Hi! I go to the local community college online. I’ve been on academic warning/probation twice now. My grades aren’t good at all (despite being an AP student in high school). This semester in my philosophy class, I’ve managed to not turn in a second midterm (excuse me as I’m EXTREMELY salty over the fact this guy gave two midterms and one of them being the week before finals), and also the final- which was required to be a video with other people interacting in it. Unfortunately, I have anxiety, a bad home life, and multiple mental illnesses (Depression, Anxiety, Eating Disorder)- not to mention a crappy iPhone 5 with no video camera which makes it super complicated to upload videos. I also work overnights and occasionally through day time as well. The point of me taking classes online was so that I didn’t have to deal with stuff like that- but regardless, I know its all my fault anyways. I’m just super scared. Me not doing those assignments means I’ll have failed my second class in my time in college. In classes that I do like (and feel they pertain to my major) I do well in, but absolutely have no energy or motivation or understanding to do well in the ones I don’t- therefore meaning I am known to have not good grades, still passing, but not excellent. I recently applied to transfer to a four year school with a different major, and now I’m afraid I won’t be accepted (it is known for being one of those “you apply youre automatically in” type schools). Basically, my question is- how many times can you screw up before youre kicked out? Thanks in advance.
My oldest son sounds like you. He had no motivation for the classes that he wasn’t interested in. After three semesters at community college, I pulled the money plug. He had earned a total of 14 credits. He now works for the post office and if he wants to go back to college, he can but on his own dime. Maybe it’s time for you to go into the working world for awhile and that might give you the motivation to take those other classes. OTOH, my son likes the money he is making. Does it upset it me that a kid with an IQ in the profoundly gifted range is a mailman? It sure does, but throwing away good money after refusal to get passing grades, of which he was capable, upset me more.
As for your original question - it depends on what you gpa is. Consult the handbooks for the college you are in and the one you are hoping to go to. However, I urge you to think really hard about the costs of all of this financially to you and your parents.
Good luck.
Hey 
Thank you for replying. Well, I pay my own way through school- so its all on me, regardless. But I’ve been in the working world the whole time, and I think that’s really part of the problem. I’ve never had the chance to just “go off to college” because I’ve got bills and responsibilities that I can’t just leave behind. Currently, I’m a supervisor of a homeless shelter where I work full time, if not more per week. I also take care of an elderly man and babysit a few days out of the week. This usually means I’m working from 11pm at night through 3 or 4pm the next day…I’m constantly exhausted. But I have no possible way of getting motivation for those classes. I am able to accomplish the work the majority of the time- but for big assignments where they stray from the whole purpose of taking online classes, it really screws me over.
Are you in therapy? If you have these issues, maybe you need to address them before you waste more money. This may sound harsh, but it isn’t meant to be, but it almost seems as though you don’t want to succeed, subconsciously. Work on your mental health because you will have a hard time going forward without finding a way to get past the other issues you face. Good luck.
Hi! Thank you for replying. Unfortunately, I come with a long list of issues- mental, physical, and sexual abuse history, childhood trauma, and the three illnesses I’ve listed. There’s no way I’m going to be able to address them more than I already am (with therapy) without feeling even more like a failure for taking time off of college. I’m very passionate about the things I study, but unfortunately the unnecessary classes are really the ones screwing it up for me and it feels like a block has been put on my brain. Plus, for courses like math especially, I took in high school the same math course for THREE years and couldn’t pass. It just makes me assume the worse for college. That, and my hectic work schedule which make it extremely hard to not be tired 24/7. But you are right, I’m constantly thinking of how not to succeed to stay in my illnesses, but then the other half of me is demanding I do succeed. If I don’t, I don’t see myself living very much longer. And I know just saying that is a red flag- but college is the only thing I have left…
Right now, it seems like you’re making school a poor substitute for what you really need, which is more intensive mental healthcare. It’s true that throwing yourself into a major you’re passionate about might suppress your negative thoughts and behaviors. It might provide you with some sense of self-worth and purpose. But those things should come from within you. Because “success” in college is not guaranteed, and even if you do graduate, then you’re going to always have to find something else to stop you from spiraling into your illnesses. Moreover, the unchecked stress, depression, and unhealthy coping mechanisms are going to cause some kind of burnout or breakdown in the long run.
I implore you, if you can, join an inpatient or outpatient program for people with eating disorders or ask your therapist to refer you to an affordable psychiatrist. If you have to take some time off from school, it’s what you need to do.
As for your original question, I guess it depends on the school. You should check its website if it has one; there should be details somewhere about the repercussions of poor academic performance. At my school, you are on probation for two semesters, then suspended for a semester, then suspended for a year, then permanently dismissed. But it also might be different for the case of online schooling.
If you do get the chance to transfer, I highly recommend seeking out an academic advisor, being in closer contact with your professors, and/or not taking all of your classes online. You need someone to hold you accountable to getting the work done for the classes you aren’t motivated for. When I’m depressed and have no internal motivation, I usually find having that external source of motivation to be helpful.
Hey. You’re absolutely right. I guess I was just hoping that at least if I graduated, I’d have success in something and therefore my problems would vanish…I know that’s a naive thought to have. It just seemed like if I got my degree- I’d get the job I wanted in a setting I want it in (which is a school counselor- the exact type of atmosphere I’d like to be in), and if I had that, then I’d have the perfect hours for a family (and since I’d be in a setting where I’d be meeting people- then I’d get the chance to actually meet the man to start a family with lmao), and then everything would be as normal as it could be. But, as you can see, I romanticize a lot from one small thing, and clearly my illnesses won’t just disappear from graduating from college or any of that…it just seems my whole life of 21 years is a breakdown/burnout (sorry if this seems really ranty/venty/whiney? I don’t mean to bother you with more of this).
I’m seeking help for the depression and anxiety- and I had recovered from my ED but gaining weight over the past year in recovery has sent me spiraling back into my ED- and I’m not ready to recover once more until I do restrict to a weight I want (or thats low enough that when I do gain back weight from recovery, I’ll still be satisfied) at which point I’d be willing to recover alongside a team (dietician, therapist, psychiatrist) to make sure what happened last time doesn’t happen again. It sounds incredible dense and with false hope- but I’ve experienced recovery and relapse. I didn’t accept my body, but I did know what it felt like to not be so traumatized with self-hate from eating at one point. Now I just need the body and that lack-of-feeling back. I’m realistic with myself- for me, I know there’s no such thing as being happy in a body that’s not up to society’s basic standards.
Back to the original point, I checked the website but my school isn’t very up-to-date on advanced technology. Because I work so much and have anxiety, if I am able to transfer, I’ll still have to do online classes, but I already looked at their class requirements for my degree and its the material I know I am able to do. I’m just hoping they aren’t like my current college where they pull day-student type stuff. Like trying to make me do group projects online, video stuff with other people, and, in one specific class, specializing one specific day as a test day (aka, I’m giving you your final on Thursday, you only have that day to do it)…The whole point of me going online was so I didn’t have to rely on other potentially slacking students, doing the type of work that isn’t feasible in a non-class setting, and having it around my schedule…but this semester they really set me up for failure. And it wasn’t like this in all classes, so much as it was one specific thing (out of my list above) for each class…
Once again, I’m REALLY sorry about all of my whining. Reading what I wrote literally just makes me question how in the hell I think I can be a counselor one day…
Don’t worry about sounding whiny! The point of the forum is to explain your problem and receive advice, lol. And interestingly, many people who have mental health issues go into counseling-type professions, and they’re really good at it. Sometimes it’s just easier helping other people solve their problems than having to deal with your own.
Does your current therapist know about the ED? I’m not sure if your ED is more about body image or maintaining a sense of control. But if it’s the former, you have to let go of the idea that extremely underweight is “society’s basic standards,” because it isn’t. Your self-worth shouldn’t be tied to your appearance at all. Outside of models and some celebrities, most people are recognized primarily for talent, intelligence, courage, kindness, etc., not beauty. Moreover, there are plenty of people considered beautiful who aren’t underweight.
If it’s about the sense of control, you have to learn that nothing bad is going to happen if you’re at a higher weight. I also “recovered” from an ED (as in, gained the weight back) and then relapsed. But then I actually recovered to a level of functionality where I’m no longer engaging in behaviors or constantly obsessing about weight. So it is possible (and was helpful for me) to aim for a goal weight that was on the lower end of what is considered a “healthy range” (as in, not clinically underweight). But to learn to be satisfied with that, you’re going to need to let go of the ED behaviors and realize for yourself that you can eat normally and stay at that same weight. But you have to keep engaging in ED behaviors to stay very underweight; that’s why the goal weight you have right now probably isn’t compatible with “recovery.”
Is there anyone you can contact to get some of your school-related questions answered? If you do transfer, you’ll have to account for the possibility that some of your classes will do the same thing and come up with a game plan. Be proactive about contacting professors; they may be able to be flexible with due dates and such.
I understand the romanticizing and convincing yourself of things that aren’t likely to work out. It’s easier than facing the reality that you can’t live the way you’re living indefinitely. Especially when, on some level, you don’t want to change the way you’re living; you just don’t want it to negatively impact your academic performance. But imagine a life for yourself in which you don’t have body image issues, aren’t wasting time on obsessing over weight, aren’t constantly bouncing between being anxious and depressed, and aren’t constantly exhausted. I know you think it’s more “realistic” to believe that your life can never be like this. But if you’re willing to pretend that it’s attainable and put some concentrated effort towards a future like that, you really can get there.
It seems you go to online college to avoid confronting things you don’t like. The world is full of things all of us don’t like. Focus on what you do like, and DEAL with what you don’t like. That’s life, and we all have to deal with crap. You have to take classes you don’t like, and that’s also life. I STILL, at the age of 53, have occasional dreams that I didn’t graduate because I couldn’t meet the math requirement. I failed algebra twice. I was put on academic probation while at CC. I spent three years there, and another three getting my degree. My degree got me my current job, so it’s worth persevering. I am a total dunce when it comes to math, but if I did it, so can you.
I don’t think comm colleges boot you out, but I could be wrong. If college is the only thing left that keeps you going, PLEASE go to a bricks and mortar college, where there are advisors, and you can get help at tutoring centers and from profs during office hours. IMO, online school is only good if you can be very disciplined, and it seems you can’t. It’s good that you are here asking for advice, because it means you want to make a change. Stop running away from all the things you want to avoid. I GUARANTEE you that you will feel much better confronting the boogeyman rather than continuing to hide.
Can you reduce your work hours? That would help. Meanwhile, I urge you to run to the nearest CC and make an appointment with an advisor to help steer you on a course to success instead of floundering around and not really being focused. This is what advisors do, so let someone help you. Maybe take summer classes if you can still get them.
I won’t address your illnesses. I don’t claim to know anything about how to help there, except that you have to keep up with therapy. I also think you should not transfer into a four year college right now. Spend a semester or two getting good grades, then transfer into your local state uni. I am a little leery of a college that accepts everyone. Do a search and see what other info you can find. It’s not a for-profit, is it? If so, avoid at all costs.
Another thing, and I mean this kindly, but please don’t make allusions to not wanting to live. If you feel that way, please check into a hospital. Talk to your parents or a trusted relative. It’s quite distressing to be a regular person here on CC and hear that kind of talk, when everyone here is totally powerless to help you should a true emergency arise. There are many resources to help people who feel desperate, but college confidential isn’t one of them. Best of luck to you.
You both are very right. Thank you for taking the time to sit here and listen to me not once, but twice, and what not. I really appreciate the both of you. I think I’ll talk to an advisor here, as well as an advisor at the college I’ve applied to transfer to. If its true that I could get better foundation and support physically going- then I definitely need to push myself to at least go to a few physical classes. I really, really want to dorm. I know that sounds silly coming from someone who just complained I can’t (bear with me, I was at very bad states writing the past posts and right now I’ve just started my day and don’t have to work tonight so I’m in a good mood right now), but maybe I can work a bunch during the summer and go off and dorm the next semester and still be able to pay all my bills from working during the summer. Or can people still work while dorming? This past month I came home to Massachusetts from doing an internship with Disney World in FL for 8 months, where I was in a dorm-type setting. A lot of my problems stem from my home life- so I was in a much better state of mind there than I am here, now. I was working just as much and getting my homework done… but only had to go to one physical class (in Disney University).
I also want to point out that my poor grades in certain classes are because I missed the work. In my philosophy class, the class I just missed the 2nd midterm and final for, I was getting a B+/A- in before I hadn’t turned in my work. And the lower grades in my other classes are the same reason- like the week I moved home from FL to MA I missed, which caused my A/B grades to drop to C grades…so I’m feeling pretty stupid that it wasn’t truly the work but my lack of diligence in the class.
And I AM SO SORRY (directed towards Linda’s comment) for expressing that side of me. I don’t mean to make you, or anyone else, uncomfortable with those feelings. I apologize, there was no where else for me to express it at the time of the comment.
If you can get into a residential college, there are all kinds of campus supports. Most colleges have student counseling centers, but you need to book right away, because there are often waiting lists. There are also residential community colleges. I am a little concerned that you might find a four year university to be perhaps too rigorous to begin. But, yes, if you are already registered to begin this fall, maybe go talk to a campus advisor now is any are there. Counseling services don’t usually start until the start of school. Good luck, keep moving forward, and face your fears. You will find they aren’t as scary as you think.
You can dorm and work at the same time; the dorm is just a place to come back to when you’re done.
Also, if you’re at a residential college (or even if you aren’t, you may have access to this; I guess it depends on the school), look into Student Disability Services or something similar. If the school you go to has a counseling center, as many do, you can find out what it’s called at your school. They set up accommodations for you to help you with your courses. For example, they can help you communicate with professors (or do it on your behalf) to get extensions on assignments, have optional attendance, etc. when you’re going through a rough patch. Even if you’re feeling better and motivated when you get there, it’s good to have those safety nets in place, just in case.
Actually, it may be worth the try to reach out to some of your professors, explain the situation, and see if they can give you extensions or makeup exams. Some professors are surprisingly gracious. Also, your history in the classes shows that you know the material and are capable of being a good student.
As an adult, believe me that “taking time off of college” is not nearly as important as “doing well in college”.
It is important that you first get your mental health issues dealt with if they are impacting your college.
Then you need to take courses such that you can excel in them…maybe only taking one course a semester.
Thank you all for the continued support/advice. It’s very much appreciated. I got back two of my other finals, an 82 and an 89, and have calmed down a bit because of it- even though I didn’t do the final for one of the classes. I reviewed the probation, and I’d be fine to continue on to next semester at my current college. I’m still looking to potentially transfer, but I’m going to take this week to relax. Again, you guys have been super helpful and I definitely appreciate it all
Before you continue next semester, seriously think of taking time off to focus on your mental issues. Therapy is wonderful and not valued enough. I know that you said taking time off will make you feel like a failure, but how will you feel if you get kicked out of community college? This pattern will continue unless you focus on healing yourself.
Please don’t feel ashamed about anything. If you Google “medical leave college”, you’ll get a ton of hits to peruse and see that you’re not alone. Even people at Harvard occasionally have to go on medical leave.
Many colleges offer free counseling – perhaps you could benefit from those services. Having a trained professional listen and offer advice could help you to better deal with things as you move forward in life.