<p>So I just finished my 2nd year in college and my little sister is entering college this fall. Our relationship is quite complicated because my role far exceeds being a brother to her. I'm her second parent. I'm the one that calls her at 1:30 AM to tell her to go home. I'm the one that edits all of her Gates essays and read over her college essays before she submitted them. I'm the one that scheduled teacher-parent conference in high school to resolve issues she's having. All in all, I'm tired of this role, but I care so much for my little sister that I can't stand to watch her fall. </p>
<p>I want to have a closer relationship with her as she enters college. I want her to call me to share with me her doubts, happiness, fears, etc. </p>
<p>What do you recommend?</p>
<p>My parents are immigrants and they don't speak English. That is why I'm carrying the responsibility.</p>
<p>It's tough being a parent while being a full time student. Your sister has to finally gain some responsibility and look out for herself. Just tell her you'll always be there when she needs you and she can call you anytime for anything.</p>
<p>It's tough being a parent, period. But I'm not disagreeing with your point, kevintech.</p>
<p>staticsoliloquy, you have my highest admiration for what you have done, are still doing and want to do.</p>
<p>May I suggest you post this question in the Parent Cafe? There is a tremendous amount of wisdom there and I know you will get good advice.</p>
<p>Some parents have kids who talk with them readily, easily and frequently. Some get TMI. Some of us (I'm in this camp) have great kids and are good parents (if I do say so myself), but our kids don't talk to us as much. (We moms sometimes laughingly call it the Cone of Silence). So, the amount of communication from your sister may ebb and flow and the amount of it at any given time doesn't necessarily reflect the importance of your relationship in her eyes.</p>
<p>Still, I think you might get some good tips from folks on the Parent Forum.</p>
<p>Am I also picking up that you are "tired" of the role because your sister is a handful, sort of testing the limits in some of her behaviors? That is yet another issue and, again, one you could get valuable insight about on the Parent Board.</p>
<p>In order to have better relationship with your sister, I believe that you should act more as a friend rather then as a parent. I understand that you care about her, and worry about her. But in order for her to communicate with you easily, you need to start acting more like a friend.</p>
<p>In the absence of details, I can't say much about your specific situation. However, mentor's can usually measure their success on how assured they feel when their student is put up to the test: the real world. </p>
<p>Mentors sometimes get caught up in their anxieties and worries that they forget to do what's best for who they are mentoring. Sheltered into a dependency so to speak.</p>
<p>Instead of asking her to call you about her feelings, you could instead tell her what to expect or how to handle certain situations, etc.</p>