Possible academic probation & dealing with a mental illness

Parents Forum
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<p>I’ve somehow gotten myself into a bad position. I’m a rising junior at a big state school. I transferred in last semester (in the spring) from a community college in my city about five hours away from here. I worked really hard to get in the position that I am in now, at least, financially; I currently am on three scholarships, one grant, and a loan versus the one grant and one loan I was on last semester. For this semester, the school gave me more money, so I was able to go from a cramped dorm to a student apartment.</p>

<p>However, last semester I had issues with going to classes. I took a course load of fifteen credits, and I failed two classes and managed to “squeak” by in the remaining three. At that point, I was placed on academic probation. I was concerned about it, but I just thought i was having a tough transition period. i didn’t confide in my family because I wanted them to think I had it all together. They weren’t contributing anything financially, so I didn’t feel obligated to tell them anything. They just assumed I was doing relatively well. I vowed that the next semester I would do a lot better and be more comfortable in my new environment.</p>

<p>This semester rolls around, starts off good, gets progressively worse... and here’s where it gets a bit strange, so bear with me... Last semester, I started hearing voices, seeing things... It got progressively worse along with other issues. It’s why I can’t get to class. I see things, hear things, that scare the crap out of me. My roommates have a cat and it began to talk to me.... I started getting very scared that I was being followed. I just wanted to stay in my room, not see anyone, not talk to anyone... it’s like that now. It’s horrible. I feel like crying all the time, I’m worried, I fear for my life.... everywhere i go i feel like the people I see are telling people about me and I feel alone like I can’t trust anyone and everything is just getting louder, you know? The other day my roommates had friends over in the living room for most of the weekend and I was too scared to come out, even to use the bathroom... I just felt like they were all going to stare/talk about me behind my back.</p>

<p>So this semester starts off good until I stop attending class for the above reasons. i end up dropping two because I was failing them, and I managed to withdraw before any real damage is done. Now I’m down to three classes and I try my absolute best to show up, when I’m not terrified. I DO study, I do read the books. I do what I can without notes unless I can get them from someone. I’m passing in all of my classes and should pass all of them but I don’t know if I can make the 2.0 GPA- I’m studying as hard as I can and trying to fix this situation I have gotten myself into but it is so tough at this point-especially toward the end of the semester.</p>

<p>I haven’t told anyone about this... I just went down to the healthcare center at my university last week and went to a physician. I told her what was going on and she was extremely concerned and recommended that I see a resident psychiatrist for an evaluation. She even canceled an appointment so I could go. The appointment was $58, money that I really don’t have since I don’t have a job (it was my grocery money) but I just had to do it. After the evaluation, assessing my family medical history and such, he couldn’t come up with a clear diagnosis. He said he doesn’t know if I’m schizophrenic, or if I’m somewhere on the bipolar spectrum and I am just having delusions (he mentioned possibly schizoeffective). That word really scared me but he says he wants to do one more follow up appointment before he decides anything. He gave me a medication to try but I have yet to pick it up- I’d have to go to Walmart and I have no car and the bus doesn’t really go in that area.</p>

<p>Right now I am just terrified... I’m scared of what’s wrong with me, what I’ve been seeing. I’m scared of disappointing my parents and ruining my future. If I get placed on academic suspension... I mean, I’ll lose my scholarships. I’ll lose my off campus apartment. I’ll have to move. I’ll have to break my lease which will go on my renters history. I worked hard for everything I have here and it would just kill me to lose it. Most of all, I fear for my mental health and that I’m losing it. Logically, I know I shouldn’t be hearing/seeing things but I am... and I don’t know why.</p>

<p>I know it’s my fault for letting this go on without telling anyone and it was my responsibility to get help when it first started happening. I have no excuse; I was just scared. I was too afraid to tell anyone and I thought I could ignore it.</p>

<p>If anyone could just tell me what to do. I’m just tired and afraid and I feel like crying/vomiting all of the time.</p>

<p>Thank you very much.</p>

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<p>I’m sorry this must be very tough for you. Go to this website, The National Alliance for Mental Illness [NAMI:</a> National Alliance on Mental Illness - Mental Health Support, Education and Advocacy](<a href=“http://www.nami.org/]NAMI:”>http://www.nami.org/). They can help you find local support groups, answer some of your questions and as it says on the first page “you are not alone in this fight”.</p>

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<p>Go to your advisor today as an emergency appointment. Then go to the doctor again- not a resident-- an attending physician. Not just the health center—once you get help it will all sort itself out. Or, call your parents and tell them and let them help you get help. But do something today. Whatever happens will be better than the feeling you have now.</p>

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<p>At this point it may be best for you to take a medical sabbatical, head home and get some help there where you have an infrastructure to assist you.</p>

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<p>Send a PM to poster MaineLonghorn if she doesn’t find this thread. She has a lot of experience in this area and has a son who went through something very similar at college.</p>

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<p>Stress can bring on various symptoms, but mental illness can also surface for the first time in early 20s.
Your health needs to be managed first.
I speak from experience, if you don’t have your health, everything else is much more difficult.</p>

<p>I am not clear on how long you have been on probation, so correct me if I am wrong.
You transferred to your current school for the spring term, you did poorly and as a result you were placed on probation.</p>

<p>You continued to do poorly fall term, you have dropped two classes and have difficulty with the remainder.
I think you need to consult with your advisor, and consider a medical leave- but try and appeal your probation so that if you do leave, you can return.</p>

<p>I can’t stress enough that your health is the important thing. If you aren’t eating/sleeping well your mental & physical health will be affected without anything else necessarily going on.
I’m surprised your school doesn’t have a psychiatrist on staff, but let the Drs office know you don’t have any money. They should be able to point you to other resources if they won’t help.</p>

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<p>You’re asking for help and that’s good. You have a lot of legitimate worries but nothing is more important than your health and sanity. You can probably get a medical withdrawal which may help with your other concerns… but the important thing is to get treated. </p>

<p>There ARE treatments and medications for all kinds of conditions these days so please don’t worry about the future.</p>

<p>I hope your family is supportive. Good luck and let us know what happens!</p>

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<p>Do NOT be embarrassed by this. If you do have a mental illness, you really need to think of it just like any other type of illness. Just as your liver, kidneys, lungs, etc. can be affected by diseases or the environment, your brain can be as well. You are lucky to live in this time period, there is a lot that can be done via medications to help you stabilize and live a fairly normal life. Good for you to be going in for treatment, that is the biggest hurdle most people in this situation face.</p>

<p>Can you ask a friend to take you to Walmart for the pills? Or call the clinic and tell them you can’t get there to pick it up. Ask if there is a closer pharmacy that takes your insurance, or if they can help you figure out how to get it for you. They might even be able to provide a few sample doses until you can get there Believe me, they will want to help you with this, just reach out to them. My nephew is a psychiatrist on an LAC’s staff, and he would go to great lengths to help a student in your situation – that is why people like him are there (although I can’t tell for sure if the doc you saw is on staff for your college or not – but even if they aren’t, they probably get a lot of referrals from your college and want to help). Their number one goal is to help you be healthy as a person, and also to succeed at school if you can do that within the boundaries of good health.</p>

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<p>The symptoms you describe mainly resemble schizophrenia, though those with bipolar 1 can sometimes see and hear things. It would seem to me that you are suffering from paranoid schizophrenia, and I am so sorry that you are having such a rough time.
(Just want to check: you don’t have any history of partial seizures do you? Lyme disease? Other medical issues?)</p>

<p>I think, like others, that you need help immediately. Honestly, the easiest thing would be for you to go to a hospital, where they can try meds and where MD and staff can help with all of your concerns. An ER would be a good entry point for this.( Bring this post with you!) I am mystified as to why an MD would send you back out, even with responsibility for getting your own meds, when you are experiencing symptoms as severe as this. Not to mention lack of transportation and money. Can you call and talk to that MD again? Or call the physician at the health center who “got it”? Or show up at mental health services and say you need urgent care?</p>

<p>This is an age when these things come out. You need help, and immediate help. Can you tell your parents? Or can someone else tell your parents?</p>

<p>Initial meds (I am guessing antipsychotics) may take care of your hallucinations, but will make it harder to be in school and do work. It takes a long time, months anyway, to fine tune meds. Everyone reacts differently, and they might start you off at a higher dose and then work down to a maintenance dose. Once fine tuned, people with psychosis of whatever form can do school and do it well: check out Elyn Sacks book on this (not now though). Your post is very articulate: you must be very bright.</p>

<p>At some point, someone, a dean, a disabilities person, your parents, should help you do a medical withdrawal. You would then have protections against academic penalties and once you have a documented diagnosis, your academic slate can be wiped clean for this semester. You have a right to get better and return with a record that does not reflect this term at all.</p>

<p>None of this matters as much as taking care of your health asap.I am only mentioning the bureacratic accommodation machinery to express to you that academics and GPA’s should not be your immediate concern, and you seem to be kind of holding on to that concern as part of normalcy.</p>

<p>Main point: get help now! 1) call your parents And/OR 2) go to the mental health services office and say you need urgent care OR 3) go to an ER Tell whomever you talk with some of the things you have written here.</p>

<p>Do not be embarrassed. Many of us have kids with psychiatric issues, or have them ourselves. You need some help and you deserve help. In fact, you probably need help getting help. So anyone in your immediate environment who can help you do that…Good luck!</p>

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<p>I’m so sorry, I wasn’t very clear in my original post. I was trying to be concise and left some details out. Sorry!</p>

<p>My school has a health center on campus. I called them, told them a bit about what was going on, and they told me I’d have to make an appointment with a physician. From there, if the physician thought it was necessary, they would recommend me for a psychiatric evaluation. My school’s health center also has psychiatrists on staff.</p>

<p>Meeting with the physician was free, since it was built into my student fees. But to see a psychiatrist there is a fee (the $58). Like I mentioned before, I went in, the physician saw me, and she quickly tried to get me into see a psychiatrist for an evaluation that very day. Unfortunately, the soonest she could get me in was the following Thursday (two days later). I went, the psychiatrist did an hour assessment, and I told him the truth… about everything. After the hour was up he told me he just wasn’t sure, but he didn’t know if it was schizophrenia or not. He was certain though that I was on the spectrum and his best guess was schizoaffective, based on my paranoia and delusions.</p>

<p>He gave me a prescription for Risperdal and promised me that regardless, I was going to start feeling better. He was going to give me another medication but I expressed my concerns once he told me how much it cost. He assured me that the Risperdal was on the $4 plan at Walmart so I wouldn’t have much trouble getting it.</p>

<p>He said he wanted to see me again, to check up on how the medication was working for me and to fully assess me. However, that won’t be until 12/7. He said if I felt like I was having a break to go to the E.R. I’ll keep that in mind since the majority is saying that is the best route.</p>

<p>I tried to reason with them about the bill and they say they’ll “work with me” on paying it. But the truth is I have no insurance (neither do my parents). I don’t EVER see the doctor or anything unless I’m majorly sick which has only happened two other times in my life. The dr visits at the school are pretty expensive, for me at least, and the next one is going to be $45 I think. And to attend psychiatric therapy would be $75 for an hour and I DEFINITELY can’t do that.</p>

<p>I could call the pharmacy I guess… I have a few friends with cars but the ones I do know would want money to drive me and I honestly don’t have it. I’ll just wait until my mom picks me up for TG.</p>

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<p>Thank you SO MUCH for your post.</p>

<p>I know my first priority should be my mental health, but I also want to do everything in my power to return to my school next semester. I haven’t been placed on academic suspension yet- but there is that possibility if I do not do well on the remaining exams. Right now I’m doing the best I can to get organized and get caught up, so that maybe I can squeak by with a 2.0. Obviously not my best, but if I do get regulated on medication I want to return to school.</p>

<p>You mentioned the disability department. How do I go about this? Do I wait and contact the school if I am suspended? Do I go to them now to tell them my situation? What kind of documentation would I need to bring? I was only recently diagnosed lat week but it’s been going on for a while…</p>

<p>I know it’s not over until the fat lady sings, but there is a chance I could be placed on academic suspension. In the event of that (maybe) happening, I would like to be prepared and know what my options are.</p>

<p>Thanks to all of you who are listening and helping =)</p>

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<p>Please do not be embarrassed. Mental illness is not your fault any more than it is your fault if you get pneumonia. And just like when you are physically ill, when you are mentally ill you need to have your illness treated. Based on what you have written here you should IMMEDIATELY seek treatment at the best psychiatric hospital in your area.</p>

<p>As a parent I can honestly say that I would want to help my son if he were sick. I think that in addition to seeking medical treatment IMMEDIATELY you should call your parents and let them know what is going on in your life. They will want to help you. I am sure they love you very much and want what it best for you. You need the love of your family.</p>

<p>In my mind seeking medical attention and seeking the love and support of your family are the most important things you should be doing. If you can manage more than that you should consider trying to obtain a medical withdrawal from this semester. This is something your parents can help you do.</p>

<p>(((((HUGS))))))</p>

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<p>I am sending you a private message.</p>

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<p>compmom, I received your lovely PM but I cannot reply to it because I need fifteen posts as a new member.</p>

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<p>lhomerun, I am a moderator on CC. I’m giving you permission to post 11 more times on this thread to get you up to 15! You’ll have to wait a minute between each post, but it’s worth it. I’m sending you a PM, because MomofWildChild is correct - my son was in your shoes two years ago.</p>

<p>Contact the disabilities office at your school NOW. They will tell you what you need to do to get accommodations. You’ll need a doctor’s diagnosis, but that shouldn’t be difficult. There’s really not anything more to it than that. Then you can get extensions and other help.</p>

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<p>Thank you very much MaineLonghorn! :)</p>

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<p>10 characters</p>

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<p>I will have to wait until tomorrow because I’m pretty sure the main office is closed. It is 5:44 my time.</p>

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<p>bumping this</p>

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<p>lhommerun, you may need to post on a thread outside the cafe to get your post count up.</p>

<p>Good luck and please do seek medical help and let your parents know what is going on.</p>

<p>And for what it is worth, while a mental illness is the most likely cause of your problems, there are also other illnesses which can cause hallucinations. I just heard an interview with a young woman who turned out to have an auto-immune disease that was attacking her brain. <a href=“http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13547180-brain-on-fire[/url]”>http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13547180-brain-on-fire&lt;/a&gt; And I have heard about a jillion interview with Oliver Sacks has a new book about hallucinations. <a href=“http://www.oliversacks.com/[/url]”>http://www.oliversacks.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;