kid has to have intrinsic motivation and the important thing in sports or college is finding a great fit in which the kid can blossom and thrive…</p>
<p>As I said above, parents can encourage kids to try other sports. There are plenty of sports out there along a spectrum of competitive stress. This article even says some college coaches now prefer the multi-sport kids since they are more well-rounded and better athletes. I can vouch for that from personal experience. </p>
<p>I know we are talking about sports, but the same goes for academics. High School is a time to experiment. Give the kids a bit of space to try a lot of things and you may be surprised how much they can accomplish.</p>
<p>Finding the right fit for your child is how you win the college search game. And by that I mean give the kids the freedom to find their true fit, regardless of what the Jones family is doing.</p>
<p>My son’s essay was about time management and sports. I feel it is rather unique as he has major commitments to three ECs, and leadership roles in the two non-sport ECs. Yes, his grades have suffered somewhat (as has our family life LOL). And he had a concussion as well that had a big influence on grades.</p>
<p>A few points I agree with:
get him reffing if he likes soccer and knows the rules well. It is a GREAT job with GREAT money if you go for the US Soccer Grade 8 license (have to be 16) and the money isn’t bad to ref rec games either
he should quit if he knows he wants to for sure
he should talk to his dad about it, if they both have anxiety issues</p>
<p>A few points I disagree with:
“quitting doesn’t make him a quitter” - what does that mean? If he has a good reason to quit, he still quit. The OP’s implication is that he signed up for fall and spring and is not planning to do spring. That is quitting. Whether it is for a good reason or not, it is quitting.
-" he has to quit and not do any other sports because all sports are a huge time commitment" My son has participated in multiple sports where there was one hour per week, and maybe one or two hours a season of optional training. Rec sports are possible, and enough kids don’t want a huge time commitment that the level might be better than one thinks.
“he is mature to quit” I don’t buy that. We don’t know him, we don’t know if he is panicking about a totally new situation. He has told his parents of his decision, which is mature, instead of just making excuses every time soccer comes up and not going. Giving up may be a sign of maturity or immaturity.</p>
<p>Good luck with him @lauriejgs. The dialogue has been started. And your point about “he has to learn some time to manage his time” is very true. My son went from 2 - 5 hours per week of soccer up to 20+ hours per week of soccer. He really had to love it to put up with that much time, and we had to truly believe he loved it to drive him around to it and pay for it.</p>
<p>And now he has an essay submitted all about time management :)</p>
It sounds like your wisdom has been helpful to art parents. </p>