<p>Heyy. So I got waitlisted for my dorms and therefore moved into a residential hall. I'm a pretty shy girl at first so making new good friends is not the easiest task for me to do. My roommate didn't come yet either so basically I'm all alone in my room, and I hate it because with my friends back home we are really social and always go out and have fun. I feel awkward though going around and just saying hi to people becuase 1. A lot of the girls seem either snotty or preppy and Im not either of those and 2. Even if i say hi it doesnt really lead to any real conversation. Does anyone please have any advice for me????</p>
<p>Keep at it....if you stay in your room you look snotty, even if it is shyness, there has to be somebody there who is socialable...for no one to be approachable seems odd</p>
<p>Preppy, well,t hat is a matter of style, not necessisarly, of temperment,
my D dresses preppy to a degree, but in attitude, not the "stereotype"</p>
<p>Anyway, just keep at it, ask LOTS and LOTS of questions, without being annoying</p>
<p>People love to talk about themselves</p>
<p>Give real compliments, hey, great shoes, or nice bed spread</p>
<p>Think about this, how long did you know your old friends before you got to that great comfort level...it took more than a few days</p>
<p>When my Ds were younger, the trick they learned to say something nice or get information, and not just say Hi....are these girls older, or freshman, have they lived together a long time, or new roomates, what is the shopping like, where is a good place to get supplies</p>
<p>try getting advice, asking about a professor, library hours, etc...these are your roommates as well, and now is the time to go out of the comfort zone...
these are college girls, not highschool, and while you may have a few snots, most are probably very nice and just like you , tryng to figure it out</p>
<p>Leave your door open and stay in your room with some music playing softly that people can hear. Have a box of cookies or candy around. When other people walk by and look toward you wave and offer them candy/cookies.</p>
<p>Know that probably most other freshmen and the transfers feel just as shy as you and are worried about making friends. The people who seem preppy or snobby may be just like you -- anxious about being in a new environment away from their friends.</p>
<p>Go to any activities, too, that you have the slightest interest in. These could be recruitment activities for clubs, hall meetings, community service activities, etc. This is a wonderful way of meeting people. Try to wear something like a T-shirt that tells something about you (such as one representing an activity you participated in, a joke you like, etc.) or wear an interesting piece of jewelry or carry a book reflecting your interests. All of those are potential conversation openers.</p>
<p>If someone comments, have a follow-up comment that opens the door to more conversation.</p>
<p>Example of what not to do:</p>
<p>Other person says, "Do you like that book?"</p>
<p>You: "Yes. Not a good comment. Sounds unfriendly, like you don't want to be bothered.</p>
<p>What to do:
Other person: "Do you like that book?"</p>
<p>You: "I haven't read enough to know, but I bought it because I'm really interested in [insert something here about your interests]" Then follow up with a comment that lets them tell gou something about themselves: "What kind of books do you like?"</p>
<p>Oh, one last thing; It's fine to tell people that you're shy. Most people actually like shy people and have a lot of empathy for them because -- believe it or not -- most Americans consider themselves shy.</p>
<p>So, if you say something like, "Wow! It's a little overwhelming being a freshman. I'm shy and this is the first time I've gone some place before where I don't know anyone," this can help you make friends. People then will know that if you're quiet, it's not because you're snobbish or don't like them. Most people are insecure about things like that, even people who seem very confident.</p>
<p>I'm a pretty friendly person, and at my old school, I met two of my closest friends from there with, of all things, my hat. I didn't start the conversation, but here's what amounted:</p>
<p>Guy #1: Hey man, nice Steelers hat.
Me: Thanks, you're a Steelers fan too?
Guy #1: Yeah, I'm actually about 30 miles east of Pittsburgh.
Me: Really? What area?
Guy #1: You know the exit past the Pittsburgh one on the turnpike, going towards Philly?
Me: Yeah, I've been through there.
Guy #1: I'm from there. And you're from?
Me: 12 miles north of the city.
Guy #1: So, you think the Steelers are going to win big again?
Guy #2: No way, it's gonna be the Browns.
Me: The Browns?
Guy #2: Well, I heard you guys are from Pittsburgh. I'm a Clevelander.
Me: Hey, no problem with that.
Guy #1: Yeah, not until the Steelers play Cleveland.
Guy #2: Really, they're probably not as good as you guys, but you've got to root for your team.
Me: Yeah, been there done that in 2003.
Guy #1: At least you didn't lose your two top running backs. (NOTE: Staley and Bettis were both hurt around this time, but this did lead to Parker becoming the starter at HB)
Guy #2: But hey, you guys don't have Suggs to bring you down. He's always hurt.</p>
<p>We basically talked about football for a while and then found out what activites we enjoyed and whatnot. The three of us stuck together the rest of the day and even though I'm gone I still talk to these two guys now and then. All because of a simple conversation about football.</p>
<p>Now granted, you're a girl so you might not be into football, but I'm sure you'll find something to spark a conversation.</p>
<p>Mac's example also was a nice example of how if one chooses clothing that says something about your interests, it may attract to you people who also share those interests.</p>
<p>The CC archives has other threads about how to overcome shyness. Several posters have posted for advice on this issue.</p>
<p>Also check the website shyness.com for info.</p>
<p>Leave your door open and try to sit within view. If the hall set-up allows, stop by other people's open rooms on your way back from the restroom, water fountain, front door, whatever. If school's just started, nobody will think twice about "Hey, I'm _____, I live across the hall. How's move in going for you guys?" I met my best friend walking back from the restroom, doubling back at her door, and commenting on a poster. </p>
<p>Don't write people off before you meet them. If you say hi and decide they're not your type, then the worst thing that happens is that you're in the same boat you're in now, but at least you know you won't be missing out.</p>
<p>The earlier it is, the easier it is to meet people. Anything goes, really. You'll be fine...good luck and enjoy move-in :-)</p>