Rommate concerns

<p>My roommate moved in a few days ago. We are now trying to get to know each other. This morning I was half awake and saw her doing something with my closet. I am wondering if and how I should ask her. Any suggestions would be appreciated.</p>

<p>Thanks.</p>

<p>Yes, speak up, kindly, about any issues as soon as they occur. There could be a simple answer (“I couldn’t find my belt and was going to borrow one of yours, didn’t want to wake you”) but the longer you wait, the harder it gets to speak up. And if you let something happen 4 or 5 times before you speak up, the roommate will assume the action is okay. You don’t have to accuse her of anything, just ask “hey, it looked like you were in my closet this morning, but I was half asleep at the time. What did you need?”</p>

<p>She may have grown up in a household with lots of people where borrowing is an accepted practice. It will take some time for the two of you to learn how to share your space, how to navigate early morning classes, having friends over when the other needs quiet place to study, etc. Some things you can compromise on, some you may need to stand your ground. (Having a night owl who have lots of friends over for drinking parties 6 nights a week is not acceptable if you need to go to sleep at 11 pm. Limiting the parties to weekends is a compromise.)</p>

<p>Have conversations, get to know one another in general, and ask questions about specifics. (Are you a morning person or a night owl? Do you like to start talking as soon as you wake up, or do you need some alone time with a cup of coffee before you are ready to socialize?)</p>

<p>This is not a one time easy fix. Learning to live with a roommate is a valuable skill, and is worth the effort. Best of luck to you!</p>

<p>Thank you so much powercropper! Your advice has been a great help. I talked to her and it’s all good now.</p>

<p>Thanks!</p>