My boyfriend and I will have been together for a little over two years this fall. We coincidentally both went to college in San Diego last year (he went to USD and I went to UCSD), which worked out perfectly for us. We both did not like our schools for different reasons and decided to transfer. I will be attending Smith College and he will be attending Connecticut College. Luckily, these colleges won’t be too far apart, but they are just far enough where I obviously won’t be seeing him as much. Does anyone have experience in a situation like this? What advice can you give? We are very good with communication/trust and call each other all the time, so I’m not super worried about that, I just want to know how difficult it will be to meet up with him once in a while! And of course, I know that school/academics come first!
Do you have cars on campus? If so, meeting up won’t be that difficult.
I was with my hs bf through sophomore year of college and we were about an hour to an hour and a half apart. We managed to see each other weekend. (Which in retrospect was a mistake because we broke up and I didn’t have too many friends at the time because I was always away.) But it wasn’t hard to go.
Neither of us currently own cars but he may get one next year. I believe both campuses have zipcars though! We are trying to see each other once a month, so it’s good to know that it’s feasible!
It definitely sounds like it’ll be possible to meet up occasionally! Find out what the train/bus situations are for getting between the two places, at least until you have steady access to a car.
I’ve never done long-distance for more than a couple months at a time, but one piece of advice I’d give is to have a really solid plan for when and how you can make contact. Let him know that you wouldn’t want to go for more than a week without a voice or Skype call (if that’s your thing) and stick to it. If you planned to call him at 8:30 on Friday night and your friends want to go out, either tell them no thanks or make a solid backup plan to call your boyfriend another time.
On a similar note, realize that having a relationship you prioritize with a person that’s far away may have some impact on your relationships where you are. You’ll have to think about that and deal with that somehow.
Here’s what’s been working for me: try to talk as much as you can, text him nice things every so often, and see each other when it’s feasible; once a month seems like a good target.
zip car will add up though
Thank you for your advice! I know zipcar is expensive, so I’ll see whether I can use the bus/train at least part of the way there. I want to make sure I have all my bases covered before I transfer in the fall!
My daughter and her boyfriend of 7 years are now in different countries and spend only summers together. He is in a PhD program and she is in vet school. Once a week they will have a “date night” via hangouts. They decide on things like renting the same movie, eating the same food, etc. It will work!