<p>I am still stuck with my roommate after telling the school that I would rescind my admission if they make me stay with her.</p>
<p>WOW!!! I can't believe they wouldn't work with you! In my opinion, that is an extenuating circumstance that could affect your life at school...they should be falling over themselves to help you!</p>
<p>I wonder if they would move HER out instead...why should you have to move?</p>
<p>fluppymc, my advice is that once her friend tries to move in with you, tell her "no." and if/when they ignore you, take it up with the RA.</p>
<p>My rooming assignment was a surprise. I asked for a quad but I got an 8-person suite. Crazy. But, my roommates seem really cool so it's all good.</p>
<p>yeah the school was like "well...she can't do that. Secretly tell the RA when you get there and they will watch for suspicious activity". My fear is that she lived on this floor last year and a lot of her friends decided to stay on that floor too. With my luck the RA will be her best friend.</p>
<p>Here's my advice:</p>
<p>They won't do anything before school starts because everything up to now can be construed as rumor and hearsay, and not cold hard fact/evidence.</p>
<p>Move in, settle down and then go find some friends and seriously be gone the entire first day. When you come back, if there is a guy sleeping there tell her you did not consent this (which is a rule) and that you are going to tell the RA. If she does nothing, tell the RA. Go through the whole process.. trust me, the RA's will help, they have free room and board on the line and their jobs/reputation at stake.</p>
<p>If the RA cannot swiftly diffuse the situation to a level where you feel safe and comfortable, go to the RD, the boss of the RAs. They will FOR SURE clear the situation up. It is there full time career and they are very professional (so I hear).</p>
<p>If the RD seriously can't help, as much as I'd hate to say it, I would have to say my Terps really f ucked up.</p>
<p>fluppymc, I am quite surprised to hear that your college/university won't do anything about your roommate situation, particularly since your father also complained. </p>
<p>Students, please do not hesitate to get your parents involved in situations such as this one. I know that you are supposed to be able to handle everything on your own (some might make it a point of pride to do so), but remember that an 18 y/o is no match for the college bureacracy. I'm not saying that parents should step in all the time, but in cases such as this I absolutely think it is appropriate. </p>
<p>What does your dad say now, since he knows the situation? You said earlier that he said he wouldn't allow you to go there if the situation is unresolved.</p>
<p>testudo - I just really hope this all works out because I was on the fence about going to maryland and this isn't exactly making me think I've made a good choice (I know this isn't really the school's choice since roommate's are randomly chosen for the most part, but it's just one more thing that probably wouldn't have happened had I chosen another school), it's just a problem that no freshman, or anyone for that matter, should have to deal with.</p>
<p>CTTC - My father was surprised they wouldn't do anything and asked me if I still wanted to go there and gave me the option of dropping the school. Although I am not happy with the situation, my parents have already spent a good amount of money for random college expenses and I would feel terrible having that all go to waste. Also I'm not letting one person (roommate) get in the way of my 4-year education at a pretty good school (I'm going for finance, so I'd rather go to a ranked business school in hopes of finding jobs/internships, I know this would be near impossible to do if I switched over to county college since I don't live right next door to DC, NYC, or any other major city besides Philly).</p>
<p>I think the reason your school hasn't done anything yet is simply because it hasn't happened yet. From their point of view you could be some crazy person who is trying to have a different roommate. So it has to happen before action can occur. Get to school, and if it happens have the RA monitor the activity, simple as that.</p>
<p>having a male in your room you do not know,, besides being tacky, is not safe....Are your parents going with you to set up...if so, I would suggest they hang around until roommate shows up, so she and he can see them....also, make sure you have a journal or notes of all that was said, who you and dad talked to, etc., because if indeed this jerk moves in with you, you want to show that you tried to deal with it and were blown off</p>
<p>at a minimum, they could have sent the roommmate a generic letter reminding her about the rules</p>
<p>dcfca - I totally understand, that was my worry when I sent the complaint haha</p>
<p>citygirlsmom - My parents are coming with me, but freshman move in a day before everyone else. So either they won't see her, or she said if I wanted her to she would come help me move the furniture when I get there (she lives close, but I don't know if she'll really want to come to the dorm at 8 am just to move a bed and drive back home).</p>
<p>hmmm, well, get that journal all ready, and since you are there before her, get to know the RA, etc...no need to say anything YET to her, but having chatted, with her, and the other people on your floor, being rational, friendly, etc, you have laid the groudwork IF the issue of the extra roommate does happen...if the first time you meet the RA, etc is to "complain" no matter how justified or valid, can be uncomfortable, so even having an extra day to get to know other people, take FULL advantage of that</p>
<p>gooD luck, and it will work out, the school has no choice but to take care of it if this guy stays in your room without your permission...what about the other girls on the floor, bet some of them don't necessarily want a guy roommate if its a single sex floor</p>
<p>
[quote]
I don't know what happened.</p>
<p>I am somehow rooming with a sophomore. who has just informed me that her friend (who is a boy!) didn't get housing so he will be living in our room. illegally. because my goodness you just cannot do that.</p>
<p>help!
[/quote]
They can't do that to you. </p>
<p>At the start of the school year, in most schools, the RA gets everyone together and they go over the roomate rules. You settle on a "contract" of behavior. Call your school and see if they do something like that, I'm guessing they do. In yours be sure to specify things like friends of your roomate are not allowed in the room when the roomate is not there, rules about sleepovers, etc.</p>
<p>What your roomate is intending, IMHO, is not only unethical but a breach of her contract with the dorm. It isn't fair for this to be happening to you as a new frosh, my guess is you were hoping for a friendly experience, but we have to take what life hands us and go from there. It might be worth investing a hour into an attorney's time to find out where you stand legally. My suspicion is that what they are planning would constitute trespass. If the school is on your side the BF could be declared persona-non-grata in the dorms if they actually attempt this, and the schools could threaten to have him arrested if he enters the residence and actually do so if he does. There's restraining orders and all that stuff, too. </p>
<p>This is too much for a frosh to handle on her own. My advice is this: have your parents talk to an attorney, then based on what they know call and rationally (eg. without yelling and screaming) explain to the school the situation and what they intend to do about it if the school allows the BF in the room.</p>
<p>Oh my gosh...I really don't see the need in getting an attorney. I'm sure the school has clear rules written out about this type of situation, so that would be completely pointless.</p>
<p>Just go to your RA if they actually follow through with their plan of him staying there. The RA should handle it, but if she doesn't go talk to housing. </p>
<p>Don't make a huge deal out of it by getting an attorney or something equally as "point and laugh" worthy.</p>
<p>
[quote]
My father was surprised they wouldn't do anything and asked me if I still wanted to go there and gave me the option of dropping the school.
[/quote]
So your father has softened his stance? You originally wrote, "My father said he would pull me from the school if they make me room with her".</p>
<p>So what's the update? When do you move in?</p>
<p>BTW, I was surprised that a mother (as mentioned on the Parent Forum) got her dd's dorm changed because the mother didn't like the odor. It seems as if a dorm switch could be made in this case!</p>
<p>fluppymc, there's a RA unit/floor meeting at 3:30 on move in day, so that's a great chance to meet your RA and talk in private about the situation afterward.</p>
<p>
[quote]
BTW, I was surprised that a mother (as mentioned on the Parent Forum) got her dd's dorm changed because the mother didn't like the odor. It seems as if a dorm switch could be made in this case!
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Haha, my friend who moved in yesterday said her mom had the same problem. Her solution, however, was to get the whole family on their hands and knees scrubbing the room down with ammonia.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the advice so far! But I don't think I'll go as far as getting an attorney, since it hasn't happened yet and hopefully since I told her I wasn't comfortable with it it just won't happen. Yes we do have to make contracts and having the "her friends can't be there when she is not" is a good idea. I think when I told her I didn't want him living there, she got the impression I didn't want him in our room ever, and that's not what I meant. He can be there to visit her, or even sleep over occassionally (I know it's college and sometimes people do sleep over), but I just don't want him LIVING with us.</p>
<p>oh and I move in Sunday</p>
<p>^ Any updates now that you're moved in?</p>
<p>Yes, I'd like to read an update, too!</p>