<p>Olymom: Hello! Thank you for taking your time to reply!
I do 1-3, because my parents are at work during the week.
However, I understand that they must have a lot going on and I should take that into consideration.</p>
<p>@GLOBAL TRAVELER: Thank you for sharing your personal story! It’s nice to hear about the hardships others have faced in college and how they overcame them! I guess I need to think more about how the college benefits me and my family rather than only thinking about ivies!</p>
<p>I just read your original post, MathGuy777, and wanted to remark that it is much better for the student to apply for the internship, and not the parents. Most people hiring interns would regard it as a warning sign if they were contacted by the parents–it suggests helicopter parenting at its worst.</p>
<p>I realize that there are some cases where the parents pull strings to arrange for an internship for their son/daughter. However, I think this is more common for non-academic internships; it is relatively rare for academic ones.</p>
<p>Actually, I am surprised that the professor you mentioned wanted to meet with your parents.</p>
<p>Just wanted to add: I started out very shy. So did many of the people that I know in the physical sciences, and especially in mathematics. At some point, your drive for the things you need–assistantship, fellowship, post-doc, permanent position–will overcome your shyness, and you will be able to cope. But practice now doesn’t hurt.</p>
<p>I am so sorry that you do not feel supported by your parents. As many others have suggested, perhaps they see you as more competent than your sister.</p>
<p>I am very impressed with your reaching out and how well you articulate. My guess is that you will be able to get the support or at least good advice from the many knowledgable folks on CC.</p>
<p>Perhaps there is someone in your community or at your school that attended Yale that you could meet with to discuss the school and request some guidance from. You could always post the question on CC and ask if anyone lives in your area and might be willing to meet with you.</p>
<p>Have you considered Rice University in Texas as an Ivy alternative. They have the same living/college system as Yale does and I think it is a very math oriented school.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>@QuantMech: Hi! Sorry for the late reply! Thanks for the advice 
I do understand that social skills are very important in science and math (as well as pretty much everything else in life) and I guess I just need to work on that. I realize that I should improve myself before I try to even expect others to improve. It’s great to know that you have some experience in this type of a situation, so I wanted to thank you for sharing it with me :)</p>
<p>@peacefulmom: Thank you! My sister has already gone to college, so maybe that’s why they treat her better. Or she’s much -nicer- and less arrogant than me. Thank you for your kindness, although I guess it was because I’m just really desperate to go to Yale
I apologize if I sounded obnoxious from my original post; it’s just that I’ve never been more stressed before. I just feel like there’s no point of doing well in school if my family does not care. But, good education leads to a better future, and I don’t want to go to my community college (not that there’s anything wrong with community colleges-I just think I can work harder, and money won’t be a problem for college, I guess).</p>
<p>I know one person that will be attending Yale this fall as a freshman but he hasn’t responded. I have a great feeling nobody on College Confidential lives in my area; it’s somewhat competitive, but not to the level of New Jersey or Massachusetts.
.
I’ve heard many great reviews about Rice University, and it’s like the “southern Harvard”!
I will most likely pursue a major in a biology field (preferable biomedical research/engineering) but I think it would be a good school to consider. However, if I can, I would do anything for Yale, not because of it’s prestige or anything, but the education I could receive, the many friendships I could make, and much, much more. </p>
<p>Once again, thank you!</p>
<p>OP–</p>
<p>There is no reason for you not to aim for Yale…it is always good to aim high! Just understand that only about 5 of every 100 applicants get in…and at least 99 of the 100 are well qualified, and that of the lucky 5, many of them possess something special that Yale wants, whether it is scientific ability, or musical ability, or debate ability, or athletic ability, or large amounts of money in donations…</p>
<p>So please realize that Yale is a lottery…definitely apply there, but don’t plan your life around getting in. You can, however, try to do things to make yourself a more attractive candidate. Assuming you already have the grades and scores to be a qualified candidate, do what you can to make yourself stand out from the pack by participating in meaningful activities outside of school…do something that makes a difference, and commit yourself to it totally.</p>
<p>But while you are grooming yourself to apply to Yale, you will be making yourself attractive to a wide range of excellent schools.</p>
<p>Start investigating all kinds of schools–maybe, in addition to Rice, consider Emory, Vanderbilt, Tufts, Brandeis?</p>
<p>Have a serious talk about $$ with your family. When they say they can pay, ask them specifically what amount they have in mind that is affordable to them. That will help you focus on excellent schools that you can afford to go to…it does no good to get in to a school that you cannot afford to attend. The cost of attendance has sky rocketed the past few years (even since your sister attended) and that could be a shock to your parents. If $$ for your college is a problem for your parents, you can focus your search on excellent schools known for good merit aid and financial aid.</p>
<p>@boysx3: Thank you for your advice, too! I have been considering other colleges (Stanford, MIT, Florida State University, U of Chicago) and I’m trying my best to make myself look good towards Yale! Is the acceptance rate really 5%?? It’s much lower than I though (~8-9%) which is still low…</p>
<p>Yeah, they haven’t told me how much they can afford to pay, although they always get stressed when I bring up the subject (since they’re trying to pay for my older sister’s college cost and her car and whatever). They just told me that I should get a scholarship or financial aid. But that was about it… It’s just so weird that they gave up so much for my sister’s scholarship stuff, but she’s not even doing too well in college (not that I could do better than her, but she at least has support). What upsets me most is that my sister has a job and has $$$$$$$$, but doesn’t even give any money to my dad (who worked so hard for her to get an education at the decent nearby state school). And she’s living at our house still, and complains to me about studying too much and stuff like that. She kept on making fun of me when I got my first B in middle school (I was partially dumb, and I stupidly took the hardest classes possible). I don’t think this is an excuse, but I was under tremendous stress that time due to family arguments, classwork, etc. </p>
<p>I decided to apply for a job soon, because I don’t even want to mention $$ to my parents or they’ll get really annoyed. But I don’t know. I did ask once, and they said they’re doing pretty well. I should follow your advice and be a little more specific… But I’m almost certain they can help pay for my college if I get into a good one.</p>
<p>Given your parents’ reluctance to discuss college costs, it is likely that they have far less to contribute than what financial aid will assume that they can (perhaps they spent it all on your sister?). This means that you need to find some safety schools that are very inexpensive in net cost after merit scholarships. Perhaps some of the schools listed here:</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1348012-automatic-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1348012-automatic-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships.html</a></p>
<p>as well as any scholarship opportunities for in-state students at your in-state public universities could be candidates, if your stats are high enough.</p>
<p>@UCBalumnus: Thank you for the link and kind advice! I think it will be very helpful, regardless of the outcome of my discussion with my parents.
They were talking about financial struggles in refinancing, I think, but I’m not really sure what it means.</p>
<p>I’m probably sounding really arrogant here, but I feel like I can get a full ride at my nearby college safety, because of legacy + school’s acceptance rate + comparing with my sister.
Getting a 2200+ on the SAT is probably a full ride to this college.</p>
<p>" 3. To the parents, what encouraged you to go on CC forums?"</p>
<p>My husband thought my daughter should practice for the SAT, and maybe take it more than once,and we thought he was CRAZY!</p>
<p>My observation is this; Either parents OR kids come; not both.</p>
<p>Either you are the parent of a kid who is not that “into it”, or a kid with a parent that is not that “into it”, and probably doesn’t need to be</p>
<p>And then there are parents who not need to be “into it”, because the.ir kids are past it…we’re here for you!.</p>
<p>Haha yeah, my main reason was to practice for the SAT, also! Thank you! I’ll make sure to get guidance from the parents in the parent forum :)</p>
<p>OP, if you don’t mind me asking, where did your parents go to college and what kind of work to they do?</p>
<p>As for treating you and your older sister differently, it could be because of your different personalities leading to different perceived parenting needs. Yes, that’s the pC and warm and fuzzy answer. However, often it’s because with the first kids, we parents are dealing with events for the first time, we r scared, don’t want to make a mistake, might be more involved or more strict, or more whatever…the reality is that when the younger one goes thru it, we have been there so we start relaxing more which leads to much different dynamics and results. Meanwhile the second child is still experiencing it for the first time. Additionally, it could be a gender issue as people, including parents, may have gender stereotypes embedded in their subconscious.</p>
<p>Lastly, have you considered that they are not helping you with any of this because they want you to stay near them for college? Did ur sister stay nearby? Although some people think that stereotypical Asian parents want their kid to attend HYP, another very stereotypical Asian parent’s desire is that the kid lives at home during college and that college is very cheap. My Asian parents wanted my to live at home and attend SAn Jose state University and were not super excited about me going away to UCLA.</p>
<p>Shrink wrap, your post cracked me up!!</p>
<p>My dad graduated from Florida State University and my mom got a Bachelor’s degree in physics from an asian college. I see what you mean, though. Haha but no, they said they want me as far away from them as possible in college… But thank you for your opinion and advice!</p>
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<p>Unless (a) they actually offer a full ride scholarship, and (b) it is assured for your grades and test scores, don’t assume that you will get such a thing. (If (a) but not (b) is true, then you can consider it a possibility, but not assured until they tell you that you got it.)</p>
<p>" Shrink wrap, your post cracked me up!!</p>
<p>I’ll be here all year!</p>
<p>Math guy, it sounds like you are a FL resident. If so, why not apply to the FL Young Scholars summer program at FL State? It’s a free summer program. It offers classes, labs, and lots of social activities.</p>
<p>OP: Maybe your parents are not giving you advice or help on applying to Yale because they themselves not sure what to do? On the other hand, if you wanted them to apply to your internship for you (?), maybe they are trying to teach you to take the lead. You can always consider hiring a college consultant who gives you the info you need, helps to package you, makes sure that your essays are done etc. You can also buy books: A is for Admission by Michele Hernandez, Acing the College Application, The New Rules of College Admissions: Ten Former Admissions Officers Reveal What it Takes to Get Into College Today (Fireside Books (Fireside)) by Michael London were good books</p>
<p>I apologize for the late reply. I am in a better relationship with my parents and sorted everything out.
Thanks also to the people who I did not say thanks to (ucbalumnus,bookworm,YoHoYoHo, etc.). You guys gave really good advice and I’ll surely look into it.</p>
<p>“Just understand that only about 5 of every 100 applicants get in…and at least 99 of the 100 are well qualified,” - Exactly. </p>
<p>OP - Start doing some homework on financial aid, getting financial info from parents if they are willing. Perhaps during the years with 2 in college there will be good FA. It’s worth investigating - that might make your parents less stressed.</p>