Am I Taking A Rigorous Enough Courseload?

First off, my mother died when I was 3 from a drug-overdose, and my dad abandoned me and has stayed out of my life ever since. I've at times felt like my mother didn't love me, because if she did, she wouldn't have had to use drugs. I know this is irrational. As for my father, I've yelled at him to my grandma, but I've always felt hurt, unloved, and forgotten by him. I've suffered from Bipolar I with rapid cycling since the end of 1st grade. My next two teachers picked on me because their fathers were Bipolar, and the kids constantly bullied me and got me in trouble (they lied and said I did things I didn't do). In 6th grade, because of these same kids, I was constantly skipping school so much that I wasn't in school for most of the year. I didn't do my homework, I fought, and really just didn't care about my future; it looked bleak and miserable. In the beginning of 7th grade, I dropped out. I signed up for FLVS (Florida Virtual School), but I hated it so much that I didn't use it at all. In this year, I began being psychosexually abused up until 9th grade. I became so concerned with pleasing this man that I stopped caring about my future even more, so I just waited all day to talk with him. When I told him I hurt my dog, whom I love very much and had to put down because he got too old, he called me a crazy bitch. He'd call me a fat cow (which I'm not), ugly (not ugly either), etc. etc., but all I cared about was pleasing him. So by 9th grade after I had gotten rid of this man, I didn't have too many courses because I still didn't care about my future; I thought I was unlovable, that nobody would ever care about me, and that people--men, children, women, were all evil and should be killed off. 
 I hope you understand, I don't really care for people my own age. I usually talk to middle-aged women, as men scare me somewhat, instead of teenagers. They annoy me greatly because I invite my "friends" to my house, and all they do is text while THEY ARE WITH ME. I love Broadway, opera, reading, writing, studying, and learning, but I've never found people with my interests before who are not so into themselves that they take selfies constantly and what not.
 In 9th grade, I began taking singing lessons, and I began to heal. I want to cry every time I think about how music has changed my life: I improved so rapidly! I went from a 4 note range (C4 - F4) to over an octave (A3) B3 - C#5 (D5) in about the first 11 months. I began to see myself in society as a woman who'd be actively changing society through music and integrating music with education. For the record-- I now know I am a lovable, unique, capable individual, and I feel compassion and empathy for my fellow man and no longer feel like a stranger in paradise (which is a song that whoever is reading this might enjoy).

My experience with education is that it is ridiculously slow. I skipped over 7th and 8th grade and went to high-school level work with no prior experience, the structure in which K-12 courses are taught is inefficient, kids remember very little unless they study on their own, which in that case, they might as well be homeschooled! As such, a good few weeks were spent reviewing material unnecessarily, in addition to spending a few weeks preparing for the FCAT. It takes less time to homeschool. I’m not going to say how I’m going to change education in this post, but I will send a letter to each institution I’ll be applying to to personally tell them what I will be attempting to do if I were to go to their university. It’s too long to be in Common Application.

Freshman:
Algebra I - A
U.S. History I - A
English I - A
Earth Science - A
Singing - A
Gym - A

Sophomore:
Geometry I - A
Ancient History, college-level, Saylor.org (Summer) - A
Early Globalizations (1200 - 1600), college-level, Saylor.org - A
AP Chemistry (Test taken next year) - A
Latin I - A
Spanish (CEFR: A1 ~ A2) - A
Singing - A
Piano (Level 1, 2) A
Introduction to Literary Analysis, college-level, Saylor.org - A
Culture and Literature of the Renaissance, college-level, Saylor.org (Summer) - A

Junior:
Welsh I, Modern -
Religion, Celtic Fey (Daoine Sidhe, Twylth Taureg) -
Spanish (CEFR: B1 ~ B2) -
Latin II (Summer) -
Latin III -
Shakespeare, college-level, Saylor.org -
The American Renaissance (Literature), college-level, Saylor.org -
AP Biology -
AP U.S. History -
Algebra II & AP Statistics (Starting in summer) -
Harmony and Counterpoint -
Singing -
Piano -

Senior:

Welsh II, Modern -
Spanish (CEFR: B2 ~ C1) -
Latin IV
AP English Language and Composition
AP English Literature and Composition
Pre-Calculus (Summer) -
AP Calculus AB and attempting Calculus BC
AP Microeconomics -
Singing -
Piano

Post-Senior year: This year is meant to allow me to become a more-developed woman in society by allowing me to make a difference in my community as an adult that I might otherwise not be able to do until after I’m finished with college. mainly because of volunteering age limits I experience as a minor. I will be continuing my studies, so this is NOT a year for me to slack off, but also has the benefit of allowing me to transition into adulthood, while I have a job, rather than being separated from my only mother, who is my grand-mother, very suddenly with the real possibility of severe anxiety. I do suffer from anxiety and OCD too.

AP Calculus BC if not done in senior year -
AP Macroeconomics -
AP Latin
Spanish (CEFR: C1)
Singing (Broadway, Opera Studies) -
Piano -
AP Physics (Probably 1) -
English Grammar -

Extra-Curriculars:

Language studying: Irish Gaelic (Modern), Welsh (Mabinogi).
Writing
Composing

Volunteering:

NAMI Counselor (Remains to be seen. I keep calling them, but they never answer, ever.)
Tutor
Horse Ranch volunteer
18+, animal shelter volunteer

Are Saylor.org courses, which are college-level but have no teacher and only have 1 graded assessment for the most part, more rigorous than high-school level courses, whether honors or not? I mean, surely rigor is decided by the knowledge you gain and not how many times your teacher asks you to do repetitive assignments. I study using SRS Flashcard systems to more effectively impart knowledge into myself.

Sorry if this is a bit hard to read! I’m extraordinarily anti-social by nature, so I try to get off of forums as quickly as I can, especially if I have to do schoolwork.

I’m not sure if this is bumping. I just wanted to say that I told what happened to me because I feel that I did the best that I could for my studies at the time I did them, and I feel that you’d need to know why I did the things I did, including why I don’t have ECs with lots of people in order to judge what would constitute a ‘rigorous’ course load. I’m not asking you to rate my chances of getting into UPenn; I’d rather guess. But, I do sit in my room and worry about my future. “I’m not going to go anywhere in life, I’ll never accomplish the things I want to, no college will accept me” and more are my intrusive thoughts that are really annoying every now and then. I understand that they’re irrational, but the only way to get rid of them is to hear from people who are actually in school themselves what is rigorous for them. I feel that because I had no teacher giving me assignments, I won’t be considered to have challenged myself enough. I don’t want to have offended anyone or made myself seem like I was trying to boast-- I’d just like to know if, given my circumstances, you believe that I have not slacked off.

Thank you very much.