Anyone want share the actual IV essays?

Colleges and Universities A-Z Stanford University
1

<p>Instead of just writing what we wrote about, anyone want to post their actual essays for us all to read? I find it more interesting when I can see HOW people wrote their essays rather than just reading a summary. :p </p>

<p>Anyway, here's mine to get us started. I applied as an American Studies major, so I wanted my essay to convey my intellectual interest in the subject. Tell me what you guys think; of course, there is nothing I can do about it now, but if it's bad and I get rejected, I'll at least have a better idea of why I was rejected! </p>

<p>~</p>

<p>It was a usual Friday night. My older brother, Matthew, and I had already gotten into an argument. But not the kind of argument that ends with one sibling yelling, "He started it!" No, not even an argument by regular definition. It was a debate. Yes, there's the word. Debate.</p>

<p>"Media doesn't just reflect society. It creates it," I said. "People see what they see on movies and TV and conform to the standards set out by them."</p>

<p>Matthew shook his head. "How would the media decide what the standards will be for society as a whole?"</p>

<p>I opened my mouth and then shut it again, not knowing how to respond. "You've got a point." Matthew smiled victoriously, but I retorted: "But then where would everyday people get these ideas from? Would they suddenly decide one day: Hey, maybe sex should usurp baseball as the country's favorite pastime?"</p>

<p>We began to chuckle, but I continued, "Seriously, most people need something to tell them how others are behaving, how they 'should' be behaving. They need some example to guide their behavior."</p>

<p>"But why would the media choose to portray all the sex, violence, et cetera that it does? I don't think that'd be the example they would want people to follow."</p>

<p>"They know it sells. Maybe it's human nature. Maybe people would have always loved to see sex and violence and all that, but they just didn't have the opportunity until people in the media made it acceptable?"</p>

<p>"So then you think it's human nature. Not the media?"</p>

<p>"Well, I don't know. It just seems like a vicious cycle..."</p>

<p>It was a usual Friday night. While many of my peers were partying and relaxing, my mind was spinning with ideas of philosophy and sociology and unanswered questions. Yep, Friday night was always my favorite night of the week.</p>

2

<p>it is a good essay,</p>

3

<p>i really enjoyed the essay. as an outside reader, let me tell you one thing that could have been fixed. I am like you and enjoy philosophical discussion, however you put down your peers in your final sentence. </p>

<p>“While many of my peers were partying and relaxing” </p>

<p>That line right there makes it sound as though you are better than those people. I assume that colleges would take that as arrogance and mark you down for it (even though it may be better than partying)</p>

<p>Overall, interesting essay. Did you actually talk like the way you worded your essay? I don’t often find myself using the word “usurp.”</p>

4

<p>Yeah, I guess they could see it that way, but that’s not what my intent was. I don’t think it sounds like I’m better than them. I just enjoy different activities and they are very different than the activities most of my peers enjoy, which is just highlighting the uniqueness of my interests (IMO). Most teenagers don’t care much about philosophy, sociology, et cetera; it’s just a fact that those are fairly unique interests among our age group. </p>

<p>And yeah, I talk that way in real life too. XD</p>

<p>Thanks for your feedback! I’m glad you enjoyed it. Are you going to post yours? We need more people posting already!! :)</p>

5

<p>i liked it also. I wish i was there during this debate because i have some ideas on the subject. I believe that the media does not dictate what we should do, but rather what we want to do; it is a reflection of our desires as a society. Burger King advertises a juicy Whopper because people, in genral, like fatty foods. If they advertised a rat sandwhich because it is cheaper for them to make, I doubt that they would have the same success because it is a social stigma to eat animals like rats.</p>

6

<p>I’ll wait until after I get my decision to post mine :)</p>

7

<p>I will wait for my decision too.</p>

8

<p>I want someone to read mine! But Im a little nervous. Anyone want to swap? Pm me!</p>

9

<p>hey, there’s nothing wrong with “partying and relaxing.”
all work and no play makes eiffel a dull boy… ahaha
i like the debate dates with your brother though, thats sweet</p>

10

<p>I’ll post my personal statement here if anyone would like to give comments on it.</p>

<p>My toes just barely hung over the edge, gripping the diving board. What am I doing? At first my mind went blank, then everything rushed back to me. I was at the world-famous Rick’s Caf</p>

11

<p>^I really like how you connected the opening and ending. Nicely done. Only thing I would have changed was to put “selective” instead of “prestigious.” Maybe it’s just me, but I’d stay away from mentioning prestige in any part of your application, whether it be the essays or the interviews. I feel like it’s better to just act like that aspect of the school doesn’t exist.</p>

12

<p>Yea your right. darn it. Though a minor adjustment, I see that it could make a big difference. What the heck I will add my other essays if anyone feels like reading them haha. That is what this is for!</p>

<p>BTW: With my first essay I took a BIG risk too be ‘original’…I’m kind of starting to think it was a bad idea but OH WELL its too late now! haha.</p>

<ol>
<li> Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.</li>
</ol>

<p>I stood by and watched as she flung herself into the air from at least 30 ft. up. As she hit the ground, her bones crunched and I had to look away. Of course, I couldn’t do anything, since she was on TV. Still, I felt confused as to why I was watching a suicide so graphic. No sooner had I reached for the remote when the girl, Claire, began to get up. How was this possible?! I watched in awe as she pushed her bones back in place and her wounds began to heal. This first episode of Heroes rekindled my intrigue and interest in Biology. The premise of the show explores genetics, suggesting it’s possible for a mutation in human DNA to allow for “superpowers” like regeneration, since Salamanders do already have this capacity. In the show, Claire has this ability. Though fictional, the show has made me more curious about genetics, human possibility, and evolution. What will humans look like in a million years if we still even exist? I find myself engulfed in thought whenever these topics come up; my friends and I often have heated debates over the possibilities of stem cell research. Still yet, Heroes stimulates my creativity and enthusiasm for learning in a way I didn’t think possible, and inspires me to write stories of my own - a passion I’ve had since I was young scribbling mini stories on the backs of envelopes and napkins. The intricate plots and interwoven story lines push me to improve and expand my writing and thinking. Could I one day be a writer for a hit TV show? With my potential, the possibilities seem endless. To say the least, Heroes has given me numerous blossoming career paths I may pursue, and specific hobbies to explore, hopefully at Stanford. Still, the unchanging message of the series inspires me most of all: superpowers or not, everyone can be a hero.</p>

<ol>
<li> Virtually all of Stanford’s undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate – and us – get to know you better.</li>
</ol>

<p>For 7 years, I attended Faith Christian Academy, an all African American private school. Though I cherished the time I spent at FCA and the friends I made, in many ways the school restricted me to being one-dimensional. In school, we were not exposed to other religions or cultures, we even learned creationism – a generally obsolete theory disputing evolution. I can confidently say I have come a long way since FCA and I have learned to appreciate, cherish, and enjoy other cultures and religions. All of my friends are not African American, nor are they all Christian. Instead of only associating myself with people like me, I have learned to allow myself to gravitate towards friends naturally, then learn about and accept our differences. This was a necessary skill for my trip to Spain. Never before had I lived in an entirely new country with different customs and beliefs, but this trip was one of the best experiences of my life. To this day I still enjoy watching movies in Spanish on my free time. I am not only accepting of other religions and cultures, but I am interested in learning about customs unlike my own. I suppose I am open and accepting to others in the hopes that they will, in return, be accepting and open to my unique personality. For example, I randomly wake up in the middle of the night if I come up with a great idea for a paper or short story. I frequently watch cartoons like Spongebob on Saturday mornings and I enjoy classical music that I play on the piano as much as I enjoy listening to Michael Jackson, Lil’ Wayne, and Beyonce. In the hopes to find a friend who also love Spanish, I frequently answer questions in Spanish, even if no one around speaks the language. My dad has convinced himself that I talk to myself. Each time he brings this up I calmly explain that I am only ‘thinking out loud’ and have never held a conversation with myself. My love of jokes and laughing I learned from my brother and I believe it is truly contagious. This characteristic is useful when I play sports. Though I have tried several like Lacrosse and Basketball, I usually play for fun and have never been considered a star athlete. In my journey to learn about diversity, I believe I have become a diverse person myself.</p>

<ol>
<li> Tell us what makes Stanford a good place for you.</li>
</ol>

<p>As the school day flew by, I was grateful to end the day in Chemistry class, where my vivacious instructor often uses scientific demonstrations to teach her lesson. Today we were discussing fire and its properties. My ears perked up immediately because of my interest in pyrotechnics. She began demonstrating how carbon dioxide extinguishes a flame, oxygen fuels a flame, and hydrogen is flammable. The small amount of hydrogen produced in her chemical reaction immediately burst into flames when exposed to the match, producing a ‘pop’, and making my eyes light up. As my mind wandered on the drive home, I continued to think of how important the environment is to a flame. With college on the horizon, I understand the flame and its search for the perfect environment. In my own search for the perfect environment, I have applied to a select number of universities, all of which I believe will be a ‘good’ environment where I can burn with creativity, like a flame in oxygen. However, only one college on my list has the capacity to transform the flame inside of me into a great fire, shining brightly. Stanford is my perfect hydrogen environment. When I stepped foot on Palm Drive for the first time during my two month summer college experience, I immediately felt the creative energy flowing through its atmosphere, that same energy that helped spark the creation of Google. Riding my bike along the main quad on the way to my classes, I truly learned what it is like to be a Stanford student, and I know if given the opportunity to thrive in this environment I would be able to reach my full potential as a bright and shining star.</p>

13

<p>I am a member of an online community called the New Polar Order. On our website there is a debate forum for current events. While I enjoyed posting there in the past once in awhile, one particular debate really stood out in my ability to lead my side and counter the opposition at every point. This was the debate named “Government Health Care: Do you really want it?” I participated on the side of the leftists, which compromised mainly of young people, while the conservatives were in their 50s. As my opposites clearly had more experience and firsthand knowledge of the past half century, they were better prepared to field their argument on the most important issue of our time. However, I and the leftists were armed with the vigor to succeed by using our logic and rationale.</p>

<p>This debate was especially engaging for me since it took more than raw knowledge and facts to win. I had to use my intellect to be able to find every flaw in the counter arguments so that I could tear them apart without room for question. I did this by thinking of every reason they may have for believing their points and attacking the core of their ideas. I also anticipated their responses and crafted my prose to lock out any room for discussion. While it was not perfect every time, I was successful in forcing the conservatives into resorting to the use of the same argument over and over. The debate recently concluded with the left having the final word, leaving our opponents with nothing left to say.</p>

<hr>

<p>There are quite a few aspects about me that are significantly different than other people, which would be useful to a future roommate.</p>

<p>I understand there are also many people compulsive about neatness or tidying up. I am not one of them. I like my belongings in a mess, but a carefully memorized mess. What may look like chaos to an outsider is perfect organization to me. I have a tendency to snap at anyone who attempts to disrupt how I keep my things arranged. For example, I have had my desk look exactly the same for three years now. While it has been changed in the past, I immediately commence rearranging it to the way it always is.</p>

<p>Besides this, there is nothing else to worry about while living with me, besides other, but more run of the mill, quirks such as wanting to be alone from time to time. On a more personality based note, I’d say the main thing Stanford and my future roommate should know is when I stick to something, I won’t let go until the job is done. Now this can apply to any aspect of life, being a goal or just a hobby, but I most commonly use it for my role as leader on campus. When I first entered the spotlight I was nobody, but I emerged as one of the most, if the most, prominent figures in student politics. While many may prescribe this as motivation driven, primarily to get into college, I don’t. I made a commitment when I ran for ASB President to help the students gain relevance and I did not let it go. </p>

<hr>

<p>As stated in the previous prompt, Stanford has virtually all students on campus. This creates a strong community for everyone to be a part of and contribute directly to. I grew up in a similar strong community both at home and at school. There has been little change in residency on my small one block cul-de-sac and my 1-8 school was a small private school where everyone knew each other. Both of these situations led me to enjoy a community where there is always a familiar face.</p>

<p>To build on that, I am very interested in becoming involved in student politics at Stanford and later real world politics. Stanford will help make this interest more relevant on campus because of the strong community, which gives me an even greater prerogative to work for the welfare of the students. Yes, while I undoubtedly will work towards the betterment of those not in my community, the fact that there exists such a strong community is icing on the cake. I will work for the students no matter the circumstances, but a community where I am better in touch with the entire student body is ideal and available at Stanford.</p>

<p>Furthermore, it’s clear that Stanford has an excellent reputation in teaching law. All people who pursue a career need a basic knowledge of the general field they are in. Law is the second most important basic for politics, the first being one’s constituents. Having a firm foundation in law will aid me greatly in the execution of the will of my future constituents.</p>