<p>I would like to consider myself an intelligent slacker (I’m certainly a slacker, it’s the intelligent part that’s up for debate), and my parents’ continuous nagging did very little to motivate me. Motivation needs to come from within. If all efforts fail: someone from my school got into MIT last year with a 3.3. So anything’s possible.</p>
<p>Didn’t know that about Cambridge. Will definitely be looking into that. Thanks.</p>
<p>“He was admitted to MIT at the end of his junior year in high school; he was waitlisted by CalTech. He graduated from MIT after 7 semesters and started his own company six months after graduation.”</p>
<p>Wow Dmd77. Did he forgo his senior year? Is that possible?</p>
<p>" OH THE PERIL OF THE UNDERACHIEVING CHILD"… most of them boys. I know, because I have 5 of them. There is definitely a wonderful place in heaven for me…LOL. I truly think that nagging does not work up to a point. I have tried that to no avail. My now sophmore S, after years of telling him to put more effort into his schoolwork, just rolls his eyes at me or tunes me out. He has heard the broken record many times. It is so hard as a parent to watch your extremely smart child bring home report cards splattered in B’s. I have somewhat resigned myself to wherever he ends up is where he belongs. I agree with the above posters who think that if he’s not willing to put in the effort now, what makes you think that college will be any different. It will only be harder to buckle down, with even more distractions. I am trying one last ditch effort to take him on some college visits next month to places I know he will like, and see if that somehow sparks motivation. I’ll let you know how it goes.</p>
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<p>I don’t know what MITs requirements/preferences are, but I’m sure he can get into a great college if he keeps up those grades.</p>
<p>Is it possible that he can’t get As in those classes? My own experience has always been the opposite of your son’s . . . I’m gifted at English, history, and science, but bad at math, a subject in which I usually get low Bs or Cs. I work hard, I study, I even understand the concepts, but Ill make some little mistake here or there in the sequence of a problem and end up with the wrong answer. Not so bad on homework, where I can check the right answer and make corrections if necessary, but a killer on tests. I would think English would be even more challenging since theres no set answer key you can check an essay or paper against . . . and then tests on top of that! For someone who doesnt like/isnt talented at English, a B is a pretty good grade, IMO.</p>
<p>And on a sidenote, nagging never worked with me as a teen. I would stubbornly dig my heels in and refuse to [insert what mother wanted me to do here] NO MATTER WHAT, even if it was something I normally would have done on my own because, by God, I was no one’s puppet! Yes, I was a trial for my mother, no doubt. (I’m female, incidentally.)</p>
<p>“It is so hard as a parent to watch your extremely smart child bring home report cards splattered in B’s.”</p>
<p>I would have been thanking God for such great grades from my sons. Please count your blessings!</p>
<p>They had scores in the 98th-99th percentile and had report cards with some Cs, Ds, and even Fs on them!</p>
<p>
MIT (as well as some other top schools, like CMU) allows hs student to apply without graduating from HS.
Another option (a safer one, imho) is to fulfill the graduation requirements by the end of 11th grade and get a HS diploma.
Graduating a year early (or applying without graduating) does not “help” in admissions - the younger students are at disadvantage compared to the ones with 4 yrs of HS generally speaking.
Nevertheless, there are some students for whom entering college after 3 yrs of HS is a right choice. There are several parents on this forum who have kids who did just that (with great success).</p>
<p>How connected is he to the math community? I went to a mathcamp, and seeing the college results of my fellow math nerds was a bit of a shock. A few, even those who did well, are at their safety schools. The most motivated ones have a lot of options. I know tons of MIT students as a result, but also students going to many other places, not all tier one either. Mathcamp was actually the first time that my overly large vocabulary (which I can overuse when I’m irritable, sleepy, or failing at making a joke) did not elicit requests to “speak in English”. So, they generally had much broader interests than math. I am very aware that I am far from the best after meeting them, and many of them are going to safeties, usually because they slacked off in their humanities classes. </p>
<p>My brother also had that sort of attitude, but he didn’t like any of his classes. My parents would have been in heaven had he gotten your son’s grades. He got below a 3.0. He got into a few places but dropped out halfway through sophomore year because he found his peers uninspiring. I figure that I can find good classes at many colleges, but excellent peers are rarer. Mom still nags sometimes, but I’m usually good about getting all of my work done (college apps were rough though). When I was in middle school, they just blocked me from the internet for a day if I wasn’t doing what they wanted. It was pretty effective. </p>
<p>However, having said all that, your son’s grades may or may not get him into MIT, but he would certainly have a chance at a lot of good places. MIT, Caltech, Harvey Mudd, CMU, Case, RPI, Rose Hulman (which sends the best college spam ever) are all good places to look. Given his distaste for the humanities, he’d probably be better suited to Caltech than MIT. Still, MIT is a reach regardless of how great he is. </p>
<p>And yes, the tech schools especially don’t require a high school diploma to attend. A friend of a friend is at MIT, and he skipped his senior year. Sure, he doesn’t have a high school diploma, but with an MIT one, will anyone care? If your son dislikes high school, maybe he could try applying to places his junior year? </p>
<p>Anyway, best of luck! Just remember that MIT isn’t the only place, and his grades don’t mean he won’t get in, but they can hurt his chances a lot.</p>
<p>OP- get your son to meet with his guidance counselor to take a look at Naviance if your school has it. He’s a numbers guy- he will see who got in where. For some kids they need to see that GPA matters, for other kids it will also serve as a good lesson that many kids with his interests go to Purdue, Rochester, Case, RPI, WPI, etc. and that’s also great.</p>
<p>But if the grades are within his control, AND if he cares, he can deliver. And if he’s maxed out on the humanities courses, or he doesn’t care, there will be many fine options for him as well.</p>
<p>OP,
If your son is a sophomore with As in 4 APs, I think you worry too much.
He certainly is not a slacker. Let him find his own way - he is not going to fail, with or without MIT.</p>
<p>*If all efforts fail: someone from my school got into MIT last year with a 3.3. So anything’s possible. *</p>
<p>That could be for a number of reasons…you’re from Minn…so, that might be a regional issue, the person might be URM (some are American Indian and you won’t know that), plays a needed instrument, or he had some other hook. If the student had a 3.3 weighted GPA without any special considerations, it would be hard to get admitted to MIT.</p>
<p>bogibogi:</p>
<p>Dmd’s S graduated early from high school; so did mine (Harvard); bookworm’s (Caltech) and a few others.</p>
<p>Two things:</p>
<ol>
<li>It might be possible that your son is using the “cheating by others” excuse to mask that he questions his abilities in his non-math classes. In other words, he obviously finds math to be natural for him, but the humanities requires a little more work on his part. Having a subject that is difficult when other subjects come so easy for one can be hard to accept, especially for a teenager.</li>
<li>Friends of mine who are college professors tell me that their college students who succeeded in high school partly because mom made sure they kept them organized were not successful in college. If they can’t get their act together in high school they may not be mature enough for college. A few extra years of maturing might do wonders as so many posters have attested to with their own adult sons.</li>
</ol>
<p>Now I ask: Why is this so much more prevalent with boys than girls? My son at twenty still struggles with getting it and my 17 year-old daughter got it a long time ago.</p>
<p>Marite, thank you for the names. Perhaps I can contact them for further insight. I am wary of having him graduate early though because he skipped in elementary school and is one of the youngest in his class.</p>
<p>Proud_mom, I have the confidence that with a little more effort, he could get As in the other classes. The Bs are a result of doing the minimum amount of work. This is why I am so frustrated. I do worry that hand holding will not help him in the future, but it is hard not to remind him to be more organized.</p>
<p>*
Now I ask: Why is this so much more prevalent with boys than girls? My son at twenty still struggles with getting it and my 17 year-old daughter got it a long time ago.*</p>
<p>We have a problem in America (and in England so I’ve read) that too many boys don’t treasure academic achievement. Boys who achieve academically are labeled “geeks” or nerds. I remember when my popular son was told by a girl that he was a “rare brainy type with a social life.” The point was that he was considered to be an “exception.”</p>
<p>It could be because schools and classmates admire their athletes and not so much academic success. </p>
<p>Also, unfortunately, many dads will spend countless hours at a kids’ sports games or practices (even coaching) but will spend far less time showing interest in homework, or other academic achievement. Many dads neglect to ask about upcoming tests or past test results, but they’ll know their sons’ sports schedules. Many boys grow up hearing their dads brag and compliment about touchdowns made or baskets scores or soccer achievements, which sends them the message that sports is more important than academics. </p>
<p>In England they call it “laddism.” *“Two British academics have blamed a culture of ‘laddism’ where successful male students are ‘geeks;’ *</p>
<p>Well bogibogi I definitely can’t give you advice. I fussed at my son for three years in high school to no avail. Mostly B’s with a few A’s because he didn’t want to do the homework. His senior year I put him in a collegiate high school program where he took all of his classes at the local four-year university. I completely stayed out of his academics that year and he excelled. I thought he might do fine in college while not living at home, but I did have reservations and really wanted him to join the military then. He insisted on going off to college where he had a good start, but then started to tank. He is now back home, working at a pizza parlor waiting to go to boot camp with the Air Force. Since he scored as high as you can on the AF entrance exam he has some flexibility regarding his desired job in the AF. </p>
<p>Personally, I think this will be a good thing and the lessons he will get while in the AF will be very valuable. Am I disappointed? Not really. I know how capable he is, but I also know he has some growing up to do and I am confident with a little more maturity he will take off and soar. My only disappointment is that one so capable can be so irresponsible with his abilities. I teach many, many students who work so hard and would give a right eye to have his “natural” abilities. I just hope he truly understands how fortunate he is after a few years in the service.</p>
<p>The saddest thing is that I see this same behavior in most of the boys I teach, but only a small percentage of the girls and I teach juniors and seniors in a college prep program. A lot of my male students flounder in college for a few years before they start to get it. It seems like a smaller percentage of my female students struggle as much. Maybe this explains why girls tend to date boys who are a few years older.</p>
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<p>I agree with the sports thing. Also, I think a lot of boys shrink away from anything “feminine” or “girlish.” But to a large extent “feminine” is identified as “anything girls are interested in/good at.” Girls associate academic success as a good thing to achieve, for the most part. Therefore, academic achievement = girly. </p>
<p>An interesting juxtaposition is an Isaac Asimov story I read that was written in, oh, the 50s I think. It centered around a female scientist (not a common female occupation at the time.) This woman was not very attractive, socially awkward, and didn’t have kids. The tone of the story implied that of COURSE she was homely, awkward, and had no family–what other kind of woman would become a scientist? She did have a husband, but spent half the story wondering “why did he marry me?” (It turned out he was an alien trying to steal info on a research project she was working on or something.)</p>
<p>Anyway, my point is . . . the stereotype that only women who can’t find a husband would want a career or that women with careers are somehow “unfeminine” has been largely excised. Now we have to find a way to get rid of “boys who do well in class are geeky/girly/unmanly/boring.”</p>
<p>mom2collegekids: You are so right on! Athletes are honored so much more in grade school, college and after college than academic stars. The father thing is also so true, although with my husband it was scouting. My son has his Eagle and his Eagle project was about three times the size of the standard Eagle projects. He soared in that environment.</p>
<p>HHmmm. What about a visit to MIT? Do you know any current students he could visit with for a weekend…attend a class or two? Or what about just doing a family visit to the campus NOW?..
Let’s not forget…time to teenagers is viewed very differently …perhaps he feels he has plenty of time to work on acceptance…
Had similar situation with my S…wants very much to be accepted into a particular college…yet needed my “encouragement” to keep pushing hard towards that goal…but I do think just knowing he (finally!) did his very best (earned high honors for second quarter grades) was an important lesson… Best of luck</p>
<p>The stereotypes are funny. My daughter’s boyfriend is going to a school about 2 1/2 hours away from the school my daughter will be attending. They have decided to give the “long distance” relationship a try. The boyfriend seems pretty confident that my daughter won’t meet any guys that will give him a run for the money because she is planning on studying biochemistry and he figures only “nerdy” guys lacking social skills and looks will be in the program. We will see because she is definitely not the homely and socially awkward female scientist type.</p>