<p>Just wanted to get a quick survey! I'm going to college next year, and I was a little taken aback. In passing, my dad said he expected me to eventually repay him for whatever portion of my college costs he covered. He said his contribution would be "the best student loans I ever got." Is this "normal"? Do you, or anyone you know, expect for your children to pay you back down the road? I have never heard of this before. Thanks!</p>
<p>I never heard that before</p>
<p>Sent from my SCH-I510 using CC App</p>
<p>Say THANK YOU…and hope that you can someday help your parents if they need the financial help.</p>
<p>To answer your question…no, we are not having our kids repay us for college costs.</p>
<p>I had a friend in college with that expectation. I don’t hear of it often, but it is a huge chunk of money that is for your benefit. I don’t think it’s unreasonable, especially if they don’t have a lot.</p>
<p>We are absolutely not requiring our kids to repay us for the cost of their education. We view paying for college as an obligation if we can afford to do so. Not every family views this the same way, however. So even if you get a resounding NO from the participants here, it doesn’t really impact your own situation. Sorry.</p>
<p>It’s good for you & your folks to have a clear understanding of what is expected of YOU in return for having help with paying college expenses. That MAY affect what choices you make, to keep costs down if you are expected to repay it. Find out the projected timeline when your folks are expecting repayment and specifically WHAT is expected to be repaid, with or without interest, what happens if the timeline isn’t met, and whatever details are available so you can have as clear an understanding as possible.</p>
<p>Our kids & we don’t have a similar agreement or arrangement, but it IS a significant amount of money that is paid for college educations.</p>
<p>One way of conserving funds is commuting & going to CC & then transferring for final 2 years at a in-state U. Good luck!</p>
<p>I do have a friend who has her adult kids (who she helped fund their college degrees), who charges the kids rent when they come back to live with her. She saves the rent in a separate account that she gives them when they move out, hoping they will use it toward acquiring a home of their own.</p>
<p>I’ve been known to tell my son that I’ll be moving in with him when he’s rich and famous, but I’m kidding. When he’s rich and famous I want him to buy me a house.:)</p>
<p>Could your Dad be kidding? </p>
<p>I think you’d better sit your Dad down and ask him if he’s serious. You need to know so you can make some good economic choices for yourself. I’d of shocked that he would drop this on you “in passing” if it’s the real deal.</p>
<p>No. I figure if I educate them, they’ll be far less likely to wind up back living at my house. If I educate them, they might be more willing to help me in my old age if I need it (and if my as yet hypothetical son-in-laws don’t consider me a burdensome mother-in-law). </p>
<p>But, when I graduated from college myself, way back in the 80s, I was expected to repay my dad for the car he bought me and all the repairs (parts only as he did the labor himself). It was a zero interest loan. Not bad. </p>
<p>I think it’s good you know what is expected. It will help you make a better choice when your offers are all in.</p>
<p>I’m positive that my dad is serious - which surprised me, because we’re pretty well off. My parents are very frugal though, so I guess I should have seen this coming. I’m not going to be pursuing a very lucrative career, so the idea of having to repay my parents on top of my own major contribution is rather daunting. They’ve already made it clear I won’t have a car at college, and I currently pay insurance on the car I share with my siblings. </p>
<p>Reimbursement isn’t expected of anyone else I know either. In fact, my friend’s parents are paying for all of his costs at U Penn! I don’t really know what to make of my situation.</p>
<p>No - I will NOT be making my two daughters pay me back for their college education … I find that to be absurd and I’m sorry to hear your parents are “playing” that game.</p>
<p>Personally, I would see if you could fund it yourself. Junior college first for two years while working and saving and then student loans at an in-state college for the final two years (also while working). It might take you 5-6 years to finish - and you’ll be living at home -but your parents can’t hang their student loan over your head later in life (which they might if they are making you repay them). </p>
<p>Good luck!!</p>
<p>*I’m not going to be pursuing a very lucrative career, so the idea of having to repay my parents on top of my own major contribution is rather daunting. *</p>
<p>This seems odd to me. </p>
<p>Do your parents have any kind of expectation that you should go to a pricey school?
If so, then I would rethink that. I would go as cheap as possible then.</p>
<p>Do you have the stats to apply to schools that would give you large merit?</p>
<p>What career are you considering?</p>
<p>Edited to add.</p>
<p>I’m retracting my above statements.</p>
<p>I looked at your past posts and it reminded me of your situation. You want your parents to pay for OOS publics when you have an instate option.</p>
<p>Your parents are right…they shouldn’t be paying for OOS Clemson or Auburn or wherever for Architecture when you have instate options that are fine.</p>
<p>Parents aren’t expected to waste money unnecessarily.</p>
<p>If you think your dad is being serious–and he may well be, if he is nearing retirement and will be using funds needed for retirement to help fund your education–sit down together for a non-acrimonious discussion and have him spell out his expectations. The economy has been cruel to a lot of families’ plans. </p>
<p>Then consider his expectations in making your plans.</p>
<p>Not all families consider their obligations in the same light…values differ. </p>
<p>And some families might want to do one thing, but realistically have to do something else. Especially if they have investments or employment that have been negatively impacted by the economy, are helping other family members, have more than one child who will be in college, are feeling that their job is not secure, are nearing retirement…</p>
<p>30 years ago, I knew someone who was required to work every weekend for his father in exchange for paying tuition, room and board. He was required to be home every weekend during the school year to work for his father. He was allowed to work at another job over the summers for his spending money. FWIw, as soon as he graduated he stopped speaking to his parents and their relationship never got any better years later.</p>
<p>You have very good instate choices with good merit. Your dad is right not to want to waste money just so you can go to an OOS public.</p>
<p>your reason for not wanting to go instate is not sufficient. Your reason is that you don’t want to go to the same college that your high school classmates are going to (and who you think didn’t work hard enough in high school.)</p>
<p>Those “slackers” aren’t going to be in your major (or won’t be there for long). And, guess what, those other OOS publics are going to have some slackers from their own instate high schools.</p>
<p>Yes I’ve heard of it, as well as its corollary, “you’re on your own.” No I am not making my kids repay me for tuition and room/board.</p>
<p>Absolutely not! My parents did not place such a burden on me,their parents did not place such a burden on them and I will not place such a burden on my children. I view paying for a college education as one of my obligations as a parent. However, I also expect my children to be respectful and work hard in school. I expect them to succeed and finish college in a timely manner. Professional school is a different matter as most graduate school give stipends and assistantships However, my family is very strong about inter-generational obligations. My parents cared for their parents in their final days,I did the same for my mother and I expect that my children will do the same for me. </p>
<p>Each family is different. My in-laws refused to pay for their children’s college education and out of 8 children only my husband and one sister completed college and went to professional school. In fact they charged room and board after the kids turned 18. Every in-law who didn’t finish is resentful about the lack of parental support and made sure they didn’t repeat that parental mistake. The 8 kids are not close to their parents and are not supportive of their parents in their senior years.</p>
<p>However, in you situation,I would advise you to see what scholarships you can get and find the cheapest quality education you can get in order to avoid a major obligation to your parents.</p>
<p>mom2collegekids - My parents and I have discussed that sacrifices will have to be made if I choose to go out of state. Because I had chosen more expensive options over cheaper in state, I will pay a larger percentage. </p>
<p>But even if I forgo Clemson or Auburn in lieu of more economical schools like ASU or UofA, I’ll still be expected to repay their portion(despite full tuition scholarships). With the major emphasis my parents have placed on the both of us saving for college, I’m surprised that I’ll be expected to shoulder the entire cost in the long run, even after turning down my desired schools.</p>
<p>No, it is our responsibility as parents to pay for their education</p>
<p>I know of someone who is having his marriage tainted because he turns over most or all of his paycheck to his mom as repayment for all her sacrifices in raising him & dines with her each night, even though he’s married. It’s a very different marriage from any I’ve heard of and no one know how long the marriage will last. The wife is very resentful of the arrangement.</p>
<p>It sounds like time for you & your folks to sit down calmly and have a discussion about expectations so that all of you have a common understanding and no surprises. It really doesn’t matter how unusual the arrangement is that you & your family agree to, as long as there is a common understanding and you can make decisions accordingly. It is tough that the decisions may not offer you the options you might otherwise wish or have been able to take advantage of, but it is good that at least your folks will help make it possible for your to attend a U & get a degree (even if they expect repayment). For some families, even that is not an option.</p>
<p>You say you’re “well to do” - but do you know that for a fact? Maybe your parents are in debt to their eyeballs, paying for a “well to do” lifestyle through credit cards and 2nd/3rd mortgages. Maybe your parents have no retirement savings - or are using whatever they saved for your education and therefore will eventually need that money to live. </p>
<p>If none of the above is the case, you will need to accept the fact that, for whatever reason, they expect you to ultimately pay for your own education. In which case, you will be in the same spot as millions of other students. Welcome to the 99% ;)</p>