<p>^ I also requested to proofread the essays before they were submitted. I also said that Word has a spell checker, use it BEFORE I see it.</p>
<p>My son, who is the world’s worst speller and hates writing (engineering school, of course), surprised me the most. He showed me his first draft (about 3 weeks before it was due) and it was pretty rough. I resisted the temptation to edit it, but sat down and discussed the basic idea he had and where his essay was strong and where it was weak. When he showed me his “almost final” draft it was was not perfect (IMHO) but displayed some real insights. He said that he also had his best friend read and comment on it. I thought that having his friend read it was very useful and helpfull and would recommend that others do the same.</p>
<p>^You have to have trustworthy friends though and one that isn’t afraid of being brutally honest. My son (who I thought wrote good essays that really had his voice and weren’t afraid to be funny) thought all the essays of friends that he saw were way too earnest and occasionally pretentious. I think he was probably right as he did somewhat better in the acceptance game than he expected to.</p>
<p>HPuck - I know there’s still time, but DS’s college counselor wanted her kids’ common apps and essays started by this past summer. They were also asked to do student input forms, get references out, and do a resume. Most of our college tours are done - we’ve been touring since the summer before Junior year. Now it’s time to narrow down the list, and do more research on the ones he’s really interested in. So far, he’s not shown much interest or drive to do much - I’ve done all the research and planning up until now and have spoon-fed all the information to him, but I can’t do this last bit for him. </p>
<p>I was hoping he would have gotten at least some of the work started over the summer before schoolwork got in the way. I’d like to see him apply ED to his top choice to increase his chances, but that just means he has even less time to prepare.</p>
<p>I definitely want to see his app and essay before he sends them since I’m the one who’s done the research and know more about what they’re looking for than he does. I’ve written everything out for him to help him in the app process (I told you - spoon fed), but he hasn’t even looked at it.</p>
<p>So is it that he really thinks he has all the time in the world, or is he just overwhelmed with it all or too scared about the next big step? Shouldn’t he be more excited about college??</p>
<p>My son’s GC also wanted this but in reality very few kids did this, including the ones that got into Ivy League schools. I’m not sure doing it early really makes that much of a difference. A good friend’s son submitted his Brown application one hour before the due date and got accepted. One of my son’s classmate did that at not only Brown but the University of Chicago and go into to both places (he’s now at Brown). Neither of these kid’s parents reviewed the application or the essay.</p>
<p>In a perfect world, they would get started during the summer but for most teens that just doesn’t happen. After Thanksgiving is probably more realistic.</p>
<p>It isn’t that starting the applications and essays in the summer has anything to do with admissions success. It just makes the process so much easier on the kid. Fall of Senior year is really busy. If you kid is involved in an intense, Fall season specific, activity their lives get a little crazy. And being Seniors, they are more likely to be taking on leadership roles, plus they are most likely taking harder classes than they have in the past. </p>
<p>Both of my kids were procrastinators, but were forced to at least start the process in the summer. the GCs wanted to meet one on one with them in the summer to discuss what schools they would be applying to, and they needed to supply a resume to the GC at that time. Also, one of the first 12th grade English (regular/honors/AP) assignments of the fall, was to write an essay. Any topic, but one that could be used for college applications was highly encouraged. They ended up with one well done, well edited essay. All that nudging by the school created big grumbles at the time, but it made life a lot easier in October and November.</p>
<p>At any rate, it all got done, or it didn’t. Oldest never finished 2 applications that he had left for the end, because by then he’d already been accepted at those he was most interested in. Did we care that he didn’t submit the last 2? Not a bit. It was his decision.</p>
<p>megan12, Who’s applying to college? You or your son? You’ve done all the research. Sounds like you’re the one applying.</p>
<p>If I was him, I’d not have any interest either. It seems like you are making all the decisions, not him. Back off and put the responsibility where it belongs, on your son. After all, the essays are supposed to be what HE thinks, not you; and admissions people can usually tell the difference.</p>
<p>Keep going down the current pathand your son may get into the school of YOUR choice. He’ll have no “skin in the game” and therefore no reason to like where he’s at or even do well there. It sounds like you’re on a path to a disaster.</p>
<p>The counselor doesn’t want to have to read all essays at the last minute (and be up late). They also want to live in a more perfect world. It isn’t so. Most of my son’s and daughter’s friends were last minute (or just about) submittials. No penalty for that as long as you do meet the deadline. My son’s best friend ended up getting admitted to Harvard and submitted his app within the last hour of the window. Even blew my son away as to how close he cut it.</p>
<p>HPuck - if I didn’t do all the research and the planning, we wouldn’t even have gotten this far. Should I have waited for him to get off his butt and do something? No. This is too important for that. After he gets in to the college of HIS choice, he can do whatever he wants. Until then, my job is to make sure that he continues down the right path in life and makes good decisions.</p>
<p>I’ve been TRYING to put the responsibility on him to complete the process - that’s the point. Do I have to light the boy’s underwear on fire or what??!!</p>
<p>I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one with kids who did their apps at the last minute. But if he waits until Thanksgiving, he’ll have missed the ED deadline for his top choice.</p>
<p>I agree with Megan that it is too important. I took the initiative my son’s sophomore year to do the research to get into college. We are both glad that I did, and joke about WE are going to college. He is constantly thanking me for the help. With all of the work that goes into getting into college, I don’t see any problem managing the process. He still has to write the essays, ask for recommendations and do interviews. With the work load at school, EC, and work there is no point putting more on him. Is there a point where we need to totally let go… Yep, but at 17 we are not there yet.</p>
<p>“In a teenager’s mind, December and January deadlines are SO FAR AWAY” - At our HS, all apps are due mid Nov if submission is desired before year end. </p>
<p>As the semester ramps up, students will find it harder and harder to make enough time for tracking app dates/requirements and refining essays (an iterative process which often helps the student refine personal priorities). So I understand the parents that are trying to give encouragement to procrastinators. There’s a lot at stake, sometimes including scholarships. </p>
<p>Parents - If you haven’t already started your detailed homework with financial aid calculators, 2010 FAFSA estimates where required etc… now is a good time to start.</p>
<p>Thank you CollegeDad and ColoradoMom for understanding what I was saying! I like the part where you joke about “we’re” going to college - that’s exactly how it feels!</p>
<p>This is sort of like the last thing we have to do before we set him free. And I don’t want to see my baby bird take a crash landing!</p>
<p>“I’ve been TRYING to put the responsibility on him”</p>
<p>Got news for you. YOU can’t PUT the responsibility on him. Only HE can TAKE the responsibility. You can GIVE him the authority to do something.</p>
<p>It sounds like you’ve given him the authority but then are undermining it by doing a lot of the work yourself. That undermining of his authority could be one of the, or maybe the primary, reasons for his not taking the responsibility.</p>
<p>I don’t want to see your “baby bird” crash and burn either. The college app is considered by many (including me, obviously) to be the first real step a person has to take into adulthood.</p>
<p>I said “Thanksgiving” as most ED/EA app deadlines I’ve seen are Dec 1. If there is an earlier deadline for him, then his “Thanksgiving” will come earlier.</p>
<p>coloradomom: I don’t understand how a HS dictates when a college app is due?</p>
<p>^^^ Our hs requires 7 days to assemble and send the supporting materials (LORs, transcript, profile). They have to set a deadline because, with hundreds of kids applying, many of them to 8-10 schools, the staff is run off its feet from October-January.</p>
<p>This was a bigger deal a decade ago, when few apps were submitted online and everything, including the student’s application, was sent in the same envelope. Today, it seems as if the important date is the one on which the student hits the submit button; I’m not aware of any colleges that won’t look at an app if the supporting materials are received beyond the deadline. But the 7-day rule was an excellent motivator in our school system.</p>
<p>I also agree with acollege dad about the need to provide structure and support. I understand what hpuck is saying about giving the child responsibility. But I think too much is at stake to risk missed deadlines, etc. while waiting for the child to find his elusive sense of adulthood. There are scholarships at stake, and that is critical for many families.</p>
<p>My son is a huge procrastinator in this process, and requires constant nagging and pushing. Yet, I have never had to read an essay for school, nag him about homework, or make sure he was up in the morning for school. I do not criticize other parents for having to “push” their kids about homework or getting up for school. I would hope that parents who do not have children who have procrastinated in this college app process would have some understanding that this is an unusual circumstance and does require parent involvement. </p>
<p>Each child is different. If your chld is a go-getter about applying for college, well, good for you. But if your child is hesitant, it doesn’t mean he or she isn’t ready for college or might need a gap year or a community college. It might just mean that the complexity of this whole application process and your child’s level of social/emotional development makes it just too overwhelmng to do on his or her own. Heck, I’m finding it pretty overwhelming to sort out all of the details. Why wouldn’t a 17-y/o find it to be difficult?</p>
<p>Leaving alone works well. He will get somewhere, right? Maybe he does not want to go to college? Nobody can make them…even parents.
Bribes work very well until about 9 years of age. Then they figure out that they are not worthwhile…but if used properly. by 9 they could develop great habits with this positive approach.</p>
<p>"coloradomom: I don’t understand how a HS dictates when a college app is due? " </p>
<p>Maybe I said it wrong. Our HS handled all apps by paper (none online). This was 2 years ago and may have changed. Anyway, they mailed the whole package, incl student app, after their work was done. So if a student wanted that package mailed by year end (guaranteed), he/she had to submit it to GC by mid Nov. The local private college counselors suggest Halloween deadline.</p>
<p>I give S a goal or two every week. Last week, it was practice for ACT. This week, it was email all of his colleges’ local representatives with questions/updates.</p>
<p>S is a major procrastinator, but wants me and needs me to do this. It certainly doesn’t mean he doesn’t push back sometimes. Bu then, last night, he hugged me and thanked me for helping him through the process. I loved that hug. :)</p>
<p>^It is good, but they need to learn to set their own goals at this point. We are not there with them at college, we cannot supervise that close. Many fail at college because they have not learnt to manage thier time by themselves, plan and schedule activities before they go to college. This is the most important skill, not dong laundry or cleanning and cooking.</p>
<p>^^ MiamiDAP, I can see the value in letting S set all of his own goals. But, he has school work, job, volleyball, clubs and senior project (organizing a major event) to juggle in the next few months. He could use some support and I am happy to guide him through this process. I cannot help with the other things.</p>
<p>We told our S to apply to the state flagship EA, which was due by Nov. 1. That forced him to at least get the common app and essay done. We also said if you want to go out of state and the college required EA to qualify for scholarship/merit money, he had to do that too or the college was off the table (the ones he was interested in had Dec. 1 EA deadlines).</p>
<p>He ended up applying to 3 colleges EA (the state flagship and 2 OOS publics) and 3 RD (all privates). He was admitted to the state flagship in late Dec., which really took the pressure off, both OOS publics (surprisingly late for having applied EA), and one of the privates. He is a freshman at the state flagship (UMass Amherst) this year, and it seems to be going well.</p>
<p>Do try to have your son apply to an in-state public EA (the flagship if appropriate, or whatever looks like a good match). It gets the process rolling, the apps are usually easier than the private college apps (which mostly seem to require supplements), and he’ll either have an early acceptance in hand, or if he’s not accepted, know he has to work Plan B for RD.</p>
<p>"But, he has school work, job, volleyball, clubs and senior project (organizing a major event) to juggle in the next few months. "</p>
<p>-They usually have much more at college in comparison to HS with academic challenges being much greater even for kids at the top of their respective prep, private HS who decided to go to public state schools, even for those at the very top, academic challenges are much greater than they anticipated. And great number are in sports or working out regularly, work, doing Research, volunteering, greek life, clubs, unrelated minor(s), trips abroad, various college events and yes… going to the bar on the weekend. Then, upper classmen sometime have to prep. for Grad school admission tests (in addition to regular schedule, sometime it takes several hours every day for few months) like MCAT, LSAT, GRE, GMAT…and then going to interviews at Grad. Schools.
Please do not think that your high schooler will be less busy at college. Sorry, he will be busy much more with much greater challenges and very important deadlines to meet that will greatly affect his future. And yes, it will start right away, the first day of his freshman year…you will not be there…is he going to have enough time mangement skills to accomplish that?</p>