<p>I posted this in the college life section, but I feel like parents would have some sound advice as well. My parents never lived on a campus, and they really don't know what to say. </p>
<p>This all started about two weeks ago when I asked my roommate if it was ok for me to take my loft down. I asked to be nice, and to let her know she would need to move her stuff. I took it down for medical reasons because I take a sleeping pill and when I get up in the morning I'm not 100% so I didn't feel comfortable going up and down. One morning I didn't even remember how I got down. She was upset, and didn't speak to me for the night because she had wanted to switch our room so there would be a space for friends to come over. I honestly don't really have a ton of friends here because I'm transferring. She threw a fit, and complained to her mother and boyfriend. Probably friends to at dinner because everyone needs someone to vent too. lol</p>
<p>I moved my stuff early from her side since we didn't have sides to begin with we both shared the room equally. I believe she had more space though. Friday I moved everything to how I would like it, and my loft was gone. I came back tonight to see that the tv cord is in front of my dresser so I couldn't open, and I would trip over. Also she is using all my side's outlets. We have yet to discuss that issue.</p>
<p>Anyway I got a message in the afternoon asking when I'd be back. I replied and I told her someone would be coming up with to help bring stuff up, and take stuff home. I also got bed raiser(risers) because I thought I might use them since it would only go up 1/2 in. She thought I was rearranging my room, and I replied no I like how it is. I got a message back saying we would talk about it when I got back. (I got frustrated when I saw that)</p>
<p>As soon as my family member left she asks me to move my dresser because she and her friends couldn't sit comfortably on her bed to watch it. It's my tv, and I don't watch it. I really wanted it to go home, but my mom advised me not to because it would make her angrier. I can't even watch as it is now because it is position to face her bed. I honestly do not want to move it because it is hiding the cord now so I don't trip, and can get in to my dresser plus I like how my side is set up. I said you know I left that folding chair (lawn type that is used at sporting events) so that you could have someone use that. She didn't like that and said she still wouldn't be able to lay in her bed and watch tv at night. Than she said well your never here on the weekend (I'm not because of her, I go to family members houses) I'm frustrated, and so is she. I don't feel like giving in to her because I've already cooperated a lot and I let her have her way most of the time. I don't like confrontation. I feel like I need to hold my foot down on this issue because if I don't she will continue to walk over me. Should I cave in? I really just want her to start respecting me. I feel like she doesn't and I feel she is acting very spoiled on every issue. It is like she thinks it's her room, and she can dictate what I do and what I don't. </p>
<p>Any advice is welcomed. I just needed to vent that out. I also don't feel comfortable talking to a CA, or my RHD (I heard she doesn't really help at all with these issues) because of past experience in school talking to adults about classmates.</p>
<p>Thank you. I know I should, but I feel like she is should be mature enough to bring it up to me in a way that isn’t demanding, or how she did tonight (try to force it on me). In a way trying to blame me for it. I guess if she still is being rude about it by tomorrow I will try one of my CA’s.</p>
<p>When we moved our younger daughter to her summer school, we got there after her roommate did. Her roommate already picked the best bed and dresser, but the room wasn’t arranged in the best possible way. I suggested to both girls to take a look at few other rooms to see how other people arranged their room. They came back with better ideas, and my husband helped them move the furniture around. H is very good at arranging stuff, at the end both girls got what they wanted and they had a lot more space than they had before. </p>
<p>Why don’t you and your roommate look at other rooms, to see how they arranged their room, it may give you a better idea in how to set up your room better. Both of you may like the new configuration better. As far as outlets, it is very inexpensive to buy extension cords and outlets.</p>
<p>I don’t understand why you guys are still watching TV, why couldn’t she watch shows on her laptop with an earplug. I don’t know that many college students watch a real TV.</p>
<p>If you were my daughter, well, there wouldn’t be a tv. If you left it there just to please a roommate and this dispute ensued, I would suggest letting her know one of those nearby relatives asked for it and, a few weeks later, take it to one of those family members. That’s not spite. In my book, that’s eliminating an unnecessary thing that’s causing grief.</p>
<p>This sort of thing happens all the time. One of the gals in my D’s quad arrived first and rearraged everything to her taste- it was a ridiculous layout and you couldn’t open the door all the way. Another needed an alarm that blasted everyone up at 530 am.</p>
<p>I’d second suggestions given by other parents…especially to talk to the RA to deal with the seeming accumulations of disagreements between you and your roommate. Best to get to the bottom of those disagreements through some sort of mediation than to let them get worse for the rest of the term/year. </p>
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<p>Probably technologically challenged or just don’t want to bother figuring a computer out to watch TV on it. People like her are a major reason why IT personnel are still in business in many corporate and consumer contexts.</p>
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<p>Funny. When I was a college freshman(mid-'90’s), I actually had a heated argument with an aunt because SHE kept insisting I “needed” a TV when I was just as strongly insistent that it wasn’t necessary, a distraction from my primary priorities in college, and a colossal waste of space in my dorm.</p>
<p>I just read your other post about this and want to remind you that she’s getting away with her demands because you keep going along with her ideas- the tv, microwave, guests, boyfriend, etc. It doesn’t have to be a “confrontation,” to simply state that you need x amount of space and x hours of study or sleep in your dorm room- and stick to your guns, nicely. You have to be part of the fix. It’s one of the things kids do learn in the college experience.</p>
<p>You can stick the printer under your bed and pull it out when you need to print something.
If she is using your printer with your permission, be sure to make it clear that she will have to chip in 1/2 the cost of each replacement ink cartridge. </p>
<p>It is ridiculous for her to be mad at you because you chose not to keep your bed lofted. If she wants more room, she should be the lofting HER bed.</p>
<p>You could buy a longer cable wire and extension cord so there is enough slack for the cords to be hidden behind the dresser. Find a place in the room where you can put the TV so both of you can watch it.</p>
<p>The windowsill space should be equally divided. She gets half and you get half. </p>
<p>Keep your desk, dresser, bed on one side and she should keep hers on the other.</p>
<p>Go out to lunch or dinner with her and talk calmly and rationally about the room situation.
Initiate the discussion at a place outside of the room (which seems to be the focus of hard feelings). Honestly, these are little misunderstanding between roommates that can be overcome. Other students are dealing with much more complicated roommate issues than these. You two can work this out. Perhaps this is the first time either of you has had to share a living space. If so, it’s natural to hit a few bumps in the road in the beginning.</p>
<p>Reading over some of your previous posts (you are transferring to a local school for financial reasons and because you’ve had a second head injury), I think that you just need to do what you can to get through the remaining weeks of the term with your roommate. Be selfish, because your physical (don’t you get migraines?) and emotional health are more important than satisfying her princess expectations. You have posted that you got along well with your roommate in the beginning. Realistically, though, you will never see her again after you transfer (even if you were still getting along well), so do what needs to be done. Involve the RA. Hang in there – the end is in sight! The end of the term will be here before you know it!</p>