<p>Explain WHAT to you? There are lots of people out there who won't take being treated like ****, or want sugar daddies. I'm one of them. What exactly would you like explained? >.<.</p>
<p>Why are there SO many girls that seem to fall into those two categories. Of course EVERY girl isn't like I mentioned above, but many people cannot disagree that their are ALOT of girls that fall into above mentioned categories. </p>
<p>Why do girls take being treated like **** when there are ALOT of guys that would treat them with love and respect?</p>
<p>The money one I get, because hey, its money. But why does this behavior seem so prevalent?</p>
<p>And why do girls say they want XYZ in a guy, but always go for ABC in a guy?</p>
<p>Um, I don't know. I really don't know. I don't understand that kind of stuff. I just wanted to say that girls who don't fall into those categories are not rare anomalies.</p>
<p>OK ill give you that, they aren't rare anomalies, the thing I guess that disturbs me the most is that they aren't as prevalent as I had hoped for.</p>
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But if you don't make enough money, you WILL get a guy to support you? Nice mentality.
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<p>Let me counter that. If I was a doctor, a lawyer, or a professor (let's say I have a degree higher than a bachelor's) would you not have $$$ on your mind if you only had a bachelor's degree in let's say...history and you were a history teacher? Come on... We all know that a doctor makes a heck of a lot more money than a high school teacher. </p>
<p>Try again if you wish, but you will do nothing but fail.</p>
<p>And no, I wouldn't get a guy to support me. I'm pretty independent and I'm extremely stubborn about that.</p>
<p>^Just the type I'd wanna marry. If a girl wants you to do everything for her, you know something's wrong, and this applies vice versa too (As in a guy depending alot on a girl).</p>
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Why are there SO many girls that seem to fall into those two categories. Of course EVERY girl isn't like I mentioned above, but many people cannot disagree that their are ALOT of girls that fall into above mentioned categories. </p>
<p>Why do girls take being treated like **** when there are ALOT of guys that would treat them with love and respect?</p>
<p>The money one I get, because hey, its money. But why does this behavior seem so prevalent?</p>
<p>And why do girls say they want XYZ in a guy, but always go for ABC in a guy?
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<p>K'san: You seem really bitter. Other people here have spelled out some pretty good reasons why you shouldn't be bitter -- or at least how there are exceptions to your observations -- but you aren't really go to listen to what people say. Admit it: you won't be convinced. As such, there's really no reason to talk to you about this stuff. Nonetheless, here goes: I am about to waste a bunch of time. </p>
<p>And for the record: I really don't care what your response is; based on what I've seen so far, you don't listen to people anyway. You think what you think and what others think you think is wrong. By the way, why do you even bother to post here?</p>
<p>I think your choice is pretty obvious. Stick with your cynicism and how you do things and stay bitter. Or figure out how to connect with someone who is exceptional (for you) and who has the attributes that you find attractive. </p>
<p>If it were as simple as I see a girl and she's really attractive to me and she wants to be treated with love and respect and I can give that to her, you'd be with the perfect woman by now.</p>
<p>Guys always decry the fact that women like ****<strong><em>s. But a counterpart truth is that a lot of time the fact is that men like *</em></strong>*es. Have you ever had a really nice girl throw herself at you, but you just weren't interested? If you haven't, I'd wager you haven't noticed it was happening or you are not attractive to girls. </p>
<p>Guys tend to like <strong><em>es because there is a high correlation between being *</em></strong><em>y and being good looking. And other times, it's *</em>*es, good-looking or not, who are more interesting, more challenging, and just seem more attractive to guys.</p>
<p>For the girl that's really nice and somewhat attractive who throws herself at you, but it's kind of a turn-off for you -- do you think that seems fair to her that you are more attracted to the vapid *****y girl that only talks about herself and knows only that she's hot and not a whole lot more?</p>
<p>Do you think that women find guys to be straightforward? Do you know how many guys say XYZ and do ABC? There are all sorts of reasons why people do this, and it runs the range from that they are absolute liars (and I am sure this happens a lot less than the other things) to the fact that they are absolutely unaware of themselves and don't recognize the contradictions to the fact that in a given situation with no malice aforethought they'll tell you what they think you want to hear. Duh!</p>
<p>There is no written or spoken contract. You can't really know what a person is really about or what they really want until you really know them and have looked at what they do as opposed to what they say. That's a basic life lesson, my friend. Friggin' learn it, or live your life as a dupe.</p>
<p>There may be a lot of girls who fall into categories you don't like. Maybe that means you have rarified tastes. Reading your posts, I'd say it's more likely you are bitter about what you can't have. There may have been a girl -- or some girls -- who seemed like they'd be ones you'd really like to date and they said they were a certain way and you thought that meant they'd like you. But they didn't. Again: duh! Join the real world.</p>
<p>You need to work on yourself. First of all, get over this bitterness that the world isn't the way that mommy promised you it would be. Yes, there are tons of women driven by money. True indeed. </p>
<p>Ask yourself if there is a correlation between the good looks of women and their relative money focus. Could it be that these women get attention from all sorts of guys and it turns out that the ones that are most fun drive the best cars or have a devil-may-care attitude 'cause their daddies are rich?</p>
<p>The fact is that really good looking girls experience life differently than girls that are merely attractive or ones that aren't so good looking. And you often have to have more for really good looking girls -- whether it's confidence or money or standing in your school/community or all the above and more, you've got to bring more to the table. As I said before, I actually don't think money is the highest thing on this list, by the way.</p>
<p>And a lot of times this kind of beauty can change women, and they may become people who act in ways you don't like. If you want this kind of woman, you are going to have to play the game -- being a big powerful, fun confident guy with a lot of fame (and maybe a lot of money). The question is: do you want this kind of woman? If so, is this kind of woman currently out of your league? Be honest. My guess is yes. And if you don't want this kind of woman, look for other kinds and find out what characteristics they have and recognize that there are trade-offs.</p>
<p>I lived in a foreign country for awhile (I won't say which one because I don't want to offend anyone from that country). I spoke the language, and because I was an American earning dollars from an American company, on the scale of things I was pretty rich. And it turned out that a lot of women were interested in meeting me. For me, this turned into a giant lab experiment about what I was attracted to, since I wasn't constrained by as many limitations regarding my relative wealth or even confidence as I would have been in my own economy and culture. </p>
<p>There were some absolutely gorgeous women I met, but often around the edges I thought they were out for my green card or my money or both. And there were less attractive ones that seemed really genuine and didn't have that *****y "I know I am hot and if you want me you are going to have to work or pay" high maintenance force field around them. And I realized that in general I like the down-to-earth, somewhat less attractive pretty girls to girls whose worlds had been warped by the attention good looks got them.</p>
<p>There was one absolute blistering model type that I had a physical fling with, and I'll confess that I sometimes think about our "flagrante delicto," but she was always looking for the next mirror and she was ultimately just a bimbo. It didn't wear well over time; ultimately she was boring. Not to mention the fact that if I married her and brought her home my friends and family would've probably thought "wow, BH found himself a really beautiful decoration that has nothing in common with any of us."</p>
<p>Again: figure out what you want, and recognize that almost always except in the rarest of circumstances, there will be trade-offs.</p>
<p>I did find a woman I thought was the whole package. Gorgeous, well-educated (Berkeley and Harvard in an interesting field), etc. And she is still a good friend after we went out for 4 years. Why was this really attractive, polished, charming woman available when she should have already been "off the market"? It turns out she was damaged goods, personally speaking -- she had personal issues that she ignored rather than seeking help with them -- and these turned out to be too much for us. Like I said, there are trade-offs.</p>
<p>Number two: You need to work your game. People always tell you to be yourself. That's only partly right. What they're really telling you is you need to learn to like yourself and be confident in who you are. BECAUSE WOMEN RESPOND BEST TO CONFIDENCE.</p>
<p>But once you've got yourself settled with who you are and are really confident, a good game will help you with the ladies.</p>
<p>For that, you've just got to figure out a few principles and learn how to make them work for you:</p>
<p>1) Women like men who are attractive to other women.
2) Women like men who are confident and who don't ask for permission. (American guys often think "wow, I do everything she wants me to do, why doesn't she like me?" This is often what guys are talking about when they say love and respect. But the fact is women want guys to do what the guys want to do, so long as the guys are cool and expansive and fun and involve the women in their big adventure and make some things shared. Let me give you an example: A date: What do you think makes a bigger impression on a woman: "Where would you like to go -- would that French restaurant be okay?" vs. "There's this place I've been before -- it has good food and a really good vibe -- and I really thought it'd be a place you'd like. I want to go there with you." The latter shows you are in the know and you've thought about her, but you are also asserting yourself. The former is just, well, lame -- even though it may seem respectful.)
3) Women like men who have stuff goin' on and who don't depend on women for their lives.
4) And within the context of what I said above, you will find women appreciate guys who respect and love them, but be very clear that respect and love doesn't mean you always ask for permission or dote on them too much or completely squelch the sense that you are attractive to other women (you don't have to act on it). Follow numbers 1-3 religiously before you work in number 4. Numbers 1-3 explain why women like *******s, to a great extent. Number 4 shows that you can put a good thing in an overall package.</p>
<p>Now, K'san: there may be things that I said about you that just don't jibe with your situation. Fine, overlook the mistakes -- but I advise you to not throw the baby out with the bath water. There is a lot you can learn from what I wrote.</p>
<p>Right now, you are a bitter guy well on his way to loserville, if you don't take a clue and change your headset. Good luck.</p>
<p>^^^Thank You VERY MUCH. Your post is something I feel every guy should read.(I'm not being sarcastic) I am someone that can change my mind but I pay attention to detail and explanation or I find too many loopholes in an idea and I don't feel its legitimate. Your post explains what I have seen in my life but never really been able to put into words.</p>
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<p>I admittedly am VERY bad at telling when a girl likes me. There have been instances where girls have been very nice and only months later when I'm told they had a crush on me, I'm like W T F? I thought she was just being nice. I don't think I'm ugly and no girl has ever said I am. I am usually placed in the average-above average range. I have been told I'm kinda handsome. But who knows I could be ugly. :p I asked a girl that happens to be my best friend and she says I have a friendly face. Whatever you take that to mean.</p>
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<p>True, shoulda realized this.</p>
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<p>This is exactly how I act. I always thought asking for the girls input and asking where she wants to go is better, I thought if I did it the more straightforward way they would be like "why is he trying to tell me what to do and why is he being so assertive" My best friend thats a girl says I am too nice and I need to be a little more assertive, but I can't help it, thats how I was raised.</p>
<p>Being nice never seemed to be what girls liked so its only recently in high school where acting like an ******* seemed to yield better results, but I HATE acting that way. </p>
<p>I will try putting into action what you said. I admit I am a little bitter, but still a nice guy. :)</p>
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I am usually placed in the average-above average range. I have been told I'm kinda handsome. But who knows I could be ugly.
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<p>It's nice you are self-deprecating, but if you are told you are kinda handsome, you are more than handsome enough to work it with the ladies. 'Cause the fact is women aren't as visual, but are more interested in what <em>experience</em> a guy gives them. Average - above average tending to kinda handsome gets you in the door, your personality is what keeps you inside and moving toward the "happy room." For that matter, ugly guys with the right personality get in the door. So stop worrying about looks. OH, except for one big thing: dress yourself up (not necessarily fancy, just take care of yourself; work on your image, cool things up a bit, spiff your hair, all in a natural way that fits with you.)</p>
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I admittedly am VERY bad at telling when a girl likes me. There have been instances where girls have been very nice and only months later when I'm told they had a crush on me, I'm like W T F? I thought she was just being nice. I don't think I'm ugly and no girl has ever said I am.
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<p>I wasn't talking about ugly, I was talking about unattractive (and this has a lot more to do with personality like I said). But your problem -- i.e. that you don't know when a girl is in to you -- is the better one to have. Without having it make you a total pr*ck, you need to operate with the assumption that most, if not all, ladies like you. And you need to take this attitude into flirting with girls wherever you meet them -- in shops, on the street, anywhere, whether at school or not. Do this with discipline; do it like it's homework. Do it like you're trying to earn a varsity letter in it, though you're just learning how to handle the ball. Just getting a girl to smile back at you (even if 10 have been cold) is a win and will take you further toward the confidence you need. And as you do this more in a way that fits with who you are -- try a number of different approaches -- you will move into a virtuous circle of success with women.</p>
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This is exactly how I act. I always thought asking for the girls input and asking where she wants to go is better, I thought if I did it the more straightforward way they would be like "why is he trying to tell me what to do and why is he being so assertive" My best friend thats a girl says I am too nice and I need to be a little more assertive, but I can't help it, thats how I was raised.
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<p>How you were raised was a good way to be raised -- it defaults to being more respectful than not and that is generally a good thing and better at least than the alternative. It sucks, however, for what you want to communicate to a girl you are interested in.</p>
<p>Everything about the example I gave shows something important. Asking for permission to go to the French restaurant cedes control and judgement to the woman and ultimately makes it seem very subtely that you think she is doing you a favor by going out with you (on some level). A woman wants a guy who has it going on -- the other option says: "I know the restaurants, I am a man who's got it going on -- and you are lucky to be with me" on some level very subtely; in other words, you are in control and you have the judgement (and women like that). But it also says "and with this ever so cool hip thing I got going, the thing that is me, I am putting it to the service of making you happy because I think I know what it is you want and I want to please you." The thing is you have to have a view of what she wants and likes and act accordingly. So you need to develop your intuition and your ability to figure women out, to the extent that is possible. But don't pander them in obvious ways or let them push you around or they will be turned off.</p>
<p>One is a position of asking for permission and she's doing you a favor -- how dull for everyone. The other is: I am magical and I am being magical for you.</p>
<p>Okay, maybe I overstated it, but you get the point. </p>
<p>Now, what if she said in response to your offer: "I've been to that restaurant and I thought it was cheesy." Your response could be an easygoing: "Wow, are we talking about the same place? Did you find a fly in your drink or something? Did a waiter diss you?" Just make it light, don't get embarrassed and move on to keeping it in your court: "Look, I'd be happy to just to get a burger and fries with you, but there's another place that I've had some luck with....blah blah blah." The thing is you keep making the decisions and you keep making it special, but don't be a rigid jerk who doesn't let her have some input. That too can be a turn-off if it's taken too far.</p>
<p>If you work this stuff, you will have no reason to be bitter.</p>
<p>In the meanwhile, lose the bitterness even if you have to do so just for show. It comes off merely as sour grapes, and it says to a woman: "I don't have luck with the ladies and that's why I am mad." Look at number 1 in my list on the post above. That's a huge turn-off.</p>
<p>How did this topic go from dogs back to women? I liked where it was going....cats are less loyal than dogs but I don't like how a dog chased me yesterday.</p>
<p>Anyway, like I said, the best woman will be a clone of yourself with your memories and the opposite chromosones. Unless you can't stand yourself already.</p>
<p>personally, i think i prefer being submissive to a woman. to enslave my thoughts to her. to suffer bravely for her happiness. the heroic battle against evil, against injustice...and a dream for paradise, of heaven, of God's greatness, angels, cherubs, dazzling clouds, hobbits, of sexless woman , who is unattainable, barely on the edge of my perception, ever receding and ever present. i could see her with her, her small stature, her dark hair and eyes so stark in lightness. i shalt go mad and recoil in terror if she approaches me, but i shalt be happy and content if she is so far away...</p>
<p>but of course, there's a part of me that tells me to assert myself, my dignity and pride. to love myself, to immortalize myself with ultimate example of bravery, fortitude, self cotnroul..my hand itching for the flaming swor dof justice. to carry on the banner of the cross and fight until the last breath...this is romance, boys.</p>
<p>You should become a poet. Meanwhile I might consider purchasing the Nine Princes in Amber so that the knowledge of that writing style may be soaked into my being.</p>
<p>But yes, and ideal women in true romance is being in love with a pryro-kinetic and pyro-genitive woman who can meld with the shadows, fly using wings that flame with fire, and possesses the abillity to command a flaming sword to cut through any object. It is rather like the sort of thing that occurs in the three musketeers, but dramatized with the addition of a woman who can the most volatile of the elements: fire. This opens up all sorts of new possibillities not acceptable in normal, reality-based fiction.</p>
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<p>Toooo much love for fire pokemon, charizard. Its even in your women now. Tsk Tsk Tsk.</p>
<p>Whoa I never made that connection! By golly you're right!</p>
<p>asia argento loves money. haha. get it? argento is silver or money. haha</p>
<p>by the way, asia argento is pretty cool looking. she looks like a fashion model. never had any idea she was italian!!</p>
<p>ok seriously, i would rather have a filthy rich lawyer husband who doesnt care about me than a deadbeat drunk who never gets off the couch but thinks i'm the best thing since sliced bread. ok? that's the two extremes, but if i had to take my pick, i want the lawyer.</p>
<p>^ohhh!!!!! how loathesome!! the worst husband: a rich lawyer that demands sex every night.</p>
<p>me, i imagine being the ultimate romantic hero. suffering, bleeding, starving out of compassion for the dying in afghanistan or canary islands... rejected, ignored, beaten, spat at... always dreaming and always a wretched fellow...</p>
<p>TENEBRAE MAGNUS EST</p>
<p>Kind of like in those weird romance novels eh?</p>
<p>Is this asia argento more than a pg actor? I googled images and got some stuff. Moving on...</p>
<p>Being a romantic hero is cool because you get a lot of fame and pity from fawning girls; the problem is that once you get beat up enough times it becomes pathetic and not just tragic. (Your admirers also become apathetic.) So you have to keep esclating the trageties until you vanish for a period, (to milk the drama out more) and then die tragically. but then once you're dead the drama is over and you can't be the romantic hero anymore. Being a romantic hero is only enjoyable if you don't want to live forever. </p>
<p>How could anyone be in love with a girl who uses the ice or water element? There would be no passion, and all she could do is wash and rinse you. There would be no sense of danger, and she'd be a useless damsel in a fight. In fact, I think you'd have to protect her, but with a pyro-genitive woman, you could just leave her to do all the fighting for you. In fact, you could make her your right-hand 'man' and send her off on missions to destroy your enemies and bring you sweet vengenece!</p>
<p>Anyway it gets to imagine being the hero all the time. After a while, you'd rather have someone else do all the work saving and protecting people while watching the fireworks.</p>
<p>hey, honesty's the best policy. i don't ONLY want money, but in the end, I dont want to be living on the streets.</p>