@maybeboardingmom
I got the vibe from the first day I visited. It was confirmed because my oldest child went there. I don’t mean to imply at all that it’s full of meanies but nice just wasn’t a top priority for anyone we encountered. Kid did have warm teachers and faculty and a few great friends but it’s very “business-like prestigious” as its main vibe (to me).
And the whole point was that on this board it does not have the reputation as one of the “warm and fuzzy” boarding schools that @Golfgr8 was referencing.
Just to add more vodka to the martini… I believe several schools were more outwardly “warm and fuzzy” before COVID. Restrictions have cancelled many events and traditions that foster a greater sense of community. Each school has its unique traditions that bring students together. Only the current Seniors remember the many fun spring events/traditions at our school that engaged our community.
We found that students who can grow their passions at their school, find their friends and/or supportive groups. Be honest with yourself about your expectations as a parent and, likewise, encourage your student to honestly examine their expectations about boarding school.
Correct. Our experience has been that people are nice. You apparently felt differently. That’s fine and why I carefully said I wasn’t discounting anyone else’s experience. I think hearing different perspectives is a good thing. I’m not trying to tell anyone that you’re wrong.
One thing I will say is that the Andover folks certainly were nice and gracious in all of my family’s dealings with them, if not always responsive at the upper levels. The Andover eSummer administrator and faculty were wonderful; the admissions interviewer was certainly very kind; the admissions administrative assistant was responsive and kind; the varsity basketball coach was super–the only varsity coach of a GLADCHEMS to respond personally to my child via email. We ended up choosing a different school for a whole host of reasons, but not because Andover wasn’t nice to us. They were.
I remember tagging along with my parents for my brother’s revisit days. Slept through the speeches and was thoroughly disappointed with the amount of “adult food” during lunches.
I didn’t read all the responses but my daughter attends NMH and it’s progressive and accepting. She has been an advocate her entire life and she would never stand for mistreatment of any student – there are like minds there, I believe.
The name of this thread “are prep school students homophobic” has been bothering me. It’s like asking are public school students homophobic? Or are Americans homophobic? You can’t generalize like that. My daughter has found the students at her BS to be In General, more accepting of people as unique individuals and more open to other peoples opinions, thoughts, and ideas and more supportive than the people at her public high school.
Agree with @AnonMomof2 . Our kiddo’s experience at school has been that students are respectful of each other and more embracing of a each other as individuals compared to kids back home at the local school. There is an emphasis on acceptance, respect, & community building. Not just for students who are LGBTQ, but for everyone. IMO, most BS’s self select for intelligent students who can (or willing to) live away from home in a community.
It works both ways. Are there kids who don’t desire, feel comfortable, or seek to be part of a greater community? Sure. For that student, there is a choice of schools and they should look for a school that fits their needs/desires.
There are differences in boarding schools @ their emphasis on and in the ways they build their community in totality, versus indentity-specific community building. So, might be helpful to examine what you and/or your student value, desire, expect and need from a boarding school.
There are some boarding schools, for example, that offer specific dorms for students who might be transitioning. Also, there are some schools that offer unique living options for uppers with common lifestyle needs or desires.
Regarding the actual topic, according to my child the answer is “NO” in virtually all cases. The one prejudice my child says exists in BS refers to height. Short boys are teased by a few folks, apparently.
It’s hard for me to imagine academically focused high schools that are more LGBT-friendly than the majority of the prep schools discussed on these boards, and I say that as a California parent of an LGBT prep school grad. My kiddo’s school had an all-gender dorm, a center for gender studies, policies about pronoun usage, strong faculty advocates, and a strong culture of acceptance from students and teachers.
Of course, no school faculty, administration, or student body will be unanimous in their personal views, and certainly my kiddo had grievances about individuals or individual circumstances, but at no time did any of us think that we were likely to find a better overall environment insofar as being LGBT is concerned. At home, we spoke often about the welcoming environment, and we counted ourselves lucky.
As I noted earlier in this thread (repeating for newbies), there has only been one experience we had with homophobic slurs being used - it was on the campus of another school and during an athletic event. Their boys’ team was hurling homophobic, sexist, and body shaming slurs at girls. I will say that it has been our experience that there still is sexism at some schools more than homophobia.
I believe several schools were more outwardly “warm and fuzzy” before COVID. Restrictions have cancelled many events and traditions that foster a greater sense of community. Each school has its unique traditions that bring students together. Only the current Seniors remember the many fun spring events/traditions at our school that engaged our community.
