<p>My child applied to and was accepted at two nice LACs. For a variety of reasons (some that appear in my other posts, some that don't), it's looking like child may not start next fall. While it would have been highly desirable to apply to other schools as well, all forward momentum/motivation has been lost.</p>
<p>What should we do? Can child apply next year, or would that just look bad? Or, should child commit to one of the two LACs and gap? Or, should child be nudged into applying to some "rollings"?</p>
<p>I'm not sure how to pick up the pieces....</p>
<p>I'd hate to think that community college is the only option now after the bright future that child had two short years ago....</p>
<p>As you can tell, I'm not dealing with this very well.</p>
<p>If you are back and it seems you are welcome back. Is your concern that accepting the offer from the LAC and gapping would make it impossible to back out later? After the gap year? I know a kid who did this and ended up just fine.</p>
<p>I don't see your situation as starting over really you are just on a road the took you on an outter loop.........you have options.</p>
<p>If child intended to apply to more schools, but had so far applied to 2 and has been accepted to 2...</p>
<p>but now has no momentum/motivation (circumstances have intervened)...</p>
<p>what do we do??</p>
<ol>
<li> accept one of the two we've got and go</li>
<li> accept one of the two we've got and gap</li>
<li> since we've missed the RD deadlines, nudge child to apply to the remaining rollings and go or gap</li>
<li> do nothing and start applying all over again next year (will that work?)</li>
<li> go the community college route (my worst nightmare come true because I think it will end college for good)</li>
</ol>
<p>It all seems so bleak right now. I don't know why the bottom has dropped out. Child won't talk about it and is with a therapist who's working the issue. The problem is the clock is ticking. I want child to have the happy college experience, but part of that is actually going to college.</p>
<p>a lot depends on why gap
My daughter took a gap year because the school that she had planned on attending for so long, just wasnt exactly what she wanted.
She also acknowledged that she wasn't ready- and she wanted a break inbetween high school and college, and she had some very structured suggestions of how she would spend her time.
Money wasn't an issue, she was admitted to all her schools, with some merit aid , that brought cost below EFC.
Because all of the schools she applied to were public, none held her place, but they appreciated her decision to take a gap year.
The next year she reapplied to the same schools and added a 5th school, that previously would have been a significant reach for her.</p>
<p>I can't really give helpful suggestions because I don't know why gap is being considered. Is it because money is an issue? Academic interest fading? Not enough acceptances from affordable schools?</p>
<p>Gap is being considered chiefly because child is confused and paralyzed. Child says wants college, but has a great deal of difficulty being self-directed and managing day-to-day living. About 1-1/2 years ago, child entered a period in which child questioned everything child was doing and began the great strive toward independence...but without a clue about what that meant. Child is college material, not top tho by any means, but is flailing right now...and I'm not confident could survive first year like this.</p>
<p>State schools are pretty much out of the question because they are either too competitive for child, too large, or do not offer the support services needed. Private schools are either too far away or too expensive. Child would prefer to be closer to home, but the first choice school's cost minus merit money would be $11,000 more than the EFC. But to make matters worse, the finaid pkg of forms they sent to us after he was accepted states what they really are is an IM school which means that we would have a much, much larger EFC, and we're nearly retirement age. Plus, we anticipate that it'll take 5 years for child to complete college.</p>
<p>We feel we have run out of time.</p>
<p>If child applies to a new set of schools next year, when more mature and more settled, will it look bad that child is already out of school one year? We already know that child's first choice school will let child gap, but we are uncertain what will become of merit money...we're afraid to ask, because if we decide to go that route, we desperately need it.</p>
<p>schools generally consider an older student to be desirable.
Harvard even sends letters suggesting such to their rising freshman students.
If he has a school, where he wants to attend, but just wants to get things sorted first- i don't think it would be a disadvantage to take a year off- I would ask the school however about what would be the status if for example student is interested in taking a few community college courses before entering. That may be a way to build skills and confidence as well as save some money- there should be an idea of how many credits can be earned before is considered a transfer student</p>
<p>One poster told me that whether merit money stays or goes depends on the college. It feels like a Catch-22. If child goes to college and is not ready and flunks out...we lose the $$. If child gaps to get ready for college...we may lose the $$.</p>
<p>Listen to the sound of cow bells ringing in my head.</p>
<p>One poster told me that whether merit money stays or goes depends on the college.</p>
<p>That makes sense because that seems to be where most of merit money comes from in the first place. Where my D ultimately decided to attend- didn't offer merit- but the public schools that did, retained their offer</p>
<p>Not ready and flunks out: that sounds like you are dropping child on campus and have lost any ability to advise for withdrawal rather than failure.......you seem to have all that is needed for a medical withdrawal. Most schools have several types of withdrawal. Personal, medical, financial.....lots of them. Have you looked to see what #1 school offers?</p>
<p>There is nothing wrong with taking a gap year.</p>
<p>There are many fine community colleges, and these schools can save money. Do you live in California?</p>
<p>People develop at different rates and you have to understand how your kid is developing and not how everyone else's kid is developing. If your kid isn't ready to go to a 4-year school, all that means is he isn't ready. Nothing else.</p>
<p>Many kids don't graduate in four years. It is not necessary to graduate in four years to have a successful life. </p>
<p>If your kid doesn't want to fill out college applications, I can't blame him. Sounds like a sign of intelligence to me.</p>
<p>There are schools that have deadlines after Feb. 1. </p>
<p>Find schools that have simple applications. There are tons. </p>
<p>He can always go to one school and transfer later to another. Life will still work out.</p>
<p>Kity - An article on the college website talking about another student who took a gap year and spent it in a disadvantaged country teaching youngsters, said "college" accepts gap year requests from admitted students, but they may not take college courses because "college" wants them to be "true freshman" (whatever the bejebbers that means) when they begin at "college".</p>
<p>What I'd like child to do is to take classes of some sort to improve executive skills and writing -- two areas of known disability -- I hope to be able to negotiate this. We don't want to game the system, we want this gap year to help child, as you say, sort things out and level the playing field so education will be a success.</p>
<p>I guess at this point the financial load is extremely bothersome not just because it's so very expensive, but because the likelihood of child not surviving the first year feels so high to me. I feel a just outcome would be: please let child have gap year with merit money retention, let child take disability-directed remedial classes, then allow child to enter on leveled playing field.</p>
<p>SAGE your best bet is to contact the school of choice and ask your questions directly - may ease your mind to know if your kiddo is able to defer for 1 year and to keep/lose merit monies. You sound sooo stressed - and if your kiddo is not ready to leave college by the fall - for medical reasons - that is an acceptable reason to defer for a semester or for a full year.</p>
<p>The horses mouth will bear the best truths.</p>
<p>YOu are NOT running out of time - but you need direct answsers for your questions - and then you can help your kiddo to make an informed decision - you have alot of time to see how things fall together - or apart - but don't panic. </p>
<p>You may also find that if your kiddo does defer - he may be able to take 1-2 classes locally that may help him thru a bit of the adjustment time - even if those classes won't count at the school he eventually go to - but are worth the experience - and may actually help give him some sense of accomplishment - knowing he will be able to move on from there - Community College needs to be looked at as a stepping stone - not an end of the road.</p>
<p>my thoughts are after a gap year spent on activities that will help child become a better prepared college student, different colleges may surface that are better fits
If the school wont commit to holding merit money- I personally wouldn't worry about it- because there will be another year to find schools that are better fits financially and academically
What we saw was that a gap year made sstudent more attractive rather than less, and schools were more likely to offer merit or an attractive grant heavy aid package</p>
<p>
[quote]
let child take disability-directed remedial classes, then allow child to enter on leveled playing field.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Without being too nosey.......disability classes? What would this be? Is your student suffering from a head injury or such? Brain trauma? If that is the case then you have special circumstances.</p>
<p>Child took old SAT in late fall of Junior year. Will those scores still be okay for future apps? Child does not want to take SAT IIs, nor anything else.</p>
<p>hazmat - To answer your Q...classes to improve executive functioning, such as organization skills, time managment, planning, note taking, reading, study skills. Also, the executive function skills used to plan, research, and write papers.</p>
<p>SAGE - one thing taking a year off will do - give you/him another year to ''find'' schools that may better suit him - but also please up to my last post. As far as the SAT - schools may want the more current ones - :(</p>
<p>May want to consider him taking the ACT tho - as it may better suit him - that is if he does not defer also.</p>
<p>Being a true freshman will be a consideration for some schools - but not for all - so you would have to find out if the preferred accepted LAC will or will not encourage that.</p>
<p>Also - a deferred year due to illness - does NOT have to be filled with something exotic - but needs to be filled with his recovery.</p>
<p>Gottcha. While I understand what you are trying to do and that you must feel great sadness and loss, sometimes the best thing is to focus on what you have in the present........let the future come later. I hear in your posts the parental disappoint, the trying to save your child from loss......it is the parental task after all. I am not sure that all you are seeking here is the answer to your current problem and your feelings of loss and disappointment. You are dancing as fast as you can while your student is addresssing today's issues. I am saying this from every kind thought.</p>
<p>Gap years CAN make a student more attractive, but not if they sit around and do nothing, or take a few CC classes and don't do well. Talk to the schools directly - they can advise you. They can't retract their offers just because you talk with them about hypothetical situations, so it is a good idea to meet with them to explore your options. Your son could also ask in writing to hold off on accepting merit scholarships until the May deadline - maybe by then he will have some idea of what he wants. And there are always students who pay the deposit, then pull out over the summer because they change their minds or get accepted off a waitlist to a more desirable (to them) college. So in a worse case scenerio, he could pull out of a college at the last minute, if it really looks like it won't work. Your son doesn't need to decide anything quite yet, and the picture may look very different in a few months.</p>