<p>This question may be too nuanced for most to answer, but we are an upper income suburban black family with a son who is begging us to let him attend boarding school. We live in a liberal, fairly well-to-do New Jersey suburb that has many black families like us, along with a liberal white population that allows these kids to be friends across racial lines. I went to a southern BS in the early 80s that only recruited black students through scholarship programs like ABC. Those were great programs and I continue to send donations to ABC and my school, but we were never accepted by white students because we were seen as "inner city scholarship blacks," and there were no middle income blacks to bridge the gap. Given what i just shared, are there certain top ten boarding schools that are more likely to have a student population that actually mixes and has African American students of all economic backgrounds? Or is the black population at these schools the same as when i went in early 80s? Are certain schools better at getting black and white students to interact socially? I see Asian and white students mixing, but almost no black and white mixing outside of sport activities.</p>
<p>I can’t speak to other schools, but my daughter, who is white and neither rich nor poor, attends Andover. She has good friends there who are black, white, Asian, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, atheist, gay, straight, wealthy, poor. I showed her your post, and she says there are plenty of middle income African American kids at Andover who mix right in with everyone else. It’s not a place where you see all the black kids sitting together in the dining hall. One of my daughter’s closest friends is an African American inner city scholarship kid, and she mixes in with everyone too. The Andover student body is very diverse and inclusive. So you might want to take a look at Andover.</p>
<p>Excellent questions. I think you really need to make time to visit schools of interest in session (not during the summer or breaks). Be sure that you stay through a meal (or that your child does). Let them watch the interaction, especially regarding other black students. This will not give you an answer, but will give you a view.
I certainly understand your reluctance to have him be at a school where the black students are viewed, as a whole, as the ‘scholarship kids’ or where most are indeed from an underpriviledged backgroup with whome he may have little in common with but be expected to hang out with simply because of the color of his skin.
On the flip side, I DO think that this generation of kids judges MUCH less on race than our generation. Kids tend to learn to mingle across racial and economic lines and ultimately find friends with similar goals and insterests.
Still, it is wise that you are working through this. I am sure there are ample schools that will meet his needs and have the demographics you are looking for…you just may have to pound the pavement a bit, which you clearly are willing to do!
T</p>
<p>Have to agree with the words of T, on the whole. (Your own observations will be key to your comfort in making the big decisions. The 21st century has seen improvements, overall.) Look for schools that provide financial aid to families making $80-200k, as most of the top 20 do.</p>
<p>As a newcomer to CC, you will find that many here believe that while #11-20 might not have the stratospheric prestige of #1-10, a targeted list solely of the latter is quite risky in the admissions game. (And the educational differences are not so great or important in the greater scheme of things.) I think, based on close observation over time, that Peddie and St. Andrew’s are good communities for African Americans and merit your consideration. You might find that having the school just an hour or two (or three) from home is helpful to you.</p>
<p>Thanks so much for your insight. I kind of assumed that Andover and Exeter would be the most diverse since they are so large. Unfortunately, those schools are just too big for our son. I will keep exploring.
Thanks!</p>
<p>Taben, you are right that my son and our family needs to visit the campuses, and really observe closely. I just thought that someone might have already been there done that. Thanks!</p>
<p>Your concern is valid - there are still some among the top (and probably elsewhere as well) where the student body as a whole is diverse, but the kids of color typically arrive through programs like ABC and therefore there is a whole lot of race/class alignment and not much of a black middle/upper class presence, which has the unfortunate effect of reinforcing some stereotypes on both sides. I would look carefully, ask pointed questions, and also look for schools that have valued diversity for more than just this generation, as they may have built the type of alumni base that supports what you’re looking for. Good luck with your search.</p>
<p>Dunsterhall, as you attended a BS yourself, you know what to look for. </p>
<p>I recommend you make time on your visit to hang out in schools’ dining halls. Most interview and tours are scheduled in the mornings, while students are tucked away in classrooms. Making time to have lunch in the dining hall, or just sitting at a table observing, is a great way to observe how students interact.</p>
<p>Perhaps consider Quaker/Friends school like Westtown or George School. Those schools have LONG valued diversity…before it became an ‘it’ thing to do. Therefore, even if many of the initial african american students came in via special programs, many of the current african american students may well be there as legacy students and likely from middle and upper middle class backgrounds. Westtown also is relatively small and the class sizes are small. There are earthy/granola type schools that have sports, arts and solid academics…but are more low key and tend to attract people who are not interested in status for the sake of status.
T</p>
<p>I have been utilizing CC for about six months to obtain practical information during our quest for BS admission. Your post prompted me to join so I could respond. We share similar socioeconomic and educational backgrounds except I attended an elite day school that wasn’t in the south and was 90% white. The black kids who attended were smart, barrier breakers. Since most of us came from parochial schools, our parents were used to paying tuition since financial aid didn’t exist at the school.</p>
<p>In 9th grade, we sat together at lunch because 1) we came from the same neighborhoods (segregated), 2) we attended the same churches, hairdressers, 3) we were not invited to sit elsewhere and others did not want to sit with us. By 12th grade, we were so intermingled that if you were to look at a pep rally photo taken then, it would look the same as any photo taken today at any diverse school (of course, the hairstyles are much different!).</p>
<p>I say this because it is disconcerting to hear 21st century comments about how all the Black, Asian, Eskimo, Martian kids sit together at lunch. As any sociologist/behaviorist will tell you, common similarities bond people together, regardless of the ethnic group, whether it’s physical, intellectual, activities, personalities or any other descriptive adjective that bonds. We would all like kumbaya moments and we are the world experiences but, unfortunately, that isn’t the way of the heart and the world, period. And, no, I am not a cynic.</p>
<p>My point is that students will either gravitate towards what is similar up to a point and others will fully engulf themselves in the discovery of others. I prefer the latter but have no problem with the former. Much of this comes from upbringing and environments. It is not my child’s job to teach social behavior but to learn from it and contribute and share in his/her own indomitable way his joys of life.</p>
<p>Every single boarding school we looked at has a minority recruiter, and I would encourage you to speak with her/him. I shared your similar concerns and was candid with the minority recruiters in conversation. They were an absolute wealth of information! One recruiter even told us the locations of the ethnic barber/hairdresser. While this information may seen trivial to many, it was invaluable to us and provided a gentle sense of unspoken relief to my child. </p>
<p>While academia is the main focus, there are other activities of daily living that have to be addressed to make the BS experience overall comfortable no matter your ethnic group. I speak candidly because there are needs that are not universally shared. It is what it is.</p>
<p>I apologize for such a lengthy post but felt compelled to share my thoughts. On another note, if posters would not assume that every minority candidate comes through ABC, it would go a long way towards helping to break that stereotypical assumption (and many times erroneous). While ABC and other minority recruitment agencies are definitely worthwhile groups, and I wholeheartedly applaud and support them, they do not represent every black/minority student that applies to BS.</p>
<p>Dunsterhall, if you like, send me a private message and I will share my experiences.</p>
<p>Stillinschool, Thanks so much for your response. I get the sense that it will take close scrutiny to figure this out.<br>
Best regards,
Dunsterhall</p>
<p>Timber 1 - Thanks so much for joining CC today. I joined yesterday! Just as soon as i figure out how to send a private message, i will do so because you clearly understand the issue that I am facing. Thanks!
Dunsterhall</p>
<p>I just sent you a private message.</p>
<p>It depends upon the school. My D applied to several schools that were disappointed that she wasn’t culturally deprived. One of her school mates was told that he was too middle class for one of the CA boarding schools. There are other schools where your experience in the eighties do not occur. You have to just look. Also consider some of the US international boarding schools,like Verde Valley in AZ. They love diversity and black kids are just “another flower in the bouquet”.</p>
<p>My D attends the Hill School and from what I can tell, there is quite a mix of students, both socioeconomically and racially. She is white but her best friend is black and from NJ. Another close friend is Asian-American, although she is also friends with Asians who have come to the US for BS. </p>
<p>Seated meals have assigned seats, so students don’t get a chance to sit in any kind of segregated groups. But I echo what someone says above, that this generation doesn’t always think about race, but that is easy to say when you are in the majority, I realize.</p>
<p>Hill does give out a lot of financial aid, but from what I can tell, it cuts across all lines. I see kids of all income levels and all races there. I agree that a tour of schools is your best bet.</p>
<p>I have PM’d you!</p>
<p>I am the mother of an African-American son, which (in my opinion) presents a completely unique set of considerations. We are from the SE (currently residing in Atlanta), and boarding schools were never a strong consideration, based on our lack of knowledge about the concept and the opportunities/resources they provide. After attending a local ABC sponsored diversity fair, we just stopped and spoke with parents and representatives from each school and were absolutely astonished at the positive things we heard from the boarding community! </p>
<p>After visiting a number of schools, both day and boarding, we limited our selections to the top four that caught our interest…which included Andover, Hotchkiss, Taft and Choate. Of the four, I would say that Andover and Choate presented the best display of ‘comfort’. We are a relatively liberal family and wanted our son to be comfortable, in an atmosphere that truly fostered an appreciation for diversity – from the administration on down. After visiting all four campuses, Choate and Andover were tied, but we chose Choate due to its’ more liberal, laid-back and close-knit community feel as opposed to Andover’s size and their ‘sink or swim’ culture. </p>
<p>The kids at both campuses appeared very comfortable, during my observations – both in class and in social settings. However, the administration at Andover seemed to be more consumed with the kids stellar reputations (top 1% of his class) as opposed to who the child really was – which was a bit disheartening.</p>
<p>At Choate, the community fully embraced our family and my son! The administrators that I have spoken with for months greeted me with a hug, vs a handshake and with my son only having reported a week ago, I already feel as though this group has become an extended family vs. a school of ‘great staff and students’. One disclaimer…my son is an scholar athlete, so that nuance does allow him to ‘acclimate’ a bit easier, as they are typically welcomed into a particular group from the start. However, I met a few parents who mentioned that their kids attended the international forums for new students, and that by the second night, they were all asking to go to the movies together. Such a testament to their culture!</p>
<p>I was impressed with Choate during the application process and during my son’s 5 week summer program. However, when I visited, just this past weekend, for registration/parent orientation, I departed with only one regret…not looking into Choate sooner (my son is a repeat Sophomore). I am absolutely enamored by everyone there, from the administrators to the coaches and dorm advisors. Everyone knew about my son (his strengths and his weeknesses) and a comprehensive ‘plan for success’ was crafted before I ever arrived. Not trying to make a ‘sale’ but certainly wanted to offer this perspective for you to look into during your visits this year. Hope this helps!</p>
<p>And remember…there is no greater joy than to have someone ELSE advocating for your child at all times and I certainly feel that Choate offers this AND MORE! Best of luck in your search and feel free to PM me if desired.</p>
<p>@atlantabsmom…Did you get a sense of what the community is like amongst the black students at the schools you visited? Were the kids close to and supportive of one another? Did they have a ‘bond’ while still feeling free to socialize with other students as well? Were there things like african cultures clubs or african american history courses and if so how were those received?
Finding schools where minorities support one another and are supported by the school, while not being ‘expected’ to only hang out within your race is often a hard balance to find. Curious as to whether you saw that at schools.
Also, curious as to whether most blacks at the schools you looked at were athletes…meaning was that the umbrella most came in under?
Thanks in advance for sharing!
T</p>
<p>Atlantabsmom- so glad to hear that you are experiencing the caring culture at Choate, because that was our (non minority) experience there as well. When my kids were there, there was a wide range of ethnicities, and within those groups, there seemed to be a wide range of socioeconomic statuses represented! The summer program also seems to be a great way to ease into the school and the big increase in workload that all entering students are sure to experience. I’ve heard that most of the summer school teachers are regular faculty members and not visiting teachers, so your child has probably already made some important connections!</p>
<p>Like Sevendad on another thread, I’m a little cautious about always being a cheerleader for my kids’ school (Choate), there are plenty of other great schools out there, and different people have different memories and experiences, but the farther away we get from it the more appreciative we are.</p>