<p>This is an exciting week for many college seniors and their parents. But it is also a week of heartbreak and disappointment for many. I just want to offer a friendly suggestion to students and parents alike to be careful when you discuss college decisions with friends, relatives, etc. You may mention in passing that your child was accepted at xyz university, but she is not planning to go there - it was just her safety school - without realizing that for the person you are speaking to - that was her daughter's number one choice and she is waitlisted. It's hard to contain your pride and excitement when your child has an array of acceptances to choose from, but you may find that other families are licking their wounds and reevaluating the merits of their safety schools right about now. So, congratulations to those of you with great results, and hang in there to those of you experiencing disappointment, but let's all be gracious.</p>
<p>Good point. You want your kid to have a chance to celebrate, but you don’t want it to hurt anyone’s feelings. You want your kid to be able to have thier hurt feelings, but you don’t want to ruin anyone else’s celebration. It’s a tough time period between april 1 and May 1…After that, though, I think most people are more about graduation and “I’m so sad and so excited, and I can’t believe we’re never going to be together this way again, ever.”</p>
<p>It’s very sentimental, but sweet. </p>
<p>Good luck to all!</p>
<p>Whether they go to a Harvard/Stanford/Caltech/etc or a state university, all students will have the opportunity to suceed in life. The drive of the student will be far more important than the name of the college.</p>
<p>And remember, the hard work has only begin. A large percentage of students (1/4 to 1/2) won’t graduate from college. So remember - when that smug kid going is Caltech has proud parents today, there is a good chance they won’t be so proud come 1 year, 2 year, or 3 years later.</p>
<p>Thank you, rockville mom, for reminding everyone about what a challenging month this can be. It is a time of high emotion for many reasons, and that goes for our children as well as their friends. </p>
<p>Comments about college options should follow the etiquette rule used for brides and babies - universally positive. It’s someone’s future, after all, and every kid wants to think he or she is on the brink of great success. Let them enjoy their moment.</p>
<p>It’s threads like this one that make me wish CC had a “like” button a la facebook. :)</p>
<p>Thanks for the reminder. I also would “like” this thread 
D is anticipating a situation this week where she “may” (or very well may not) get into a school and she has already moved past them; her good friends have also applied & it’s his/her dream school. Statistically speaking, they probably won’t get in. D has already decided to say nothing about an acceptance (if she gets one) because she doesn’t want to hurt feelings. Another growing up lesson, I suppose, but I’m really hoping that the friend gets in for many reasons!</p>
<p>bigtrees…you always seem to put that very negative spin insert on many of the threads. Have you had a bad experiece that you need to talk about??</p>
<p>Thanks for the reminder…and also for the reminder that getting into an elite college is not a ticket to professional success, especially in the business world.</p>
<p>Did you all know that most CEO’s went to state universities and not ivy league colleges?</p>
<p>Sorry, I’ll stop being so negative.</p>
<p>It’s a reflection on my experience - half of engineering majors (probably all majors overall) drop out before graduation. I made a ton of friends freshman year of college, and then by sophmore year every one of them dropped out of college! Some of them were smart kids too! </p>
<p>I’m simply tempering the excitment. Getting accepted by college is a great step. It’s something showy and something that you can exclaim with jubilee that your son/daughter got accepted into college! But the the real pride should come 4 or 5 years later when they graduate.</p>
<p>Since we’re in reminder mode, it’s also good to be positive when your kid’s friend says “the only place I was admitted was at [lousy State U].”</p>
<p>The best response is a very sincere “Congratulations! Great school, good for you!”</p>
<p>The same graciousness applies double to Facebook which spreads the news of college decisions very quickly.</p>
<p>bigtrees, I agree with you. I thought the same thing a few weeks back when an article came out praising an inner-city charter school because 100% of the seniors were admitted to four-year colleges. Well, great first step. For many of them, that may turn out to be a negative – because they got in, they will borrow a lot of money to attend, but they won’t graduate. Now they are worse off than before. I hope that that isn’t the case, but it’s good to remember that the results this week tell us very little about where the kids will be in 5 years. Some of this week’s “losers” might surprise us all.</p>
<p>Thank you for this reminder! It’s especially important because CC tends to be a high-achieving community(not to stereotype). </p>
<p>I know that the schools I would never consider attending(not that they are bad, just not for me) are some of my classmate’s first choices, so I will be extra careful to only voice the positives</p>
<p>As a parent of an '09 and a '11, I am very curious as to where all the '10s I know were accepted. Good reminder to keep my mouth shut tight this week (and the next few) and to only offer congratulations when good news is shared.</p>
<p>Actually, bigtrees, most Caltech parents will still be proud in four years. The 2008 graduation rate was 88%, so only twelve percent will be boo-hooing.</p>
<p>MIT offers even more optimism, with a 94% graduation rate. Perhaps state schools, where almost anyone can declare themselves engineering majors, see the most attrition.</p>
<p>In our case, tactfulness begins at home, as I’m reminded yet again NOT to ask if any email has arrived! Ice-cream awaits whatever news may be.</p>
<p>At my kids high school seniors don’t wear their college of choice shirt until senior week in May when most kids have decided where they were going. I have to say, when D1 was a senior her class showed a lot of support for each other.</p>
<p>"Since we’re in reminder mode, it’s also good to be positive when your kid’s friend says “the only place I was admitted was at [lousy State U].”</p>
<p>The best response is a very sincere “Congratulations! Great school, good for you!” </p>
<p>Yes, and on this site as well. I’m new to this site and have quickly learned that the majority of posters here are in pursuit of the very top schools. It tends to get annoying, there are many of us who hesitate to post on the acceptance threads for fear of being looked down upon.</p>
<p>Reminds me of my MIL, all her grandchildren (my nieces and nephews) attended the very best schools and grad schools in the country if not the world, and when my son announced that he wanted to apply to Providence, Loyola and BC, she responded “Those aren’t very good colleges, are they?”.</p>
<p>Ouch. Way to be tactful grandma. :(</p>
<p>There’s something to be said for getting old(er) and forgetful. When people tell me where their kid was accepted, I forget it immediately! It’s all I can do to remember where they are actually going…</p>
<p>I keep reminding D about this, sort of in reverse. She’s usually very tactful and sensitive to others but this week her patience was tested by a good friend. D got into her ED college and is very happy. Her good friend applied to the same school (it wasn’t the friend’s first choice though),was deferred, and found out this week that she was waitlisted. Naturally the friend spent the next day making sour grapes comments about the school and generally running it down. D came home ticked - she LOVES her school and she had hoped they could just not discuss this school at all around each other. I reminded her of how hurt she’d have felt if they had rejected her. </p>
<p>Yes, this time of year is a minefield for everyone…</p>
<p>But to put things in perspective, a boy in D’s class is spending this week keeping vigil at his 21 year old sister’s bedside, who is very seriously ill with a leukemia relapse (or maybe its life-threatening side effect of treatment, I’m not sure). I doubt he’s terribly worried about his college acceptances right now.</p>