<p>
[quote]
I am not concerned other than the feeling I am missing something
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I have to echo Alumother's post and tell you that what you are "missing" is a whole lot of stress and bickering. I did fly out with my son to his LAC 6 years ago, but I let my d. go out alone last year .... and the one very nice thing about it all was that we had a very peaceful summer & a relaxed goodbye at the airport. </p>
<p>I went to visit my daughter in the spring -- also avoiding the crowd on parents' weekend -- and I had a wonderful time. She was all settled in - I even was able to attend one of her classes with her and the prof was absolutely delighted to have a parent visiting. I could meet her roommates and some of her friends when she already knew them well -- also much nicer than a room full of stressed-out strangers. </p>
<p>So I think that as long as the kid is confident and basic logistics are worked out (easiest in an urban setting) -- its really easier all around when the kid goes on his own. So... don't feel guilty! It really does work out well. </p>
<p>I do have to say that the cell phone is a wonderful invention when it comes to kids traveling on their own -- as is Google & Google Maps. My kids are quite fond of calling me from faraway cities and asking me for directions. ;)</p>
<p>If i were to go out west coast and for some reason my parents didnt come(u will see in a minute) i would have a milion helping hands...
sisters bf(if he wasnt in Iraq)
sister bf's brother..(i would beg him me and him have a good friendship bonding hes only 2 yrs older)
sister bf's other brother if i could get him away from his at that point wife..
sister
sisters bf's parents
aunt and uncle from SD
^their son and daughter</p>
<p>yep and thats y i said if for some reason my parents didnt come out(b/c its our vacation spot i highly doubt that if i were to go to somewhere in So-cal they wouldnt come out with me)</p>
<p>oh and i almost forgot my other uncle from LA</p>
<p>I think it's hard to make a blanket statement that most kids don't need or want their parents at move in. For my son's college any freshman that doesn't have their own car will have a harder time moving in and will be in the minority without parents in tow. I don't think we bickered at all, but son is a very low key guy anyway and will avoid drama at all costs. For me, the moving in and seeing where our son was settled was the final piece to the college process. It was enjoyable, emotional, an unmissable. My husband had never seen the campus before and him seeing it and giving his endorsement was important to our son. For some parents too, the choice might be parents weekend or move-in.</p>
<p>skiers-mom
sorry to tell you but New England won't be autumnal in the next few weeks,maybe by parents weekend time.Late August will be hot,maybe humid.Nights may be a little cooler though.
Kathiep
you put the proper wording on the process when you called it "the final piece of the puzzle". I think it does help the parents and the kids to have that seperation ritual of move in and certainly helps a parent visualize their kids living/learning situation later on.</p>
<p>Well I am not a parent but I guess everyone should be fine. I am saying this probably because I have been doing things alone since an early age. As it is I am an international student my parents will have problems paying for my ticket forget paying for an extra ticket! :o</p>
<p>This is not all about kids competency or past experience. My daughter moved herself in because that was the only way we could do it. She continued to move herself in and out alone for her college stint except for last fall when she and I drove her car out to St. Louis so she could move into an apartment for student teaching. My son has traveled by himself many times and driven for a few long trips alone. In fact, he drove himself the 6 hours to college for an outdoor pre-orientation the week before official move in day when we arrived with the rest of his stuff. His stuff was mostly electrical, not clothes and furniture. So, yes he could have moved himself in as his sister did. But having us there was easier. I'm not sure of the point of moving oneself in alone if it's easier and enjoyable to bring along the 'rents. We certainly didn't need our son to prove that he could handle things by himself. We knew that.</p>
<p>I didn't feel guilty for missing our daughters move in but I did feel badly because I couldn't help and I knew that there were other parents helping her instead of us. If you can't move your student in or they are adament that they don't want you there, that's fine, but it's also okay to look forward to move in day and being there to lend a hand and give a hug.</p>
<p>I dont know ajayc..im a student who spent 3 summers at upstate ny sleepaway camp(upstate ny has similar weather to new england) the last summer i went i went the last session(august) and the leaves were already changing and i was going to sleep w/ sweatshirts on to keep me warm by the end of the first week so middle august that wouldve been</p>
<p>
[quote]
"never under-estimate the value of a parent with a rental car and a credit card when you're moving in somewhere".
[/quote]
</p>
<p>This, basically, is why I'm going with my daughter. I do not need to see the campus (I went to the same college, and I have visited the place twice with my daughter in the last two years). I do not need the parent orientation sessions (I heard the same stuff at my son's orientation at a different college three years ago.) I am not prone to expressions of sentiment, and neither is my daughter. But my car, my time, my credit card, and my ability to rent a motel room are extremely useful assets. They give her a flexibility that she may need at move-in and an easy way to deal with what might otherwise be very time-consuming problems (such as, for example, the possible need to buy a floor lamp -- the housing people have been unable to tell us whether her particular room has adequate lighting).</p>
<p>Cathymee - thanks for the NE weather update. We won't be headed there until mid-Sept. I'm hoping a few leaves will be turning by then. I realize it won't be the full color extravaganza, but hopefully a few hints of color and not too hot. Parent's weekend isn't until May for some reason.</p>
<p>Last Sept, I flew to college with my daughter....but it was also orientation for her and parents. This year, DH will drive her to the airport on his way to work. She'll travel by herself and be met at the other end by some friends.</p>
<p>Thumper, what a difference a year makes! My sophomore son moved himself out last year and will move himself in this year. I remember my daughters sophomore year as well. In August we asked her how she was getting herself back. :)</p>
<p>Yep, we put Older Son on a Chicago - Boston flight, and we took a different flight back overseas. This worked well for us, as I know that OS would have avoided like the plague any emotional-mom scene in or near the dorm!</p>
<p>Earlier in the summer we rented a storage space near his dorm and sent a shipment there, and shopped at Costco for dry goods, etc. The storage facility had a hand-truck he used to get his stuff in his room, and there were loads of dorm-mates around who helped out.</p>
<p>I had a 12 year old car (or older, can't remember). I packed myself up, put it in the car, and drove to school (probably 1.5-2 hours at the pace my car drove). I unloaded, parked my car in the student lot, and unpacked (not hard because I didn't have much to unpack). I don't remember this as a problem. In contrast, my parents drove my sisters to and from college and did so when they went to law or grad school and even when one moved apartments in NYC. I wouldn't have wanted this and never asked for it. My sisters remained a lot more dependent upon my parents. Not clear which is better or worse, but I don't think not having parents around is a big deal. Now, as a parent, I'd love to accompany my kids when they go to college, though I think if you have to choose, parents weekend is a better time to go.</p>
<p>Shawbridge, you had a car. Did your sisters? I didn't. In fact I think I was allowed to use the family car about 5 times from the day I got my license until I got married and moved out. My younger brother had one from the day he got his license - it just happened that my mom decided she needed a new one when he turned 16..... A different generation, different expectations about boys and girls.</p>
<p>Interesting question. I think I bought it for very little from my uncle but agreed to pay for its upkeep. Don't know if I paid for insurance (I doubt it). I don't think either of my sisters had a car. They were certainly allowed to drive the family car but couldn't have gone to school by themselves in the family car.</p>