<p>In our area, the top two or three music kids all have parents who have pulled them out of school entirely and they’re either homeschooled or go to school online in order to be able to practice 6 hours a day, they fly to NY on the weekend to study at Julliard, the music camp costs six thousand dollars, and there’s one whose parents keep holding her back so that she’s now 19 and apparently won’t graduate from “high school” until she’s twenty – all for the sake of college admissions. Just hope it’s worth it – for them.</p>
<p>^Wow! And my child is itching to get out of my orbit! I need to remind her, AGAIN, how good she has it.</p>
<p>This is a great article on the race for overachievement:</p>
<p><a href=“One Percent Education - The New York Times”>One Percent Education - The New York Times;
<p>Question is, what can be done to rectify the problem? Are we all going to put our kids in the race anyway, because we see no alternative?</p>
<p>I was certainly obsessed, sometimes too much so, but I tried hard to channel that into helping my D find a great fit for her, and let go of the name-brand issue. And now that she’s a freshman, I’m grateful for that obsession, because I really did help her find the perfect home. Now that all that anxiety is gone, and both my kids are happy and working hard and getting good educations, I’m wallowing in the absurdity of it all.</p>
<p>Yes, I am obsessed. The world is quite different than the one in which we grew up. In my small town, a middle class young person of my generation who didn’t go to college, or to a very good college, could nonetheless earn a decent wage at one of the textile factories, one of the meat packing plants or dairies, as a bank teller, or working at one of many thriving mom and pop stores downtown. This is no longer the case. In my state today, you can’t actually live on minimum wage or even a bit more than minimum wage. As people realized the economy was changing, more and more students started attending college to earn the required BA or BS. Community colleges popped up to fill the gap for the students with less money or insufficient academic preparation.</p>
<p>Before long, too many people had bachelor’s degrees, so now master’s and PhD’s are needed when 4 years of university had been enough–unless those 4 years are done at HYPS and friends. Indeed, many of my son’s high school classmates found themselves jobless after graduating college. Some are unemployed, and some are working at Starbucks. Others are going into debt to attend grad. school without really wanting to, in the hopes that an advanced degree will remedy their situation. Some of them went to mediocre state schools, and many failed to acquire the now essential career-related internships while still in high school and college. Silly children; they thought a summer job at Target was good enough to demonstrate work ethic. </p>
<p>An exaggeration? Somewhat. But I am definitely invested in this because I have to be. My parents are suffering financially because my father who never got a college education was put out of work in his 50’s by the flight of clothing manufacturing overseas. When he should have been at his peak earning potential, he reverted back to minimum wage and the night shift. We ourselves aren’t exactly on Easy Street. Our home is falling apart around us and we can’t afford to fix it. I want better for my kids.</p>
<p>What I see is that an elite college education allowed my son to obtain a well-paying job after graduation–a job that pays more than his father earns after 28 years in the work force. Thanks to his Ivy League degree, he didn’t have to invest money he didn’t have, to obtain a grad school degree that might not ever pay for itself or allow him to pay off his student loans. (Besides, our region doesn’t need more lawyers!) So yes, I was a little obsessed about D also getting into a good school. She did, and has already obtained some nice internships which put her well on her way to a more financially secure life than her parents have. We are not affluent enough to not care where our children attend college. It’s too important to their future.</p>
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<p>If you as a parent are on college confidential with more than 5 posts (and in general, even if you are on college confidential with an account) you are obsessed.</p>
<p>Funny thing is I know plenty of kids that went to schools in Oklahoma and Texas with starting salaries of >100K. Some were engineers, others were energy management (which doesn’t mean anything).</p>
<p>The sad truth is that an ivy league education or a top school education isn’t immune from job security. In the end, it’s hard work, regardless.</p>
<p>I am certainly obsessed. It has much more to do with trying to pay for 3 kids to attend colleges that will challenge them than it has to do with bragging rights.</p>
<p>I have read this entire thread, and find it interesting that some posters swear that they’re not obsessed, while others admit that they are, but have darn good excuses for their obsessions. </p>
<p>In case you are not certain whether you’re obsessed or not, you can take a moment to answer these five scientifically-tested questions: </p>
<ol>
<li><p>Can you assess whether a score of 2230 on the SAT is better, worse or the same as a 33 on the ACT?</p></li>
<li><p>Can you recite the U.S. News and World Reports top 25 list (although you doubt its legitimacy)?</p></li>
<li><p>Can you identify the following terms and abbreviations: LAC, BWRK, HYPSM, ECs, the Xiggi method, need blind, Twin XL?</p></li>
<li><p>Can you give accurate directions to Middlebury?</p></li>
<li><p>Do you know how to create alternate versions of the Common App?</p></li>
</ol>
<p>If you answered “yes” to four or more of the above, you are indeed obsessed. But there’s nothing wrong with that!</p>
<p>I couldn’t answer a single question!</p>
<p>Another reason I spend time on CC, besides the entertainment factor, is that our society has experienced an increase in the number of kids with autism and other learning difficulties. My youngest is on the spectrum and is doing well enough that college may be an option. I read about other parents’ college search for their neuro-atypical children since they are forging a path for us. Through missypie’s experience, I learned that I shouldn’t necessarily assume that smaller is better (which I would have otherswise assumed–more nurturing and everyone will know her name kind of thing), since larger state universities often offer far more services and support.</p>
<p>I learned a lot on CC-it was a great help and I know it will be a help for my HS freshman too. She did refuse my suggestion and prompts she start prepping for the SAT last year-she did tell me finally she was only in 8th grade! Yes I did get carried away. :)</p>
<p>I think the article which started this thread talked about being obsessed with the process-there is a big difference between working with your child to aid and assist them and crossing the line into obsession.</p>
<p>Choosing a college is a big decision and also carries certain financial implications for not only the student, but the parents as well. There is certainly nothing wrong in having the parents be involved in this process. Most families do not have unlimited financial resources available for college, so everyone needs to consider that when drawing up lists of potential colleges of interest. Parents most likely would also go on visits with their h.s. student to help narrow down the list of potentials.</p>
<p>As with most opinion related topics on here, it is virtually impossible to answer this question in generalities because each family is different. At the far ends of the spectrum, you might ask were the parents not involved enough in the college making decision? Obviously, there are probably some at that end of the spectrum as well.</p>
<p>I don’t know if I’d say I’m obsessed, but I’m certainly invested and somewhat freaked out by the cost and the complexity of being admitted into a good school. D has set her sites on an Ivy and that is wonderful, but H and I are trying to keep her feet on the ground. She certainly has the potential to be admitted, but we don’t have the money to bank roll such an endeavor.</p>
<p>After financial considerations, to a certain extent it is the balance is between how involved the student is in his/her own planning that tempers parent involvement and obsession. I have read here on cc that some parents (usually ones who have girls) indicate how little they were involved and sort of scold those of us who have been more involved. </p>
<p>The bottom line is that a student doesn’t know what they don’t know. The college application process has become very complicated. </p>
<p>They are not necessarily equipped to make some of these decisions and college has become too expensive to not have someone (usually the parent) keeping that part in mind while trying to find the best educational experience for the student.</p>