<p>Last year when I came to college as a freshman, I had to move in for sorority recruitment three days before everyone else. I was absolutely miserable and cried every single day. Usually I am very carefree and nothing really bothers me but I became so depressed about being on my own and way from my family and having to grow up that it really took a toll on me. My mom had recently moved about 3 hours away from my school while the rest of my family was still up north trying to sell our house. All I wanted for 6 weeks was to leave school and go to a branch closer to my mom because I was so miserable and had never experienced something like this. Then, I became best friends with my roommate. We did absolutely everything together and she made me happy. I spent every single day with her and we really became close. I of course still missed my mom and family but I was better and by december I loved everything about school. I went home for the summer and missed school even though I was with my parents.</p>
<p>Now, I'm back two weeks early for sorority recruitment and find myself in the same funk I was last year. This time, my roommate isn't coming back for the semester and is trying to better her grades elsewhere, my dad is down 3 hours away from me working, and my mom is back up north trying to sell our home. I'm just as depressed as I was last year. I have friends with me, but I can't stop crying or being sad. My mom is my best friend and I can't stop wanting to text or talk to her. I'm doing all the same things as last fall like not wanting to eat, not unpacking my stuff, and not acting myself. I'm in a new apartment and want nothing else but to be back in my dorm with all my friends like last year. That or to go back with my parents somewhere. I can go visit my dad whenever I want since I have a car now but it's not enough to make me feel better. I want both of my parents there like they were last semester because that's when everything was at it's best, but it won't be like that until our house sells up north and we can actually buy a house down here instead of jumping from rental to rental. My mom is flying down to see me in late october but all I can keep thinking is I want to see her now and every day. I'm so depressed and unhappy and am so scared that I'll have to go through this again like last year. It was really the worst time of my life. I want to drop sorority recruitment right now because it's making everything worse. I know I'm terrible with change but I think It's so bad to the point of me needing help. Nothing's constant except my family and right now we're all separated between two states and five different cities. All I want is to feel like myself again and stop missing my mom and family so much but I don't know what to do. I am so depressed right now, I can't go down that dark path again because it was too much for me to handle then and is far too much for me to handle now.</p>
<p>Please help? Any opinions or advice will greatly be appreciated.</p>
<p>Run, do not walk, to your campus mental health service provider right now. They have the knowledge and experience to help you get back to yourself and to deal with all the changes in your life. Please don’t be embarrased or ashamed to seek help. Your student fees help cover this and you will be amazed how much better you’ll feel once you start working with a professional. Best of luck to you!</p>
<p>I agree. You really need more help than we can give you. It’s not a matter of just telling you to buck up. You know your feelings are irrational, but can’t fight them on your own. That’s okay. That said, I would have thought the business of sorority recruitment would help take your mind off things, so I would say don’t walk away from that yet. If you need to withdraw from school, that’s okay too however. Life is not a race even though it sometimes feels like one.</p>
<p>Yes, I agree. There is nothing to be ashamed about in feeling depressed – it happens to many, many people and it’s a natural consequence of all the upheaval surrounding going away to college.</p>
<p>I’ll also say that you should consider asking about anti-depressants. It can make all the difference, honestly – like you said, you just want to feel like yourself again.</p>
<p>Have you tried seeing a counselor of some sort yet? I know people sometimes don’t want to try counseling for various reasons, but it really can be helpful. Other than that have you and your mom tried Skyping maybe once or twice a week? That’s what I did with my mom while I studied abroad so that homesickness wouldn’t get the better of me.</p>
<p>So you are alone before school starts with no work to do and no friends…wait until school starts and you transition into "school mode’ and see how it goes. You can’t really change schools because your parents don’t have a stable home yet. Try to talk to someone at school. Can you skype with your mom?</p>
<p>It’s understandable that you are missing family, and maybe you are especially bothered by the fact that everyone is so spread out and things feel so unstable right now at home. That being said, I think you should definitely talk to a mental health counselor on campus while you sort things out. What are your fears? I have learned that somewhere at the root of most sadness is actually fear about something. If you can identify that, you can face it, challenge the reality of that fear, and move past it. Also, don’t forget about technology. Do your parents know how to skype or use facetime? Do that to help you feel not so out of touch. You do need to reach out to friends. Look around and maybe you can help a newer student who is also experiencing a tough time being away from home…you never know. You may be able to use your experience to help someone else, and that will help you as well. Good luck!</p>
<p>I have to join the chorus of parents encouraging you to see a mental health professional on campus. Please do this so that someone can help you feel better soon.</p>
<p>Crying every day for weeks at a time does not sound like a normal level of homesickness to me, neither for a freshman nor a sophomore. If your school has any sort of counseling, I would strongly suggest that you seek it out. If your school does not have a program and if finding outside counseling is not a possibility, then seek “informal” counseling. Talk this out with your family and your close friends. </p>
<p>The old adage that “you can’t go home again” is in some ways true. Even if you live with your parents now in the summers and even if you move home for some temporary period after graduation, you are past the point in your life of really living at home. You need to cope with this.</p>
<p>In addition to seeing a mental health professional, can I suggest you see a regular doctor and ask about a blood test for things like thyroid function, anemia, and vitamin D, etc? Very often depression is a symptom of a physical problem easily detected by a blood test.</p>
<p>awww hang in there. you’re not alone. every time I think I have life handled it throws me a monkey wrench and changes everything. I just try to roll with the waves the best I can. my whole family are fans of counseling and it’s hard to remember years where one or more of us was having regular meetings. even wifey and I were in couples counseling years before getting married! any boys in your neck of the woods that might provide some distraction? :-)</p>
<p>I felt the exact same way my Freshman year of college(I’m a senior now). I cried for days after my family left, which was weird for me because I was normally really happy and easygoing. I ran track and cross country for the university I went to and my teammates became my best friends. Even though I had really great friends I was still homesick for most of that year and ended up transferring. The school I transferred to I love and now that I look back I realize that I spent too much time and energy focusing on the past rather than building the future. It may seem hard right now but you have to just focus on fun events that are coming up. I think homesickness is always worse when you have hours of nothing to do because school hasn’t started yet and that just leaves you time to think about everything. Go to the gym, to the movies, shopping or out to eat with friends. Going out and doing stuff will make it easier and that way you can make good memories. I also suggest talking to someone about how you are feeling. I talked to someone my freshman year because I was really depressed. There is no shame in talking to someone and they can really help you see the bigger picture. Good luck!</p>
<p>You and I sound a lot alike. I am sorry you are having a rough time because everyone always says college is supposed to be the best time of your life. It is never fun when you are in such a funk and you can’t shake yourself out of it. I remember my freshman year I cried for weeks and felt very confused as to why all of a sudden I couldn’t deal with being away from home. One of the things I remembered was missing my mom, bed, and the comforts of home. My mom is my best friend too and I was constantly texting her, honestly I felt like I was bugging her from the constant stream of messages I would send her.
I think that something that really helped me was talking about it. At first, I was scared to go the mental health people on campus, but I was so glad when I did. I remember my first session I spent basically crying and the poor woman that had to listen to me kept handing me tissues. When I finally calmed down she gave me some useful advice. First, to go outside your comfort zone once a week ( this was hard for me considering I just wanted to sleep the whole time) Maybe join a different club or try a new activity. Second, be where the people are. They don’t need to be your friends but sitting in a common area where there is a lot of people like the student center really helps. I would purposefully bring work to do and sit in the student center just to hear people laughing and talking. It was weird but it helped it was definitely better than sitting in my room alone. Third, remain in contact with your loved ones. I was able to get my texts to my mother down to a reasonable amount and soon she would text me first to check in. Mainly if i felt like texting her I would write it out but not press send which took a lot of will power but it paid off. Lastly, know that what you are feeling is normal.
I agree distractions are the best. My worst times would be at night so I would plan a lot during my day and go to bed exhausted. I wouldn’t have time to over think things.
If the sorority thing is too much for you then it is okay to stop. I would use your mom’s visit as a reward and work really hard and then when she comes tell her what you have accomplished.</p>
<p>You got this just keep telling yourself that. Best of luck to you!</p>
<p>It seems like your life has been in a lot of upheaval the last couple of years, and that you are suffering a high level of stress in response. Your parents’ lives are obviously changing a lot, too–job changes, moving, financial stresses from having to sell a house while still paying rent, etc.</p>
<p>And of course, you want things to be the way they always have been because you were "happy’ then. Change is scary and unnerving, and sometimes people need help to deal with it, especially when changes are coming in like a tidal wave.</p>
<p>So get yourself some help. Campus is a good place to be because the help is available.</p>
<p>And in the meantime, do the small things that can make you happy for the immediate moment. Reach out to the new girls on campus. You know how lonely some of them must feel inside. Reach out to your sorority sisters for a few moments of fun. Take a walk, read a book, sketch a picture…</p>
<p>But please, get the help and support you need.</p>
Best of luck to you!</p>