A Sense of Impending Doom

Applying to College
1

<p>Many may not know this, but that is actually a medical symptom. However, in my case, it is not linked to the diagnosis of a psychological issue. It is what I am going to feel for two and a half more years. It is going to be very hard for me to get over it. By now, you are perplexed, and so I will further elaborate.</p>

<p>I am a freshman and I know that I will not get into any of my dream schools. That is the sense of impending doom. I know that I will get a plethora of rejection letters when the time comes. I simply do not have the resources to get accepted to all of the schools that I have aspired to attend for my degree of higher education. It is not a matter of prestige, contrary to what many may think. I am not the shallow type that wants to go to Harvard because it's name carries heavy weight in society. A degree is a title you carry for the rest of your life; it goes to the grave with you.</p>

<p>I want my college years to be significant. I want them to make a difference in my life. Sure, you may say any college will make a difference, but it is becoming hard to communicate the kind of difference that I mean. I just can not compete with the type of people I see get in to these institutions. The institutions I speak of are those such as Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Brown, MIT, Columbia, Chicago, Duke, Cornell, Stanford, U Penn, Johns Hopkins, Northwestern, CMU, U of Washington St. Louis, UC Berkeley. The abovestated institutions of higher education are all universities that I wish I could attend in the future. Many of you will say, "Hey, you are only a freshman, you still have two years to become a valedictorian, get a 2400 on the SAT, do 1000 volunteer hours, start 15 clubs, become president of the student body, become varsity captain of multiple sports teams, and save the children in Africa." Do you get my point now? I am working as hard as I can, but that will never happen to me. I cringe when I see the type of people that get accepted into the top schools on CC posting their statistics. I know I will never accumulate such a plethora of awards, become the best at everything I do, and be an underrepresented minority to put the icing on the cake.</p>

<p>It feels like the only people that go to the universities I go to are poor geniuses, middle class geniuses, wealthy geniuses, or wealthy, average kids. They have guidance. They pay 40 G's to a private counselor to get their kids special hookups, tell their kids exactly what to do, and exactly what to write about in the essay. I will never have any of these hookups. The best I can do is UT Austin. A lot of people will say that is perfect for me, I am in the top 10% and get immediate admittance to what some people call a worldclass institution. It is not where I want to go, it is where people think I should go. It will be a safety school that I feel like I inevitably will have to attend.</p>

<p>Spending so much time reading books on and researching college admissions is only making me feel worse, only confirming my beliefs. On the academic index, my GPA and rank is not competitive. As far as recommendations go, I know that every teacher will be too lazy to help me get in to my dream colleges. They will have nothing pertinent to say about me because it is not like me to suck up to my teachers, I just can't. I can join clubs, but I will not be popular enough to ascend to a status such as president. Plus, I will be preoccupied with a higher than usual courseload, graduating one year early.</p>

<p>It feels like the only way to do things right is if I had somebody to guide me, but nobody in my family has gotten into elite colleges. True, there are a few doctors in my family, but they went to the closest state university and the closest medical school afterwards. I feel like I could get into a top college paying $40,000 to an elite college counselor, but that would never EVER happen, and I know they will all be scams.</p>

<p>I know that I could thrive in any of the universities that I dream I could attend, but nobody else will ever know that. I feel clinically depressed; not all of the time, just when I think about how I will never go where I always dreamed I could. I am not seriously a psych patient, but I feel a sense of impending doom when I think about university. This is not something that will pass; it will not pass until the day the thin envelopes come in the mail. What can I do?</p>

2

<p>calm down. i’ll post more later.</p>

3

<p>So you have convinced yourself that the only way for your college experience to have an impact on your life is to go to a top 20 school. It appears that you have been enticed by the “brand name” of colleges based off of your list. Could you please explain the difference between the 16 schools you mentioned and all of the other colleges that you mention in your second paragraph?</p>

<p>I saw your thread a while ago about how you would do anything to get into MIT. You’re not going to be happy if you make your whole high school experience about getting into college. High school should be a time where you get an education and do things to improve yourself, not to get into college. Many bright, talented students have to go to schools outside of the top 20, whether it be due to financial circumstances, rejection from higher ranked schools, or other circumstances. The students who don’t make the purpose of their young lives to get into an elite school are happy.</p>

<p>It’s pretty obvious that you have convinced yourself that you are defined by the college you will attend and that you have made yourself believe that you have destroyed your future despite your high grades. I don’t think I, or anyone, can really convince you otherwise, but you’ll never be happy unless you can learn to accept the future (and that you don’t know what will happen in the future) and to lose your defeatist attitude.</p>

4

<p>I will admit that, when I made that thread about MIT, I was only beginning to delve into the world of college. I was just learning the basic concepts; at that time I did not know that such a thread would represent an immature person who solely cares about name. I know better than to focus on a single school now. I have not convinced myself that I have to go to Harvard to have a different experience. I have, however, convinced myself that going to the nearest state university will be nothing special, and that is based upon looking at my relatives. They never made any effort to apply to any university other than the local university, at which they can get a full ride and graduate with a 4.0 GPA. Then, they go on to make a subpar score on the MCAT and get into the nearest local medical school. I do not want to take the easy way out. I want a completely new experience, a completely new challenge. I want to get away from Texas and experience different cultural life during my college years. I want to take demanding courses lead by world renowned educators with a deep fervor for their subjects of teaching. I want to go farther than I am told I can. My sister is studying at the local state university. She told me she used to be like me, but she gave up. She said I will never get to go to those big, known universities. I will never get good enough grades and my teachers will be too lazy to write good recommendations. She crushed my dreams and told me it was the truth.</p>

5

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<li><p>You seem overly pessimistic without reason to be. You’re making lagre generalizations without any evidence to back them up. At best your pessimism is based on anecdotal evidence, things you’ve heard from other students/friends in your immediate area. It’s ridiculous to be so pessimistic “just because”.</p></li>
<li><p>More importantly, what does it matter if you go to a top ranked school? You seem to be attracted to them because they are highly ranked or regarded, which to me is silly. A school like Duke is vastly different from a school like MIT; you shouldn’t want to go to a college just because it is highly ranked, you should want to go there because you think you’ll be happy there.</p></li>
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<p>You might say that happiness for you is going to a highly regarded university and getting a high paying job or something along those lines, but will you walk around that school every day thinking “Im at a top 20 school right now!” or “Im gonna have a high paying job at the end of this four years!”? These schools are ranked highly for a reason, you should find out those reasons and see if they line up with your definition of personal happiness. Be yourself and dont make your sole purpose in highschool to get into an Ivy, because you’ll find out that these colleges want individuals, not applicants. What happens then if you make high school about getting into a “good” college and you don’t get in anywhere? You’ll be bitter and angry and you’ll have set yourself up for that. Don’t do that.</p>

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<li>I know 2. was long, but hang in there. Don’t go on CC a lot. All of the kids on this site are neurotic and ridiculous. Going on this website will just increase your anxiety about the whole process.</li>
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<p>You’re a freshman in highschool. You should listen to the people who’ve already gone through four years of high school and not worry about things. A lot can change in 4 years, be yourself but work hard and everything will work out. College isn’t the most important thing in life, it’s just four years of it.</p>

6

<p>Check your inbox OP. I sent you something.</p>

7

<p>You do not necessarily need a 4.0 GPA, 2400 SAT, and 1000 service hours to get into those schools. In fact, you would have an above average chance at the high Ivies with just that and no other special talents.</p>

<p>I do have to question your list a bit, however. You say you don’t want to go to a school like Harvard just for the prestige but you list a number of schools that have nothing in common besides being prestigious.</p>

<p>If you are interested in medicine (correct me if I’m wrong, but I inferred this from your second post) than I wouldn’t be specifically looking at any of those except for m maybe Johns Hopkins and Duke. Bear in mind that a high GPA is important for med school (all grad schools, really) so going somewhere like Princeton that has very tough grading might not be a stellar idea to begin with.</p>

<p>I suggest thinking more about what schools are good more your major and fit with your personality and interests. If I were allowed to simply pick what college I were going to, I probably would not chose any of those on your list simply because none of them specifically appeal to me. There actually are great academic opportunities everywhere.</p>

<p>In any case, if you had decent ECs (a legitimate commitment in a few activities relevant to you), a GPA in the 3.7-3.9 range, a tough course load, top 10% class rank, and a 2000-2200 SAT, than you would probably get in to at least one of those schools. Those qualifications are as impossible to attain as you might think as long as you are a) intelligent and b) determined. You do not have to be perfect, just very good.</p>

<p>As a complete side note, my school is mediocre and many people get into Cornell. It’s not as hard as you think, just make sure you focus on the right things.</p>

8

<p>You still have bought into the brand names of many research universities. The schools you listed aren’t the only ones with good faculty and bright students, and certainly not the only ones with demanding courses. You’ve also taken liberal arts colleges and masters universities (the term US News uses) completely out of your scope, which further suggest that you’ve bought into brand names.</p>

<p>If you believe what your sister told you, it may come true. If, however, you try to do your best in school, find activities outside of class that you like, build relationships with your teachers that aren’t just handing in assignments (which you can do without brown-nosing), and not make your high school experience all about college, you’ll be happier and have pleasant results. You may not get into a top 20 school (too early to start predicting now), but you’ll find colleges that are right for you. There aren’t just the top 20 universities and UT Austin (which is not as horrible as you make it out to be).</p>

<p>Also, do yourself a favor and leave CC for about 1.5 years. It’ll stress you out too much.</p>

9

<p>I appreciate your responses. The reason I think I will be happy at schools that happen to be very prestigious is because I want to become a Physician, and being a Physician is about living a life in pursuit of education. I want to get the best education that I can, I want vast intelligence to be my greatest trait. I want to experience a top school. Right, US News does say it is one of the best, but how do you think it got on that list anyways? It offers better education than anywhere else, along with other factors such as student satisfaction and the quality of the professors. Getting into a top university is a luxury, and don’t we all want luxuries? Wouldn’t you rather live in a large estate than a small house? Would you rather take a ride in the 1995 Nissan Altima or the 2010 Maybach?</p>

10

<p>Look at Colleges that Change lives. It’s an interesting book. All across the country there are people who are learning from experts and who are making friends, building careers and embracing life. </p>

<p>In your town there are people who belong to the country club and golf or play tennis there. Do you think your life would have no happiness, no meaning, no future if you didn’t belong to that club? Chances are, if you know your community at all, your response is “heck, no!” There are tons of things to do and lots of amazing people who are other places than the country club. In fact, the country club set may be jaded and boring. </p>

<p>You do register as a snob. Anyone who earns a degree knows something of work. Anyone who earns an MD anywhere also is a person to be respected. Lastly, the world does not always “renown” the best educators or thinkers. Many big prizes go to those who play the political kiss up games in their field. </p>

<p>One of the most amazing biologists I ever met was tucked away at a teeny college in Silver City, NM. Why there? Because he AVOIDED the kiss up games of prize chasing and spent his time on research and on educating students. With your current attitude your life will never cross paths with a clever cat like that one. </p>

<p>And, just so you know, one of my kiddos is at an elite school. He didn’t have guidance from any of his family (we supported him wholeheartedly in his efforts but we didn’t know diddly squat about college admissions and we sure as heck didn’t pay a penny to a GC). He worked his heinie off – and his teachers were happy to write strong letters for him because he was hardworking (oh, and respectful. I do think teachers tend to know when a kid sneers at them. You might try being respectful). </p>

<p>Anyway, if you want elite, you are going to have to work for it. That means being social. It means being positive. </p>

<p>Alternatively, you can find any one of a gazillion paths that are not gilded with a well known window decal but are worthwhile and interesting.</p>

11

<p>Isn’t it shallow to consider something the best just because someone else says it is? You should also know that US News rankings are biased, and some schools don’t even buy into that and refuse to be ranked. Isn’t an education a qualitative, subjective thing? Isn’t it unreasonable to try and fit something so difficultly quantified into a nice scale of rankings? And isn’t it more unreasonable to take these rankings as absolute fact?</p>

<p>I’m still not entirely sure you want to go to a top school for the education and not the prestige. Isn’t it possible to get a great education at a non-top 20 school? Aren’t there things in the world that you just can’t learn at Harvard or Princeton or whatever top tier school you could name? </p>

<p>Intelligence isn’t something that can be quantified and put into a little box that you receive when you graduate from a prestigious college.</p>

12

<p>Poor you <em>hug</em>. Honestly, calm down. It’s not so bad.</p>

<p>

You don’t need to do any of those things.

Again, you don’t need to do any of those things.

They aren’t. We aren’t. I’m not. My friends aren’t. I’ve never known anyone successful at top schools who paid a private counselor. I’ve never known anyone accepted at Ivies+ who didn’t do the majority or all of their ECs because s/he loved them. I’ve never known anyone lucky at their number one who wrote essays that were anything other than from the heart, his or her heart, not the heart of his or her parents.
We have parents who we might ask to read our essays, who we might ask to check that we have crossed our t’s, dotted our i’s. Or we might not tell them anything about our apps. We have counselors who we work on getting to know, but they’re school counselors, not private ones. We have CC. Well, some of us. The vast majority of us don’t have any more guidance than is available to you.

Your teachers won’t be too lazy, most likely. If they are, don’t worry. Colleges evaluate you based on your background. If your teachers just don’t know how to write a rec to top schools, tell them. Just don’t be patronizing. Maybe give them [url=<a href=“http://www.mitadmissions.org/topics/schools/writing_evaluations/index.shtml]this[/url”>http://www.mitadmissions.org/topics/schools/writing_evaluations/index.shtml]this[/url</a>].
You don’t need to suck up to your teachers. I feel like you’re probably a sympathetic person. Some of them will like you a great deal.

You don’t need to be president of a club. Colleges don’t care about titles; they care about involvement. A member can be as heavily involved as he or she wants to be. Or just do activities outside of school. Work with Habitat for Humanity every summer, get a job after school, or do sports through another path, whatever you like.

Happily, that just isn’t true.</p>

<p>You’re probably tired of hearing, “just wait and see,” but it’s good counsel. Your sense of being fated to failure is not going to be the determining factor in your college decisions (except that studies show a correlation with believing one will fail and failing, no matter one’s skills. So end the self-fulfilling prophecy now, eh?)
Take the SAT. Take the ACT. Look at your GPA. Look at your writing skills (which seem to be pretty good). Do you match up with top college profiles? Great. Then apply to top colleges and see what happens. Do you not match up with top college profiles? You are going to get so much better.
These are my 8th grade SAT scores: M 640, CR 640, W 550. I was a bit younger then than your are now. I got so much better. Everyone does.</p>

<p>I thought my life was over when I was about your age. That it ended with the last day of school freshman year. It had nothing to do with academics, but I feel like the advice I received would apply to anyone who thought that their brief time in the sun was over at 14: for almost everyone, it just can’t be. That is, wherever you end up, life goes on.</p>

13

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<p>A high number of schools do practices that don’t improve the quality of their education, but still improve their rank.</p>

14

<p>“The reason I think I will be happy at schools that happen to be very prestigious is because I want to become a Physician, and being a Physician is about living a life in pursuit of education”</p>

<p>Dude, you really need to chill. I’m a physician, and I can tell you that where you do your undergraduate work, or even medical school, is not all that relevant to achieving a high level of success in the profession. The most important factors in your medical education will be: 1) the specialty you choose, and 2) where you do your residency and fellowship programs, and 3) the type of setting in which you choose to practice (eg, academia, research, clinical practice, etc). Nothing else matters. I went to a decent undergraduate college (not a top 20 by any means), a very good medical school (in Boston), but my career has been defined by where I did my fellowship training (Stanford). </p>

<p>I’m telling you, and you don’t have to believe me, attending MIT, Harvard, Princeton, Stanford, etc., etc., as an undergraduate will not guarantee you success in a career in medicine. It might not even give you a significant advantage in applying to medical schools.
I had several classmates in my medical school class who came from Harvard and other Ivys, and they were no more or less impressive than some classmates who came from “Podunk U.” And they certainly have not achieved any more or less success than those who did their undergraduate work in non-elite colleges.</p>

<p>You get out of your undergraduate education what you put into it. You sound like the kind of guy who will get into a very good undergraduate school. You’ll have an opportunity to excel wherever you are. </p>

<p>Enjoy high school. Be cool. It will all work out.</p>