<p>CC is fine but not necessary. There are alternative ways to finish high school, or get a GED, and still go to very satisfactory colleges after things settle down. PM me if you like.</p>
<p>I’ve told my son’s story several times on CC–this might be a possible path for your daughter. DS was diagnosed with depression late in his junior year in hs. Lots of hand-wringing on our part as to how we could have missed it for so long. His grades had taken a real tumble beginning around sophomore year. Long story short, he began weekly therapy sessions as well as an anti-depressant. I think the smartest thing we did for him academically was to move him to a private hs and have him repeat his junior year. He really needed a re-do, and this was not possible in public school. </p>
<p>With his mixed academic record I really had no idea how he’d do with college admissions, but he got into most of the 14 schools he applied to. His SATs were good. He wrote an essay about his bout of depression. He’s doing very well.</p>
<p>Bottom line is I agree to focus on your daughter’s mental health, but I can totally sympathize with the “what does this mean for college?” at the back of your mind. If she’s responding to therapy well, I’d consider having her repeat her junior year.</p>
<p>I agree it’s important to focus on her health right now. Everything else is secondary.</p>
<p>Big hugs here too. Your daughter will come out of this and be successful in her time! It is so good to see all the advise and caring you are getting and the 504, other accommodations …this site is a good place! Your counselor should have it in their file the onset date of your child’s illness to document going forward. There is also programs in our area through various school districts that allow students to go to class (offsite) once a week and the rest is independent study. My daughter’s BFF is in it now and is thriving after the walls of the high school closed in on her. She can also choose to take a few classes at school and go to all the high school functions. Her grades and outlook improved dramatically!</p>
<p>I would be interested in this thread’s contributors’ thoughts on the theory of positive disintegration. I think there needs to be a lot more research on the neurobiological and genetic components of mental health and personality. These kids need good medical support, both in terms of potentially balancing and regulating neurotransmitters and also in therapeutic support; they may have enormous potential for contributing to our society if we help them through some of these tougher phases of their lives. I have found that few people in the schools and medical field are knowledgeable in these issues.</p>
<p>I was trying to express some of this in my first post, in layman’s terms. I view this kind of “disintegration” (and I have gone through this as a parent) as an opportunity, not a disaster- but only if viewed and handled in that way by parents, school, professionals, friends and ultimately the person herself. This does not minimize the lifelong problems that some people may have once mental health issues first develop, but puts those problems in a perspective that demonstrates the continued value of their experiences and contributions.</p>
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This is excellent advice. Don’t ignore your own mental health.</p>
<p>I will probably get flamed for this, but I have seen several IB students crash… some in HS, some just after graduation (including a nephew). I put part of the blame on the program, devouring students, not allowing them the normal experiences of growing up. The course load (for some kids - obviously not all, and not even a high percentage) has the possibility of becoming overwhelming in ways not initially apparent. I agree with lots of the others here.</p>
<p>Is there a college in your city or nearby where she can initially attend but be close for your support?</p>
<p>ScardeyMom,</p>
<p>I completely understand where you are coming from. I’ve got a D that is going through this same scenario but she’s a senior and she has decisions to make about where to go to college in the next month (fortunately there are some good options both academically and financially). Some days there are normal discussions, other days, my head gets taken off. We’ve got a good team for both the ADD and depression but it will be time before there are significant improvements and we’re just trying to squeeze in enough full days at school for her to graduate. Grades have tanked and the depression makes it hard for her to see any hope of improvement. The school is marginally helpful but doesn’t get how hard it is for her. I think they secretly think it’s just senioritis. The treating therapist is going to take a turn dealing with them. I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck.</p>
<p>Meg</p>
<p>I know a few kids who really couldn’t function well at all in senior year, but were protected in some way by family or by school, and then went to college in the fall and did fine.</p>
<p>I know others who fell apart and stayed that way for a couple of years, then followed whatever path developed, and are also doing fine.</p>
<p>I know still others who are really not doing fine, but that is usually due to family finances and lack of support (you are 18 and not my problem anymore) than actual mental health.</p>
<p>“CC is fine but not necessary. There are alternative ways to finish high school, or get a GED, and still go to very satisfactory colleges after things settle down. PM me if you like.”</p>
<p>Ditto. I work with many families in this situation and was once in it myself. Your daughter’s health is worth worrying about. HS isn’t. Really, as long as she recovers fully, you will look back in retrospect and wonder why you gave HS/college so much attention. Focus on the thing that matters. A bright person can ALWAYS resume her education, on one of many different paths, and there are usually zero long-term consequences from the interruption. There’s no asterisk on my college diploma saying that I was a transfer, or that I got in on a GED, or that I was 24 when I graduated. No one asks, and no one cares.</p>
<p>So just focus all your attention on issues of health and happiness, and put education on the back burner where it belongs. It’ll still be there while you get treatment for this treatable condition. Good luck!</p>
<p>So sorry you are dealing with this. My D is a junior and in IB. I would suggest dialing back the IB if you need to. In my D’s school there is so much freedom given to these students that you have to be very self motivated to proceed and figure it all out. I know my ADHD S will likely not take these classes although he is stronger academically. </p>
<p>I would focus on your D right now and not college, unless that is what she wants. THere are so many paths through to a successful and satisfying life.</p>
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<p>But not in an IB diploma program. </p>
<p>When you have a better idea of the options that should be considered for the sake of your daughter’s health, you will need to talk to the school’s IB coordinator to see whether these options can be reconciled with staying in IB. Often, the answer is no. This can be especially difficult for students who have to transfer to another school if they leave an IB diploma program, but unfortunately, leaving that program may be necessary even if the student would prefer not to.</p>
<p>Agree on pulling back from IB. D is gritting it through, but senior year gets harder still than junior year. My cool as a cucumber kid has been pushed pretty close to the brink a few times with IB and doesn’t sleep much. That would certainly make any tendency towards depression worse. If your D has been working at that level even a moderate pullback might be enough to give her some space and breathing room to collect herself. IB has so many other requirements to juggle that can really weigh on a kid.</p>
<p>“But not in an IB diploma program.”</p>
<p>From my point of view, that’s about as relevant as the fact that the diploma might be awarded in an even-numbered year instead of the expected odd-numbered year. Someday this student will enroll in a four-year college, and no one will ever ask or care for the rest of her life whether she completed an IB diploma. It’s one good path among many to a four-year college, and if for any reason it doesn’t work out for a student, switch to a different path and keep going. It’s really not worth mourning one path vs. another.</p>
<p>My S decided to get an IB certificate and not go for the diploma. It was much less stress for him and he really enjoyed his IB courses. Everyone at his tiny school did the IB program, but there was no pressure to complete the diploma.</p>
<p>Hi everyone. Just wanted to add my advice. I’m a current undergrad, finishing up my applications to masters programs in education. So, I’ve had to do this college admissions thing twice and this second time it’s really wearing on me. So, here we go:</p>
<p>I relate very much to what a lot of you are saying. I have bipolar disorder and OCD, both of which have been very severe. I’ll spare you much of the details. I started off in 2002 at the honors program at my dream school–the University of Michigan.My psychiatrist thought I could do it, but the second my mom left me in Ann Arbor, I fell apart. I came home to the Univ. of Arizona in Tucson, which is two hours from my house. I fell apart again. And again. Then back to Michigan. Then I made it through the year, with three hospitalizations. Kept getting worse. I’ve had ECT and lots of medication trials. </p>
<p>My friends are all ahead of me, but I am taking my own path, I guess. I aspire to help college students one day when I am done with my masters and hopefully, get my doctorate. My senior year of high school was a disaster. I couldn’t sit in classes and we had many battles with the school over my attendance record (or lack thereof). I SO wish I had taken the year to get my head together before going to Michigan the first time. But everyone else was going to school and I wanted to go too. I had always been high achieving. My brother was in the IB program and graduated with honors at the University of Chicago. Now, he is in a doctoral program. And I’m finally getting my BA…now…in 2012 when I started college in 2002.</p>
<p>So…am I making sense? I’ve learned a lot from all this. I can’t push myself. I will always have to consider my mood disorder. I started off premed, but realized that is something that is not so realistic for me. But I can do a number of other things and help other people in my very own way, a way that might be different, but works better for me. </p>
<p>Please, focus on getting your daughter well. That is your first priority. When I was in high school, we didn’t know I was bipolar I until the very end. I should have been hospitalized on many occasions. I would suggest finding the very best doctor you can. College can always wait. Her life is what is most important. College will be there. </p>
<p>My friends are all ahead of me–doctors, lawyers, in PhD programs, and I am only now beginning graduate school. There are many paths. Please, please write me if you want. I really relate to your experience. </p>
<p>I am actually putting together a workshop on some of these things at the NAMI convention in Seattle. Are any of you going? </p>
<p>Best wishes,</p>
<p>Lizzy</p>
<p>Lizzy, thanks for sharing. You are touching and educating many people.</p>
<p>Lizzy, if I lived on the west coast, I would definitely attend the NAMI convention. I will be doing a NAMI walk in a couple of months.</p>
<p>In my NAMI class in the fall, a young woman with bipolar disorder came to speak to us. You remind me of her! She’s currently working on her master’s degree. She wants to counsel younger kids who are diagnosed with mental illness. It was really encouraging to see how great she’s doing. The first thing she told us was, “You need to know this about me: I’m strong because of my illness, not in spite of it.”</p>
<p>Lizzy, have you had to deal with ADHD also, as 95% of people with bipolar apparently have to? If so, what helped you with the combination of ADHD and bipolar, along the way?</p>
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<p>I agree completely, Hanna.</p>
<p>What I was trying to point out is that the student may resist this change if leaving the IB diploma program means changing schools – as it sometimes does, if the IB program serves a large area. In such instances, students who leave IB often are required to transfer to the high school that serves their neighborhood, which means leaving their friends.</p>