<p>I have a junior and an eighth grader, so what I've told my eighth grader is to start thinking of what if anything she wants to focus on outside of school. She doesn't play an instrument, she doesn't like sports, she doesn't want to join any "dorky" club and that's fine, but I want her to start thinking about what she'd like to do based on her interests. I've learned from my son that padding your resume is not what it's about, but finding something you love and devoting yourself to it. So I'd like to help my daughter find that passion and then figure out ways to experience it over the next fews years.</p>
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I have a junior and an eighth grader, so what I've told my eighth grader is to start thinking of what if anything she wants to focus on outside of school.
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Concentrating on a few activities that you care about is good for college admissions. I also think that it is a good approach to life itself. This is probably true for some people more than others, but I think that it helps to focus a person and give them a sense of accomplishment as they go thru life.</p>
<p>On the issue of college visits: While I don't think going on a lot of tours/info sessions would have been a good idea before junior year, I wish we had visited more college campuses. We do a fair amount of traveling, and we've driven with a few miles of a lot of schools in the last few years -- but it never occurred to us to take an hour and walk around them. The goal wouldn't have been to select a college, but that when the student is reading up on these schools later, they might dredge up a memory of what they look like. I think the book descriptions would be enhanced by a memory, even a vague one, of the school.</p>
<p>It is recommended by the admissions guides that you just visit colleges to get a feel for different kinds, even though you may have no intention of applying to the particular college that you are visiting. That way you can get a feel for large/medium/small, urban/suburban/rural, and so forth.</p>
<p>People may disagree with me, but if your child is at all interested in a sport, I would highly encourage them to persue it in high school.
Kids who have stayed with the same sport for four years almost always improve a lot, make a lot of close friends on the team, have opportunities for leadership and awards, and enjoy the balance sports brings to in their lives. Not every kid is cut our for it, of course, but it's worth the committment if your kid enjoys it.
In college admissions, the scholar/athlete is a hard combination to beat. You don't need to be a star- just competent enough to participate at Div. III - in order for it to provide a big boost in admissions. Colleges, especially those who don't recruit or give scholarships, need to fill their teams.</p>
<p>With an 8th grader, make sure they can take good notes or to discover their own learning style, because HS moves very fast</p>
<p>Visit ALL the club meetings in highschool for the first few weeks because something new might pop up and they will meet a lot of kids</p>
<p>DOn't be afraid to fail at something- ie tryout for the plays, the newspaper, the yearbook, a sports team, most kids "fail" when trying out by not getting picked, but just the trying out is good</p>
<p>Do not be afraid to talk to your teachers- most hs teachers like it when kids speak up, ask questions, ask for help</p>
<p>Do not be afraid to see you counselor "just because" developing that relationship early can really help</p>
<p>Do not be afraid to ask a different teacher for help- if your math teacher is terrible, go to another math teacher, its okay, they don't talk about you or anything and teachers all know that not every teacher-student match is a good one</p>
<p>Set a plan and a schedule- tonight I will spend 1 hour on the internet/phone/games combined, and that is AFTER my homework is done, I will start my project today even though its not due for two weeks, </p>
<p>Volunteer, not just for college apps, but becuase it feels good, it puts things in perspective, and you can meet great people</p>
<p>Exercise even if not in a sport</p>
<p>Cut down on caffience, cause teens have such a weird sleeping pattern anyone, don't add to the mix</p>
<p>Learn its okay to say no to sex, drugs, drinking, and still have friends</p>
<p>Don't think you have to handle everything, try, but if you need, seek help</p>
<p>take care of your body- eat well, sleep</p>
<p>A biggie I almost forgot- keep a good reputation- don't be seen as a cheater, a gossip, a "overly" friendly person (if you get my drift), a busy buddy- whatever- those first impressions in hs can, unfortuneately, last a long time</p>
<p>Instead, be friendly, talk to people, compliment people, be nice, be smart, don't be afraid to speak up for yourself, be brave and be yourself</p>
<p>All of these ideas will make hs experience better, thus the college hunt easier</p>
<p>It is not too early to plan out her schedule for all four years to make sure that she can get everything in for a strong application. Sometimes it is a balancing act to get everything needed (For Lang, math, etc). It helps if the student is advanced in some areas. We had the high school change the type of schedule on us (from 6 regular periods to a 4X4 block), some of the higher achieving students got locked out of Calculus and foreign language. (The school "forgot" them and scheduled the necessary teachers to teach remedial classes instead.)</p>
<p>It is necessary to stay on top of things and not expect the school to do what is needed.</p>
<p>Also, we started using the fin aid calculators in sophomore year to begin to get an idea of what our EFC would be. That's when we realized we would have to rely on merit aid and what we could pay out-of-pocket.</p>
<p>Understand the general financial aid process - reduce any savings in her name by paying for her extracurriculars, summer programs, etc. out of accounts in her name. Although I don't think it would have helped us much to start a few years earlier - silly us for saving for college for 18 years - now they expect us to actually use that money for college! ;-)</p>
<p>Do get a general idea of how many courses in different subjects are required by various types of colleges - a good GC dept is very helpful in this. It may be necessary to start planning courses freshman year on. If she really has a passion and the top schools in that specialty have requirements you want to make sure they're met if she continues on that path.</p>
<p>Check out summer programs where they stay at college campuses - like CyberCamps - our S spent a week or two at a small private college, medium state university, and two different large state universities over the years. It'll give her some basis of understanding of how they differ when she starts investigating in a couple of years.</p>
<p>If there's an interesting school near a family vacation spot it's worth just taking a quick look. Always make sure to jot down a few notes about her impressions for later reference.</p>
<p>Don't even think about a Dream College yet - if anything, just start considering a Dream Type of College Experience. Absolutely don't start limiting to specific schools yet. If you end up with a range of possiblities, any of which fit into that Dream, it'll be much more likely to be met.</p>
<p>@bandit TX - The education that an undergraduate will receive at an ivy league is comparable, or in some cases worse than the education you would receive at a top small institution. I am not saying that a student should disregard the Ivy League. Rather, I'm suggesting that they look at all the possibilities before they decide that an Ivy League school is for them. Surely you agree?</p>
<p>I have to say that as a student, I had no desire to do anything towards college in 8th grade. I would not have been happy if my parents had raised it, and I'm glad they didn't. I've lived in Switzerland for the past ten years, and I guess the environment is very different, but no one thought about college until last year. I was accepted to my first choice college in early decision. I think that enjoying high school is very important because it's something to be enjoyed. It shouldn't be a thought of as merely a gateway to college but an experience unto itself.</p>
<p>@citygirlsmom: As a student, I have to say that I disagree with a lot of what you said. (Although a lot was very good) I think that you, as you should, have approached the problem from the perspective of a parent. However, as a student, who has just gone through all of this I'd like to comment on a few things you said. I do this not so much because they aren't good ideas, merely unrealistic.</p>
<p>I think it's wrong to visit ALL club meetings, especially those in which the student doesn't have interests. If a kid has a good group of friends he/she isn't going to be in a hurry to make new ones. On the other hand if there's a topic that really interests the student by all means he/she should pursue it my all means available.</p>
<p>I definitely agree that you should talk to your teachers. They always appreciate the contribution, and it makes class more fun.</p>
<p>Although a plan or schedule is good in theory, it doesn't work in practice. (At least not for any kid I've actually met.) Yes, it is a good idea to get homework out of the way. However, who doesn't procrastinate? The fact is that throughout high school most of us didn't start our homework until ten in the evening. Does this mean we did badly? No. The only difference was in how much sleep we got. I think it's really important for the student to develop his own work habits that work. If this means working and then playing, that's great. But, if it means working until 1 every night then let him/her do that. It will work better. </p>
<p>Caffeine is a godsend :P. (suppose I'm proving your point... but Ill do that)</p>
<p>It's true that kids have to learn that its okay to say no to sex, drugs, drinking, and still have friends. However, more important is to instill in them a sense of maturity. Trust them, but guide them through everything. The fact is that I think kids don't have much of a problem saying no. The thing is, those things are all appealing. So how do I think parents should ideally deal with it? I think my parents did this very well. They should start from a very young age telling them things like that are bad. Then begin to talk about experiences they've had and things that they did. It makes it much more real. I think it's safe to say that by the end of high school many kids will have done at least two, if not three, of the things in that list. It's ok. As long as kids know their limits, and know when to stop, and back out I think it's fine. (And as you said, know how to say no)</p>
<p>Finally, I'd say socially go for whatever works. If the kid likes being a snob, well at some point he/she'll get cut down to size but until then it's best to let kids learn that for themselves. They'll turn out fine :).</p>
<p>All of your other ideas I think were very good. I thought I'd say all this, not because it'll help your college search but because I think its useful information. Well, its only my opinion (obviously) but just remember each kid needs to work and do things his own way. As long as it works (within reason) I don't really see the problem. Finally, choose your battles!</p>
<p>As a Junior in HS, I believe one of the most important things for your daughter right now is to establish a sense of self-motivation. the fact that you as a mother are the one on CC and not she as the student is your first problem. She has to realize that it is her job to make her high school years a success... In my experience with my classmates, I have noticed that the kids that get into the best schools are the ones whose motivation and drive comes from themselves, not thier parents. I know you are just trying to do what's best for your daughter, but you should probably try to be a little less involved.</p>
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ut you should probably try to be a little less involved.
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I have seen this type of comment on CC and I don't disagree with the spirit of the statement. The student does have to be the person wanting it to happen and doing the academic work. It seems, though, that people may be saying it because they have seen so many parents trying to force their kids into doing it, perhaps because of their own need for vicarious success. If this is the case, then by all means back off. However, parents can be very helpful in the process. I think any high school student would appreciate some help with the process provided they wanted the help.</p>
<p>Never come back to this site :)</p>
<p>Here's an interesting article on the subject:</p>
<p>Keep track of all activities and community service as he does them.. trust me it will be a time saver when he needs to fill out applications later and he can be sure he covers all his bases. Take the PSATs as a Sophomore and Junior. Fill out the Fastweb profile now... that way he can work on scholarships as they come and not wait until the last minute.</p>
<p>Well, I am currently in High School persuing some excellent colleges. </p>
<p>Firs off, don't push the Harvard, Princeton, Yale package on your child, and if they insist that they are going there just mention that there are other GREAT schools. When I was a kid my parents and I always talked about my going to Harvard, and now that I'm applying it's a little akward. You see, my parents are slightly dissappointed because they always thoght Harvard, but I'm "only" applying to Georgetown and Northwestern. You see?</p>
<p>Secondly, try and find an excellent high school in YOUR area. I currently attend a very prestigious high school, and I am a day student. We have many borders, and from my experience, the borders tend to get into more trouble and sway from their studies more. I'm not saying that would happen to you child, but you know what I mean. However, it's different for everyone, and if you AND your child both think boarding school is the best option, by all means go for it.</p>
<p>And lastly, start saving...</p>
<p>*<em>Realize that many high schools find creative ways to limit the advanced courses that your student may need. *</em></p>
<pre><code> Hazmat, what did you mean when you said that?
</code></pre>
<p>I would NOT push the dream college idea. I dont have a dream college (theres flaws about every school), and Im pretty relaxed through this whole process. Of course, that may be partially due to the fact that Im holding 2 EA acceptance letters of schools I could definitely see myself at. I would strongly recommend going that route, too get in somewhere EA that you would definitely enjoy and is match/safety territory. I know lots of people who went super-reach ED and are now freaking out over this whole process. If I dont get in anywhere RD, Ill be disappointed, but its not the end of the world.</p>
<p>Also, dont be too overbearing, and honestly, the fact that youre on here already kind of signals to me that theres a strong possibility (though not definite) that you might ride your kid a bit too hard. The kid has to learn his or her own motivation. If you do indeed push the kid very hard in everything, he or she will probably burn out eventually, and will never really learn to work on their own. I coasted by on God-given intelligence until about fourth quarter of sophomore year and something just clicked. Push your kid to do well just not that hard.</p>
<p>Push them to try new things and get involved early with extracurriculars. Sports always look nice, if they played in middle school but dont think theyre big enough or good enough, tell them to at least try out. Especially if your school has a freshman team in that sport, theyll probably make it and have a lot of fun. And if they decide after a week that maybe it wasnt a good idea, then colleges have no idea that the kid quit, and they missed a week of after school activities. If they do quit but they enjoy it, encourage them to continue! I was an early bloomer, so I was almost 6 feet in 8th grade so I played center in basketball. Of course, I didnt grow anymore (and I knew I wouldnt) so I quit playing but I still really enjoyed it. I organized an intramural recreation league that has about 30 kids. Everyone I interviewed with seemed interested in this, and I think it definitely helped my otherwise lackluster EC resume.</p>
<p>This turned out longer than I expected, but hey I'm a senior! There is no work yayyy</p>
<p>Tell your D to live life in the moment and enjoy high school while it lasts. If you're only looking forward to the <em>next</em> four years in your life then you'll never live in the present- it's a bad habit to get into.</p>
<p>You should encourage her to work hard, get involved etc. but not just to get into college. She should do it for herself, and develope her own motivation to succeed. Doing thing "just for college" can seem meaningless and unfulfilling. </p>
<p>And IMO try not to think about any college specifics until junior year. The first two years of high school are about high school, not college. Anyway, colleges want to see that you enjoyed high school and did things you love. Believe it or not, it shows on your application.</p>
<p>Citygirlsmom,</p>
<p>Just wanted to say I loved your list so much I sent it to my daughter. I think it's fantastic advice!</p>
<p>As a current highschool junior, the things I regret the MOST about not doing as a freshmen and upwards...</p>
<p>1) NOT taking HS seriously. I got a 3.7 freshmen year, which is pretty good (though I could have done much better if I studied), but my sophomore year, I slacked off majorly and it dropped down to a 3.4uw/3.5w. This year it's going down even further. If your kid is going for a top school, just casually remind them that this is for REAL - it's not middleschool where your record will pretty much be erased after 8th grade. Then again, this is a lesson I had to learn myself; maybe reminding your kid of this would only make them more determined to fail (I admit, whenever my parents told me to work hard, I didn't listen :x).</p>
<p>2) Not joining Debate Team till sophomore year/not taking it seriously. I do Debate very, very infrequently, and now that 8 of the kids on my team are going to Metros (more than three of them sophomores!), I regret that I didn't concentrate more on improving Debate and joining it earlier. While I will still do debate for fun next year, I'll always feel like I missed out on a great opportunity to shine in something. So if your kid is interested in a sport, and seems like they might want to take it seriously, encourage them and tell them to try out, even if they're scared! It could lead to great opportunities at the best, or at the worst, lead to awesome bonds with people you've been with for three years. </p>
<p>3) Not doing a ton of extracurriculars. Sure, I have debate and a ton of other clubs in school, but I'm just now starting to volunteer and do stuff outside of school. I did things like piano (very standard and boring) outside of school since the 4th grade, but that's about it. If your kid is even slightly interested in dance, or voice lessons, or whatever, sign them up for it!! Actually, I wish my parents had signed me up for classical Indian dance (bharatnatyum) when I was younger, because now that I'm older and going to college soon, it's not worth it to start learning, but I feel really left out and regret not doing it when I was younger. :(</p>
<p>Other than that... here's stuff I'm glad I did:</p>
<p>1) Researching colleges early! Up till now, I thought I wanted to go to Columbia, and had based my college list around that dream. But since I've been researching colleges since 9th grade (not extensively... just visiting the websites or princetonreview.com, etc) I realized that Columbia was not really my thing - I was more into Brown. If your kid is really interested in colleges, tell them to go to princetonreview.com, collegeboard.com, college websites, or even CC :D if not, don't force it till late junior year - they'll figure it out eventually. </p>
<p>2) Pretty much planning out my schedule for all of HS. A lot has changed, and I'm in a little trouble right now because of my third science elective summer school/gov school schedule conflict, but since I planned my schedule out each year, I'm never rushed or hurried when the counselor calls me in to see them about next year, and I have time to think about second options of what to do if one class is not available. </p>
<p>3) Taking an SAT class. For some people, just buying a book or even not studying is good enough. Unfortunately, I'm very easily distracted, so an SAT course was the way for me. I took one at Princeton Review (you can find PR classes near you through their website) which I highly recommend - they give 3 very realistic practice exams and go in depth about specific ETS test taking strategies. However, they're pretty expensive so you might wanna look into other options. </p>
<p>Also, like citysgirlmom said -- EXERCISE!! Even if you're not playing a sport! This is <em>so</em> important. Right now, I'm ALWAYS exhausted because I'm not currently taking yoga or doing any exercise. So even if I get 8 hours of sleeping, I'm exhausted after school, and sleep till 6 in the evening, then procrastinate and my homework doesn't get started till like 12am, and on and on... so my sleep habits are REALLY bad right now, which in turn affect my grades. Also, caffeine? After you take your first AP, you learn that caffeine is for the weak ;) </p>
<p>Good luck!</p>