<p>Hello! I'm a high school senior living in a small town in California, some ways away from Berkeley, where four of my classmates were accepted but only one plans to attend. I was rejected, but hold high hopes, comparing my profile to theirs, that I may find success through my appeal. I would greatly appreciate any and all criticism on my appeal. I did not include any of this information on my application (besides my father's passing), as I didn't believe it to be worthwhile at the time, but have since been convinced otherwise by more than just the rejection. I am still working on getting my Letter of Recommendation. Please, do not be kind if honesty does not allow for it.</p>
<p>Overall GPA, weighted: 3.52
Unweighted: 3.27
(Both explained in the appeal)
Rank: 50/346 (Top 15%, at least)
SAT: 1980 (CR 640, Math 680, Writing 660)</p>
<p>"To whom it may concern:</p>
<p>I must firstly apologize for any way I may imply a diminishing of the credibility, standards, merit, or collective mindset of your university. Though I fully respect the decision that was made, and thank those who worked devotedly to make it, I must take my place with the thousands of hopefuls in this pile of appeals. As you do, I will hold your process as well to the highest regard, and with the upmost respect, as I do with the entire University itself, and the city of Berkeley.</p>
<p>Nearly five years ago, on June 21st, 2009, the date of both my mother’s birthday and Father’s Day, my father passed away of a heart attack, at 51. From this point on, my mother was forced to take over his labor-intensive business with no experience. At 13 years old, I was immediately forced to become as much of a man as I could at that point. I realized, having spent 6th and 7th grade on independent study per my mother’s wishes, I was learning nothing, and throwing away my father’s American dream. I made the switch to public school for 8th grade, and was completely lost, having no real background.</p>
<p>Without any prior basis, academically or athletically, my performance in high school was not what it could have been. Given my entire true middle school education in 8th grade, I essentially started from scratch my freshman year, and effectively and consistently accumulated a 3.5 GPA throughout my freshman and sophomore years. I was barred from playing sports due to my lack of health insurance and means of acquiring any, as my mother refused to pay for it; I was only able to play tennis my sophomore year through a technicality, and football two summers, but not a regular season.</p>
<p>Since my father’s passing, my mother and I constantly argued. In my junior year, the animosity reached a boiling point, to where she constantly threatened to kick me out of the house, and tore me from my studies to argue, leaving me emotionally devastated, and alone. I would be kept up until late at night, and, having to ride my bike to school every morning, rain or shine, on these occasions I would normally completely miss my 7AM 0-period AVID class, leading to my only D. My other grades suffered from that turmoil as well, though not as harshly. Ultimately, after a much calmer, full family discussion, she finally took our words to heart and we hers. My family situation had finally come to a better point; I was able to achieve a 4.17 GPA my second semester of junior year, and self-study some Calculus and Physics before taking the classes my senior year. Still, though, I could not play sports, nor dedicate myself to any clubs per my mother’s wishes, besides drama.</p>
<p>During the first semester of junior year, my mother struggled greatly with heart problems, and continues to suffer from them to this day. She, luckily having been put on her boyfriend’s health insurance plan, was able to receive treatment; many times I missed school to see her with my older brother, especially my 8th period after-school AP Chemistry class. Due to her missing work so much, we had to cut expenses, such as our home internet connection, leaving me without any reliable way of accessing 95% of that AP Chemistry course on Blackboard. My other grades suffered from excessive absences, my first semester GPA being 3.83, and continue to as I give support to my mother in her time of need. She is now thankfully recovering, and is spending much more time at home.</p>
<p>I am proud of what I have accomplished given my restraints, and whole heartedly believe I will be a constructive, active, and worthwhile student at UC Berkeley. I will fully respect your ultimate decision; I only plead that you allow me to pursue my dream at your dignified university.</p>
<p>Thank you."</p>
<p>I'm completely unsure of my last paragraph, and of course with anything in the rest that must be reworked, added, or scrapped. Any parts that need more elaboration, while others less? Total scrap? Any contribution is greatly appreciated!</p>
<p>PS: To clarify, I'm typing this from a friend's computer. Wrote most of the appeal itself initially on paper, then transferred it over.</p>