<p>Sorry midmo, I missed that and you are right. I have a cousin whose kid went to college at 16 and they had a nail biting year. He was immature for a 16 year old- let alone to be at college- but it worked out. YMMV.</p>
<p>I think social maturity works on its own mysterious timetable, but sophomore year of HS is not too early to work on the Life Skills curriculum. Making a simple meal; doing the family laundry; making his own dentist appointment and having to verify all the insurance information; taking the bus to the eye doctor; filling out the application for a learner’s permit and then calling the auto insurance company to find out what the increase on the policy will be… these are all things OP’s kid can do over the next 18 months to gradually increase his ability to get along in the world. They aren’t intellectual in nature, but once he gets more competent it will be easier to assess if he has the maturity for college. 14 year olds are so childlike in some ways that I agree it will be tough to figure out the right next step for him.</p>
<p>This thread possibly deserves a ‘sticky’ for all the great suggestions.</p>
<p>My S was 17 when he began college, and found many others a year or 2 younger. One teacher mentioned Simon’s Rock to me, but I did not investigate. An acquaintance in NY let her son begin college early, but he commuted from home. </p>
<p>I do not know what is available at your S’s school. Unlike Midmo’s school district, ours had nothing to offer son. He took 10 classes at the local college in junior year. His guidance counselor encouraged him to apply to state U. The HS saved money by his leaving early.</p>
<p>I’m impressed by how many activities your son does. That makes me wonder what is the root cause of his sadness. Is there a school culture that demeans the bright boys?</p>
<p>Oh, I was <em>sure</em> my son would be a mess at MIT, where he arrived at age 16 (he turned 17 a month later). Then I thought about how thrilled he would be to find intellectual peers who didn’t make fun of him for his love of robots and the nuances of computers. I thought about how many of his friends were four and five years older than him, even when he was 13. I worried over his tendency to get so involved in a project that he would forget to eat–but I told myself that other people would bring him pizza too. I never worried about his ability to persuade others to do what he wanted, because he’d shown an astonishing ability to lead from behind. Imagine a ninth-grader who persuades a group of seniors to follow his lead!</p>
<p>So when he went off to college at 16, I made sure the RA knew how young he was, and I tried to let go. I knew he would be fine when I called on his 17th birthday and he told me three different girls had made him brownies to celebrate.</p>
<p>At the end of soph year (when he was 15), I was very concerned about how S1 would function in college. Ditto others’ concerns about eating, showering, laundry, money, getting organized. The lightswitch flipped on after he attended a summer math program the summer after soph year. He grew so much emotionally those last two years – he became comfortable speaking in front of large groups, learned to advocate for himself, and basically his motto was “bring it on!” He was 17 when he started college and was absolutely ready to roll.</p>
<p>I think the summer math programs my S attended were very helpful. He lived in a university dorm, had to do his own laundry, etc… By the time he went to college, he was very self-reliant. I somehow did not worry about the social scene. He was used to being with older students from 8th grade on. He was fine.</p>
<p>And while I know there are times S doesn’t eat properly, wash his clothes often enough or clean his room, it’s not my problem now. Besides, we have found at our house that wanting to date young women is a good motivator to attend to some of those things! :)</p>
<p>Reading is a GREAT way to improve English skills. </p>
<p>Don’t worry about finding books that are high literature or award-winners, just go for a topic he likes (whether it’s math-related, murder mysteries, sci-fi, whatever). Does he like fantasy? Terry Pratchett’s books are hilarious, thoughtful, and well-written.</p>
<p>I think my S has the complete Terry Pratchett’s works!</p>
<p>I suggest that Bogibogi and son consider early graduation from high school now, which means making sure he’s fulfilled the requirements (in case he should want to apply to and matriculate at a college that does insist on a high school diploma) and taking as many of the SATs as will be necessary and feasible between now and June. He can apply to college next fall, make up his mind one year from now whether to go straight to college or ask for a deferral so he can take a gap year.</p>
<p>I knew one parent who was a long time senior tutor and was adamant that her children should not start school early because she had seen too many cases of immaturity among younger students. But her kids were very far advanced; and because the family was moving away, it was decided that the oldest child should graduate early rather than begin senior year in a new school (she was already loaded with APs.) The girl did apply to a top college and got in, but the parents insisted that she take a gap year. Despite all sorts of plans for pursuing various ECs (the girl was multi-talented), she ended up auditing several college classes. She might as well have taken the same classes for credit! So with the next kid, the parents relented and allowed him to matriculate early.
S also knew a pair of siblings, the oldest of whom took a gap year after being admitted to an Ivy; but the younger sibling graduated from high school at 16 and went straight to another Ivy. My S used to say the younger sibling often acted immature (hah! talk about the pot calling the kettle black) but the kid has been thriving in college.</p>
<p>Now that I think of it, the math summer program he went to was almost 4 weeks long and he was absolutely fine. He claimed to have eaten, showered, laundered and studied lots. He came back unscathed. Actually, he was very sad to come back; he wished he could stay there all summer. I was more caught off guard by midmo’s warning of explicit behavior in the dorm. He has definitely not been exposed to that aspect of life, but I suspect a lot of freshman witness things they have never seen before.</p>
<p>Thank you for the amusing, yet reassuring tales.</p>
<p>Bookworm - My son’s dream is to make it to the International Math Olympiad team. If he had his way, he would devote all his time to this pursuit because it really is like training for the olympics. And while he enjoys his clubs and the kids in them, some aspects of high school really turn him off. Some of the kids are waaay too competitive only caring about their grades, a lot of the work is pointless and boring, etc. Generally he views high school as a time suck keeping him from doing what he really wants to do. Doth he protest too much? Probably. Will he have the same complaints in college? Who knows, but I hope not. I hope that college will allow him to connect with his intellectual peers, open his eyes to new interests that are presented to him in engaging ways, gain more confidence in his abilities…Maybe I hope too much.</p>
<p>Well, bobi,
You asked and lots of people offered the suggestion to discuss early graduation with your son, plan to meet HS requirements now, and let him make the ultimate decision to fill out applications. Applying at the last minute (12/31) probably hurt my son. Also, he couldn’t arrange interviews for most colleges. Your son will feel that “you have his back”, and appreciate his current struggles. Your support and a not-so-distant goal could motivate him to complete this year with more enthusiasm.</p>
<p>It is a case study of one, but the Val of class S should have graduated with had great GPA, but had consistently not taken the toughest courses. What happened? He’s went to flagship, and the kids #2,3, and so on, fared much better. My Ss ECs and the others were time-consuming. I have no inside info about recommendations or his essays.</p>
<p>It would be nice if there was a school within driving distance from your home. Neither dmd’s son nor mine had that option.</p>
<p>Bookworm: of course my son had the option of going to college closer to home. University of Washington has a nice early entrance program (they do high school as one intensive year, then enroll in college at age 15). We looked at it, in fact. But my son decided at age 12 that MIT was the place for him, and he made it happen. Was MIT the best place for him? I think other places would have worked too, but he certainly found his intellectual peers there.</p>
<p>OP, I have a lot of admiration for your son. It sounds like he cares much more about learning than about grades. Many top colleges have students who feel the same way. I would not nag him about grades. However, I would try to have some family discussions about ways in which knowledge of math and science integrates with knowledge about social studies and English. Try to get him to do some mega-thinking also. For example, you can discuss energy policy, and bring in the math/science principles with what it takes to formulate policy/introduce bills/get them passed. You can subscribe to a periodical that examines these issues. Then, you can discuss other ways in which evidence is developed (or not) to guide policy in other fields. The trick here is to look for the big questions and the big ideas. This will prepare him for college, whether he ends up at MIT or somewhere else, and it will stimulate his thinking and enhance your relationship with him. Good luck!</p>
<p>My s had naked roommate issues…He found it very upsetting…We told him just to laugh and ignore it…He also had some hygiene issues, so my S ended up spraying air freshener around whenever he left the room. Luckily, he was able to get a new roommate this semester.Housing did not give his roommate another person, and no one from the quad down the hall wanted to move in either…</p>
<p>dm,
“But my son decided at age 12 that MIT was the place for him, and he made it happen. Was MIT the best place for him? I think other places would have worked too, but he certainly found his intellectual peers there.”</p>
<p>As you say, he would have found intellectual peers elsewhere too. But he had a dream, did his part - and then you helped fulfill it. Doesn’t that feel terrific?</p>
<p>I learn so much here. I didn’t know UW had such a program. </p>
<p>I guess I just miss being able to see my son more often. If he had listened to me, he would have been a geologist specializing in hurricanes. That’s the only way that we’d be living in same state.</p>
<p>Bogi, Your son sounds really bright and creative. I do think he’ll like college atmosphere more than HS. He’ll still have courses and profs and homework that he won’t like doing, but he will be challenged. No one talks about their SAT scores, proofs are done in small groups, and freshman rooms can be messy and smelly. What is wonderful is watching the maturing process.</p>
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