Could some one grade my essay out of 12 and give me feedback on what to improve?
Prompt: Does being content with the way things are prevent people from improving themselves and doing better?
My essay:
Contentment, the state of being satisfied with what one has, does not help the process of moving forward in life. The world is constantly innovating and renovating methods to make mundane tasks easier.
If the majority were content with Alexander Graham Bell’s invention of the telephone then “BlackBerry” and “Apple” would just be known none other than types of fruit. There is almost always a fault or technicality that can be improved in a product or method. The big – block – phone with a cord went to a block – phone – with – no –cord which turned into a pocket – sized – flip – phone which turned into a sleek – touch screen – phone – that – almost – everyone – depends – on – with – their – lives, where all made possible because people are not content with what they already had. A cell phone is the most used item in the world that gets renovated and it does not have as much as an effect as if a medical student is trying to get better so that he/she gives the best possible care to the patient.
A medical intern learns in a hospital how to treat a patient. They learn procedures for each case. At the end of the surgery they would need to stitch it up. Therefore, the intern practices the stitch on a banana or any other fruit and if it does not fit correctly or missed a stitch or not tight enough the intern would practice until it is not sufficient, but perfect so that each patient gets the best possible care.
The state of content does not usually exist in the human world for very long. There are always different ways and ideas to improve these tasks that we have already done. Therefore the state of contentment does not hinder a person from doing better.