<p>Admitted to all three. Will revisit but would welcome thoughts about pluses and minuses of each. We liked them all when we visited.</p>
<p>It’s like choosing between a Ferrari, Lamborghini, and a Maserati… Is there really a wrong choice?</p>
<p>It’s really about who you are as a person, and which school you felt like you belong to. No one else can make the decision. Message me if you want my honest opinions of each, for I will not bash any school for the entire internet to see. However, my views are biased since I just felt more of a connection with some schools than others.</p>
<p>If you didn’t get a package from Andover yet, does that mean you’ll be rejected? Were the packages supposed to be sent out March 9 or 10? Also, does anyone know what the Exeter email says if you were waitlisted as opposed to just rejected?</p>
<p>did you guys find out about hotchkis and andover online ?</p>
<p>It depends what you are looking for. If you are looking for a big school where you will meet lots of people, bond, have fun and learn a lot…go with Andover. I am at PA and it is wonderful. Its stressful but worth it. Exeter sounds similar, but with a different social scene. Hotchkiss is less academic but equally as fun apparently.</p>
<p>The slight disadvantage for us with Hotchkiss was location - it is rather a long trek to get to a hub airport. That may not matter to you, though.</p>
<p>Thank you for your response. She is academically oriented but also athletic and musical and likes to be involved in other school activities (writing for paper, science olympiad, student government, etc.). Do you have a sense of the difference in the social scenes at these schools?</p>
<p>Thank you for the private messages. I haven’t posted enough to respond by private message but the advice and encouragement is appreciated.</p>
<p>The three schools–although all excellent have very different feelings-- to stereotype which has somebasis in fact, Hotchkiss is a self-contained residential boarding school-- it probably of the three has the most traditional “prep” feeling (although not like Deerfield 
). Andover is full of brilliant involved kids-- the school has a reputation for flexibility–although it has a new head who was an Exonian. Exeter is much more like a liberal arts COLLEGE than a boarding school in a number of ways-- much less hand holding, with a much more if you can’t make it here, then it is ok to leave. Tom Hassan is trying and succeeding to make the Academy less of a Marine Corps boot camp and interestingly the push back is coming in many respects from the students who have chosen it for that reason. It is defined by the Harkness method which either suits one or doesn’t.</p>
<p>It would be unusual for someone who attends revisit days to have much of a difficult time figuring out which of the three is “home.” Again–all terrific schools in all respects, but stylistically quite different. </p>
<p>I know PEA best and if you want to PM me, I can give more impressions about it.</p>
<p>Hi EtonDad can u please pm me your thought on PEA? I was accepted and is trying to know in depth what is the school like. Thanks!</p>
<p>PRG1362- “Exeter is similar but with a different social scene.” What does that mean? If we don’t know either one of the school’s social scene’s how can we figure out what you mean when you say Exeter is similar but with a different social scene?</p>
<p>Etondad… “If you can’t make it here, it is ok to leave?” Do you mean, if you can’t hack it then you get booted? And go where? Does that happen often? You also mentioned that there is much less hand holding. I know that one of my specific questions at Exeter to the interviewer was in what way are Exeter and Andover different. He said that at Andover kids are pretty much given 100% independence… told to make their own schedules, very minimal rules such as study hall, etc. They simply have to just be self-motivated to do everything on thier own. Which is fine for a very independent kid… as mine is. At Exeter, there is a lot more hand holding. For example, we will help you with your schedule, we have certain study hall times etc.</p>
<p>So what the Exeter interviewer told me is actually opposite of what you wrote. I know that you know a lot about Exeter, so could you please expand on what you mean by less hand holding at Exeter? Thanks!!</p>
<p>There is no hand holding (my D who was Class of 12 just txt’ed and I read your posting and she was laughing–“hand holding???–what???”), but there are rules–and lots and lots and lots of work. The Harkness table means that it is very difficult to take a day off–not merely because it will be obvious to the teacher but because it will be obvious to the other students. </p>
<p>There are no “study halls”-- I’m not sure what that even means-- but there is check in and quiet hours and in the younger years --lights off–which are almost always defeated by the towel under the door jam as it will not be even near possible, unless you are the rare person, to finish all the work by the official bed time. My D routinely stayed up well past midnight even as a prep.</p>
<p>Exeter is much more of a liberal arts college than a boarding school and a number of kids find that the work load is more than they thought they wanted. But when the Academy tries to make things easier-- such as the reduction in the number of Saturday classes (yes, they still have some of those) or P/F for the first trimester of prep year it is the student body that grumbles – the word one hears on campus is “If we wanted it easy, we would have gone to Andover.” (Of course, they have no real idea of Andover work loads…) It is more that the type of kid who is attracted to Exeter is like the type of person who wants the Marine Corps not the Navy.</p>
<p>One isn’t better than the other, but the feel of the campuses are quite different. Go to the revisit days-- When my D was looking at both --the A day had an ice cream truck and the Coach of the Patriots who is an alum came to speak. At Exeter, Mr Gary, the AD, said congrats we would love to have you come but Exeter isn’t for everyone and if it isn’t for you that is fine too-- as I recall they paired her with a prep for the day and gave her a window sticker and a meal chit and that was that. </p>
<p>Again, maybe the short hand isn’t independent or coddled but coast guard or marine corps (that was from my D ).</p>
<p>Here is the schedule for one of the revisit days-- note that the “afternoon activities” are jus for the parents as the prospectives are in class–btw they are to be in dress code (as are parents who wish to attend class)-- as I said-- rules, lots of rules. But note that aside from cookies at the end of the day nothing really out of the ordinary. Just attending classes–and one panel discussion.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.exeter.edu/documents/EE_Thursday_April_4_2013_Schedule.pdf[/url]”>http://www.exeter.edu/documents/EE_Thursday_April_4_2013_Schedule.pdf</a></p>
<p><a href=“http://www.exeter.edu/admissions/109_15162.aspx[/url]”>http://www.exeter.edu/admissions/109_15162.aspx</a></p>
<p>thank you for the clarification etondad. I meant to say “study time/quiet time” as opposed to “study hall”… and then lights out, etc. To me, that is what I mean by hand-holding. Being told what to do and when to do it versus hey “Make your schedule, you know when class is, and other than that… you’re on your own.” I think that is what the Exeter interviewer was trying to get across as the difference. Exeter- We’ll have structure for your kid, tell them when good times are to study, have a light’s out policy, have a structured time for breakfast, lunch, and dinner… “hold their hand.”<br>
Versus Andover- Independence. </p>
<p>ok… now I understand what you mean by “military like.” You have to pardon my misunderstanding, I was never in the miliary. When you said, “military like” I was thinking along the lines of “maybe they do a lot of exercising, etc.” I don’t know what you mean with the comment of Marine versus Navy. One is on land the other is in the water? I think I read that one of the schools requires you to pass a swim test. I can’t recall which school that was though.</p>
<p>When you say, “Exeter is much more like a liberal arts college versus a boarding school,” what do you mean? Thanks again!</p>
<p>I’m still trying to get a grasp of the differences. Is it safe to say that Exeter is a lot of hard work, a lot of structure, a lot of rules, and the academics are rigorous. While Andover gives its students their freedom and independence to make their own schedules, do whatever they want, and while the academics are difficult a lot of kids simply have a lot of fun… which might be why we hear the term “sink or swim” so much. Some of the kids have the discipline to go to class, study hard, and make the grades, while some of the kids can’t discipline themselves enough when given their independence so they have to much fun that they don’t make enough time to study, etc. Which in turn leads to poor grades, thus they sink?</p>
<p>The Marines have a the tougher it gets the more we like it attitude. Exonians are very much the Marines and as I mentioned even attempts by the administration to lighten the load is not welcomed by a large part of the student body–or faculty (I think over 40% of the faculty voted no on the P/F first term…).</p>
<p>The check in is real but the other two are more in the breech (esp the “lights out” which is completely ignored–and two years ago the administration admitted as much…) than reality</p>
<p>The amount of work and the intellectual demands along with the “if this isn’t right for you, if you can’t handle the work, then the door is right over there” attitude of Exeter. Of my D’s five best prep friends two were there at graduation–one was asked to leave, one was suggested that she might want to change schools and one on her own said “enough”. Now I think she had an unusual sample but still, Exeter requires a lot of mental toughness.</p>
<p>The Harkness table toughens the ego too-- while it isn’t a political foodfight like on TV-- the kids can be tough and any sloppy thinking can and will be exposed–not by the teacher necessarily (and if he/she does it it will be done gently in most cases–) but by fellow students. There is a term, Harkness warrior, for those who love to do battle – the job of a teacher is to control the warrior, esp in prep year, but again the kids learn to hold their own, defend positions and seek out not well constructed arguments with each other over the table.</p>
<p>Also, as mentioned, and my D wanted me to emphasize this-- a student can’t just “mail it in” as a student can in a regular class from time to time. Harkness puts everyone on the spot EVERY DAY and the embarrassment factor of not looking smart and prepared in from of peers is what is frequently the primary driver to work harder.</p>
<p>Like college there is far more work than time–esp with ECs and sports which are very important for most Exonians–learning to cope with the workload and the stress of that load is a significant part of the experience.
Also the grading is harsh. NO grade inflation, no points for effort, no extra credit. Your grades are your grades.</p>
<p>My D is at top NESCAC school with a reputation for being academically rigorous and a number of her friends are at Harvard, Columbia, Yale, other NESCAC and U Chicago-- all of them report that intellectually they are cake compared to Exeter.</p>
<p>Now after this litany of woes why would ever want to attend? Bc as my best friend who was summa at Yale with a joint BA/MA in economics and the Harvard Law Review will say any time he is asked-- “Yale and Harvard were fine and I learned a bunch of stuff but my intellectual training is all Exeter, It defines me to this day.” That is why.</p>
<p>I was a medical student and teacher at Exeter while I was in training and have remained good friends with a number of the faculty and my D went there–and my S is starting in the fall–and I heard stories after stories of how the faculty will not put up with a kid who can’t cut it–again, it is getting less this way but not by much. </p>
<p>So it’s that-- one’s fellow students and the faculty expect you to perform at a college level (I looked at my D’s transcript this morning-- from lower year on almost all courses had a star next to them which meant that course was college level) Her Greek history course as a prep used the Amherst textbook and I’ll never forget that her first paper fall term was on the idea of feminism in Minoan society–so its not just load but how it is taught and the level of sophistication expected. </p>
<p>Take the Exeter math curriculum, about which I have written elsewhere, there are no textbooks–the students are just given sets of problems–and I don’t mean equations but problems (go to the exeter.edu math seb site and look at the curriculum) to figure out-- they are written so that frequently the problem can be solved using multiple approaches. Each kid writes his or her answer on the board before class and then the class is the kid explaining the answer to the class-- and critiques or suggestions from one’s classmates or the teacher on other–often radically different approaches. It is very different than the usual linear approach to teaching math–and for some kids doesn’t work, but for those for whom it does it is amazing-- make it a point on revisit day to go to a math class or two to understand what I mean.</p>
<p>It will be easier to stand out in a smaller school like Hotchkiss rather than getting lost in a bigger school. School size should be another consideration as all the schools will give you a great education. Smaller schools have a more close-knit community.</p>
<p>^^that is generally the case–my D chose a NESCAC over an Ivy for that reason and is happy bc of it.</p>
<p>Thank you very much Etondad for all your inputs. They are really helpful!</p>