<p>heron--too funny
I have figured out that whatever I do or don't do will elicit an irritable, argumentative attitude. but also noticed that the night I stayed up til 3 to order dorm stuff online my s was pretty sweet</p>
<p>sample at our house ( he leaves in one week)
me: so what did you decide about a special sun eve dinner, remember anything you want is fine...</p>
<p>him: why do you think I want that, that is so not what I want, thats the last thing I want and it won't be fun with my friends and family, and if its only one friend it would be weird, forget it I don't even want to talk about it</p>
<p>me: not sure what it is he doesn't want since it was left open ended---but realized that the thought of a "special dinner" is eliciting feelings of sadness/separation...hmm what to do</p>
<p>then last night we actually hung out together along with 17 yo d, watching dead poets society and I suggested we could be past the annoying each other stage--he smiled and agreed. he was a pup again for a moment...</p>
<p>This thread hits home. For whatever reason, about six months ago, my intuition said that the coming separation could be really horrible or really special. I made some conscious decisions in how I interact with both S and D (yes, both are leaving the home at the same time! From full house to empty nest). It has worked, stunningly, and the relationship with each has never been better.</p>
<p>Senior year was really hard for me too. I was not ready for it and all the emotional upheaval. Summer started out kind of rough as well--just his attitude--coulnd't talk to him at all with out a fight. It was rough.
Finally after one nice fight we had a talk and I told him how I was a bit on edge and emotional with his impending departure and I knew he probable was too. Also told him that I was sure that he was going to love college, that this is one of the most fun times of his life and that I was sad for me but very excited for him. After that his whole attitude changed. My son was back!!
I think acknowledging my feeling made him feel more at ease with his. He leaves tomorrow morning and he is excited and nervous. I am excited and sad. But it will be good--and lucky for me--he is only about an hour away so he may even come home and visit once in a while.</p>