<p>Let me set the scene. So freshmen year fall semester, I became friends with this girl who lived on my floor. We always got dinner together, worked for a campus magazine together and would just do a lot of things together. But towards the end of the semester, she was caught stealing money from her roommate's debit card. I did want to remain friends with someone like that so I stopped being friends with her. So, I was left not really having any close friends. My freshmen roommate and I got along very well and did things together every so often, but she had her group of friends and was rushing for a sorority (so she was busy). So I was just left with acquaintances. It seemed like everyone had their groups of friends already. I read the unhelpful guides on how to make friends. I have joined clubs and what not, but again I just make acquaintances. Everyone has their friends. Here I am second semester of my sophomore year with even more acquaintances. I go to a school with around 20,000 students. It's a pretty big party school, but that just isn't my thing. I hate parties. And I don't really like/want to drink because my grandfather was an alcoholic. I do well in school. I guess it's because I bury myself in my schoolwork to avoid the fact that I don't really have friends at school. I feel like such a loser. I always have to exaggerate to my family how much fun I'm having. I was very well-liked in high school. I had many friends. I don't understand why I'm having so much trouble. If you guys could provide me with some advice that would actually help, I would appreciate it.</p>
<p>Most people I know are acquaintances. They all seem to have their own friends group. I only have 1 friend who I hangout with daily. I guess thats better than nothing but I would like to have a few good friends at least. My roommate recently moved out. We were not friends but once in a while we would eat meals together. I understand when you say you exaggerate to your family. I do that too so that they don’t know I really have no friends. I also don’t like to drink or go to parties. </p>
<p>I don’t have any super good advice since I’m on the same boat. Have you ever tried inviting anyone to have dinner/lunch/grab coffee after class?</p>
<p>I’m the same and it seems I have to put more effort in to keep the friendship. It seems everyone has their own little group so i don’t really try hard to make friends i guess. I mean i still have my old high school friends so I’m happy with having college acquaintances.</p>
<p>I’m the same way. I don’t know anyone in my area since majority of my friends live 2 hours away from me. I haven’t joined any clubs, and as much as I would like to, I work too much during the week to join any. I have met a couple of people but after a few weeks or after the semester we never speak again.</p>
<p>I know your pain, I am re-entering college in second semester after a year of not making any friends, due to working off a debt. I am quite surprised that you live on campus and still don’t have a group of friends, always thought being on campus gives you a better chance at that. </p>
<p>I think what you should do is try to inch your way into their groups by asking if you could tag along to hangout with them, helps if you know some of the people already.</p>
<p>Hi hollymayy, </p>
<p>I definitely know what its like to be in this boat. When I was in high school and even now in community college I found it hard to make friends. I’m not even really shy its just that a lot of people would kind of blow me off when I tried to talk to them so I became much more withdrawn and irritable towards others. I have seen some improvement in community college but even then I don’t find anyone who I’d love to hang out with any time of the day, its a struggle for sure. </p>
<p>I know they say it over and over but clubs and events [no specifically parties per say] are the best way to meet new people. You can always try to start a convo with someone sitting next to you and try not to feel bad if somehow it doesn’t go as planned. Try and seem friendly and open, smile at people and greet them if you make eye contact. I know from my past friends that they say when I’m focused I look kind of b!tchy and like the kind of person they’d never talk to, so if you do that try to avoid that if you can.</p>
<p>Also its not the same as in person but if you ever want to talk I’m open.</p>
<p>Good luck! [derp tht was kind of long]</p>
<p>First off, having no friends doesn’t mean you’re a “loser” – there are many reasons for lacking friends, in addition to differences in desire for socialization. I’m in the exact same situation as you; I’m in my 4th year, and do not have any friends at all besides this one person who I’ve known since high school (and even then, I only hang out with her about 2 or 3 times a year). The lack of friends stems from a combination of factors on my part: I’m a severe introvert, to the point of being Schizoid (to me, socialization is as unpleasant as pulling out teeth); I am speech-impaired to the point of being functionally mute (and I’ve found some people are intimidated by disabled people and my use of an electronic voice); and I live far away from campus, so as a commuter student, the only time I can meet new people is either in classes or through student clubs (and I usually do not have sufficient time in my day to join clubs). I’m comfortable having no friends, although it is quite awkward to have to lie to my parents all the time about “going out with my friends” when I really am just going to walk around downtown alone or go to the local library. </p>
<p>You seem to be really bothered by the fact that you can’t seem to get past the “acquaintance” stage. You seem clear-minded and well-adjusted, so I’m sure it has nothing to do with your personality. I think the main problem comes from the fact that in university, the first year is the main period for developing new friendships (either by meeting roommates, or new people through frosh week and other activities). After the first year, it is likely that many students have already created their “group” of friends, and some of them do not have the open-mindedness to expand their network and add more people to their group of friends beyond the first year. That’s kinda what I’ve observed anyway.</p>
<p>Besides this, what seems to be a sure-fire way of making new friends seems to be getting drunk at a club and starting up a conversation with a random person. However, this can backfire if the person ends up expecting sex. I know you hate clubbing, but this may be a solution if you’re desperate. And there’s always Craigslist too. If you post a “looking to meet someone new” ad in the platonic relationships category, you might get some responses.</p>