Another Roommate Thread (looking for advice)

<p>I need some advice on how to handle this situation. I know I can talk to my CA, but I don't feel comfortable talking to them. I talked to a co-worker about this but she couldn't really help me expect to say if you don't like your roommate move. This is the thing I don't mind my roommate. I can tolerate her.</p>

<p>Here's my situation. Yesterday my roommate asked me if I would be willing to rearrange some of my furniture. I was ok with that until I talked to my mom. She wanted an updated on how my medications where working out, and if I had any problems. I told her my sleeping medication left a "hangover" effect and that I've noticed twice I have gotten up and I don't remember how I got down off my loft. She suggested that I follow one of my past doctor's advice and not to use a loft (at the time I had top bunk of a bunk bed) because it could be dangerous and some sleeping medications could cause you to sleep walk. So after thinking about possibly ways to arrange the room I left my roommate a note as I went in between classes if she would be ok with my loft coming down, and I gave some ideas on how we could set it up. We meant up today on my way back to the dorm because she locked herself out and on the way she said "I left my dorm, and I forgot my keys" I can see how this can become a common phrase "My dorm" when you're talking to friends but she does say it often enough that it's started to bother me. Anyway after I unlocked the door she said she wanted a social space when she said she wanted to rearrange. I can see why, but we wouldn't have gotten this anyway because she didn't want to loft her bed.
Since I'm no longer lofting my bed she feels we won't have any space. Not true. She asked to use my loft, but I told her it was going home because my parents would like to have the temporarily renter use it. (Not the reason I'm getting rid of it though, if it was up to me the renter wouldn't be in the house)</p>

<p>She is making me feel like the bad guy, but honestly I have come to the conclusion that she is use to having her way because she tries to control the room. I can't change rooms anymore, and there are no singles. They had less than 15 singles and gave them all to students who needed them because of medical reasons. So what can I do to make the situation less awkward now? Nothing is happening until next week when my cousin comes to help me. I offered to help move her stuff over to her side. My mom suggest getting her a small gift card. Ideas? I'm not returning next Spring, and she doesn't have the slightest clue that I'm not.</p>

<p>Is there a reason she cannot lof her bed? Whether your bed is lofted or not should be up to you.</p>

<p>Tell her to buy a loft if she wants. It’s your loft and it’s your choice. If she wants more room, tell her to buy a loft. Why is it ok for her to have her bed down but not you?</p>

<p>I couldn’t loft my bed because of knee issues so we ended up using it as a couch to make better use of the space. Don’t know if that’s something you’d be willing to do, but that’s just one option.</p>

<p>Thanks for the advice. She told me before we moved in that she would rather not loft her bed because she is 5"11 and that she would hit her head to many times. I’m 5"5 and I hit my head too. I know she is ****ed at me right now because she hardly will talk, and I know she is complaining to her friends and boyfriend. I’m getting rid of it for medical reasons (medication) so I don’t see what the problem is. I told her about my medical problems (migraines, and now post concussive) before we moved in, and when my concussion happened.</p>

<p>She keeps trying to get me to call my cousin to come help me tomorrow, but I’m not willing to force it on him since I know he works multiple jobs. So instead I have a different cousin coming to help me move my desk, dresser tomorrow because my roommate wants her side of the room cleared of my stuff so her’s can all be over there. I like her eagerness but I didn’t expect her to want it moved tomorrow. Our set up is so that no one has a defined space.</p>

<p>She sounds like she’s being selfish. Try to ignore her if you can. You need to do what’s best for YOU, and not feel guilty about it.</p>

<p>Wow, what a … </p>

<p>Don’t feel guilty. She’s full of crap. I’m 6 foot, you make it work if you absolutely need to.</p>

<p>You will probably appreciate each having your own side of the room…it may help keep you from aggravating each other.</p>

<p>Thank you all for the advice. She seemed to be in a slightly better mood today, but I was in a way kicked out so she could spend time with her boyfriend. At least I worked during that time. Now that I will no longer be working I think once and while they can go over to his dorm for alone time along with their set time once week at ours.</p>

<p>She asked me to move my desk back over tonight so I did. I have no space because she did not move her stuff from under the loft. I’m hoping by leaving this weekend she will spend time moving her stuff over, and calm down. I know if she continues being rude about it I will talk to my hall director. I don’t feel that moving would help situation especially since room changes where earlier this week so I can’t do it with my hall director’s approval anyway. Hopefully she doesn’t make it worse especially since the loft isn’t going down until next week. I agree that she should’ve lofted her bed also if she wanted more of living space. </p>

<p>Thank you again for the advice. I just felt like I was being attacked for no reason, and I felt safer no longer being lofted until I can stop taking my medication.</p>

<p>You need to ask her to move her stuff if it is on your side of the room…actually, she should move it without being asked! Rearrange your side of the room to suit yourself as long as your arrangement does not impinge on her ability to enjoy her side of the room.</p>

<p>So just an update because I’ve exhausted my parents with the situation. </p>

<p>She moved her stuff, but took over the window ledge and put the microwave on my side of the ledge. I’m having my cousin come Friday, and she will be asked to leave when he comes. I’m hoping it only takes us less than 3 hours because first thing is first the loft needs to get taken out and load straight into his truck’s bed. Next we need to move my desk and dresser, than the bed, and finally my fridge. I honestly think it will take us 2 hours tops. </p>

<p>She has seemed to be more relaxed, but she is very selfish, and impatient. I let her use my printer, because we only get $10 worth of printing at school. She has been using my colored ink which I will not be replacing. She moved my printer to the window ledge which I will be doing after I move everything. Otherwise I have no where to hook my laptop up to print without using her bed. She has said I could sit there but I feel uncomfortable doing that. I don’t like confrontation, so I’m very timid to say something but this time I’m holding my foot down. I moved my printer back to my desk because I do need it, and I told her I will moving it on Friday. She still has printing money left but is to lazy to use it. We have a lab in our dorm’s basement.</p>

<p>Ok I need some more advice before it gets worse. I’m frustrated and I’m going to snap at her soon. I left the room so she could, and I could cool down.
This past Friday I took down my loft and set my side up how I liked. I do still like it although its crowded. I followed through on my promise of keeping the tv on my dresser. So I left for the weekend because I had a family function going on, and at this rate I think I’m leaving every weekend. I got a text today asking when I would be back. I told her my sister would coming up to help bring stuff, and possibly set up bed raisers (I’m not sure if that is the right word, and not using anymore) Well she says are you rearranging your side? No, and I said I like how I have it. She said well we can discuss it later (I’m thinking no and this is before I knew what was coming)</p>

<p>So I get back and right away she asks can you move your dresser so when I have friends over they can see the tv. Mind you I kept a folding chair that she bought me (repaid her) because she thought I would want when I didn’t. I had to leave so I said we can discuss it later. She goes to dinner while I get my stuff situated and again as soon as she gets back can you pull your dresser out a little so we can see the tv and be comfortable on my bed. I said I really didn’t want to a) its keeping the cord for the tv hidden so I don’t trip over it (she had it all in front of my dresser, and over my bed) and b) I like how it is. Well I can’t see the tv comfortably on my bed. I said well I kept that chair so why don’t you use it? She didn’t like that response, and never gave a good reason why she couldn’t. Mind you I can’t see the tv at all from my bed, or desk. I don’t even watch the tv, and it’s mine. I only kept it because my mom said not to make her angrier by having it taken home.</p>

<p>Am I in the wrong here? I’ve been really flexible with her, and haven’t asked her to do much. She needs to move her microwave so I can put the printer there but I highly doubt she will now. I honestly think she is being very rude because it isn’t her side, and I’ve been more the cooperative with whatever she asks. I leave when her and boyfriend hang out. I let her family all 4 (5 with her) of them have the room for a few hours (I had no where to go mind you)</p>

<p>I don’t think she realizes how frustrating and spoiled she has been acting this past month. I honestly don’t like her. I gave bad markings on our surveys for dorming for the roommate section. I could talk to my CA, but I’ve had bad experiences in the past talking to people when I had problems arise with classmates. Should I hold my ground on this issue? I really like how I have it set up and I know what she is getting at, but its like she never considers my feelings. She had a hissy fit over me taking down my loft, and not letting her use it. </p>

<p>Thank you.</p>

<p>You can stick the printer under your bed and pull it out when you need to print something.
If she is using your printer with your permission, be sure to make it clear that she will have to chip in 1/2 the cost of each replacement ink cartridge. </p>

<p>It is ridiculous for her to be mad at you because you chose not to keep your bed lofted. If she wants more room, she should be the lofting HER bed.</p>

<p>You could buy a longer cable wire and extension cord so there is enough slack for the cords to be hidden behind the dresser. Find a place in the room where you can put the TV so both of you can watch it.</p>

<p>The windowsill space should be equally divided. She gets half and you get half. </p>

<p>Keep your desk, dresser, bed on one side and she should keep hers on the other.</p>

<p>Go out to lunch or dinner with her and talk calmly and rationally about the room situation.
Initiate the discussion at a place outside of the room (which seems to be the focus of hard feelings). Honestly, these are little misunderstanding between roommates that can be overcome. Other students are dealing with much more complicated roommate issues than these. You two can work this out. Perhaps this is the first time either of you has had to share a living space. If so, it’s natural to hit a few bumps in the road in the beginning.</p>